Hyunjin wouldn’t call herself a troublemaker. 

 

Sure, she enjoyed playing pranks here and there, goofing around with her friends just because, and making her high school experience as enjoyable as it possibly could be. But, detention? Hyunjin’s record is spotless. Or at least it was. She always tried to stay on top of school, sweet talk her way into her teacher’s hearts, create enough trouble for fun but not enough to be a nuisance. But it wasn’t even like she meant to set the fire alarm off. Hyejoo had pushed her around a bit for teasing her about the ginormous crush she had on Yerim—but Hyunjin always about it—and Hyunjin doesn’t even know how it happened, but she felt a sharp pain in her back and the next thing that followed were the ear-splitting screams from the fire alarm beginning to sound.

 

(Hyejoo just about ran the second the alarms started ringing and Hyunjin was left to fend for herself to be interrogated by Mrs Kim. Taking the fall, because that’s what friends do, Hyunjin lies and confesses that she pulled the alarm “for the hell of it.”

 

If it wasn’t setting the fire alarm off that got her into trouble, it was definitely because she was ditching her Art class. Hyunjin would call her reason for ditching “senioritis” but the disciplinary head called it “laziness” and promptly punished her with detention after school).

 

Thankful that her basketball practice took place later into the night, Hyunjin wouldn’t have heard the end of it from her coach if she had to skip practice for detention. Before Hyunjin even got to her next class after being reprimanded, her phone pinged. 

 

watermelon thief: omg hyun im so sorry for leaving you with the wolves!!!!!! whatever you want, i’m on it!!!!!!

 

a furry????: ...fine. I want tlj’s condensed milk cream baguette. at least three of those delicious ers bc mrs kim hit me with after school detention 

 

If it were anyone else, Hyunjin would have given them a harder time, but Hyejoo has a special place in her heart. And plus, Tour Les Jours' condensed milk cream baguettes are Hyunjin’s favorite, so, whatever. 

 

Detention couldn’t be that bad, right?

 

~

 

Walking into the Art classroom, it’s not uncommon for various works to be pinned on the walls. Careful to step over papers laid on the floor with plates of paint precariously laid around, Hyunjin shifts her backpack before sliding into her usual seat in the middle of the classroom. It doesn’t take too much long after for Miss Son, her teacher and detention administrator, to meander into her classroom, a pen gracefully perched behind her ear.

 

Calmly and quietly commanding respect and attention, Miss Son’s voice is stern, yet relaxed, “Hyunjin, I hope you don’t mind, but someone is coming in to finish their project. I’ll have you catch up on what we did today seeing as you decided that you had better plans than attending my class.”

 

Hanging her head low and nodding, Hyunjin couldn’t afford to see the faint disappointment in her teacher’s face. Miss Son is one of the teacher’s that Hyunjin enjoys the most. She carries a quiet and sure confidence that flows within her as she goes about life in her own digression without worry. Hyunjin admired that about her—that the teacher could go about her life without giving a second thought to anyone’s opinions about her. (The deepest part of Hyunjin wishes that she could do that, but such is the teenage experience of insecurity and growing).

 

Before she can speak, the classroom door opens, soft sunlight filtering through. Ambling through and pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, Hyunjin feels her ears begin to burn, a blush dusting her cheeks.

 

Jeon Heejin.

 

Hyunjin has had a crush on her since she first saw her their freshman year at registration. Heejin had round cheeks despite her shapely face, a bright smile and crescent moon eyes to compliment, and beautiful long hair that looked impossibly soft. Looking for Heejin throughout their school years, Hyunjin always finds her despite Heejin slipping to the background and remaining virtually invisible to most of her class. Even if Hyunjin naturally blossomed into popularity with her envious athletic skill and academic success, she never had the bravery to talk to Heejin. It’s not that talking to pretty girls scared Hyunjin, but, talking to this specific pretty girl made Hyunjin want to hide and burn bright pink at the mere thought of saying “hi” to her.

 

“Hi Miss Son! Thanks for letting me come in!”

 

Smiling kindly at her, Miss Son waves away her thanks, “New book today, Heejin?”

 

Nodding with a happy smile on her lips and somewhat bashful, Heejin brandishes the book with a certain pride, “I was planning on coming in here during lunch to work on my painting but I got distracted reading because I found this in my locker after my fourth period.”

 

Leaning into her chair and looking at the book curiously, Miss Son flips through it when Heejin hands it to her, “Do you have any idea who’s giving you these books?”

 

Heejin visibly deflates and Hyunjin can hear the pout on her lips, “No, I can’t think of anyone who would do this. My friends would just recommend me a book if they wanted me to read it and it’s not like I have a secret admirer or something.”

 

Miss Son’s eyebrows raise while returning the book to the girl, a knowing look in her eyes, “You never know, Heejin. They might be around you more than you think.”

 

Shrugging in defeat and sighing, Heejin slings her backpack off before rolling her sleeves up. Before Heejin can head to her painting, Miss Son stops her, “Also, Heejin, could you brief Hyunjin on what happened today in class? Miss Park is summoning me and I’ve got to go.”

 

Verbalizing confirmation while tying up her hair, Hyunjin swears her heart just might tear through her chest with every step Heejin takes towards her. (It doesn’t help that Heejin looked so pretty with her hair up or how good she looked with the glasses sitting on the bridge of her perfect nose either—it’s almost unfathomable to Hyunjin how much it takes her breath away). Hiding her hands in pockets so that Heejin doesn’t see her picking at her nails, a nervous tick she does, Hyunjin instills herself with every single hope in the world that she wouldn’t embarrass herself in front of Heejin.

 

(Hyunjin doesn’t think she could survive looking like a fool in front of Heejin. She’s cool for God’s sake. Popular. She can do it. She can talk to pretty girls).

 

Hyunjin barely gets her heartbeat under control as Heejin stops at the front of her desk. Looking up at her, Heejin’s lips are in a polite soft smile. Hyunjin hopes that the gulp she swallows down isn’t noticeable.

 

“Hi Hyunjin.”

 

Heejin’s voice is low—lower than Hyunjin remembers it being. It makes the words she was tripping over in her brain disappear into dust. (Hyunjin never knew her name could sound so good falling from someone’s lips, but it feels like being pulled in by a siren’s song hearing Heejin’s voice). Hyunjin can only dreamily observe how Heejin’s lips move as she continues to speak, her voice like a gentle lull winding and lacing the air, making it hard for Hyunjin to focus.

 

“Hyunjin? Did you- were you listening to me?”

 

Hyunjin blinks, reality popping her dream like a balloon. Hyunjin fights the urge to bounce her legs, hates how her voice croaks like a ing frog when she replies, “No.”

 

Heejin’s eyebrows furrow lightly, her smile falling away as she shifts on her feet to stave away the awkwardness, “Anyway, um, Miss Son wanted us to look at the news and paint what it makes us feel. She has news clippings over there and we were free to use our phones to pull up articles too.”

 

The only thing Hyunjin can think about while looking at Heejin is how parched feels, her clammy hands still stuffed in her pockets, and how her legs have been bouncing to the beat of Crush’s Cereal because it’s the one thing getting her heartbeat to slow down because when Heejin’s so close, it beats the adrenaline of being neck-and-neck in overtime. The only difference is that Hyunjin thrives under the pressure of making plays and viewing the court in basketball. Hyunjin positively shrivels under Heejin’s gaze and it shows when Heejin seems to bow in formality and backs away to her project when Hyunjin doesn’t seem open to any more conversation.

 

As Heejin turns her back to her, Hyunjin only shuts her eyes in embarrassment, grimaces into her palms, and can only exasperatedly think, “.” 

 

(Hyunjin can talk to pretty girls. Just, not this one).

 

By the time Hyunjin finishes up her painting, Heejin’s canvas has transformed from an empty blank slate to that of a dark night and a blood red moon shining its light through fog and clouds. Looking at her canvas and back at Heejin’s, Hyunjin might as well have been a five-year-old sloppily painting a red sun onto a black canvas splattered with white paint. Leaving her painting to dry after signing her name at the bottom right corner, Hyunjin attempts to push her chair in as quietly as she can so as to not disturb the girl in the room with her, Heejin looking sharply dialed into her painting.

 

That is until Hyunjin trips over the cup of brushes left on the floor and Heejin seems to jump from the intrusion of sound. Dropping to her knees to quickly push the brushes back into the cup, Hyunjin’s cheeks blush pink and she feels a burn of slight shame and embarrassment scald her ears. Almost throwing her backpack onto her back and running out of the door, Heejin barely catches Hyunjin’s mumbling.

 

It almost sounded like, “You paint good,” but, with how the door shuts behind Hyunjin, her compliment drifts with the wind.

 

(The only thing that made Hyunjin’s day better after that embarrassingly disastrous detention were the sweets that Hyejoo had brought over, guilty eyes and slight pout sitting on her lips. When she apologizes again, Hyunjin only tears a piece of the bread off for her—Hyunjin could never be mad at Hyejoo).

 

~.~.~

 

The next day, Hyunjin is having a considerably better time as she hasn’t been reprimanded by any teachers or has been in any trouble. But, at the end of her AP Calculus class, it’s as if the universe promptly decided, “Let’s on Hyunjin’s parade!” when her teacher tells Hyunjin to stay after dismissal.

 

Math is tough. Hyunjin doesn’t cry easy, but math has made her cry many tears in the past. AP Calculus makes Hyunjin want to drive her head through a brick wall because the thought of that hurts less than enduring a grueling test. So, when Miss Ahn tells Hyunjin that she failed her last test, Hyunjin can’t help the tears that come to sit right at her eyelids.

 

(Flunking —Hyunjin hates failure more than anything. But, flunking when she’s already at a C- grade makes Hyunjin want to be by a blackhole that would transfer her anywhere but her present).

 

“Hyunjin, I know you’re trying hard to understand the material but sometimes, it takes more teaching to make your workload easier. I know you want to pass and getting a tutor will help you. And I’m sure you know that having a failing grade will jeopardize your basketball season.”

 

Nodding and doing her best to not cry in front of her teacher because Hyunjin knows that better than anything, Miss Ahn hands her a paper that details the time and location when tutors would be available to help.

 

Looking at the sheet of paper at her locker, Hyunjin leans her body against the cool metal because, honestly, she just wants to take a nap for the next hundred years to avoid her imminent future of learning AP Calculus. To Hyunjin, trying to understand math is more taxing than running the double suicides that her coach makes her team do when they can’t seem to bag simple layups during practice.

 

.

 

~

 

Looking at the classroom number and flicking her eyes to look at the sheet of paper that had been sitting heavy in her pocket, Hyunjin drags in a breath of air before opening the door.

 

At this point, Hyunjin just wants to laugh at her luck when she finds that Jeon Heejin is the only unoccupied student in the classroom, the telltale color of Hyunjin’s AP Calculus book next to her. Walking up to her and grasping tightly onto the straps of her backpack, Hyunjin clears to get Heejin’s attention (and to get rid of the knot sitting there). Hyunjin hates how her voice is flat and monotone except for when it lifts at the end, as if asking a question, “Miss- Miss Ahn sent me here for tutoring?”

 

When Heejin looks up, at first, the same polite smile she had on the day before sits on her lips until it slightly fades at the sight of the girl in front of her.

 

Hyunjin hates how she has already made Heejin not like her despite never talking to her. (Except, that was her nail in her coffin—not talking to Heejin). 

 

Smiling again, seemingly forced to Hyunjin, Heejin gestures at the chair in front of her before speaking, “You’re at the right place, Hyunjin.”

 

(Hyunjin kind of swoons when Heejin says her name but Hyunjin would rather die before admitting that).

 

Almost stumbling into her seat after pulling out the chair, Hyunjin feels the awkwardness in the air between them. 

 

(It doesn’t make sense to her. She has talked to pretty girls before with perfect ease. She has gotten numbers without trying to get them, has been asked out without realizing, has no problem with flirting with them. But, when it comes to Heejin, it’s like Hyunjin barely knows a word to stutter out).

 

“So, what do you need help with?”

 

Hyunjin wishes she could give a straight answer. Something like “Oh, I need help with chapter four,” but really, all Hyunjin can do is look at her book, utterly lost and almost pathetically confused.

 

“Uh. Everything past chapter one? I- I’m absolute at math.”

 

Heejin sighs. (Not to make fun of Hyunjin, it’s just, getting help this late into the semester is a lot of material to cover. But, Heejin was getting volunteer hours for this so it’s not like she can complain. Plus, AP Calculus is a breeze for her and she can’t help but to take pity on Hyunjin because she looks like pure devastation sitting in front of her).

 

The sigh that Heejin let out seems to echo around the walls of Hyunjin’s brain. It’s an added burden that Hyunjin is sure Heejin never meant to vocalize, “I’m sorry if it takes forever for me to get something. I promise to try hard.”

 

Heejin looks up from the textbook and nods in acknowledgement after finding the first page of chapter two before sliding the book towards Hyunjin, “What about chapter two do you need help with?”

 

Hyunjin sheepishly smiles and Heejin blinks at the lack of her reply. Twirling the pencil in her hand, Heejin takes out her own piece of paper to begin their tutoring session.

 

As it goes, Hyunjin really is horrible at math. 

 

It takes a while for concepts to click and make sense and Hyunjin is barely finishing up the practice problems Heejin assigned for her when her phone begins to vibrate. Quickly silencing it when Heejin looks up from grading her work, Hyunjin darts her eyes to her nails because she couldn’t take any more of being close to Heejin. All while Heejin was tutoring her, Hyunjin could only focus on how cute she looked when she furrowed her eyebrows when she would read the chapter notes, how her circle wire framed glasses made her look even cuter, the moles adorning her face, and how pretty her smile looked when Hyunjin finally executed a concept correctly. Not to mention how Heejin’s voice was just enchanting as it was the day before and if Hyunjin could listen to a sound for the rest of her life, Heejin’s voice would be her immediate choice.

 

It was a miracle how Hyunjin took in any information.

 

(It could be her fear of being even more of a burden to Heejin. Or embarrassing herself even further in front of her. Or it could be Hyunjin’s burning desire to impress the girl. In all honesty, Hyunjin knows it’s all of the above).

 

When Hyunjin’s phone rings again, she picks up and whisper-shouts into the phone, “I’m almost done!” It’s silent for a bit until Hyunjin replies again, “I won’t be late, Yeddeong. I’ll be there, don’t sweat.” When she turns around to face Heejin, the girl is looking at her expectantly with her paper in front of her. To Hyunjin’s relief, she only sees one “x” out of fifteen possible answers.

 

“You did well, Hyunjin. Just keep practicing what we started for chapter four and when you come back, I’ll start by grading whatever work you do.” 

 

As they pack up, Hyunjin waits for Heejin to finish zipping up her Stitch pencil bag before pushing in her chair. Walking to the door together, Hyunjin lightly tugs at Heejin’s shirt when the girl opens it, “Thanks for being so patient. It must’ve been hard teaching me.”

 

Heejin smiles and for the first time, it’s a genuine, honest to God shining, wonderful smile that makes Hyunjin’s heart flip, “You worked hard, Hyunjin. It’s easy teaching someone who wants to be taught.” Before Hyunjin can reply, her phone rings again.

 

Picking up and frustrated about the rude interruption taking her attention away from Heejin’s pretty smile, Hyunjin speaks through gritted teeth, “Holy , Yeji, I’m on my way! Tell the girls to get a head start on stretching in five minutes.”

 

Hanging up and noticing Heejin’s raised eyebrows, Hyunjin shakes her head while slinging her second bag onto her shoulder, “I have practice in thirty minutes and my coach hates it when we’re late to being fifteen minutes early. He has us run sprints for every minute we’re late and my co-captain just likes making sure we don’t have to run more than we already do.”

 

Heejin puffs out a breath, “Sounds strict.”

 

Hyunjin visibly shudders as the flashbacks of conditioning hit her—grueling, painful, vomit-inducing, soul- experiences turned into memories of relentlessly running drills and sprinting in hot summer heat. “Strict is putting it lightly.”

 

Heejin laughs and it sounds like the chiming of bells, the existence of a perfectly peaceful world where everything is just right—it makes Hyunjin feel like she would do just about anything her heart desired if it meant Heejin laughing. Perfectly aware of the heart eyes she is sending to the other girl’s way, Hyunjin shakes her head. Before getting a start towards the gym, Hyunjin fiddles with her fingers when Heejin looks back at her.

 

“Thanks for tutoring me, Heejin. Could I-, uh-, may I…” Clearing when Heejin patiently waits for her to continue, “I like you. As my tutor. Can I get your number? Because I like you as my tutor and don’t-”

 

(Heejin breathes a chortle of a laugh and Hyunjin thinks she’d embarrass herself over and over again if it meant Heejin would laugh like that).

 

Taking the phone Hyunjin had out, the Contacts app open, Heejin starts typing down her number, “Just text me whenever you need me and we’ll figure something out.”

 

Hyunjin only nods as Heejin walks away, her charming smile being the last thing Hyunjin sees.

 

(When Hyunjin hobbles into practice two minutes shy of being late to being early with one ankle brace on, her fingers tying up the other, Yeji breathes a sigh of relief at the sight of Hyunjin coming from the locker rooms. Lacing up her shoes, Hyunjin has to dodge an empty Gatorade bottle when she teases her co-captain, “Bet you broke a sweat, huh? Thought I was gonna be late?”

 

Yeji side-eyed their coach and spoke quietly to avoid her voice reaching his ears, “Coach walked in all pissed, clutching his towel. You know he’s whistle happy when he’s like that.”

 

Paling at that, Hyunjin closes her eyes to savor her last minute of relaxation before an exhausting practice; the sound of a sharp whistle feels like a stab of reality. Begrudgingly running onto the court and getting into the stretching circle, Yeji bumps into her shoulder as if to say, “We’re in this together”).

 

~.~.~

 

The next time Hyunjin contacts Heejin, it’s Friday night after a much easier basketball practice.

 

Kim Hyunjin: hi heejin! it’s kim hyunjin! the girl you’re tutoring! i was wondering if you’re free anytime this weekend to meet up? i did a couple of problems for practice!

 

It takes Heejin two hours and twenty-seven minutes to reply—not like Hyunjin was counting or anything—and when Heejin’s name pops up on her screen, Hyunjin nearly drops her phone on her face.

 

Jeon Heejin: hey hyunjin! im free sunday morning and afternoon! i have things to do in the evening so i’ll be busy then >.<

 

Usually, weekends blow by for Hyunjin, but something tells her that Sunday will feel like it is eons away. The thought of seeing Heejin soon makes the butterflies in her stomach flutter, a nervous feeling that makes Hyunjin giddy. Thinking of ways to make the time go by, Hyunjin looks at the basketball in the corner of her room. Sometimes, her Saturday’s are spent doing some practice drills with Yeji at the park by their house, but before Hyunjin can text her friend, her phone dings.

 

yeddeong: you know the show jisu’s been practicing for? it’s tomorrow and she invited you!! it’d be nice for her to see as many familiar faces as possible!!

 

Hyunjin briefly remembers Hyejoo talking to her about her parent’s cafe proudly hosting Jisu’s set and how excited the girl seemed to hear something new at work other than the same old Spotify playlist Chaewon puts on.

 

kim hyunjin (basketball): i’ll be there! it’s been a while since i’ve hung out with your friends :D 

 

yeddeong: wanna shoot hoops before her show tho 👀

 

kim hyunjin (basketball): you don’t even have to ask 🏃 

 

As Saturday morning comes, Hyunjin pulls up to her usual spot at the park. Finding that Yeji’s car is already parked with the girl leaning back in her seat, her eyes closed, and her body lazily relaxed, Hyunjin decides to call her instead of tapping on her window.

 

(The last time she startled Yeji like that, she had almost peed her pants and whacked Hyunjin hard enough on her arm for her to have a bruise for the next week).

 

Watching as her friend nods awake and blindly pats for the vibrating sensation on her seat, Hyunjin shouts into the phone when Yeji picks up despite finding her friend outside of her car, goofy smile on her lips, “Yeddeong! Wake up!” Yeji grumbles into the phone before reaching for her bag and getting out of the car.

 

“Did Jisu keep you up late last night?”

 

Yeji pushes her shoulder, her sleepy eyes adjusting to the sunlight, “Shut up. You’re just jealous you don’t have a girlfriend that sings you to sleep.”

 

(Hyunjin hates that Yeji knows her so well). 

 

“Whatever. We can’t all be lucky and find the loves of our lives so easily.”

 

Yeji looks up while stretching out her calves, bright smile on her lips at the thought of Jisu. “I just love rubbing my happy relationship in your face. Maybe it’ll get you to actually do something with Heejin instead of just sneaking books into her locker like a loser.”

 

Throwing her athletic tape at her friend, Hyunjin huffs, “Shut up! She makes me so nervous. If I told you how horrible detention went with her, you’d never let me live it down.”

 

Taping her jammed middle finger together with her ring finger over a layer of pre-wrap, Yeji rips the tape with her teeth before throwing the roll back, “But, how about tutoring? How did that go?”

 

Hyunjin shrugs as she stretches out her arm, “We just talked about calculus for two hours. She probably thinks I’m helpless.”

 

Yeji hums and shrugs, “Probably. You are really bad at math.” 

 

Hyunjin is indignant when she whines, “Hey! You’re bad at math too; you can’t say !”

 

Yeji laughs and starts dribbling to the middle of the court, “Yeah, I’m bad at math. That’s why I’m taking AP Stats. Everyone knows that statistics is so much easier than ing calculus.”

 

Whining again and showing her hands for a pass and if it weren’t for the years spent practicing besides Yeji, the chest pass she bullets towards her would have knocked the air out of her. Playing around until kids started filing into the park, Yeji stops Hyunjin before she gets into her car, “What’s the next book you’re planning on giving Heejin?”

 

Hyunjin smiles before taking a book out from her car and handing it to Yeji, “I just finished this and it made me feel so many things and it hits pretty close to what I care about.” Reading the premise of the book, Yeji raises her eyebrows.

 

“The main character is non-binary? That’s awesome!”

 

Hyunjin slides into her car and starts her engine, “I hope Heejin likes it. I left some annotations throughout the book this time.”

 

Before leaving, Yeji rolls down her windows before shouting at Hyunjin over her music, “Like usual, Jiwoo will let me know when she’s able to sneak it in and I’ll let you know.”

 

Hyunjin rolls her eyes at the smile on the girl’s lips, “You make it sound like we’re dealing.”

 

Yeji’s smile, goofy and big, has a playful tilt in her voice when she replies, “Yeah. We are. Books.”

 

~

 

After spending time to shower, getting some homework done, and relax, Yeji’s text serves to tell Hyunjin that she has arrived. Getting into the car after bidding goodbye to her parents, three girls are sitting in the backseat with the tallest one in the middle. 

 

Rolling down the passenger side window, Yeji’s smirk is teasing, “Hyunjin, your Uberpool is here.” 

 

(A chorus of whines comes from the backseat).

 

Hyunjin has only hung out with Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and Yuna a few times, usually after their home basketball games, but still, they greet her with warm smiles and happy voices. When Yeji starts to back out, Yuna has to lean her head on Chaeryeong’s shoulder to give the girl as much visibility as she can when she looks behind her.

 

“Yuna, why are you sitting in the middle?”

 

The girl pouts and Hyunjin finds it difficult to not coo at her, “I lost during rock, paper, scissors.” Before Yuna can whine even more, Ryujin’s phone dings and a smile blooms on her lips.

 

“Heejin’s already there. She said that Jisu’s so nervous that she might faint.”

 

Hyunjin freezes while Yeji breezily replies back, “Tell her we’re almost there. And that I’m bringing Jisu snacks.”

 

It’s like Hyunjin’s blood runs cold hearing Heejin’s name. Side-eyeing Yeji, the girl has a knowing and playful smirk on her lips. Closing her eyes and breathing deeply, Hyunjin makes a note to squeeze the fingers taped together as soon as Yeji is liberated from driving.

 

Chaeryeong chirps from the back, her head nodding to the music playing from Yeji’s stereo, “Hey Hyun, you know Heejin, right?”

 

(She most definitely knows Heejin. It’s not like she spent the last three years crushing on her or anything).

 

“She uh- she tutors me for AP Calc.”

 

Chaeryeong grimaces from the back, “Chaeyeon complains about that class all the time.”

 

Hyunjin sighs and looks back at the girl, her eyes warning the younger girl to never take the class when she is given the option to, “Rightfully so. It’s kicking my .”

 

Yuna brightens even more so when she comforts Hyunjin, “At least Heejin is tutoring you! She’s helping me with Algebra 2 and I swear she’s a better teacher than my actual teacher!”

 

Looking at the youngest through the rearview mirror, Yeji’s smile is fond and loving, “If anyone can work a math miracle, it’s Heejin.” Getting slaps from both Yuna and Hyunjin, Yeji is left laughing while rubbing at her shoulder.

 

When they finally arrive, Yuna seems to spill out of the car when she stretches out her legs, “Yeji, my body is not made for the middle seat of your car.” 

 

Yeji only scratches under her chin and coos at her, “Don’t lose next time, big baby.” Yuna slaps at her hand and playfully glares at her—it is the least bit threatening.

 

“I hate it when you call me that.” 

 

Chaeryeong pokes the girl’s cheeks and laughs when Yuna’s pout deepens, “On the way back, I’ll sit in the middle.” Dodging a kiss that Yuna gratefully sends, Hyunjin likes how comfortable it feels to be around Yeji’s friends.

 

Walking behind them with Yeji, Hyunjin pinches the girl’s stomach (and revels in how she yelps). “You knew Heejin was coming and didn’t think to give me a single warning?”

 

Yeji only giggles a teasing hehe before skittering away.

 

What a little .

 

Walking into the cafe after taking a moment to gather herself outside (in hopes to not make a fool of herself in front of Heejin again), there is a comfortable air that looms around. The lights are warm and Yeji sits at a piano with Jisu next to her, playing the sheet music in front of her. They’re good for each other, Hyunjin notes. Yeji, while capable of being a leader, has tendencies of youthful joy and unbridled innocence. She enjoys playing around and being in the company of close friends and thrives under their attention—something Jisu seems to have an abundance of for Yeji. Yeji is patient, selflessly caring when it comes down to it. She spent years pining and waiting for Jisu to return her love, but, with how Jisu looks at her now with stars in her eyes and how she smiles when Yeji laughs and buries her face into her neck, Hyunjin doesn’t need Yeji to tell her that the waiting was worthwhile. 

 

Looking around the cafe, Heejin is sitting at the edge of the stage talking with Ryujin, her legs lightly swinging when she tucks her hair behind her ear. Shoulder to shoulder and laughing, probably at a joke Ryujin made, there’s a part of Hyunjin that is jealous—jealous that Ryujin could talk to her so easily, be the one to make Heejin laugh, sit so close to her without feeling like she was standing at the very edge of a cliff, be the one that Heejin leans her head on when she laughs even harder. 

 

Ryujin is a natural charmer. She’s effortlessly cool and she carries herself with the utmost relaxed confidence. And then she smiles, the genuine and happy one she does, and it’s like watching the sun shine on a pleasant day. From past experiences of hanging out with Yeji and her friends, Hyunjin has come to see that Ryujin has a quiet way of caring and looking out for her friends—a quality that makes even the four of them swoon.

 

(Theoretically speaking, falling for Ryujin would be as natural as spring bringing the blossoming of flowers).

 

Interrupting her moment of brooding (and downspiral of confidence), it’s like being met with an abundance of sunlight when Jiwoo approaches her with her bright smile. Trailing her, Jungeun is quickly whisking into a cup.

 

Knowing Jiwoo through Jungeun, Jiwoo greets her like a loving best friend despite only meeting Hyunjin a few times, “Hey Hyun!”

 

(At this point, Jungeun stops her whisking to pout at the pain in her arms before slinging one of them over Jiwoo’s shoulders, the other girl taking over and furiously whipping into the cup).

 

“Dalgona coffee?”

 

Jiwoo’s tongue peeks out from behind her lips in concentration. “Hyejoo bet us that we wouldn’t be able to whip it in 20 minutes and it’s not like we were gonna let that brat think that we can’t without trying.”

 

Hyunjin looks into the cup and notices signs of bubbling, but it’s far from the frothy and airy appearance that she has seen all over social media. “How long has it been?”

 

Jungeun frowns before mumbling, “Ten minutes.”

 

Chuckling at their misfortune, Hyunjin only pats their shoulders before walking over to Hyejoo manning the register. “You just like to watch Jungeun and Jiwoo suffer, huh?”

 

Hyejoo smirks at that and shrugs her shoulder feigning innocence, “They could’ve just said no.” Hyunjin rolls her eyes, seeing through her facade.

 

“That’s Jungeun we’re talking about here. She physically cannot refuse a challenge and we both know that Jiwoo will follow her to the ends of the earth if Jungeun wanted her to.” 

 

Hyejoo smiles broadly with mirthful eyes, “I know.”

 

Shaking her head and playfully pointing at Hyejoo, Hyunjin supposes that this was one of the reasons why Hyejoo had snuck her way into her heart. The girl, despite sleeping for fourteen hours a day if she could, has a lively way of looking at life. Ambitious and confident, but still, somewhat unsure, Hyejoo has a way of looking at uncertainty in the eyes without an ounce of fear.

 

(Hyunjin wishes she could do the same).

 

After ordering a drink, Hyunjin waits by the side while aimlessly scrolling through her Instagram feed. It’s relatively peaceful with the jazz music playing from the speakers and the smell of coffee wafting throughout the cafe always gave Hyunjin some kind of respite. 

 

“Hey stranger.”

 

Hyunjin knows that voice, it’s one that she has committed to her memory within the first thirty minutes of hearing it, one that she has lost herself into. Quickly pocketing her phone and meeting Heejin’s soft doe eyes, the other girl is smiling at her (it makes Hyunjin’s heartbeat race by the tenfold) and it’s like looking at Aphrodite herself when Heejin tucks her hair behind her ears. (Hyunjin can’t help but to think about how cute the mole by her eye is, how charming it is as it sits right underneath her eye smile).

 

(Which by the way, Hyunjin swears that that eye smile could melt the coldest of hearts).

 

“Heejin! Hey! Didn’t know you’d be here!”

 

The girl leans against the wall beside Hyunjin and shrugs, “Jisu needed a guitarist and Jiwoo volunteered me. Not that I mind; I really like performing with them.”

 

(At this, Hyunjin can’t stop herself from imagining how it looks—feels—to be the one that Heejin would serenade songs to. It’s a dreamy vision of fluttering emotions and the beauty of being surrounded by a meadow of spring flowers. It makes her stomach flip and internally swoon).

 

Playing off the nerves bubbling up and ignoring how her legs begin to bounce, Hyunjin smiles teasingly. (Or at least Hyunjin hopes it comes off as teasing because as she discovered, whatever emotions she tries to convey to Heejin always comes out wrong). “Math, art, instruments, what can’t you do, Miss Extraordinaire?”

 

When Heejin laughs, Hyunjin blows out a breath of relief. It always feels like walking a tightrope talking to the other girl—breathless and calculating with her heart’s tremendous pounding echoing through her ears. Wanting to get everything right and fumbling every other step she takes, being beside Heejin and talking with her feels like a game of chance for Hyunjin, always hoping that she takes the right steps without shamefully falling off the rope.

 

Heejin shyly bumps her shoulders and it’s like Hyunjin can feel the warm heat rippling throughout her body when she flicks her gaze at the spot that Heejin had bumped, “For one, I can’t multitask. I heard that you’re really good at basketball. I feel like a newborn deer whenever sports are involved.”

 

It’s like Hyunjin’s mind goes a thousand miles per hour. Has she ever seen me play? Who told her I was really good? Oh God, if she watched me, I hope she didn’t see me airballing a shot; that’d be so embarrassing. Before Hyunjin can crumble into a pile of questions, Heejin sidles even closer.

 

“I overheard Yeji telling Jisu about your morning practice. You seem really dedicated.”

 

Hyunjin stops herself from audibly scoffing—it’s not exactly the right time or place to be unwinding all of her problems when it concerns the sport she excels at. Smiling, feeling the unease in it, Hyunjin looks towards the counter to check if her drink is ready yet. (It wasn’t). “It’s something like that.” The air shifts at the sudden drop of her mood. Attempting to salvage it, Hyunjin peps herself up and wears a brighter smile, “How about this? Tomorrow, after you save my and help me understand vectors and matrices, I’ll teach you some basketball things?”

 

Heejin shuffles her feet looking a bit uneasy and Hyunjin almost takes back her offer in exchange for apologies until Heejin beams, “It’s only fair that you teach me something too, right?”

 

Nodding almost like a bobble head, Hyunjin quickly recovers and flashes a confident grin, “Exactly right, Heej!”

 

Heejin seems a little taken aback by the nickname and Hyunjin wants to dig a hole and just lay in it until the world forgets about her, but Heejin’s eyes begin to sparkle with a certain fondness in them. Gesturing behind her with a seemingly charmed smile, Hyunjin can’t help but to feel giddy. “I’m gonna- Jisu’s set starts soon and I-”

 

Hyunjin subconsciously throws a thumbs up and a grin stuck between awkward and goofy.

 

(If anyone asks Hyunjin, it’d be one of the more cringe-worthy things she has done in her life, but, if anyone asks Heejin, she’d say differently).

 

Before Hyunjin can sink into the wall and pray to be into it, the barista calls her name and hates how Chaewon reads off the name on the cup despite knowing it’s for her. Hyunjin is not too fond of being called a furry, especially in public. But, at least Heejin wasn’t there for that.

 

(She’ll have to give Hyejoo a good noogie after her shift for that).

 

Meeting up at the front where Yeji and the rest of her friends were sitting and saying encouraging things towards Jisu, Heejin, and Jiwoo, it’s not a surprise that Jungeun is also there—still whisking into the cup—doing the same thing, albeit distractedly since the mixture has begun to froth the slightest bit. However, as the lights dim, the cup of coffee is long forgotten as Jungeun focuses her eyes on her girlfriend, the whole world’s amount of adoration shining through them.

 

Watching Heejin play guitar feels like something out of a fairytale. There is an elegance that radiates from her, an inimitable serenity that brings comfort to Hyunjin like the gentle rolling waves of a calm ocean. (That is not to say that Jisu or Jiwoo didn’t shine either, it’s just, it’s Heejin. Anywhere that she is concerned, she will be all that Hyunjin sees). And when Heejin sings, it’s like the melody of angels, a warm tone that soothes her like hot chocolate on a cold day. Listening to her with her eyes closed, it feels as if Heejin’s voice had a body—one with the right kind of comfort to just melt into—that holds Hyunjin in a safe embrace and a soft caress to help her forget about everything heavy that sits on her shoulders.

 

(Hyunjin wonders if it’s possible to fall in love with someone without ever really knowing them because Heejin feels like she could be the one for her).

 

As soon as Jisu comes down from the stage after finishing her set, Yeji is pulling her into a tight embrace and peppering proud kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, and her hair. Hyunjin thinks that Jisu wouldn’t have to do much for Yeji to treat her like God because, indeed, God is a woman, and to Yeji, She is standing right there in her arms with the cutest crescent moon-eyed smile and red blushing cheeks.

 

(Jungeun isn’t as public with her displays of affection, but that doesn’t stop her from putting Jiwoo’s arms around her waist before pulling her away into a private space, the other girl giggling into the back of her shoulder).

 

Watching Heejin packing up her guitar, it’s subconscious when Hyunjin reaches out a hand to help her down the steps when she finishes up. (And plus, if Hyunjin was consciously doing it, she would have at least wiped her clammy hands on her jeans before offering them to the girl because holding sweaty hands is just gross).

 

Picking at her nails and unable to meet Heejin’s eyes, Hyunjin hopes that Heejin can hear her past the overlapping chatter, “You were incredible up there.” Heejin comes closer, a hand by her ear, and her eyebrows in a confused furrow. (The close proximity makes the pounding in Hyunjin’s chest rattle against her ribs). Repeating the words again and hoping that she doesn’t sound as nervous as she feels, Heejin’s eyes seem to gleam like the stars, a grateful grin reassuring Hyunjin’s heart when Heejin thanks her for her compliment.

 

Trying throughout the night to spark and keep conversation with Heejin, Hyunjin can’t help but to find it difficult as the girl’s attention strays everywhere, her focus floating between all the friends there praising and conversing with her. But, there are the times that Heejin’s eyes will come to find hers because Hyunjin is already looking at her—go figure when she is talking to someone else and she’ll smile and it’ll make Hyunjin feel a little less left out despite her talking with everyone else too).

 

As the cafe comes to a close and all the patrons slowly leave, Yeji pulls her to the side, “I gave Jiwoo the book. She said she’ll try to put it in her locker on Monday.”

 

Shifting on her feet and darting her eyes toward the girl playing with Jungeun’s hair, Hyunjin speaks lowly, “Did she ask who’s giving you the books again?”

 

Yeji shakes her head and leans it against the wall, “She only asked once and when I refused to tell, she never asked again. But I know that she’s curious.” Finding Heejin alone and sitting next to Ryujin and talking to her with a shy smile on her lips, Hyunjin feels a bit of her heart sink.

 

“I wonder who she thinks it is.”

 

Yeji sighs and crosses her arms, “When she asked the first time, she guessed Ryujin. And it’s not like I couldn’t tell her no. You told me to not say a single thing, so I just kept quiet.”

 

And it makes perfect sense that Jiwoo would have that assumption. Ryujin is a proud member of the Literature Club, her Instagram feed usually about the books she reads and the occasional book review on Instagram TV. Ryujin and Heejin had been friends since Ryujin’s freshman year, meeting the girl one afternoon by peeking her head in during a Literature Club meeting. And with Yeji giving the books to Jiwoo, it makes sense that Ryujin could be the one giving her the books because Yeji and Ryujin were friends long before high school. It would be fair to guess that Yeji is just fulfilling some kind of best friend duty. (Which she is it’s just a different friend). But, at the same time to Jiwoo’s benefit, it’s not like anyone else knew about Hyunjin’s crush on Heejin other than Yeji. It also doesn’t help Hyunjin’s case when Ryujin seems to mindlessly flirt with Heejin whenever they’re together—the dots just seem to connect.

 

“Ryuddaeng hasn’t told me anything, but there is a chance that she could like Heejin too. She talks about her often. Highly, too. And, you know that I love you, Hyun, but I also love Ryujin and I won’t get in the way if she does end up liking Heejin and doing something about it.”

 

Hyunjin gets it because Ryujin is so worthy of love. So why in the world would Yeji get in the way of that? Hyunjin could never be angry at her for standing by what is right.

 

Falling into the wall and exhaling deeply, Hyunjin lightly bumps Yeji’s shoulders, “I understand, Yeddeong. And I’m not mad at you for it. You’re being a good friend and that’s all I’d ever want you to be for Ryujin. She deserves that much.”

 

Yeji smirks, a playful glint in her sharp eyes, “But, that doesn’t mean that I’m not rooting for you either. Kick your into gear, Hyunjin. It’s senior year, you’ve liked her since the beginning of freshman year, before you got all popular or whatever, and have liked her since. Don’t let this year go by without shooting your shot. And plus, if worse comes to worst, it’s our last year; you might never see her again.”

 

Frowning at the idea of never seeing Heejin again, Hyunjin can feel how her eyebrows furrow at the thought, “But I don’t want to never see her again.”

 

Pushing off the wall and walking backwards towards her friends, Yeji is still just as playful when she shrugs, “Then let’s hope that the worse doesn’t come to worst.”

 

Following her and bumping into her shoulder, Hyunjin scoffs out a laugh, “Thanks for the pep talk, coach.”

 

(Yeji promptly shoves Hyunjin hard enough for her to stumble, an indignant “Shut up!” falling from pouty lips).

 

~.~.~

 

Waking up at seven in the morning to play basketball is something Hyunjin doesn’t mind doing, and in fact, has done numerous times before. But, waking up at seven in the morning to get ready and to do math had Hyunjin yearning for her bed and soft blankets. But then again, the only reason why she was getting ready at 7AM for a tutoring session that starts at 10AM was to get her together and do some extra math problems. (And to maybe straighten her hair because it was a little too messy for her taste. Looking sloppy in front of Heejin is just something Hyunjin doesn’t want to do).

 

Hyunjin doesn’t normally try this hard—straightening her hair and doing extra work, math nonetheless—but more than anything, she wants to impress Heejin. Something like trying to desperately cancel out at all the times she embarrassed herself in front of the other girl in the past.

 

Arriving twenty minutes early (because punctuality is the number one sign of respect) (but also to give Hyunjin some time to hype herself up and beg to the universe that she won’t psych herself out when she’s alone with Heejin), Hyunjin fiddles with her phone in her car. Claiming a table by the basketball courts once ten minutes passed, Hyunjin can only tap her pencil against her notebook in anticipation.

 

Hearing the tell-tale rattling of a skateboard on blacktop, Hyunjin’s heart just about stops when her eyes trail up to find the woman she had just been thinking of. Wearing a mustard beanie, glasses, and an oversized flannel, Hyunjin is stuck between staring in awe and wanting to pinch the girl’s cheeks when Heejin sends a happy grin her way.

 

(Hyunjin didn’t think Heejin could get any more attractive, but it’s like everytime she sees her, she finds out how wrong she is each time she sees her).

 

“You skateboard too?” Heejin shrugs, smiling shyly at the awe in Hyunjin’s voice.

 

Sliding into the table bench and slinging her backpack off her shoulders, Heejin pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose when they slip, “I only live a couple minutes away and I didn’t wanna bother with my car.”

 

Rising an eyebrow at the thud her backpack makes on the table, Hyunjin balks when she lifts the heavy bag, “You skateboarded here carrying all of this on your back?”

 

It’s the first time Hyunjin sees Heejin blush and the sight of her embarrassed smile makes her heart do somersaults.

 

“I mean, on top of the textbook, I just figured that while I wait for you to do some practice problems, I’d do some sketches so I brought my art stuff.”

 

Feeling guilty, Hyunjin sighs, “Let me drive you home when we’re done and if we do this again, I’ll pick you up so that you don’t have to worry about your car or carrying this much weight on your way here.”

 

When Heejin tries to refuse, the glare Hyunjin gives her shuts her up, the same pink blush dusting her cheeks.

 

Finally settled in with Heejin’s textbook open to the practice page and her own notebook of work in front of her, Hyunjin flips her own notebook open, slides it to Heejin, and anxiously watches as Heejin grades her work. Doing well enough that she only misses two problems out of the fifteen Heejin assigned, Hyunjin has to remind herself to focus on the textbook when Heejin begins to teach her the next lesson.

 

Except, it’s so easy to get distracted because Heejin’s lips look so mesmerizing and her warm brown eyes turn into pools of honey when the sun begins to shine through the clouds. Her voice is heaven and even the way she writes is so pretty and Hyunjin could count the amount of times Heejin has swiped her tongue across her lips to wet them and how she constantly adjusts her glasses when they fail to stay in place.

 

“So, did you understand that?”

 

Frantically trying to fight through her haze and grasp what Heejin was saying, Hyunjin hopes that she wasn’t too lost in her gazing that she didn’t register any of the information Heejin was relaying, “Uh- so if r equals n, it means that the system has a unique solution?”

 

Heejin grins at her and it’s a rush of validation because for one, she understood math (which, holy , is a feat on its own), and secondly, Heejin looks so proud of her and Hyunjin wants to find every single way she can get Heejin to look at her like that again.

 

“Right! So, if we look at determinants and A having a determinant of zero, this means that?”

 

Feeling genuinely confident in her answer and chiming in without an ounce of hesitation, “A doesn’t have an inverse. It’s singular and rank A should be less than n which means that it doesn’t have a full rank!”

 

Beaming at her with the same proud smile that the sun would be jealous of, Heejin coos at her teasingly and lightly pats Hyunjin’s head, her fingers lacing through her hair as they leave.

 

(Hyunjin pretty much dies in her spot, her heart frozen in its place from shock).

 

“You’re getting the concepts really well, Hyun!”

 

Hyunjin just nervously giggles—Hyunjin doesn’t know the last time she has giggled like this—and hopes that Heejin doesn’t see the panic in her eyes. “Having a great teacher really helps, so, thank you, Heej.”  

 

Heejin blushes again, a sight that Hyunjin only get