Chapter 1

Seungri fears that his time is up.

They were all standing in a straight line with their heads slightly bowed, a stance born out of respect and submission. Six boys and six racing hearts that could barely be contained were waiting in silence as the man that would decide their future gave cold assessments and criticisms about their skills and worth as a musical artist. Every compliment was followed by a scathing criticism and by this point in the program, the number of criticisms vastly outnumbered the compliments. They all knew that one of them was going to be eliminated that day and even though they were all rooting for each other, there was still an underlying sense of please, don’t let it be me.

Seungri wasn’t listening as President Yang continued down the row and began addressing them one by one, pointing out every single perceived fault of theirs and delivering only the occasional praise or word of encouragement. He couldn’t help but keep his head slightly bowed and his eyes on the floor. If he looked up, he’d be staring straight into the camera that has been with them for the majority of these final days of being a trainee. Seungri didn’t want to look directly into the camera: he has already garnered this negative image of being an arrogant attention seeker and he was afraid that any accidental glance towards the camera would later be edited in such a way that confirmed that negative image. He also didn’t want to come off as too prideful, though it was true that he had an incredible sense of confidence and self worth: that was just how he was as a person. 

Still, he was too scared of what the president was going to say to focus on anything. He was going to be one of the last ones to be evaluated, second to last only to Youngbae.

After delivering a scathing remark about Hyunseung’s facial expressions (or lack thereof) and the usual comment about Big Seunghyun’s stilted dancing, the president made a unusual criticism of Daesung’s singing in the last performance. He followed up with a pointed, but brief, remark about Jiyong’s leadership in the previous round and it made Seungri bristle inside a bit that Jiyong apparently had no other flaws worth mentioning.

It’s to be expected though, he reminded himself gently. They all knew that Jiyong and Youngbae were going to make it no matter what, that instead of actually picking out members for a five person group, they were really picking out three people to supplement Jiyong and Youngbae’s original duo. It was never said aloud in front of them, but they all knew it to be true.

Before he knew it, Yang Hyunsuk came to a stop in front of him.

His breathing quieted. 

“Little Seunghyun,” the man began ominously and Seungri’s heart just about stopped from his tone alone. “You were one of the ones I was most disappointed in during this last performance.”

Seungri gulped, but remained silent otherwise. 

“You’re the youngest and have a lot of potential yet, but your enthusiasm? Your energy on stage?” a hard set frown appeared on Yang Hyunsuk’s face. “Compared to everyone else, it was subpar.”

The words hit Seungri like a er punch to the gut.

“I’ll try harder,” he whispered in response. He was barely able to get the words out due to the frog in his throat. Even though he managed to say it, he couldn't disguise the slight tremble in his voice that further betrayed how badly the CEO's comment had jarred him. His words seemed to have little effect on what the older man had planned to say.

“The youngest is suppose to have the most energy. You’re less experienced than all of the other members, but what you lack in skill should be made up with enthusiasm,” Yang Hyunsuk went on. “What did I see up there? What do you think I saw up there on that stage?”

There was a pause, but this time Seungri wasn’t able to find a voice to contradict the man. It happened every time they gathered like this, all of the trainees grouped together for Yang Hyunsuk or the other YG seniors to offer their praise or criticisms. Seungri’s usual overflowing confidence was thrashed and he was made to feel so small and insignificant, he hated it.

“A lackluster performance is what I saw," the president said with a scowl, as if it was the most deplorable thing he has ever seen. "There was no passion in any of your movements, no drive. Do you even want to be on this team? Are you even trying?”

Yes. I do. I am. Seungri desperately answered inside of his head. Please. This time, he knew the questions were retorical. He held the silence, but couldn’t quite hold his composure as a few tears escaped from the corner of his eyes. 

With his evaluation apparently done, the president finally turned from Seungri to Youngbae.

Seungri released what he hoped to be a quiet sigh of relief. Even if it wasn't exactly quiet, by that point he didn't really care: he was just glad that the focus wasn’t on him anymore. He was expecting the criticisms of Youngbae to be short, just as they were for Jiyong, so he quickly started to think of something he could say to salvage himself. After the unexpectedly groundbreaking tear down, he had the heart sinking feeling that the person that was going to be eliminated from the final group was going to be him. He could already envision the reasoning: you’re talented, but young. You still have so much room for improvement, but it’s not going to be with this group. 

The whole training process had been a series of ups and downs. Some days he felt worthless, but other times he felt so hopeful after being praised and complimented, he could almost taste the day he would finally achieve the stardom that he so longed for. As his mind grasped for words, Seungri also made another decision. If he couldn’t persuade the CEO to give him another chance to prove his worth, he decided then and there that he wouldn’t get hung up about it and move on to find another avenue to pursue his dreams. He didn’t want to beg for his spot on the team, it would just be too pitiful to do so in front of his hyungs and in front of the cameras. He didn’t want his last impression to the public watching and cheering him on from their TVs to be pathetic, evening though he felt like he would give up almost anything and everything to have a second chance. 

Show them that you can and will do better, he thought. Show them that even if you don’t make it now, you will make it. Be ready. Be strong, he encouraged himself silently as he promised that his tears wouldn’t be shed for naught.

Finally, President Yang focused his attention onto Youngbae and began to speak.

“Youngbae,” Yang Hyun Suk drawled as he came to a stop in front of the boy with the eye brow piercing. Youngbae’s body stiffened as he realized that he was the one currently being addressed. “When did you start training with us?”

“Since I was twelve years old, sir,” Youngbae answered without hesitation. 

“We’ve spent so much time and energy on you,” CEO Yang continued, his eyes seemingly boring into Youngbae. “You’ve had ample opportunity to improve and grow as an artist.” Youngbae nodded slightly at this statement. It was the truth.

“So then tell me why,” the President asked, “why is it that Little Seunghyun, the one who has had the least training out of all of you, has improved more than you have in these last few weeks?”

Silence. It felt like the entire room was suddenly devoid of oxygen. Everyone was in such a state of shock that not a single sound could be heard. Jiyong was so stunned that he even lifted his head from its bowed position briefly as if he couldn't quite believe what was being said. No one had expected this sudden turn of events after Seungri’s public tongue lashing.

Youngbae gulped and held back a shuddering breath. 

“Perhaps you thought that you’d be safe, considering how long you’ve been with us. Maybe that has made you complacent,” President Yang continued. “ How can you be struggling this much when you and Jiyongie have been here the longest?”

It was a retorical question, but even if it wasn't, there was no way that Youngbae could find the words to respond. His mouth became incredibly dry and the weight of Yang Hyunsuk's words hung over him preventing him from even raising his head. As the president continued to speak, Youngbae kept his head bowed so low, his chin was practically stuck to his chest.

“It’s true that Little Seunghyun has a lot to learn. He might not be as skilled as you are now, but I’m not judging you based on talent or skill alone: I’m judging you based on what qualities you can contribute to the group as a whole. To be frank...”

And that’s when the audio tuned out for Youngbae. It was like he had suddenly lost the ability to understand spoken language and his brain took twice as long to decipher what was being said to him. Slowly, he was able to pick up on a few key phrases and sentences.

You have so much talent...but so little to offer the group.

Seunghyun is a talented rapper.

Daesung and Hyunseung will cover the main vocals.

Maknae can dance and he has the drive and potential needed to push the group further.

And Jiyong will be the leader, the ace. He’s our jack of all trades.

Eventually, it dawned on him. The realization came far too late, but it sent a chill down his spine all the same. Youngbae was being told that there was no room for him here, that the skills he had worked so hard to develop had no place in a group that only needed five members.

”I had high hopes for you, Youngbae, I really did. It pains me to say this, and believe me, it truly does, but...”

By that point, everyone knew exactly what was going to be said next. No, Youngbae thought as he closed his eyes and waited for those fateful, final words.

“Youngbae. You’ve been selected for elimination.”