Jimin was going through a painful heartbreak when he barged into his life. It just happened that his girlfriend broke up with him a week prior the first day they mey. His buddy slash roommate Taehyung announced that his big brother from Australia was arriving back in their country, and was to stay in their dorm for the mean time. Being in a state of deep sorrow and depression, Jimin gave zero and shrugged it off like it was nothing important. But little did he know how this brother would change everything. 

It turned out that Kim Namjoon is a nice and bubbly person like Taehyung, but less naïve. In fact, the guy was brilliant in a sense that he had answers and opinions for all global issues out there. Sometimes, Jimin heard how he conversed with Taehyung in the living room as if he was a college professor and his younger brother was his apprentice. Jimin scoffed from the kitchen, coming up with an assumption that his roommate's big brother was a Mr. Know-it-all.  

Yes, he didn't like Namjoon at first. and it only got worse on one night. The three of them were eating dinner quietly when his eyes caught the golden ring wrapped around Namjoon's long slender finger. A frown easily crawled its way to his face that suggested irritation, but mostly bitterness. It reminded the plan he had when he and his ex-girlfriend still together. He  was planning to propose to her after graduation, something he couldn't stop thinking of every night. For some reason the ring on Namjoon's finger was staring back at him, mocking him. 

Taehyung loudly and excitedly announced that his older brother was engaged and was about to get married in three months in their country and that they would be back to Australia for their honeymoon. If anything, that made his nerve irked even more. Without knowing, his fists were clenching on his lap. Taehyung was still speaking when he promptly sprung up from his chair, walked out and stomped his way upstairs. He flopped straight on his bed and cried himself to sleep.

The next day, Namjoon walked up to him and apologized, much to Jimin's bewilderment. The elder apologized for being insensitive to his state that made Jimin chuckle. He opposed, saying that he should be the one apologizing, for how he acted up last night, letting his bitter disposition take over him. With that, Namjoon nodded and formed a bright smile. Only that moment Jimin realized how deep his dimples were.

Little by little, he started to appreciate the elder's kindness and friendliness. He was quite the joker too. It was nice having someone alongside him bully Taehyung. God, he hadn't laughed that hard since his breakup.

Jimin regretted how he acted toward the elder before. He blamed it to his bitter self. The pain in his chest turned him into an . He wanted to make up to the elder by inviting him to watch a film and eat pizza with him. Being the kind and friendly guy he was, Namjoon instantly agreed.

They ended up watching a mystery, horror Thai film that night, in the couch, a large duvet covering their legs. This time, he learned that Namjoon was jumpy and easily-frightened to not even so-frightening scenes. Jimin kept his eyes focused on the screen whole munching on a  bowl of corn chips, anticipating for the appalling scene. But before it happened, Namjoon suddenly spoke beside him, asking him the most question he avoided the most. 'What happened to you and your girlfriend?'

Jimin's attention on the screen swept away altogether as he slowly turned his impassive eyes to the other. He simply shook his head and told Namjoon that he wasn't ready to talk about it. With a warm smile, Namjoon apologized and promised not to bother him with the question again, and that if he wanted to talk about something, serious or trivial, Namjoon's always one call away. 

Jimin still blamed himself and he knew how he looked pathetic in front of others. It was his fault for not being able to recover from the pain.  And it certainly his fault for being a slave of yesterday's torment but he couldn't do anything about it. He was just weak.

Namjoon was sincerely a nice person and obviously someone who wanted to help but he was too broken that he became blind to other people's efforts. 

 

When he thought there was no hope for him and Namjoon to get clsoe, Taehyung came back from school, showing three tickets to newly opened water park. of course, Jimin instantly refused and planned to lock himself in his room for the whole day but unfortunately for him Taehyung had his own ways convincing him to go out, bask under the sunlight and have fun. 

But he proved himself wrong when they stepped in the park. there were many exotic beautiful sea animals sprawled in every aquarium. Taehyung wasn't lying when he said it'd be fun inside. There were cute baby penguins, large swordfishes, and  more but his favorite were those elegantly beautiful manta rays. The way they dance magically in water was enough to mesmerized his dull eyes. Before he knew it, his lips were stretching into a wide delighted smile. Yet it easily faltered when he heard Namjoon talking to Taehyung about how he was looking forward to bring his fiancée in this park after they wed.

They briefly had a break, Taehyung left the two in the table to seek for his favorite banana split around the food court. Then all of a sudden, Namjoon leaned in and said: it's nice to see you having fun. you should smile more often. Jimin didn't know why but he felt his cheeks burning up upon hearing those gentle words from the other, and it took him long to recover. He chuckled and scratched his head awkwardly, refusing to meet the elder's gaze. Because he swore he just felt his heartbeat raised for a second, though he wouldn't admit it aloud as he sip lowly on his soda. 

Taehyung was craving for something sweet that night. He declared he wanted ice cream and much to brother's chagrin, it was on him. They sat in the couch and agreed on seeing another horror movie despite Namjoon's serious protests, thinking his Jimin and his little brother were in conspiracy. The movie wasn't even halfway the middle when Namjoon began screaming and jumping off the couch. Taehyung could only laugh like there's no tomorrow whilst Jimin could barely suppress his own laughter. 

But it wasn't long before Taehyung drifted to sleep from too much consumption of ice cream, his feet lying on his older brother's lap. Jimin, who was in the other end of the couch still indulged himself with peppermint ice cream whilst waiting for another jumpy scene and lowkey anticipating for another reaction from the frightened man. The jumpscare happened, Namjoon flinched and let out a obnoxious curse. Jimin burst out laughing, throwing his head back, earning him a glare from the elder that quickly made him shut his mouth. But still he couldn't stop his lips from forming a smile as he turned his attention back to the shortly neglected movie. Namjoon remained silent beside him but be could hear him breathing heavily. Jimin started to think he might've offended Taehyung's big brother until he felt a thumb gently grazing on the corner of his mouth. 

Jimin stopped breathing as Namjoon casually wiped off the stain of ice cream off the corner of his lips, barely hearing Namjoon scolding him for being a messy eater just like his fiancée. 

The elder had already turned back to the movie but Jimin was left stuck in his trance. It took long painful seconds before his heartbeat went back to its regular pace. 

 

Seeing how Jimin slowly but surely going back to normal, Taehyung decided it was time for him to go back to school. Somehow Jimin couldn't find himself objecting with his roommate because to be truth he felt it himself, the pain in his heart had started to subdue. He was happy of course and he wished his heart would completely heal soon. 

The moment he stepped into his classroom, his close friends immediately greeted him with warm smiles and hugs. Those simple but kind gestures and sent soothing embrace to his slowly healing heart. 

But since he was gone for too long, he made sure to make up with all the test and other curriculums he missed. The rest of the day went smooth until the last hours of class. He was looking for Taehyung when it occured in the hallway. 

He stopped on his tracks.

Surely, he should've seen it coming given that they attend the same school but still he couldn't deny that pang in his chest seeing his ex standing a few meters away from him. The girl was looking at him with equally shocked expression, but hers was close to sadness and guilt. All the aggressive  pain he felt from day one came back rushing into him like a violent tidal wave. 

Jimin reached for her. The latter took a step back. The reaction made a sharp sting in his chest. Before he could say or do anything, she turned around, going back to where she came from. He dropped his hand, eyes not leaving her back. It was long before he recovered and move his legs from the ground.

Jimin remained silent during the ride back to their apartment, he was thankful enough that Taehyung decided not to question about it. 

 

The food on his plate was left untouched whilst Jimin stare into space. He knew his heart was aching but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to care. Perhaps his body had grown tired of crying endlessly or perhaps, he's got no more tears left to cry. Either way all he wanted was everything to stop. 

He was so deep in thoughts that he didn't notice Namjoon approaching or even taking the seat beside him. Only then he realized his presence and conscious when he began to utter these words: 

'You shouldn't let this get the best of you. Nothing good would happen if you kept dwelling in the past, seeking answers for questions you knew you would never get. Yes, you think you can't do it but you've gotta to realize that you don't have any choice but just let it go. Stop tormenting yourself'.

His brows knit in disapproval. Anger flooded out of him before he could stop it. 'Of course, all of these are easy for you to say because you don't know the pain, 'cause you weren't the one whose heart was broken, 'cause your girlfriend didn't reject your proposal. Good for you, pal', Jimin spat them with utter bitterness. But to his dismay, Namjoon remained impassive, looking at him sympathetic. 

Jimin quietly balled his fists. if anything he was more angry to himself, mostly for showing this side of him in front of Namjoon. a side of him that was weak and vulnerable. god, he was disgusted with himself. 

Then he felt a hand over his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, a gesture that was implying: it's fine. 

'I think you should be thankful to her. know why? because she chose to set you free, instead of caging you in a false romance that could wreck both of you worse than you could imagine. She did it because she was honest and she wanted you to move on so you could have the chance to find the real one for you. You may have not realized it, but you were lucky.'

Jimin remained silent as his strained muscles started to loosen. The frown on his face was no longer there and instead, there was hope starting to form in his eyes just like what Namjoon intended to happen. He smiled in accomplishment, reaching up to pinch the younger's cheek. and again, Jimin felt a weird coiling in his stomach, but in a good way. A feeling of when you taste sweet cupcakes for the first time. Boy, he wished he knew how these kind of bubbly feelings built up inside him. And as much as he wanted to hide it, his cheeks were betraying him. Even if he couldn't see it, he knew his face was red as tomato and seeing the elder thoroughly enjoying it only added to his torment. 

Later that night, he soaked his face with a scoop of water before glaring at himself in the mirror. What the hell do you think you're doing? He scolded himself. 

 

The next morning, Namjoon knocked to his room and invited him to take a look with the newly opened diner around the block. Jimin didn't know what it was for or why Namjoon chose to be with him instead of his brother but he couldn't bring himself to care. He wouldn't admit it that easy but he was more than excited spending time with Namjoon outside, just the two of them. 

 

They ate in silence, indulging the taste of new dish before Namjoon initiated throwing a conversation. he talked mainly about his family including Taehyung, and then his painful but fun college days. they talked and laughed over silly things such as Namjoon's embarrassing moments in his old university. Strangely enough, he didn't talk about his fiancée until Jimin brought it up. Namjoon stayed silent for a moment before emitting a smile that Jimin never saw before. The kind of smile that could bring bright colors to any monochromatic things. The kind that showed nothing but bliss. Jimin could swear there were little birds flying around when he talked about his beloved fiancée as if he couldn't live without her. Definitely, he looked so much happy it hurt. Just to stop him from doing so, Jimjn began spilling stories about how his ex and how they met. 

 

There were so many things that Jimin wished would never go but some good things were really not just meant to last forever, just like the day Namjoon said goodbye. To say that Jimin was perturbed is an understatement. It was like woken up from a wonderful dream by a splashed water. He couldn't utter a word as he watch Taehyung bid his own goodbye to his brother.

Somehow he felt a heavy weigh in his chest that made it difficult for him to breathe. But the worst part was that time recognizing the emotion he had at the moment, that was so unfortunately familiar for he had felt it a lot of times. 

Sadness. 

Then he felt warm arms embracing his unknowingly shaking body, he stopped and let go of the breath he didn't know he was holding. For some reason, the elder's embrace calmed him. it satiated his body like sipping a hot delicious choco in the middle of winter night. the was like a feeling of  seeing sun after a long week of storm. He wanted it so bad his heart began palpitating madly in his chest. 

Quickly, he wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling in closer to the addicting warmth. he squeezed his eyes shut as he let all his emotions flow out of him like a watercourse. 

Soon, he felt a gentle hand patting his back in a soothing manner. tears were already threatening to come out of his eyes when Namjoon pulled back, offering his brightest smile. Jimin responded it with a weak smile and  watched until he disappeared at the door. 

Only then he realized what prompted his heart to beat like that. 

 

Two days after Namjoon left, Jimin finally gave up and let his resolve break down. God, he missed him. without thinking twice, he asked his roommate for his brother's number with the slightest hint of fear that Taehyung might pick up on his intention. But to his surprise, his friend didn't seem to care. He just handed his brother's contact number nonchalantly and went back to whatever he was doing. 

Needless to say, Jimin ran straight to his room and with a new plucked courage, quickly punched the digits on his phone. Then he waited for the other line to pick up, his lip nervously. Lucky for him it only took three rings before Namjoon finally answered. 

His heart undoubtedly skipped a beat the second he heard Namjoon's voice. a smile slowly crept its way on face as he began to greet him.

 

For so many days, they talked with each other through phone. There wasn't a day that he could go on without hearing the elder's voice. It was like his daily dose. He was just lucky Taehyung hadn't suspected anything yet. But god was he so madly in love it came to the point he no longer listened to the voices screaming in his head. The same voices before that strictly told him not to fall for a guy who already belonged to someone else, to stop his foolishness before he could regret it. 

But one thing was that he was always thinking dumb when he was under the spell of love. He knew it himself but still he couldn't stop himself. 

 

When he was waiting for the bus, he thought of calling Namjoon in a chance to talk about his day, like the usual. And as usual, he waited excitedly for him to pick up but much to his surprise he heard a woman's voice instead of the one he longed for. 

He froze longer than he should, the words he rehearsed before were now stuck on the tip of his tongue. 

'Hello? is anybody there?'

He blinked, pulling back from his trance. slowly, he took the phone away from his ear and pressed the end button without thinking twice. his fists unknowingly clenching. 

The next days he stopped calling Namjoon, too afraid to experience the same incident. For some reason, the idea of talking to the fiancée or even hearing her voice made his stomach sick. He was traumatized in some sense. 

 

But fate seemed to be playing at him at some point. He woke up from the blaring ringtone of his phone. his sight was hazy when he peek the caller id with one eye. Hastily, he stood up from the bed and focused his eyes on the screen. There was a battle going inside his head. Majority of the voices in his head were telling him to stop his foolishness and leave the guy alone. but before he knew it, his hand was working on its own, answering the call.

A small smile plastered on his lips as he heard his voice and his heart made a silly flip when Namjoon asked him to come over his apartment.

Being the smart person Jimin was, he wasn't usually the kind that drove himself into a corner but when cupid struck his heart, all rationalities left in him had faded in the wind. 

So he thought everything made sense when he found himself standing in front of Namjoon's door. He was welcomed with Namjoon's smile that he missed so much and god, was he glad seeing the same happiness and longing in his eyes.

 

They talked and laughed for hours just like they did before with an Indie movie playing in the background that neither of them mind to watch. Jimin could watch his face from dusk until dawn. strangely enough, the fiancée was nowhere to be seen and he didn't bother to ask, as if he was in a wonderful dream where he didn't wish to wake up from. Yes, he felt like he was in a dream because everything was just too good to be true. Surely, he didn't deserve being around someone like him but here he was, listening to the addicting sound of his laughter. Their shoulders brushing casually as if they've known each other years. Being close with Namjoon like this brought a nice swelling feeling in his chest, like a balloon that was about to burst in any second.

And it didn't help when Namjoon leaned his head against his shoulder as he rest from laughing over the last funny scene in the movie. Jimin's breath hitched. He couldn't help but wonder if Namjoon was like this as well around his other friends, or just plainly in the mood to show fondness, let his guard down. Either way, Jimin found it difficult to breath. He was merely intoxicated with the other's shampoo scent. 

And then Namjoon was shifting in his position, leaning back against the couch. With a soft smile, he reached the his fringe in a gentle manner. 'It's good to know you've fully recovered from your recent heartbreak'.

Perhaps Namjoon meant them in a friendly way but for him, it was different. He interpreted it as if there were other meaning behind those words. Their eyes made contact for a second before he leaned forward and let their lips touched. He felt his heart bursting in his chest from overwhelming happiness. If anything, this feeling was better than the first time he kissed his ex. But this was nothing compared to the feeling he had when Namjoon started to kiss back. He actually did! without hesitation. No more, no less. So this was what it felt like being on cloud nine.

Soon, Jimin felt hand cupping his cheek affectionately as the kiss turned more ardent. He couldn't help but form a small smile, his other hand going up to touch the elder's hand. Unexpectedly, his finger grazed on the small piece of metal wrapped around that hand. The ring.

And that was when Jimin finally woke up from his placid dream. Realization hit him like a running truck. He put the distance back between them in a beat as he looked up to Namjoon with equally disappointed look but his had a small trace of sadness. 

Hastily, Jimin stood up from the couch, shaking his head sternly. This is not right, was what he uttered before walking away. But before he could move in further, there was a tight grip of fingers around his wrist, eventually stopping him.  

Jimin closed his eyes, feeling a throbbing pain in his chest. Don't make it worse, damn it. 

As much as he wanted this to happen, for Namjoon to choose him, for giving him the privilege to experience this kind of breathtaking love, his conscience couldn't bide this well. Simply, he couldn't afford to break the fiancée's heart, let alone make her suffer the same way he did. 

So, with a heavy heart, he pulled his wrist from Namjoon's hold with steadfast force and marched straight to the door. 

For days, he ignored Namjoon's calls. He tried to call twice--no thrice every day, desperately trying to reach to him, only making it hard for Jimin to recover and move on. Yes, that's the only choice he had, right? It's not like he's all set to steal Namjoon away from his fiancée. Even if the temptation sounded good to his heart, if there was anything he hated the most, it was selfishness. He learned from the best.

But he wouldn't blame himself, hence he wanted to blame fate for giving him this kind of mishap in his life because of all people why did he have to fall for an already engaged man, for someone already committed to someone else? Why was the heaven so cruel to him? 

God, he just wished he met him sooner, before he met his ex or better, before he and his fiancée had met. Perhaps, there'd be a lot beautiful possibilities happening better than today.

There was no doubt he was the unluckiest person in the world to experience heartbreaks consecutively. But at times likes this, there was only one person who could help him get through and survive somehow. It was none other than his roommate and best friend. If it wasn't for him, Jimin might've completely lost it and fell apart from a long time before.

This time, Taehyung had suggested that they walk to the park near their dormitory. He was quite surprise at first because his roommate never fancied night outing and he always complained about the coldness. Nevertheless, he found himself grabbing for his coat He was always willing to indulge with his best friend's craziness afterall. 

So they walked the dim sidewalk of the street accommodated by luminous lights. 

They were nearing the park when Taehyung suddenly talked about their mean professor in advanced biotechnology and how his nostrils flare when he scolded their classmates. Jimin managed to laugh despite the cold wind blowing his face. He stuffed his hands deeply in his jacket's pockets as they walk down the steep concrete sidewalk that led them to the park. 

Taehyung was still throwing shades about another one of their professors when Jimin moved his eyes forward and his laughter slowly faltered. His feet stopped on their own as his eyes remained on the guy a few meters away from them, sitting in one of the swings of the park. 

Little did he expect to see the last person he ever wanted to see that night. The one that had been messing with his head for the last two weeks. There sitting calmly on the swing, waiting for someone.

Taehyung cleared his throat while gesturing for his roommate to go for it. Jimin had to look up to see if he was serious but unfortunately, he was. And before he could ask the reason why Taehyung set this up, the latter was already strolling back, saying he'd wait for him in front of the gates of their dorm. 

Of course, he didn't agree with this. He didn't want any of this but when Taehyung decided, there was no way out. Heck, just the thought of his best friend having the idea that he got a thing for his older brother was already unsettling. He could worry about that later but for now, it was time for him to face the music.

A low sigh escaped his lips as he strode toward the man waiting at the swings and the first thing he noticed was the dark bags under his eyes, his face screamed nothing but stress and misery. If anything, Namjoon's state looked worse than his. Jimin hadn't time to react to that because right now he was wondering what was in his head.  

'Hey.'

Namjoon greeted nonchalantly with a rather forced smile and it was a hard to notice the weariness in his voice. Nevertheless, Jimin responded with a curt nod shoving his cold hands back in his pockets. 

And the next thing the elder had said were blunt and straight to the point, no sugar coated words or any refreshments, just what exactly Jimin wanted to hear that night.  

'I know this sounds off and weird but I can't stop thinking about you while you were gone for a couple weeks. I just know that I had to let these things out of my chest before I lose my mind so please, answer me honestly.'

He waited calmly and patiently for some seconds before he dropped it. 

'The thing between us... was that real?'

The way he released those words seemed harder to him as much as hearing them for him. But let's focus to the question here. Well, it was obviously more than easy for Jimin to answer that one 'cause that was what his heart certainly had been screaming from the past few weeks. The answer was already sitting pretty on the tip of his tongue. 

Yes.

But he knew how a broken heart felt like. It was sad but he could admit how very familiar he was to that kind of pain. And thinking how he'd hand over that awful suffering to Namjoon's fiancée made him sick in the stomach. 

Therefore, he shook his head nonchalantly like the way he answered his mother's question about if he still liked the course he took in college. 

'I'm sorry. It was a mistake. Everything was'.

Silence did its job letting all of it sink in to Namjoon's head. And then Jimin was given the chance to see hope and expectation crumble slowly on the other's face. The only thing that he could do at the at the moment was turn away. He couldn't stand seeing him that way. God, this was way harder than he expected. 

Namjoon's low chuckle pulled him back to earth It sounded weak and forced. Jimin tried hard to endure the pain throbbing in his chest and god how he wished this would be over sooner. 

As if the heavens heard him, Namjoon emit a small smile at him and said the next words  Jimin might remember forever. 

'Is that so? Then that's a good thing.'  He chuckled awkwardly. 'You're right. I guess we were just both confused at the time. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you, Jimin. You were such a nice guy I had no idea what came to me to do something like that.'

Jimin could only nod his head in response, merely playing along with Namjoon's lies because he knew it was better that way. 

Next thing he knew was that Namjoon's bidding his goodbye, telling him to take care before walking away. Watching him leaving like that was utterly painful for him. His ultimate punishment, having his final hardest battle with himself. The urge to scream and stop Namjoon before it was too late and regret it the rest of his life. His legs were aching to move, to run after him. There was a wild tumult going inside him that was painful. The was voice in his head hollering at him telling him: What the hell are you doing? Watching the love of your life walk away just like that? Move your ing before you consider him as the one that got away. 

'For the record, if you weren't engaged with someone else at the moment, perhaps, I would've listened to my heart and jumped recklessly without thinking 'bout anything else. Just saying.'

That was what his mind was telling him to say.

His inner self battle was almost finished but

Namjoon was already gone, so he let go of his heart and let it sink hard down to his stomach. He let the tears slid down his cheeks whilst making a wishful promise to himself. 

Jimin jogged back up the steep sidewalk, hands stuffed in his pockets. Then he saw Taehyung standing under the lamppost, wearing a proud smile. Jimin couldn't help but smile back. Taehyung curled his arm around his neck as they continued to walk together.

I guess tomorrow will be the day I'll love y