Sana knows what bull she’s gotten herself into, her hopes skyrocketing once again, and God does she want her friends to ​actually ​ slap reality into her brain. Sana won’t listen to her friends. Three years? That’s enough time for her to get over her feelings with Dahyun. Did she listen? Tried to. Saw the signs? Yes, all warning signs.

And as Sana always tells herself: ​at least she tried and that’s what matters.

Yet despite time and experience, Sana is with her friends waiting on Dahyun and the others to arrive at the university field. Music is booming, live bands performing song after song, and it doesn’t help Sana forget.  

They’ve been here before, where she first met Dahyun who was assigned to take coverage of the musical festival organized by the student council, and she’s here again because of Dahyun. It was a friendly invitation to go to the music festival together and have a couple of drinks after (or maybe during if they get passed red cups). Knowing Dahyun, it is as harmless and out of pure genuine interest to spend time with her friends.

But it’s Sana. Warning signs won’t stop her.

There is that feeling that only the live band performance makes Sana feel the way she does, the bass gets her heart pumping, the vocals that echoes, the crowd all bundled up together swaying side to side in rhythm to the beat, their hands up in the air to follow the music, some with their eyes closed singing along. The music festival always feels like home to Sana.

Serenity washes over her the same time the wind hits past her face.

Jihyo comes over with drinks in hand. She hands Nayeon her cup then to Sana, sitting beside her watching over the on-going music festival.

“Is Dahyun on her way?” Jihyo asks, looking over at the field where the whole music festival is seated.

Jihyo doesn’t get the same feeling when it comes to the music festival the way Sana does. The blonde insists that they get tickets to get inside, they would of course. It’s okay for Jihyo, she could watch the barricade bound festival inside or just stay where they are now, the elevated part of the university field where students also crowd around and cozies themselves with picnic blankets to watch the on-going performances from the outside. But for Sana, she has to be inside, be with the crowd.

Just like any other year that they’ve been here, accompanying Sana is more of a job now in case she gets in trouble. The one that reads heartbreak and feels of salty tears streaming down her face.

“She hasn’t called me yet,” Sana answers and then checks her phone if there were any missed notifications from Dahyun. Unfortunately, there’s none.

“So,” Nayeon shifts beside Sana, quickly sipping on her drink. “Are we drinking after the festival?”

Jihyo snorts. “Is that even a question? We’ll be passed red cups inside and be drunk even before the last performance.”

“You drinking any, Sana?” Nayeon nudges her friend that could only stare at her mobile phone.

Sana perks up and answers, “The last time I drank, it didn’t go well.”

 Nayeon laughs. “Will it ever? ​Besides,” Nayeon hints at a certain someone with a not so good drunk reputation around Sana.

Sana rolls her eyes at the obvious comment and retorts, “Shut up! We all know it’s not the first time!”

“That’s exactly the thing why we’re here with you! ​She ​always acts like that around you when she’s drunk, Sana! God you are dumb.” Nayeon retorts making faces at her hopeless friend.

“Big mouth!” Sana attacks.

“Useless gay.”

“Toe nail teeth!”

“ why are you so obsessed with my mouth?”

“You started it, Nayeon.”

Nayeon ignores Sana then.  She pulls her phone out and declares, “Whatever I’m calling Dahyun. I hate waiting.”

When the call gets through and Nayeon hears the familiar voice as she says hello, she asks her where the hell Dahyun is because the sun is starting to go down which also means the bands playing next are getting better than the previous one. As the saying goes: save best for the last. They get the information that Dahyun and the rest of their friends are around the field, probably a five-minute walk until they spot the three of them sitting at the upper grounds of the field.

“Sana misses you get over here fast.” Nayeon ends the call before Dahyun could respond back, only to find a tinted Sana beside her fanning herself.

“Like her that much?” Nayeon teases.

“Get away from me, Nayeon!”

That’s how Nayeon started running away from Sana, flipping the finger as she does so, only to bump into Momo who’s with her set of friends looking like they’re fresh from the shower. ​Soccer athletes. Must be tiring. (But Nayeon thinks Momo smells good and would probably want a quick thing later tonight.)

 “Oh my god,” Nayeon gasps and bows in sincere apology. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to bump into you.”

As the scene unravels in front of Sana, she rolls her eyes and mutters something along the lines of Nayeon being a hypocrite around someone they like.

That’s when she sees Dahyun rounding up the corner with Chaeyoung and her tall friend Tzuyu. It’s an automatic bodily response for Sana to smile the wildest and run towards her favorite junior, a little too excited and glad to see Dahyun when she’s seen her last week. But it’s Sana, and it’s Dahyun. She has her favorites and it shows.

“Someone’s excited to see Dahyun,” Chaeyoung chirps at Dahyun, seeing Sana’s figure running towards her friend.

“It’s Sana, what do you expect?” Tzuyu adds joining the snickering Chaeyoung.

Dahyun catches Sana when she launches herself into her direction, trudging backwards because of the weight crash, Dahyun plants herself down and firmly holds onto Sana’s waist to keep them steady.

Sana and Dahyun are your typical couple (of friends) who enjoy each other’s presence, one is passive and the other is most likely to be outgoing. And it’s established among their friends that Sana is the assertive one, the clingiest compared to Kim Dahyun that is all about peace and friendship.

Naturally they’d make a good couple the only vendetta that they have towards Dahyun is that her actions always contradict between her two states that are sober and drunk. Sober Dahyun meant harmless and friendly interactions, the good friend that looks out for everyone. Then they have Drunk Dahyun, a complete transformation that involves not only slurring her words but latching herself onto Minatozaki Sana, the hopeless friend that’s been in love with the photographer for years now.

Drunk Dahyun has her limitations though. Unfortunately for Sana, there has not been a single course of intimate action between the two of them and she’s proud to admit to her friends that she’s disappointed. Drunk Dahyun is the ultimate charmer, slurred yet smooth in her talk. The sweetest she could ever be. And Sana knows that shouldn’t be Dahyun’s selling point for her because Dahyun has a lot of charms to her when she’s sober.

(But Sana is not a liar. She loves it when Drunk Dahyun latches herself on her.)

They all round up in a circle quickly giving each other side hugs and greetings before heading in where the source of music is coming from. Jihyo snickers when Momo and her friends are walking with their group, an obvious indication that Im Nayeon is out and about to get Momo down with her. Then she looks at Sana who was clearly invested in whatever story Dahyun is telling them, hopes that she could be as thick skinned as Nayeon.

Diving head first sometimes does the trick.

Dahyun and Sana are cute. But the thing about relationships and going beyond the line of friendship, it’s more than just giving the other the heart eyes and in a breath from how attractive someone is. A relationship could be formed within seconds, the same with it breaking and acting as if the two of you are strangers. And it certainly won’t go anywhere when all you do is keep it to yourself, that, Minatozaki Sana is an expert in.

No amount of obvious affection would land her a relationship with Dahyun if she doesn’t get it out there: that she likes her and maybe ask her out for a date at that overly populated café somewhere around the university belt.

Sana’s friends could only do so much for the girl and her hopelessness to the photographer.

Eventually as the festival rocked on they managed to push and squeeze themselves to the front row at the barricades where the life of the party is at. Red cups, rainbow glow sticks bracelets that can fit your head, people swaying side to side with their hand in the air, that kind. They are no stranger to these things especially when the first two cups are their gateway to lock their shy skin and let their brazen selves do its thing.

For Nayeon, it’s pressing up her body against Momo and she’s lucky enough because the soccer player reciprocates the action. (But Jihyo believes that Nayeon can do just that even without the alcohol.)

Then at the side where Sana resides seeming to be in a deep haze as the tunes fill her ears and let it take over her senses, being able to watch Dahyun enjoy the same music is enough. (Jihyo thinks she can do better than that.)

Every year Sana has this twinkling eyes, it’s not the casual stars in her eyes when Dahyun is around, more like sees everything beyond that Dahyun is – that in her travel through the dark space there comes a time that she will have to stop because she’s finally found Dahyun. Sana is no astronaut, no spaceship to maneuver in space, but moments like this she gets lost in her.

Jihyo leans in and shouts loud enough for Sana to hear, “Nayeon wants out, time to go drink!”

“Already?” She shouts back.

Jihyo nods and points back at the two who are unashamed from the overly public display of affection. “I don’t want them making a scene in here so meet us back at the exit!”

Sana turns to Dahyun, surprised that the photographer has set her eyes already.

“It’s juice time!” Sana shouts.

Dahyun leans dangerously close and says over the loud music, “Come again?”

“We’re leaving! They said to meet them at the exit!”

“Already?”

Sana shares the same sentiment. Drinking could wait but knowing her friends, it’s either now or never.

They make way through the sweaty bodies and piercing eyes whenever they accidentally bump each other, not that Sana isn’t being careful but she’s totally nervous having to hold Dahyun’s hand as she leads them out of the crowd and to the exit where the rest are waiting for them.

“Whose car are we crashing?” asks Sana, searching the place for any more familiar faces that would tag along with them.

“Jeongyeon’s driving and by the looks of it Nayeon is already in the car with Momo.”

Her face contorts in confusion. “Jeongyeon?”

“Momo’s friend and don’t worry they have Mina with them too. She’s watching over Jeongyeon and Momo since she doesn’t drink that much.”

“Get in,” says Jihyo as she presses open the automatic on her Mitsubishi. Tzuyu takes the passenger seat while Chaeyoung grumbles at the middle seat trying to win over Tzuyu so they can switch places.

Sana sits in between Chaeyoung and Dahyun, the perfect place to lean over the compartment and plug her phone in for a quick playlist.

“Your song choice always baffles me Sana. How can you put Queen and Mariah consecutively in your playlist? Seriously it’s like having gay and then gay but it’s Christmas with high notes on the side.” Chaeyoung having heard Sana’s playlist a couple of times already, she snatches her phone away and scrolls down the playlist.

“You say that like you have with Queen and Mariah playing in the background.”

Tzuyu snickers, “Don’t give her any ideas she’s going to try it out.”

“Oh shut up,” Chaeyoung retorts rolling her eyes.

“She’s a little bit weird,” Tzuyu says with a eating grin on her face. “But still cool.”

“Sure Tzuyu,” says Chaeyoung in sarcasm.

“But you’re not denying?” speaks Dahyun ever since they climbed onto their seats, eyebrows wiggling suggestively at her best friend.

“Oh now you know how to talk!”

These are the moments before accidents happen. And by accidents, Sana means the unforgiving truth that later when they get drunk (Dahyun being the first one since she’s lightweight compared to the rest) she will have to deal with Dahyun. And during that moment all her friends could do is clink their glasses up in sad ceremony of another night dedicated to Sana’s frail and hopeless heart.

Drunk Dahyun is a sweetheart, proven and experienced by Minatozaki Sana a handful of times already. As much as she loves how sweet and endearing Dahyun’s words are, they mean nothing the next morning when she wakes up with a sober mind and a hangover for her friends to tend to.

Sana heavily believes that the world is cruel for giving Dahyun to her whenever she’s drunk. That past all the hugs, a kiss that would make them regret drinking (thankfully that has not happened yet), the whisper of sweet slurs against her ear, Sana in little hopes that maybe Dahyun feels the same towards her. Believes that drunk words are sober thoughts, one that could only be said under the influence of alcohol. But Sana knows she lives in a harsh reality.

While the place is open and gives its patron the sense of being free and able, Sana starts her torturous night with Dahyun downing her fifth shot, courtesy of Nayeon before she gives her full attention to Momo. They drink for fun, no harm done because they all know their limits. With Sana’s limit being that hopeless person that takes care of Kim Dahyun when she’s reached her capacity at drinking – hazy and lidded eyes blinking up at her and a smile that could both mean everything and nothing.

“Told you,” Nayeon sneers pointing a finger at Sana as if to make her feel even worse. They’re friends and Nayeon is more than willing to slap reality into Sana’s face to stop her heart from breaking. You know, that’s what friends do. “People like Dahyun are the dangerous kind, acts all aloof and harmless but when the alcohol strikes you’re gonna have to think twice if their intentions are true to begin with.”

“Don’t you feel sorry for yourself Sana?” asks Nayeon because she won’t give a single care tonight knowing that Dahyun won’t remember any of this. It’s more of front stabbing than backstabbing her, if that’s even a thing.

“You give a part of yourself to someone unconscious of what’s happening around her, doesn’t know how she is hurting you – and you, you just keep leading yourself and it’s not even Dahyun’s fault that you do.”

“Momo can you shut her up, thanks.” A scowl makes its way out, brows knitted together while she pierces Nayeon with her imaginary knives.

Nayeon pushes Momo’s face away and continues, “If you’re going to hurt yourself like this do yourself one favor and pretend that Dahyun won’t have the guts to ever feel the same way as you. Might as well wear yourself out until it’s time for you to stop and give it a rest.”

Jihyo has not expected Nayeon tonight when usually the girl would be the one to poke fun at Sana, be the first to get totally wasted before she could on Sana and Dahyun – before things get out of hand. But one thing is for sure, Nayeon has had a lot of experience when it comes to the stupidest thing called love.

“So which one would you like tonight? Take Dahyun home and nurse her or be the punching bag of sweet nothing?”

“I prefer it if you shut your mouth before I pull your toe nail teeth out,” Sana hisses – close to baring her own set of teeth.

“Ah,” Nayeon leans back and falls into Momo’s embrace. “You’ve chosen death, I see.”

Nayeon claps like a madman, laughing while she’s at it. “Very well if that’s what you want, put on a good show for us tonight Sana!”

Had Dahyun not been clinging onto her she would’ve been an inch away from slapping Nayeon out of the alcohol. But Dahyun has latched herself onto Sana, head buried at the junction of her neck and shoulder oblivious to the outburst of her surroundings. She snuggles closer to Sana, inhaling the faint perfume that she supposes is from Jo Malone or was it Victoria’s Secret? Whatever it was, Dahyun likes it nonetheless.

“I had this assignment before,” Dahyun starts despite the ringing in her head – and gosh does that feel heavy! “Had to cover for the music festival, easy because photography is kind of my thing. But then this girl comes up at me and I just had to take a photo of her, so I did.”

She giggles before continuing her story. “Council got mad and confused why I sent them pictures of a girl instead of the event, turns out I messed up organizing my files.”

“And who would that girl be Dahyun?” Jihyo asks the absentminded girl, lost in space and consumed by alcohol.

“Sana.” She says it like Sana makes her all giggly and shy and happy. “Do you want a copy? I can email them to you if you want!”

“Maybe some other time Dahyun.” Jihyo responds to close the conversation.

Dahyun pouts. “You don’t want pictures of Sana? She looks beautiful in them! I don’t even have to pull major Lightroom edits to make it look like a movie still! I have a couple more shots of Sana,” and off is Dahyun giggling to herself.

“She’s not going to remember any of this, will she?” Sana particularly asks no one in their group.

They all shrug and Nayeon says, “You will. Us too, probably, if we don’t get too wasted.”

Dahyun is a lightweight. A fact proven and experienced by them a handful of times already. Dahyun is not drunk enough to be a wobbly drunkard later on the streets but Dahyun is drunk enough to be unconscious and at the same time sober with her thoughts. Sana included.

Sana finds herself trailing behind Dahyun, leaving their boisterous group behind to chat and drink to themselves, afraid that Dahyun might get herself in trouble in a state she’s not capable of handling herself. Always the unseen and unappreciated hero.

Under the dim and flickering light of the back alley, Dahyun has a smile that could disarm Sana anytime she wants.

“The bathroom is inside,” she says as she points back at the door. “Do you need help?”

In her eyes, at least, Dahyun looks as though she is unstable, the tint of her cheeks glow faintly under the light, shoulders sagged as if free from the world’s burden and free from the fixated gaze Sana is striking her with.

Dahyun inhales the cold air, slowly, and then releases it audibly as she leans onto the wall next to the door of the back alley. She can hear the loud music vibrate through the door.

“You’re sobering up now?” Sana takes a step closer to Dahyun yet maintaining a reasonable distance between them. Just in case she won’t be able to resist herself from bringing Dahyun to her arms.

Dahyun wags her head side to side.

Sana takes her well, believing at the very least that this will not be part, in any way, of Dahyun’s memory. The stakes are always high whenever Drunk Dahyun is around, whenever Sana can’t seem to take her eyes off Dahyun and they both are locked onto each other. However for the remainder of the night Dahyun doesn’t tell Sana much of how conscious her thoughts are contrary to her actions. They all seem to bypass every gate and lock that Dahyun has used over the years to keep important things to herself.

“Do you want a copy of your pictures, Sana? They’re beautiful even without going through post editing - remember that music festival we met? You’re beautiful just like that, even now that I can’t see you properly I still think that you are.”

Sana listens and convinces herself it’s the drunk talk. It’s always the drunk talk with Dahyun.

“You want to know what the council asked me after scolding me for my mistake?” Dahyun giggles. “They asked me if you were my girlfriend. Strangely, I thought of answering that you are but that won’t be right so I told them instead: I’d like her to become mine. Tzuyu and Chaeyoung told me how much of a coward I am,” Dahyun sighs in the middle of what seems to be the cause why Sana is holding her breath.

“Time really tells, you know. Three years and I’m still here, a friend of yours.”

“You’re drunk,” says Sana hopelessly. Sober Dahyun would never anyway, not anytime soon. So to deny but to still accept this Dahyun to some extent is much tolerable for Sana than nothing.

She nods. “I am but not quite. You don’t like it when I’m drunk, don’t you? I hate it too. I’m drunk but I can’t bring myself to tell you what I want even after three years. Do you think it’s too late for me to say it?”

“Tell me about it,” Sana laughs at herself, three years of suffering the same faith as Dahyun. “I don’t think late even exists in my vocabulary.”

“It doesn’t?”

“I don’t think so. After all, I am still waiting.”

Dahyun sighs out of relief, and just like magic cold air blows and it helps her wash the haziness out of her system, a bit lighter than she was. Clearer the beautiful person is in front of her though she is not sure what is the exact cause why a frown taints Sana’s face.

“What is that you want to tell me?”

“Hey Sana-”

Jihyo pops out from the back, urgency laced in her voice as if there’s no time for them to continue. “Time to go home. Chaeyoung’s asking for a ride, come on.”

Dahyun sets herself off from the wall, hands stuffed into her pockets, she follows behind Sana and Jihyo back to the car. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu are already inside sitting beside each other with Chaeyoung resting her head on the taller girl’s shoulder, drowsy and drained from all the commotion that Nayeon alone had caused back inside.

“Sit on the passenger it’ll help you on the way,” says Sana as she climbs the car, occupying the last space next to Chaeyoung.

Neither talked much to each other. Only Jihyo was sneaking glances at Sana through the rear mirror, occasionally motioning her eyes as if to tell Sana to check on Dahyun that’s solely attached to the side of the car. Sana does and her heart picks up. Through the reflection from the car window, she sees Dahyun looking back at her. They seem to fade and flicker each time they pass by a traffic light or a lamp post and somehow even through the seconds of it sees Dahyun a little clearer unmistakably watching her.

Sadly, she knows that this Dahyun will be gone when tomorrow comes and all that she will be left with is bitter memory - Dahyun was almost there. Sana could’ve heard what she wanted, willing to take anything, any sliver of hope and confirmation that Dahyun feels the same. They were almost there.

Sana is the last one to be dropped off. When Jihyo pulls the break and it stops right in front of Dahyun’s apartment it is another goodbye. Sana watches Dahyun unbuckle her belt, the clank and pull telling her that Dahyun is about to leave. The door shuts off and she finds Jihyo looking at her through the rear mirror, pitiful.

“I disturbed something back there didn’t I?”

She frowns and covers her face using both of her hands. “I just - I think it will never come Jihyo. Drunk words are sober thoughts my when all Nayeon does when she’s drunk is lie and show off. Have I mentioned that you also say unimaginable things when you’re drunk? I know you’ve told me a million times already to quit it but every time I try to, Dahyun just gives off stupid signals and I can’t help but take them without caution.”

“No but I’m taking accountability for ruining the moment back there. I agree with Nayeon that in this mess of yours you’re the one to blame. But hear me out and take this with a grain of salt, Sana. Consistency is key whether it be you procrastinating most of your papers or Dahyun’s drunken state that knows nothing but you. That maybe in every shot she takes is an attempt to take away this part of her that shies away when she’s sober. That maybe every time that she doesn’t, she almost does.”

Sana tears her hands off only to sink and lie down on the middle seat. She only hears and feels the quiet vibration of the car and it is as though the universe is telling her that only she can solve her own problem.

Jihyo retreats her gaze away from Sana to Dahyun walking up to the front door fumbling with her keys.

“Why don’t you go help her out? I’ll be at the convenience store ahead and if you don’t call after 10 minutes or so I’m taking it as something good.”

Sana shifts to the other side and rolls the window down, even from afar she can see Dahyun struggling to get the key in.

“I’ll call you before 10 minutes is up,” Sana says as she unlocks the door.

Jihyo snickers and says, “I hope you don’t.”

As always, Sana never lets the signs stop her from being with Dahyun. Like it’s permanently engraved inside her head that no matter what approach she takes it from, there will always be an exchange of pain. And maybe tears with a runny nose.

Her keys are taken away from her, she looks up and finds Sana fumbling with her keys. The door clicks open after a few failed attempts of eeny, meeny, miny, moe with the keys. After what seems to be an eerie silence in the elevator ride, Sana fumbles again with Dahyun’s keys.

“We could be here until the sun rises,” Dahyun slurs. The ride home did not help her.

“I’m blaming your drunk Dahyun.”

Dahyun shrugs carelessly. She leans onto the wall next to her door, watching Sana be troubled by her sets of jiggling keys.

“I’m kinda drunk.” Dahyun confirms then silently laughs at Sana’s misfortune with her lock. “So, uh, are you staying the night?”

Sana looks at Dahyun straight in the eyes and declares, “Yup, you are drunk.” then goes back to dealing with Dahyun’s door. Why is it so impossible to get her door open? Sana grunts after another failed attempt.

“The offer still stands as long as I am, you know, drunk. I can’t possibly ask you to stay when I’m sober and my usual self. Drunk Dahyun has its advantages too and I kinda want you to jump on the ride with me.”

“I prefer clingy Dahyun than talkative Dahyun, less trouble and promises.”

“Clingy Dahyun is a nuisance, Sana. All action, no accountability. Talkative Dahyun however, you can count on her.”

Sana chimes with, “Both are drunk and that doesn’t assure me anything.”

“Will Sober Dahyun assure you?”

Sana stops to look at Dahyun, defeated. “I don’t think she will either.”

The good thing that Sana considers out of this is because Dahyun won’t remember a single thing about their conversation and that this is drunk talk. There’s no offence taken and their words have no weight and meaning. They may have entered danger territory earlier but Sana believes that Dahyun has long forgotten about that encounter.

Besides, Clingy Dahyun is better in not putting Sana in a compromising situation wherein she starts to doubt herself if Dahyun is even worth the pain for. Clingy Dahyun is the escape from reality that transcends her into a new one wherein they securely hold each other and that Sana gets to drown herself in Dahyun’s hollow whispers of sweet nothings. At least Clingy Dahyun makes her temporarily forget that after the night is over, she is left with nothing.

Talkative Dahyun is a constant reminder to Sana that maybe (just maybe) drunk words are sober thoughts especially when Dahyun looks at her and she finds nothing but focus and that mysterious glimmer in her eyes. But their common denominator is that Sana has nothing to hold onto once this is all over. She’s played herself once again.

“It’s already 3 AM, Dahyun. Why the hell are your keys not working? Do I have to check in with the landlord for the spare key or something?”

Sana bends a little to check on Dahyun, raising her chin to see clearly the face of a half drunk and half sober college student. “I hope you don’t throw up because we’re going to get in big trouble if you do.”

“So you are staying,” beams Dahyun.

“When have I not?”

Dahyun shrugs and says nonchalantly, “Everytime I find the perfect timing to tell you that I love you? And yes please do take me accountable even if I’m drunk! Does that make any sense to you? I mean I don’t really make sense most of the time but right now I’m drunk enough to tell you that I love you because sober me is such a coward to do it herself. She’s kind of all over the place and is stupid-”

“Dahyun it’s 3 AM and you’re rambling, we still haven’t unlocked your door what do you think is more stupid?”

“Me being a coward for the past three years when I could’ve told you that I liked you - notice that? It’s liked because I love you now. And I think that’s not stupid.”

Dahyun starts to sag her body and Sana holds her just in time before she falls down on the carpeted floor of the apartment. She noses Sana by the neck and that alone makes her feel content.

“I’m drunk, I love you. Especially when I'm sober because I can see the whole you without my hazy mind getting in the way.”

Confessing drunk isn’t the best way to do it more so when you’re kind of locked out of your own apartment and it’s 3 AM in the morning. But Dahyun has to take her chances and college doesn’t really give you the option to be dramatic when it comes to your love life. You either take it or it up until you graduate.

She finally closes her eyes and hopes for the best. That the morning after she would wake in her bed with Sana beside her rather an empty and cold spot with Ibuprofen or Advil (whatever is available) and a glass of water on her night table. In the morning, she’ll have an answer.