"Took you long enough. How was the toilet? Fun? Interesting?" Seulgi smiled.

Jongin stared dumbly at her as he bit the inside of his cheek, clutching the coffee cup as hard as he could. It amazed him to see her smile and be so cheerful despite her situation. For someone who is sick, she sure is lively. He came closer as he kept his gaze on her.

"Are you just going to stare? You're so in love with me, I just know it."

Jongin was about to come up with a snarky reply when several doctors came to check on her vitals. Her family on the other side of the room. Her mother motioned for him to come, held his hand, and gave her a reassuring smile.The medical staff wheeled her bed out of her room and into the OR. Seulgi was connected to different machines, the skin around her eyes red, her cheeks hollow, her bony hand holding on to his. What had been the personification of sunshine, the once bright and cheerful Seulgi laid on a hospital bed, almost lifeless.

A sharp pain struck his chest as he watched her fight for the life she so wanted to live. He held her hand tighter and he bit the inside of his cheek. Their dreams flashed before him as regret filled his heart. Even if the odds do not allow it, Jongin swore, that if he had one more chance, he'd take her place. The universe could take anything from him. And God forbid, not her. Just not her.

And all he could do was watch. Is this what it feels like to be so lost?

To be so stuck in a state of hopelessness. To watch as the life begins to fade from their eyes, and the constant fear that one day when you wake up, they will be gone. Knowing you haven't done enough, so you tell yourself that they're fighting, they're okay, they'll make it. You've given up, even when you don't realize it.

The medical staff stopped momentarily to give the small family some space as they exchanged reassuring words. Jongin held his breath as he watched the scene before him. He watched as Seulgi smiled. Despite everything, Seulgi still smiled.

And it was finally time.

"Stop it." Jongin shook his head.

"Stop smiling, will you? Couldn't you at least show the slightest bit of remorse? There's a possibilty of you not coming back!"

"Don't give up on me, Jongin." Seulgi whispered.

"You're so annoying." Jongin bit his tongue as he supressed the tears threatening to fall.

"I have no time to die, Jongin. We'll both become doctors, so don't you dare break your promise."

Jongin held up his pinky and smiled as he watched her go into the restricted section of the room.

"I'll be back."

Seulgi stared right back at him and mouthed,

"Watch me."

5 years later

Jongin jogged lightly as the green grass beneath him made a sound. He held a graduation cap and a paper bag with a bouquet on the other hand.

"Yo Seulgi!"

He placed the cap at the top of her head and took out a piece of paper. He wrote her name on it and drew a little bear on the side.

"Here, hold this!" He shoved it to her and quickly brought out the bouquet he bought earlier and sat down cross legged on the freshly mowed grass.

"I haven't returned this to the committee yet so we better hurry or else I get to pay the late fee! I'm doing this for you, okay? Now cooperate!"

Jongin took a deep breath and made his hand into a fist to act like he spoke into a microphone.

"Upon the recommendation of me, Jongin Kim, the best boyfriend ever. I hereby confer upon you the degree, Doctor of Medicine. Congratulations!"

Jongin clapped his hands aggresively and brought out the food from the paper bag. He heaved a huge sigh as he lay on the grass and gazed upon the infinite sky.

"Man, for someone that had straight A's from pre-school until college, you sure took your time in graduating!"

It's been years since Seulgi passed away and on every occassion, Jongin made sure to include her on everything. He made sure that she will never be forgotten.

"The guys miss you. Even Yeri misses you, and you guys always bicker!"

And he missed her, terribly.

"I do. I miss you."

Jongin fell silent and sighed. The loneliness he felt for several years has consumed him once more. To have lost a friend and the person he treasured the most certainly took a toll on him. But as humans grieve when life is lost, life goes on and humans move on.

"I'm finally a doctor, Seulgi." Jongin placed the containers back in the paperbag and sighed as he sat up. "Watch me."