There’s something about the way Saeron looks tonight that has you both breathless and awestruck, as you watch her descend the stairs of her childhood home.

 

She’s donning the Mickey Mouse shirt you gave her for her birthday about five years ago, the one that’s still a size too big on her and hangs loosely around her body.

 

You’re kind of surprised that the colors haven’t faded yet, and that the shirt still looks quite new. But you’re glad too, because it also looks like it’s never been not worn.

 

That must mean that she still takes good care of it, right? And you also know she’s used it before, because you’ve seen her wear it a couple of times in the past.

 

It kind of dwarfs her already petite frame, but it also makes her even more adorable nonetheless, and you’re glad that she decided to go with it for your outing tonight.

 

She’s wearing comfortable track pants, just as you’ve suggested over the phone earlier, and her favorite pair of running shoes. Her face is devoid of any makeup and her hair is pulled back into a tie, but to you, she’s still the most beautiful girl in the world no matter how simple her getup is.

 

Your gaze locks with hers as soon as she steps foot on the last step of the stairs, and the smile that blooms across her lips is enough to light up the embers of adoration in your heart.

 

Your feelings for her have been dormant for so long that you’re taken aback by its intensity now. And so, you’re kind of left feeling lost at how it was triggered by a smile from her alone.

 

“Hey,” you say breathlessly once she’s finally standing before you, and you’re left speechless for a while as you let your gaze roam over her features.

 

It’s been years. You’ve missed looking at her. You’ve missed getting lost in her gaze. You’ve missed her.

 

From the corner of your eyes, you can see her mother and father peeking at the two of you from the kitchen. And it suddenly makes you nervous to know that her parents are watching. Ever since she left, you haven’t visited the older couple once.

 

And it was not without trying. But this house has been a source of painful memories when the two of you parted ways, that you never had the courage to return until today.

 

“Hey, Yerim,” she greets back, a warm smile on her lips and her eyes twinkling in mirth.

 

She’s glowing, and you feel like you’re being blinded by her light, yet you don’t mind. You bask in her brightness, because your world had been lifeless and dull without her in it.

 

You missed seeing her this close and this happy, and now that you’re with her, you’re not gonna deny yourself this desire to just take in and appreciate everything that you’ve missed about her.

 

Silence reigns over the two of you when you refrain from saying anything after her greeting. The air is getting thick with tension as the two of you engage in a stare off, neither one of you daring to look away.

 

It’s been four years since she left the country to pursue her dream of being a lawyer, and now that she’s realized that dream, she’s finally returned home.

 

You were lounging on your couch back at your unit when you received her call to meet up. You were in disbelief initially, that one of her first thoughts after coming back was to invite you out to dinner.

 

Because, as much as it pains you to admit, the two of you didn’t really separate on good terms. But after denying to yourself that you’ve missed her all these years, it didn’t really take you a lot of convincing to agree.

 

And now, here you are, standing before her as the two of you studied each other’s faces after so long. She hasn’t changed much physically – she’s still the same height, still the same frame, still the same beautiful face – but you know that she’s changed during the four years that she was gone.

 

You can see it in the way she moves. You can see it in that very unfamiliar twinkle in her eyes. You can hear it in the lilt of her voice.

 

Feeling like your heart’s about to burst out of your chest if you stare into her eyes any longer, you’re the first to look away as you stuff your hands into your pants’ pockets while avoiding her gaze.

 

You can feel your cheeks warming up as the sound of her soft chuckle reaches your ears, and the only thing that goes through your mind is the thought of how you missed her so.

 

“Shall we, Yerim?” she asks as she reaches a hand out towards you.

 

You can only nod in response as you take her offered hand, letting her lead you out of the house with a quick shout of “bye!” to her parents on the way. Once outside, at the porch, she stops which makes you stop in your tracks as well.

 

There’s that familiar smile on her lips, the one that you first fell in love with all those moons ago, albeit appearing a bit shaky. It’s then that you realize that you’re not the only one nervous about this outing. But unlike you, she’s pushing her uncertainty aside and trying her best to extend an olive branch.

 

With a sigh, you finally manage to reply with a smile of your own. And gathering all of the remaining courage in your body, you intertwine your fingers with hers as you gently squeeze her hand.

 

The smile that she sends your way is enough to obliterate all the remaining doubts in your mind and heart.

 

“Where do you want to go?” you ask.

 

Saeron smiles again, this time a tad playful, as she gives your hand a squeeze back. “Surprise me, Kim Yerim,” she answers, before she’s off dragging you towards your car.

 

**********

 

The night air is cool to the touch, but it’s not too cold that you’d have to seek the warmth of a jacket or shawl. The windows of your car are rolled down, the cool breeze hitting your skin as you drive.

 

Saeron’s sitting shotgun beside you, her gaze pinned on the view outside as the radio plays soft melodies in the background. It’s almost eleven in the evening, and you’re still out driving around town because she doesn’t want to head back home yet.

 

After dinner, she managed to coax you into a late-night road trip with no particular destination in mind. You’re not surprised though, because you’ve always been weak-willed when it came to her.

 

It’s been thirty minutes of mindless driving, and you’re about to make a turn at the intersection to head back to her home, when you remember a certain place the two of you frequented ever since the two of you were little kids.

 

Taking a left turn instead of the right, a smile tugs at your lips as you get this fluttering feeling in your chest. It’s been a while. You can only hope that not much has changed during the four years that you haven’t visited.

 

It doesn’t take long – just around five minutes to be exact – before you’re pulling over at the parking lot of the family park where the two of you met for the very first time all those years ago. You were only seven then, and she, six.

 

This place is packed with memories for the two of you, both good and bad. You see Saeron quickly turning towards you when she finally realizes where you’ve taken her, and your smile widens when you see the surprised expression on her face.

 

You can only hope that she doesn’t mind that this is where you took her.

 

“Since this is the first time that we’re meeting after four years, I figured it’s only right to bring you here – where we met for the very first time almost twenty years ago,” you explain even before she can ask.

 

You then unbuckle your seatbelt, before reaching over the console to unbuckle her seatbelt for her.

 

The two of you alight your car at the same time and you round the vehicle to Saeron’s side, so you can walk together towards your bench underneath the oldest tree at that park.

 

You’re pleasantly surprised to find out that your bench is still there even though its wood is obviously weathered. You don’t mind though, because at least it hasn’t been removed.

 

The park, although looking like it's just been recently renovated, still mostly looks the same as it did the last time you were here. Suddenly feeling a little nostalgic, you walk towards the bench and take a seat, with Saeron following your lead.

 

The wood creaks as the two of you take a seat, and you can’t help but run your fingers over the spot where you carved out the letters Y and S a little over ten years ago.

 

The place is quiet save for the rustling of trees and the occasional chirping of insects. The silence this time around is not as stifling, and you find yourself relaxing as you feel Saeron scooting closer to you.

 

It’s like you’re being brought back to the past, before all the drama and heartache, during the time when you were both still young, still happy, still in love.

 

Nothing has changed with your feelings though, for your heart has always belonged to Saeron and Saeron alone. You have tried a couple of times before, going out on dates that is.

 

But they always ended up with you feeling like a horrible person because you kept comparing all of those past dates with her. It eventually came to a point that you just ended up accepting that maybe you’re not destined to fall in love with anyone else but her.

 

Now, sitting at this park bench where everything started for the two of you, and years after being separated and feeling like your soul had been ripped in half, you finally feel whole again. Your chest aches with the desire to hold her in your arms, to hold her close, to never ever let go again.

 

“Hey, Yerim?” she calls out after a while, bringing you out of your musings.

 

You hum, but otherwise keep your gaze locked on the starry night sky. You do, however, reach over to take her hand and hold it in yours.

 

“Did you ever regret it? Letting go, I mean.”

 

The question manages to make you turn to look at her, and you feel your heart melt when your gazes meet. She’s so beautiful, is the first thought that comes to your mind, before you shake yourself from your Saeron-induced daze.

 

There’s this fleeting sadness in your heart as you recall everything that happened four years ago, of the fight that led to the two of you ultimately deciding to just go your own ways.

 

It was painful, you’re not gonna lie, and it took you years to be even remotely okay again. You drowned in your pain, heartbreak, sadness, regret over letting go of her, and of your relationship, so easily.

 

It even took both Seulgi, Joy, Jisoo and Lisa literally dragging you just to get you out of your house, since you decided to lock yourself home in your misery.

 

And then one day you just woke up and realized that you didn’t want to be sad and heartbroken anymore.

 

It took a whole lot of effort, determination, and help from your best friends, but you were able to get back on your feet and move forward.

 

“Yeah, I did at first,” you finally answer, tearing your gaze away to look up at the moon. Her stare is too intense you can’t keep on looking. It kind of unnerves you. Sighing, you continue.

 

“I felt like I was losing you, y’know, during those months leading to your departure. It has always been the two of us, ever since we were kids, and I kind of hated and feared the thought of not having you by my side anymore.

 

It also didn’t help that we weren’t able to spend as much time as we liked with each other. However, I did regret the way we ended things. I’ve regretted a whole lot of things these past four years, and one of them was not being understanding enough of your dreams and letting you walk away easily.”

 

You pause to take a deep breath, closing your eyes as memories of the past cause this dull ache in your chest as you remember once more. You let yourself reminisce again, and you let yourself feel the nostalgia accompanying all these memories.

 

The feel of Saeron squeezing your hand makes you open your eyes to look at her again. There is a pained smile on her lips, one that makes your heart clench uncomfortably, so you reach with your unoccupied hand to poke at her cheek.

 

“Hey, why the sad look? It’s okay. I’m okay now. I’ve had a lot of time to think and ponder about our situation after we broke up, and I’ve made quite a lot of realizations ever since. One of the realizations I had is that I owe you an apology.

 

I'm so sorry for all the hurtful words I've said to you that night. Though I never meant any of them, they still fell from my lips and hurt you. So I’m very sorry, Saeron.”

 

The smile on Saeron’s lips turns fond as she rubs soothing patterns against the back of your hand with her thumb.

 

“I’m sorry too, you know,” she starts, as she tightens her hold on your hand. “I’m sorry for all the hurt that I’ve caused you. I’m sorry for breaking your heart and your trust.”

 

“It’s okay. What’s past is past. We can’t turn back time. The important thing here is that we’ve both learned from our mistakes and we’ve grown as individuals since then.

 

Besides, you wouldn’t be this happy having achieved your dreams had you stayed. The only thing that should matter now is that we have to forgive each other and ourselves. That way, we can finally let go and move on.”

 

“I’ve forgiven you a long time ago, Yerim. Because I know you, and I knew that you never really meant all the things that you’ve said.”

 

“And I have forgiven you too. It took me a while to realize, but I have forgiven you even before you left. I guess I was just blinded by my pain and anger, but I never did hate you for leaving, Saeron.

 

You were important to me. You still are important to me. And I’m glad you decided to follow your dreams and achieve all the success you have now. I’m so, so happy for you. And I honestly mean it.”

 

Silence reigns over the two of you as you get lost in each other’s gazes. Saeron really has the most beautiful, expressive eyes you’ve ever seen, and oh how you’ve missed getting lost in them.

 

You feel your heart overflow with the love you’ve always had for this girl, and you have this strong urge to just pull her close and kiss her senseless.

 

Saeron must’ve read your mind because she reaches out and pulls you into a tight hug, burying her face against the crook of your neck. You rest your cheek against the top of her head as you return the hug just as tight, breathing in her familiar scent which never failed to bring you comfort and warmth.

 

“I missed you, Yerim,” she mumbles against your skin as she tightens her hold on you.

 

“I missed you too. Hey Saeron?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

Sighing, you try to hype yourself as you gather enough courage to tell her the words you’ve been longing to say ever since you saw her again earlier. You’re nervous, your heart is beating like crazy, and you feel like it’s going to burst if you won’t be able to tell her soon.

 

“Nothing much has changed you know. I’m still very much in love with you even after all these years.”

 

Saeron pulls away from the hug to look at you, her lips set in a straight line as she looks at you intently. You can only smile unsurely as you scratch the back of your neck awkwardly.

 

This is kind of not the reaction you’ve been expecting, and it makes you anxious because your confession just might end up in a rejection in this case.

 

But then she breaks out into a huge smile, one that’s so bright and pretty that it makes you fall in love all over again.

 

“That’s good to know then. Because I’m still very much in love with you too, Ms. Kim Yerim.”