Title: Can we just fall

Pairing: 2yoon (ssangyoon) Jeon Jiyoon x Heo Gayoon

Summary: A lot of falling involved.

Author’s note: I feel old, tired, and I just...really want to write. Special mention to other 4nias, hello!

i.

After all these years, Jiyoon still wanted the same thing. Over and over again.

She wanted to be better. She still trained everyday. She studied every night. 

But no matter how long she tried, it felt dry. Everything looked dull. 

Whenever she closed her eyes, tears only greeted her. It was the only constant thing she had. 

Some nights though, Gayoon would visit her apartment. And she would welcome her with her familiar scent. Sometimes it would be enough. And sometimes, when it wasn’t, she would hold Jiyoon a little bit longer.

Gayoon assured her every time, she didn’t need to be better. She was more than enough. Jiyoon didn’t know what she meant by that.

But it was enough for her to get through the night.

ii.

This was the last performance of Jiyoon. More than 300 came in for her, 800 maybe. Years of training, all of it gone at the last second of her song. She was getting teary-eyed, her bangs almost reaching her tired eyes, poking them until she couldn’t stop the tears. She bowed at the audience before the darkness enveloped her. 

No encore. 

She was just falling. She knew. But it did not hurt to try, right?

Except all she felt was pain, and she’s still just falling.

The audience pulled her back to reality. They were clapping for her. She stood up proud and thanked everyone. She’ll cut her bangs after this, was all she could think of. 

“Jiyoonie, I love you!” It was a faint scream from someone familiar. Buried right away from the crowd when people chanted her name for the last time.

After the concert, Jiyoon held Gayoon’s hand that night. Both a little bit drunk. Jiyoon shouted you to the training room, you to the recording studio. And more yous on her own shadow. They walked away from the agency’s office, swaying on the slurs of the alcohol. Giggling on how dare she uttered those words.

“You know, Gayoon.” Jiyoon pulled the brunette girl closer, the scent of alcohol stronger than the other girl’s scent. “I heard you there. A while ago.”

“Yeah?” Gayoon her lips, probably dried from the coldness of the night. Or from the longing of the other girl’s lips.

“Yeah. Loud and clear.” Jiyoon smiled. She could see the stars in the girl’s eyes. It was too bright for her, so she moved closer, waited until Gayoon closed them both. Jiyoon helped her with those dry lips, enjoyed the taste of alcohol and those sweet sweet scent of hers.

She may be drunk. But she knew there were more than stars in Gayoon's eyes.

iii.

She was furious at her. “Don’t tell me you’re brave! Don’t tell me you never gave up!”

Gayoon never dared to wipe those tears on her face. And Jiyoon didn’t know what to do. Her shoulders fell in defeat. Everything’s gone. 

Wouldn’t it hurt if everything’s gone?

“You’re afraid. You’re just afraid to fall.” Gayoon reached out and pulled her closer to her. 

“I’m always falling, I'm constantly falling. Have you seen my career? It was my life over there. But I did not give up.” Jiyoon felt tears on her eyes building up. It’s her bangs fault again. “But now, it’s over. I’m done. I failed. So, please Gayoon. Don’t tell me I’m afraid to fall, when all my life that’s all I felt.” 

Jiyoon felt the other girl’s hands, loosening her grip. “So, what are we?”

“Friends.” 

“Friends? Wh-what are you--”

“...Yes, Gayoon. Friends.”

Gayoon laughed softly, or that’s wha