Final

Note that this is Seungwan (Wendy's) POV

“ugh” I flush the toilet as I weakly walk out from my ‘meeting room’ for this week. I sat down on my bed, ignoring the pair of eyes stares at me boringly.

“You can laugh. I won’t fight back.” I lay down on my bed with my feet dangling at the edge as I rub my stomach gently.

“I didn’t said anything.” Joohyun. A year older than me. A Friend of mine since I bump to her for the first time at the collage. Fortunately we took the same class but with her already have her own small company to run while me, as daddy’s daughter, just wait him to pass down his heritage since I am his only child.

“But you will.”

“Wan-ah-.”

“I just want to look pretty.” Yup. Every since I was a child, I was chubby, and still chubby. I don’t even know why. I eat little than everyone’s portion and I am still fat. Those belly fat won’t go away as it getting thicker by years. I already tried so many methods. Dieting, go to gym, do yoga, anything except to cut myself open and took those fat away. I won’t cut myself, not in million years. You even won’t believe it if I told you I once go to shaman because I thought maybe there is a ghost that keeps following me to full fill their wishes for excellent food in this world. And the foods, oh god the foods in this world is so delicious that sometimes I couldn’t help but fall for. I am a human alright. The only sin I will commit, that would be around food department.

“But you are.” Did I mention my friend here is sweet mouth too? I know she just tried to console me but her words still made me feel warm inside.

“I am fat Joohyun. That’s the fact. But thanks for your concern.”

“But I am honest with you. You are pretty and please don’t let anyone’s words get you because they just say it without using their brain. And pretty please stop drinking that medicine, it’s not healthy.” She look at me with her furrow brow. Aish, cute.

“And you are taller than me, you are from Canada, so you are Canada average. The L size you have probably is teenager size there.” Still pouting and keep complaining. I can’t agree enough. I mean, compare to me and the other girls in collage, she looks so petite and young. If I bring her to LA, my family, they will think she’s barely 15! She has a youth face that never fades. I already turn her room upside down just to know if she has her youth secret cream but she swear it just her genetic or something which is truth. All of her relative looks young, even her parents. After awhile I start to doubt if they are human and start to check Joohyun’s teeth, just in case I befriending with vampire which she found silly.

“It’s doctor approved Unnie, So I can assure you it’s save this time. I do my research okay? And this time it will work. Trust me.”I smile, try to assure her or more to myself. Did I mention I tried so many things to get myself slimmer? Well the latest one is this pills that I found in internet and I read tons of review for it. Most of them were successed so why wouldn’t I try?

“But I really want this dress.” I said pouted. The shop keeper smiles apologetically as Joohyun return the cute flowery dress back and drag me out from the store.

“We can find another one okay.” She tried to console me but I am still upset. Stupid stomach. I pinch my stomach and winch cause Joohyun took my hand away.

“Hey hey what are you doing?” she rubs my stomach and look at me worried.

“This stupid stomach won’t let me have that dress. It was so beautiful and it’s summer, it fit the theme so well.” I pouted. She chuckle and pat my head.

“Now, now, what if we go to eat first and then we try another shop? There is no way something won’t fit on you.”

“What? Didn’t you hear me?! I am fat! And you want me to eat-“ I halt from rising my voice when my stomach grumble loudly cause Joohyun laugh so hard that gain pedestrian attention. I am really upset now and I can feel tears almost fallout from my eyes but a gentle hand place on my cheek and eyes look at me gently.

“Come on, don’t be upset. When I said we will found one, we will okay?” she lean up and kiss my temple. That really shut me up and once again my stomach fail me as Joohyun bring me my favorite restaurant. She was right, go to hell you summer dress I will just wear my jumper and cargo pants for summer.

5 months later, I meet this guy, he is so handsome and athletic. Many girls adore her, well most of them.

“Oh look, he walks toward here!” I squeal as I shake the uninterested women beside me.

“Unnie, he look at me, what should I do?!” I gave a quickly check on my hair and dress. Today was crowded at the corridor and for that I kind of nervous.

“Cut it Wan-ah he probably just making bet with his friend to fool you.” Joohyun said coldly as I look at her upset. I was about to gave her piece of my mind but a heavy gentle voice stop me.

“Umm..Seungwan right?” oh god he is speaking to me! I nodded my head shyly while I can feel a cold deadly glare beside me.

“Um.. my name is Rowoon and I was wondering if, if we can have lunch together after this? Um.. I mean if you want, we, I mean I have no class after this so I thought-“ Rowoon’s face was red as he scratch his un itchy neck, looking at me shyly, oh gosh so cute!

“Yes! I mean yes Rowoon.” I smile brightly at him, ignoring Joohyun scoff and walk away from me and Rowoon.

I sat patiently at the café near university where I and Rowoon held the ‘lunch meeting’. I sat patiently as I keep looking at the front door, just in case he didn’t see me.

“Miss, are you ready to take your order?” the waiter ask as I told him I’m still waiting for my friend. He nodded understandingly and gave me some other time. I smile awkwardly at him. I look at my phone and it show’s 3 pm already. I grip on my phone tighter and assure myself he is late because dean is calling him or he suddenly has a group task cause him come late. I let my hair cover half of my face and sigh.

“Let’s go.” I didn’t have to look up to know that stern voice. I suddenly feel stupid. Seungwan you stupid, of course Joohyun is right. He just was playing with you. There is no way someone handsome like him like me who is no one but fat girl. She sat beside me and pat my head like she always do when I feel down. It’s like she knows everything about me. I quickly launch over her and hug her tight.

“Seungwan-ah.” She said softly as she my hair.

“I am so stupid Unnie, you are right! He, he just playing with me! I I should listen to you. I feel like the biggest looser and ty and-“

“No, no Shon Seungwan, you are not. He just a jerk who didn’t saw how pretty you are. He was blinded by all of those fake beauty okay and it’s his lost for not seeing the goodness in you. His lost Wan-ah.” I hug her tighter as my tears are now flow harder wetting her shirt. She always knew how to comfort me and I feel really grateful for having friend like her. We stay in each other embrace for a moment before my stomach growls loudly cause her chuckle. She let go off me and wipe my tears away.

“Now, you wasted so much energy for nothing. What I am going to do with you Seungwan-ah?” she pat my head and smiling widely at me cause I smile shyly at her.

“You know what, I know this special place to cultivation your cute belly. I swear you gonna like this place. And for the bonus, my treat!” That day, we walk hand in hand toward her special place. And for the first time in my life I feel her so warm and her eye smiles keep me awake for weeks.

“Unnie.”

“Hmm?”

“Why I never see you with girl or boy in collage?” I ask while I look at her, with my hand lazily make a circle on the table. She looks so fine with that white dress as she is concentrate with her duty, ironing. We are at the dorm, at her room to be exact. It was raining outside so we decided to lazy around her place. We are really open with each other as the true best friend would be. At first, I was taken back when she open up to me that she is bi. But that didn’t ruin my friendship with her since I am also open minded. You know in this country, liking the same gander is still taboo here but young people now days didn’t find that is a bad things now. Well most of them.

“Uh why with that sudden question?” she chuckle and put down her steam iron. She took all well stright and perfect linen clothes and put it inside her wardrobe. I watch every inch of her movement. I don’t know why but since that day, she never leaves my mind honestly. Her calm and gentle attention is what I greedy for lately.

“Well just curious. I mean you are pretty and all, so there is no way you don’t have someone you like or admire.” I shrug, try not to look obvious. She sat down beside me and pinches my cheek cause I swat her hand away and pout.

“What’s with the sudden curiosity?” she tease but suddenly gasp cause my mind panicked. There is no way she know I had crush on her!

“Are you perhaps wanted to take them away with your cuteness? Oh god Seungwan you stab me from behind!” She fake hurt as she place her hand over her chest, playing dead cause me shove her toward the bed.

“Ya you think I am that cheap?!” she snickers as I mumble ‘cheaphyun’ but smile along with her. I lay down beside her and enjoying the silent as the rain occupied the calmness of the day.

“I like this girl.” She breaks the silence. I keep myself mum as she continue, “She is independent and smart woman. I like how she handles things like adult but she is also the stupidest person I ever meet.” I frown as her chuckle a bit. This girl surely has weird taste.

“Despite how she tried to be perfect, I prefer her natural stupid self sometimes. It makes me want to protect her more. But I don’t like when she is hurting or crying. It makes me want to cry with her too.” I turn to her side and saw her closing her eyes. I take a good look at her face. She has fine jaw line, long eye lashes, pointy nose and those luscious lips. I gulp as she open her eyes and stare at me. She always has this gentle stare that can tug my heart in funny notes lately.

“S-She must be lucky to have you.” I stammer as she keep staring at me, like she tried to read something trough my eyes.

“Of course she is.” She looks away and smiles brightly. Ugh that smile. I feel sad because I am not the one who cause that smile. I her hair as she slowly close her eyes again, I guess enjoying the weather and my companion. I can see her slipping in and out her conscious as she tried hard to open her eyes but fail.

“So do I know this unlucky girl?”

“It’s secret.” She answer drowsily before crumble in to dream land with me still her hair. After sometime, I lean down and kiss her forehead softly.

“Well she better not to make you cry because I will hunt her down.”

Twenty more to go. Okay Seungwan you can do this. I step down from the scale machine and wore my cloth. Today is our weekly hang out day. Only me and her. Well I think I have to dress up tonight for no reasons. So I pick the dress that she choose for me a month ago from our outing. I look at the mirror and smile satisfied at my new look. I successfully lose my weight for 5 kilogram in 4 days and I am sure in 2 weeks I will lose at least 15- 20 kilogram. Joohyun was wrong when she said this tea won’t work. It works so fast and safe my time a lot.

Gggggggggggggg

“Oh no stupid stomach, not now.” I quickly run toward the bathroom and relief myself as I going back and forth at least 2 times more before I went to our meeting point. I was half of my way toward there but her sudden text massage stops me.

‘Seungwan ah I am really sorry but can we change our outing for tomorrow? I swear I’ll make it up for you.’

“oh that’s new, she never said no or cancel our plan so sudden.” I mumble to myself, well maybe she have something really important to do. I replied back her text massage saying that it was okay. I look up and the night is still young, so why not I enjoy my time tonight alone. It’s been a long time since I enjoying myself alone and I really having I great night, trying new things, new food, and took a note in my mind that I will bring Joohyun to my new found spot. I hum as I walk at the nearby shop and something or someone caught my attention.

“Unnie! You are so mean!” a tall and very beautiful girl whine toward the shorter girl who is laughing so hard.

“Ah I am so sorry Sooyoung. You just look so stupid.” Joohyun stop laughing and tried to pat the taller head which is causing the taller blush. They both staring at each other like... like there are so in love. I can feel my heart break as the taller girl slowly lean down toward Joohyun cause I can’t look anymore. I turn around to walk away but my body hit the mannequin cause it fall down with loud thud.

“Oh my god, miss are you okay?” the shop keeper ask as she quickly help me up while the other shop keeper pick up the mannequin.

“I-I am so sorry!” I bow. The shop keeper said it was nothing but I keep bowing my head toward them until I hear her shooting voice calling me.

“Seungwan?” I look up and meet her worried eyes with the taller girl stand beside her. I look down and saw how the taller girl’s hand warps securely on Joohyun’s waist. My hand balled in to fists tightly as I bow one more time before I ran away.

“Wait Seungwan!” I ran as fast as I could. I didn’t even realize that I was crying until I stop randomly at the park with me holding my stomach.

“Ugh.” I bit my lips as I hold the pain below my stomach. It was so hurt that my tears keep flowing out. That girl she’s with is so pretty. I am nothing to compare to her. She has tall model like figure and having angelic face while me, I am fat and ugly girl who is exactly look like potato shack. Is this why I never meet the girl Joohyun mention in collage? She felt a shame to introduce me as her ugly friend? Is this why she once a while going out alone? I can’t deny, they really look good together.

“Seungwan you are stupid.”

I walk slowly toward the dorm with my heels dangling on my right hand while my left hand packed with my bag. I stop at the corridor of my room when I saw someone familiar sitting down at the floor, hugging her feet over her chest as she buried her head in it. She must be having six senses because she suddenly look up and meet my eyes.

“S-Seungwan!” She quickly stood up and was about to approach me but I step back cause her also stop.

“Seungwan? You okay? Why are you not wearing your shoes? And where are you last night? I was worried.” She studied me before she took off her jacket and walk over me, ignoring my protesting body language. I was so tired so I let her drape it over my shoulder while she rub her hand up and down over my covered hands to make myself warm. I let her bring myself inside my room and sat me on my bed. Not long after she bring me cup of hot chocolate and hand it to me. I look at the cup and her back and forth and the memory last night make me slap the cup away cause the hot liquid spill out between us. She was so shock and I could care less if she got her hand burn.

“What the, Seungwan what are you doing?!” She rise her voice as she look at me sternly.

“What am I doing?” I scoff and look up at her with hate. “What are you doing?! Suddenly cancel our night out with some hot chick? Really Joohyun? I though you are different. I though you are my best friend but you choose that over me!”

“Seungwan watch your mouth!” her voice is booming inside my room. I never seen her so angry making my ego boiled high.

“Ohoho being defensive now are we? Oh right she is your everything that you will choose in a heartbeat rather that your friend here. Now I get it Joohyun. I just get it all this time.” My voice crack as I remember how they look at each other and how that girl lean in close to Joohyun.

“No Seungwan it’s not like that I-“

“Save it Joohyun I don’t want to hear any words from you. Now get out of my room before I kick you out!” my hand ball the edge of my bed so tight that it hurts while I look away from her face. I know I overstep but the hell with everything!

“Seungwan you can’t kick me out! And you said it was okay last night! What did I do wrong?! You can’t talk like that!” I took my bag that was beside me and throw it at her cause her look at me in shock for the second time.

“Out! I said out!” I grab my pillow and throw it at her again. She just stood there with red cheek probably came from my bag and the sadness in her eyes. We both stood inside my bedroom without saying a word before she sigh and walk toward the door. She halt in front of the door and look back at me.

“Her name is Sooyoung and she is my cousin. And I personally don’t like you call her name, Seungwan. I don’t know what cause you act like this but I don’t like it. I really don’t like it. Who are you?” she said before she left my room. I feel empty. I feel hollow in my heart as I slowly slump down on the floor and cried my heart out. I think I really mess up this time.

The last time we talk is Friday. That was last 2 weeks ago. It was miracle that we never saw each other although we are in the same class and I don’t intent to seeking her or talk to her. I feel ashame of myself. I sat down on the floor at one of the empty stall, hugging the toilet bowl like it’s my best friend. My mouth taste bitter and my head is spinning. Since that Friday, I frequently having this massive diarrhea and when I eat I will immediately throw everything out.

“Miss, are you okay?” someone is knocking at the stall but I didn’t respond it.

“Miss, I will open this door if you didn’t answer me! Miss, are you okay?!” the knock is more frequent and urgent as I slowly stood up, holding the pain on my stomach. I flush the toilet before I open the door. Whoever she is, she is really annoying! I lazily look up and my eyes going big as I saw familiar face in front of me.

“Oh you are the girl who make Joohyun unnie leave me behind!” the girl exclaim as she look at me up and down. I ignore her and walk to the sink, washing my hands and face to get fresher look.

“Miss, are you really okay? You look pale. I think we-“

“It’s okay, I am just tired. I guess.” I didn’t say anything else as I walk out from the restroom and went straight to my next class, ignoring Sooyoung who keeps calling me. I sat down at the very back of the class and lay my head down on the table. For these weeks I had a lot in my mind. It was all because of one person. I hear the door suddenly burst open with loud bang cause everybody look at the interlude including me. I saw Joohyun who trying hard to control her breathing and look around the class until her eyes stop on me. She look really worried while she walk toward me but the professor came in the right time and aside that, the place I choose is already full so there is no way she can seat near me. Her eyes still on me while I tried hard to keep up with what professor teaching us about something that I don’t even care right now because my stomach is really hurt. It’s biting me from inside. It’s okay Seungwan. The lecture will be over soon and you can go back to your dorm resting and everything is going to be fine again. I said to myself.

“Seungwan you okay?” I felt hand on my cheek as I look up at those worried eyes. I think I felt a slept.

“Oh god Seungwan you are sweating and pale.” She was right I feel hot and weak since this morning. The lecture had end 15 minutes ago I guess and I can’t even move my legs. My legs and fingers felt cold.

“Unnie, cold.” I said weakly before I black out.

“Seungwan? Wan-ah?” my eyes feel heavy and my throat feels dry as I can hear dull voice calling my name. I slowly blink my eyes and was greeted by Joohyun’s worried face. Her eyes is bit red. I think she was crying but I am not sure for that. I look at the right side and I can feel needle was stuck deep inside of me with big IV attach to it.

“Water.” I whisper hoarsely. Joohyun nodded frantically and fetch a glass of water with straw so I can drink comfortably.

“Where am I?” I ask after I get enough of water. She put the glass away and holds my hand.

“At the dorm’s clinic. You faint and doctor said you lost so much fluid on your body. You have gastric acute Wan-ah, you almost make a hollow on your stomach! What do you think you are doing?! Why you always make me worried?! Please listen to me this time. Please stop drinking that tea or whatever you consume right now. Please stop hurting your body like this. You almost died and I can’t lose you.” She put my hand on her cheek and I can see she is crying. One thing that I suddenly chuckle for cause her look at me with confuse teary eye. She is dramatic. But I am grateful though. She is the best friend I fall in love for.

Last year was chaos for both of us. We made up, I apologize to her while she do the same. She introduce me to Sooyoung that turn out she is our freshmen this year and I really adore her so much. I am still healing with Joohyun being by my side almost 24/7. She is the one who made sure I eat my food and medicine on time. She even calculates for how long I should sleep. She is control freak but I don’t mind any bit of it. I really like her attention. She took care of me so well that cause me back to my ‘normal size’ in short time. For this couple days I notice something different with Joohyun’s behavior, she always complaint that she was hungry and eat more from her usual portion. She drags me to eat from time to time. I finally stop drinking that tea or anything that can cause me lost weight. After I witnessing Joohyun cried for me. I realize the best way to live is not dieting, but to eat and live healthy. I didn’t say that I was accepting myself being fat. Couple nights ago, Joohyun brought couple DVD that has story about fat people. I was mad at first because she force me to watch it. Buy the more I watch it the more I realize so many things. I should accept who I really was and I don’t have to be slim to be pretty. There are tons of people who are chubbier than me but they are happy. They happy for whom they are and people still respect them, love them. I don’t have to be slim to get all of that. I don’t have to worry that I maybe grow old alone with no lover. Everyone is beautiful. I should love myself more.

“Oh god so full!” Joohyun groan as she pat her bloated tummy. I notice her. And I never am more thankful than this.

“Unnie, please don’t force yourself anymore. I know what are you intent, but you need to stop before you really get sick.” I chuckle as I took a napkin to wipe the remaining sauce over her chin.

“What do you mean? I don’t understand.” Joohyun clear and ship her milkshake.

“Oh come on Joohyun, I know you trying to fatten yourself so I don’t feel alone. I get it okay, I stop using those slimming-slimming thing and I start to exercise and eat healthy, while you, you start to eat junk food and have a midnight snack . This is not the Joohyun I know.” Joohyun smile sheepishly as she was now aware that she got caught.

“I don’t want you to feel alone. If you think you are fat, I will eat more so I can be fatter than you.” Oh my god this girl is so sweet!

“Do you perhaps have feelings for me?” I . At first I can’t believe myself hearing this from Sooyoung who said it’s a top secret that I have to pay her with delicious food. Not that I can’t complain. She likes food and so do I. I just found my partner in crime that day. When she said that Joohyun might have feeling for me, I can see it really clear now where I have to bring our friendship.

“W-What?”

“Oh come on Unnie, no one, I repeat no one has stick with me for so long. I am ugly and people don’t like ugly fat person like me.”

“You don’t say that or I will be mad!” Well she really does look upset. I chuckle and gave a peck on her cheek.

“Now, I want you to give me a chance, to give us a chance. Like it or not you will be my girlfriend, I will come with every class you have at the Gym and let’s life happy and healthy shall we?”

“What?” she said tried to digest everything I told her.

“Kiss me once if you agree and kiss me twice if you don’t” she nodded her head but quickly slap her hand on me cause I chuckles.

“Hey that’s favor to you!”

“69…70..71..”

“Wan-ah..stop stop stop..”

“72- what Joohyun we almost reach 400, come on you can do it.” Joohyun lay down on the floor and wave her hands. I chuckle and sat beside her, wiping those sweat on her face with my towel. It’s been 8 months since we going out together and it was a huge progress. We are happy with each other and she is more happy that I really listen to her. I never imagine without doing extreme dieting, I lose weight steadily and I really love the result so much. Joohyun is really good companion. She eat with me, go to gym with me with all the amount of exercise she usually do. She teach me patiently and I can’t be more thankful for that. If only I didn’t think of the short way to be slim, I should go with her instead long time ago.

“Let’s stop today okay I am out.” Joohyun said still catch her breath. I bit my lips as I can see her chest heaving up and down, greedily took the oxygen as much as she can. I almost moan when my eye brought down from her ample chest to tone abs. oh god she is perfection.

“Hey-hey my eyes up here.” Joohyun snapping her fingers in front of my face before she laugh. I can feel myself red, almost dying from embarrassment.

“you are cute.” She said as she sit up and pat my hair. Oh god what a cute and hot girlfriend I have here.

“Now let’s go! I’m craving for chicken wings.”

“What? But Hyun-ah we just burn 350 kcal and chicken wings-“ I got silence by her soft lips. Damn this girl, she will be the death of me.

“Now you listen to me. I know we are progressing here but even if you back to your old self I still love you and I notice it Wan-ah, those attention you get after loss weight. I really don’t like it.” She pout and stood up. I admitted after me losing weight, the attention that I never got start to haunt me. I am a girl, of course I like attention but it’s weird since their attention is not like what Joohyun gives me. Either it was lust or whatever it is my heart won’t change.

“So my cute Girlfriend is jealous huh?” I stood up as warp my arms around her sticky waist.

“W-What if I am ? I am your girlfriend so I have the right to do that.” She pried my hand and walk to the exit door. I grin as I catch up with her. I spun her around and slam her toward the wall beside the door.

“Well, we will get the chicken wings as much as you want but after that we will have the most extreme burning calories on top of your bed, do you hear me?” I whisper beside her ears before I escape with giggles, leaving her red inside the room.