Wheein glanced at the bus window while sitting on the bus, spaced out not noticing that her stop is near. She’ll be attending a reunion despite not wanting to go. But she has to, she needs to see her.

The door of the bus unlocked, and she got off. She's heading to their school right now, the exact moment she entered, nostalgia hits her.

She was starting to miss everything. Everything in here made her thought about someone, someone who was very important in her life. Each moment they shared together; she could distinctly recall it.

Wheein remembered the time when she was going to her locker, and there was this girl who caught her attention, the girl had a short-bobbed haircut, and her fashion sense was unique. It was winter back then, but she had a sleeveless top inside and a leopard fur over her, and that she was wearing leggings.

She had heard some people whisper that she looked as if she was from abroad. She shook her head and quietly grinned, then muttered, "That girl is quite cute" between her thoughts. A few of the reasons she decided to be a friend of the short-haired girl. Once somebody called her, she came back to her senses as she saw her friend, Solar.

"Wheein-ah, I've missed you so much," Solar said, hugging her tightly.

"I've missed you too, unnie," Wheein answered in the middle of their embrace.

"Let's go, our classmates are waiting for you," the brunette smiled.

"Alright," and she smiled back.

 

 

They're headed to the gymnasium. Wheein was quite nervous about going inside the gymnasium.

Wheein hasn't seen her for how many years, but now she's actually going to meet her.

The first thing she did as they reached the gym was to search for her, she noticed several familiar faces, but they weren't the ones she was searching for. Wheein was disappointed that she didn't think saw her.

"Byul-yi!" Solar yelled and waved to attract the attention of a girl named Moonbyul. A blonde-haired girl turned around and smiled at them.

"Solar, there you are, I've been searching all over for you," Moonbyul said as she walked to them.

"Sorry, I went to the bathroom, and then I saw Wheein," Solar explained, rubbing her nape.

"Wheein-ah, it was good to see you again. It has been like years since we last saw each other," Moonbyul said cheerfully and grinned.

She chuckled at her and replied. "Yeah, it's been a while."

"Let's all go to our table now"

 

 

They're down at their table now, but Wheein was still searching for her. She was having second thoughts whether to ask her friends where she was, but then she realized they didn't know what actually happened to them, so she just asked Moonbyul.

"Byul-yi unnie, have you seen Hwasa?" Wheein asked.

"I thought you were with her. Did you call her?" Moonbyul responded back.

"The thing is-“ she paused and took a deep breath continuing “-I haven't been in contact with her for years now" she muttered under her breath.

"What? Why?" the blonde asked in confusion.

"It's just that-" Wheein wasn’t able to finish what she's saying because there was a huge screen in the gymnasium and a video starts playing.

It was a slideshow, a compilation of photos in their batch. She immediately froze when pictures of them flashed on the screen.

There was a picture of them where they were at the beach. It was their first time to travel with all with their high school classmates in 2010. They carved their names in the sand and took a polaroid picture.

 

 

"You and Hwasa look so cute in these pictures," Solar said, smiling so happily as she turned to Wheein.

Wheein didn't answer, she was only looking at the screen.

"Wheein, are you all right?" Solar looked worried.

She became conscious of her surroundings again and replied, "I'm all right"

"Are you sure of that?" Solar asked again to check if she was really okay.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine. I just need to get some air" she said and went to get some fresh air.

As she went away, the girl could hear the voices of her friends calling her, however she didn't care. Wheein tried to cry, but there were no tears streaming out. She had forgotten what had happened, even though she had ignored about it, she still regretted making that decision, and it was her biggest mistake in her life, and she had lost her best friend, her sister, her other half because she didn't controlled her emotions well.

Wheein didn't mean to say those things to her best friend, she was just hurt and in pain. She admits she's stupid for making that decision.

 

 

When is this class going to end? I already miss Hwasa, and now I want to grab lunch with her. I always dislike this topic as it's the only subject that she isn't with me.

Her chin is now resting in her palm, and now she's trying her best to stay awake from this boring class.

Only a couple more minutes, and this is going to end.

The bell rang and students started to leave the room

"Okay, class dismissed" the teacher said and had left the room

Wheein was fixing her stuff and now placing it on her bag. After fixing her things, she went to her locker to place her books in it.

Wheein noticed her best friend chatting to some of the girls in the locker, she was puzzled because Hwasa wasn't that type of person to be friendly to others, and that was the reason why she was the first one to approach her.

She placed her books in her locker and headed over to her best friend.

"Hey, Hwasa," Wheein said, smiling at her best friend.

Hwasa and her classmates immediately stopped talking and stared at Wheein. The girl was looking at her with a dull look and gave her a nod.

Wheein stopped in her tracks, suddenly her smile started to fade when she saw what Hwasa did to her. She decided to remain calm, and overlooked what her best friend had done and kept walking with a smile on her face.

"Hwasa, do you want to grab lunch with me today?" Wheein asked.

"No thanks, I have plans today," her best friend answered. Wheein stood frozen in her position as the she turned her back, because that was the first time Hwasa had declined her. She just replied, "Oh, sure that's all right. See you around then," then she smiled bitterly.

Wheein turned her back and walked away. Hwasa understood that her best friend was upset, and she was sorry for what she did, however that's the only reason for her to leave. She continued talking with her classmates.

Wheein went to the cafeteria alone, had already paid for her lunch, and she's trying to find a place to sit on. The cafeteria is crowded with students, and it's hard to find a spot.

Fortunately, someone called her to come to their place, it was Moonbyul with Solar. Wheein went to their seat, placed her tray there, and sat down.

"This is the first time you've eaten alone at lunch, you're lucky Moonbyul found you," Solar said while enjoying her spicy rice cake.

"I wouldn’t be alone if Hwasa didn’t had plans today," Wheein explained and started eating.

"At least we’re here to keep you company," Moonbyul said and laugh with her nose muscles

Wheein smiled at the blonde "Thank you."

 

 

Ever since the day Hwasa declined Wheein to grab lunch, things have started to get complicated for both of them.

They've been like that for about a month, every time the Wheein approached her best friend to hang out, the girl would always say, "I can't. I already have plans."

Wheein was not aware of it, but Hwasa had begun to change, no she already changed. She somehow doesn't realize what's going on. She was hurt by her actions and words.

They haven't spoken to each other yet, since her best friend is still with her new found friends, although Wheein wants to speak to the girl, however the girl seems to be ignoring her. She always felt she had done something wrong with her, which caused her to change.

Just as what happened earlier, she watched the girl and saw her cheerfully chatting to her new group of friends, and Wheein began to be jealous, sad, and upset all because of her best friend.

She tried attempting to indulge in a chat with her. "Hwasa, can we talk for a minute?" But she just stared at her and walked out like that. She was dumbfounded at the actions of the girl.

 

 

Months have gone, and Wheein realized that something was different, even so she was angry by the fact that she done nothing wrong towards her best friend, but the girl's been ignoring her over the past few months.

It is the last thing she wanted Hwasa to do to her, she never imagined her best friend to do this kind of stuff.

Wheein walked to her locker when she saw Hwasa placed some stuff in her locker by herself. She knew this would be a chance to talk to the girl. She hurriedly placed her books in her locker and went to Hwasa.

The girl didn't notice that Wheein was approaching her as she was occupied placing her stuff in her locker. It is her opportunity to finally speak to her right now.

"Hwasa?"

Her best friend looked at her and gasp in surprise. "You scared me."

"Sorry."

"What do you want Wheein?" Hwasa asked with an irritated tone

"I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About us."

"What do you mean by us, Wheein?" the short haired girl asked in annoyance

"Our friendship, Hwasa."

"What about it?"

"For the past few months, I've barely had an opportunity to hang out with you, I've never spoken to you, and I rarely see you. You're always with your classmates, or should I say to your new friends, I admit that I'm jealous because we used to be like that, so witnessing you do those stuff that we normally do with other people hurts me the most. I miss you Hwasa, no, I miss us, the old us. I miss the times we go eat together, I miss our endless talks on the phone, I miss those times." Wheein’s voice cracked when she said her last words and tears of despair slowly crept down her cheeks, leaving her weak and frail.

Hwasa chuckled, "So what if I hang out with them? You hang out with Moonbyul and Solar, too. And Wheein do you think we're actually friends? I only spoke to you back then because I pitied you, since you don't seem to have any friends. I didn't actually think hanging out with you will make you believe we 're best friends. You're making me laugh! You're just a pitiful loser."

Wheein was stunned from the way she acted and wiped her tears, "You're lying Hwasa, I know you're lying. That was harsh. I'm not a loser, and don't you ever say that to me again."

"Oh, come on, Wheein. I'm not lying. You're too desperate to realize that? You 're actually getting creepy, and it's giving me chills."

"You know if we're going to end this stupid friendship of ours, we should do it now."

"It's better if we did."

 

 

Since the day they ended their friendship, Hwasa doesn't come to school as much. The girl was always absent and it came to the fact that she might get drop out because of this. Wheein was worried, she still cares about the girl, even if they parted ways.

Wheein didn't know what gotten her, and before she realized it, she's already in front of Hwasa's place. Before she got to push the button of the doorbell, there was an old lady who stopped her.

 "Hey student, what are you doing there?"

"I'm visiting my friend."

"Who is your friend?”

“Her name is Hwasa.”

“Oh, the Ahn Family? They don’t live there anymore. It’s been months since they moved.”

“Is that so? Thank you so much.”

 

 

Wheein went on a stroll at the hallway when she saw Hwasa's locker. She walked to Hwasa's locker and opened it. She saw a notebook.

Well, a diary, to be exact.

A white diary.

The diary had pages that were quite obviously ripped, and some still had them.

"Is this Hwasa's? Why is this still here-" her eyes widened when she opened the diary. She flipped through the yellowed pages.

A glimpse back into her almost fading memories uncovered an old wound in her heart. This is the diary that Hwasa always had when they were students.Writings of the lovely song lyrics she composed, notes expressing how glad that Wheein was always there for her, and poetry. It's all written down in a single sheet of paper.

The pages that Hwasa didn't give to Wheein.

Huffing the diary to get rid of the dust. Wheein flipped through one of the pages of the diary and chuckled at the recollection of how she used to annoy her best friend about her handwriting, even if it was a lovely handwriting.

"2009.12.01.

2:30pm.

There's this girl who came to me and said she wanted to be friends, I agreed and I feel like we're going to be good friends. Her name is Jung Wheein. At first, I figured she was going to mock my outfit since a lot of my classmates did that, but I didn't expect her to be a friend of mine.”

 

"2009.12.08.

7:23pm.

It's been a week since we began to hang out. The more time we spend with each other, the more I realize we have a lot in common. It felt like we were long lost sisters. Looking at her though, she really looks like a puppy, it's cute.”

 

"2009.12.17.

12:27pm.

Spending time with her has made me happy. I don't care if I don't interact with other people as long as she's right next to me.”

 

"2009.12.22.

3:15am.

I just finished composing my song. I've been working intensely writing it for weeks, so I hope my hard work will pay off. I'm going to ask Wheein if she likes it later.

Title: I Do Me

don't don't push me
this is me, bad me (bad girl)
whatever I want (uh) whatever I want (uh) I, I, I (high)
don't don't bother me,
I'm not afraid, this stronger me
I don't care (hey) I don't care (hey)
I'm gonna work hard and get money then go to nail-salon"

 

"2009.12.25.

12:00am.

It's already Christmas. I’m here with Wheein and we’re celebrating it together. Merry Christmas, Wheein. I love you."

 

"2009.12.29.

9:30am.

When Wheein called me outside, I was sleeping peacefully. I wasn't going to go, but when I saw snowflakes fall, I hurriedly ran out and, as soon as I left, I was freezing to death, realizing that I forgot my coat. Wheein lend me hers and told me she can handle the cold, but I told her that we should share it. This is the first snow we have been together.”

 

"2010.4.17

6:51pm.

A wish for lots of birthday fun
To last until the day is done.
Hoping that all your wishes come true,
and your birthday cake is as sweet as you!

Happy Birthday Wheein, I love you so much."

 

A smiled gently at the edge of Wheein's lips. She flipped again through the diary, her heart says that she wants to read all of the untold secrets that is in the diary pages.

 

"2010.07.14.

1:40pm.

Being with her gives me strength. I would rather walk with Wheein in the dark rather than alone in the light."

 

"2010.7.18.

4:00pm

I can’t believe she actually jumped through the river because of my dare. I love how extra she is. My happy pill."

 

"2010.7.31.

8:34pm.

How I wonder if you will ever get to read this?

Probably not.”

 

"2010.8.15.

9:30am.

My enemy, don't forget our promise to get tattoos when we reach our 20s okay? Don’t you dare get one without me. I swear to god, I’m going to hit you with a frying pan if you did."

 

Almost 2 hours had passed by, and Wheein had already gone through half of the pages in the diary.

 

"2012.6.10.

1:30am

It’s hard to sleep when you’re sick."

 

"2012.6.14.

10:45pm.

I don’t know why I’m like this. I feel so sad. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

 

"2012.6.25.

7:35pm.

Wheein visited me and brought some pizza. She’s the sweetest. I love her."

 

"2012.7.3.

11:13pm.

I don't believe that my wish in the shooting star will be granted

But I'm hoping that my wish would come true"

 

Wheein had let go of a heartbreaking grimace. The more she read the diary, the more her old wounds would be opened. She didn't even want to continue reading it, but she saw there were just a few pages in the diary.

 

"2013.2.23.

4:24pm.

I admit. I hate lying. I am bad at it. But I had to. "

 

"2013.2.24.

2:58am.

I hope you don't even get to read this."

 

"2013.3.30.

12:30pm.

This is the first time I declined her to go out for lunch. I want to, but I can’t. I’m sorry, Wheein."

 

"2013.4.12.

9:26pm.

How to be selfish?

I really want to be selfish this once

I don't want to lose my best friend

No, I really can't lose her."

 

"2013.4.13

7:00am.

Why is He so cruel?

Why can't we be together forever?

I really love my best friend.

She's like a sister to me.

My other half..."

 

"2013.6.29.

11:30am.

It's been months since we last hang out.

I know she's hurt by my actions, but this is the only way."

 

"2013.7.14

10:45am.

She wants to talk to me, but I ignored her.

I know what she wants to talk about but I need to avoid her, I have to."

 

Wheein couldn't get the fuss out of her mind, she hesitated, but still flipped through the last page of the diary.

 

"2013.8.1.

2:10pm.

Wheein has decided to end our friendship.

It's been so painful to see her cry in front of me.

I only want to hold her so tight,

I want to, but I can't do that.

I didn't mean to say those words to her.

I love my best friend, and I will always do.

In another life, I want to be best friends with Wheein again.

I guess now is the moment to believe in shooting stars."         

 

Wheein turned the last page and saw their picture together, it was the first picture they took together and in the back of the picture there was a note.

"I may have done things that made you hate me, but I need to do all of that to protect you from hurting yourself because of me. I hope you remember that you will always be my best friend.

You are my favorite person, my sister, my best friend and my other half.

I love you, Jung Wheein. Don’t forget about me.”

 

"Oh my gosh," Wheein felt her lip quivering. She tried to hold it back, she tried to swallow her tears, but her will was too weak, so she began to cry. Her tears trickle down her cheek, and drips onto her shirt. She really wanted to know why Hwasa didn't want her to read it. So, she hurriedly picked up her phone and quickly scrolled into her contacts. She saw a familiar name and immediately called.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Ahn?"

"Wheein?"

"Yes, it's me. Is Hwasa there? I wanted to ask her something."

 

 

"Hey, so I saw your diary in your locker and read it," Wheein muttered, her breathing is shaky as she squeezed a ripped sheet of paper in one side and a toy puppy in the other. "You should've told me, I'm your best friend, remember? I would have understood it and be with you. Hwasa! I missed you so much, I was so stupid to believe what you said to me, and I was so stupid in handling my emotions back then. Why didn't you tell me that sooner? Why? I'm still regretful, you know.

Wheein closed her eyes as she placed the piece of paper and the toy puppy in front of the cold marble step.

"In Remembrance of Ahn Hwasa,
1995.06.23 - 2016.08.17"

Her eyes still closed with a burdensome heart, she slowly left the cemetery.

 

"2016.11.7.

2:12pm.

I will always be here for you, no matter where you are.

Thank you.

I love you, Hwasa.

- Your favorite puppy, Jung Wheein."