Ever since Changsub was casted in a musical, his fellow members barely see him due to his hectic schedule. It wasn’t new to them. They had gotten used to it whenever a member has a personal schedule. Except for one, who have grown fond of the latter. He terribly misses his hyung. The only way he can see him is by staying up late and wait until he comes home. They can’t even have a proper conversation because once he got home, he directly goes to bed, worn out because of rehearsals. “Poor Changsub hyung.” Sungjae would always mutter. But the younger one became grumpy recently. It all started when his favorite hyung started hanging out with his castmate, Jung Daehyun, whom Sungjae knows. It’s not that his jealous or anything, they’re all friends with B.A.P members anyway, it’s just that .. yeah he’s jealous. His hyung spends more time with him even after rehearsals. Don’t get the wrong idea, Sungjae doesn’t have anything against Daehyun. He even thinks Daehyun is a nice hyung. It’s just that whenever he got the chance to talk to Changsub, he’d often hear talks about the musical and mostly about Daehyun. The only thing he can do is pretend to be interested, even when he’s already fuming inside, 'Hyung what about me?! Don’t you miss me? Won’t you even ask how my day went? Well, nothing much. All I did was think about you .. hyung!!!!!!!' he screams internally. He kept on telling himself that everything will be back to normal once the musical finishes, that months from now his Changsub hyung will be back by his side. But he was wrong, after the musical’s final show, what he expected to happen after that didn’t go according to what he wanted it to be. He felt robbed, someone took his hyung away. He won’t stay still, he want his hyung back.

× × × × × × ×

“Kamjagiya! What are you doing here Sungjae-ah? You almost gave me a heart attack.” said Eunkwang, putting his hand on his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart. Who wouldn’t get frightened when you’re only trying to get a glass of water but sees someone sitting immobile on the couch in the dark, plus it’s two in the morning. Two in the morning! Sungjae just stared at him. “Hyung, do you have Daehyun hyung’s number?” he said nonchalantly.

Eunkwang scratches his head. “I don’t, but I have Youngjae and Himchan’s num-”

“Great! Can I have it?” Sungjae interrupted, tapping his phone impatiently.

After getting the numbers, he immediately tries to call them. However, no one is picking up. “Hyung are you sure these numbers are working?” Eunkwang nods at him. “Why aren’t they answering then?” Sungjae restlessly tries dialing again and again.

Eunkwang starts to yawn and puts his hand on Sungjae’s shoulder. “It’s past 2 am already, they’re probably asleep by now. Why do you want to call them so bad?” he asked, quite worried about the maknae’s weird behavior.

“Changsub hyung is still not home, I want to know where he is. I can’t contact him.” the younger one responded, sounding anxious.

“What does it have to do with B.A.P members?” Eunkwang is now getting confused. Did they do something to Changsub?

“He’s probably with Daehyun hyung .. I just want to know where he is.” Sungjae sighed, his shoulders dropping. He stayed awake that late, waiting for his certain hyung that is missing from their dorm right now.

“Don’t worry he’ll be back, you need rest now Sungjae-yah. By the time you wake up, he’s already here.” Eunkwang coaxed, guiding Sungjae back to his room. “Don’t worry too much, Changsub-ah won’t like it when you do that.” his hyung said before closing the door. But no, Sungjae won't stay still. He continued dialing the numbers that he got. Time check, 2:23am and he’s still persistent even if the persons he’s trying to call are probably sleeping soundly. He’s never been that way before. “Changsub hyung, look at what you’re making me do. I think I’m going crazy!!!” Taking a deep breathe to calm himself, he had finally decided to dial the numbers one last time and he’s going to stop. That's it. Himchan first, he’s really asleep. Then Youngjae ..

“Oh my god!!! Youngjae hyung thanks for answering.” Sungjae was overjoyed when the other line picked up his call. Not giving a damn that he might awaken his other hyungs with his loud voice.

“Who’s this?” an exhausted voice answered him.

“It’s Sungjae. Yook Sungjae.”

“Sungjae? Whoa, I just noticed all your missed calls. This seemed very urgent, did something happen? Something I can help you with?”

“This is embarrassing ..” he hesitated for a while, “ .. Changsub hyung is not yet home and I can’t contact him. I’m guessing he’s with Daehyun hyung. I don’t have his number and I was hoping to ask it from you.” Sungjae bit his lip, his embarrassment wanting to eat him alive.

“Oh .. hold on, I’ll try to call him.” The call ended briefly.

Sungjae tried calling Changsub again, still unattended. Youngjae called him back this time. “I can’t contact him too. His phone must be off or something.”

Sungjae is starting to get worry again. Also feeling jealous at the same time. “Do you have any idea where could they be hyung?”

“Unfortunately no, are you at your dorm right now?”

“Yes hyung.”

The other line went silent for a while, it seems that Youngjae was thinking of something. “Will that be okay if we meet at the convenient store near Myeong-dong?”

Sungjae didn't hesitate. “Sure hyung. I’ll just message you as soon as I arrive.” then they both hang up. Sungjae changed quickly and stealthily left their dorm.

By the time he arrived at the convenience store, it was already 2:52am. Youngjae arrived three minutes later. “I’m sorry for calling you so late hyung. I disturbed your sleep.” Sungjae bows his head repeatedly, feeling sorry for being so frantic that he had disturbed someone.

“Hey! No need to do that Sungjae.” Youngjae said, stopping the younger one from bowing down too much that he might break his neck. “Actually I’ve been tossing and turning, trying my hardest to sleep. Good thing I checked my phone and answered your call. I actually have the same problem.” Youngjae sighed.

“What do you mean hyung?” Sungjae asked, confused and intrigued at the same time. Same problem? What could that be?

“For the past few months Daehyun hyung’s been away because of rehearsals and shows, the members do miss hanging out with him. I was really glad when I learned that he’s going to work with Changsub hyung, he can have someone to talk to comfortably. I wasn't wrong. Both enjoys having endless conversations as they talk too much, they got close in no time. After the musical I thought he’ll spend the whole day back on being a couch potato, or hang out with me, I mean everyone. But no, he barely stays in the dorm. “I’m going out” “I’m going to meet Changsub hyung” blablabla it’s making me crazy and I'm tired of it.” Youngjae stooped down in the table.

“Daebak!” Sungjae exclaimed, his mouth opening widely from the shock. “Not to misunderstood something hyung but did you mean .. you .. are you .. you too?” he can’t seem to directly say what’s on his mind because of astonishment. Youngjae just looked straight into his eyes and said, “Yes Sungjae. I’m sure it goes the same to you.”

Sungjae's mouth is still hanging open. His brain is having difficulty to process the revelation he just heard. He's not the only one who's going crazy after all. They both tried calling the persons that are causing them to be distraught. Still, no answer.

“I’m sure they’ll be home before everyone wakes up anyway. So, shall we take this as a cue and head back to our dorms? It’s already 3:30am.” Youngjae said. The younger one stayed silent for a while, considering what his hyung had told him. Even Eunkwang assured him that way. But why does he feel the urgency to see his hyung again? He knows exactly what it is, it’s when his jealousy takes over. He’s so used to all the attention that Changsub had given him. Now it’s given to someone else. So, no. He’s going to take back whats his, even if he’s the only one who knows about it. He’s stubborn after all.

“I’m going to look for them.” he finally said after his quick deliberation.

“But it can be difficult. We can’t even contact them. We don’t have any idea on their whereabouts. Unless ..” Youngjae thinks deeply.

“Unless what hyung?” Sungjae eyes is fixated on him, anticipating a sensible answer.

“We report them missing in the police station, then the police can help us look for them?” Youngjae deadpanned. “I’m just kidding. That’s absurd.” he added. He only wanted to lighten the mood before they both become insane.

“I really want my hyung back.” Sungjae whined, not giving a single damn if he's acting childish at the moment.

“Me too, Sungjae. I really do.” Youngjae empathized with him.

The two of them started walking around in the streets, hoping to get a glimpse of the two persons they are looking for. Peeking at the open establishments that they passed by. Not really suspicious at all, considering that both of them are idols and it’s past three in the morning.

They failed to contact the two again. “Why are they turning their phones off? What are they up to?” Youngjae was getting frustrated as he angrily taps his phone. “Should we get worried though? What if something really happened to them?” his frustration was quickly replaced with worry.

“Hyung, this isn’t the first time they did this. I lose plenty hours of sleep just because of this. At one point, I don’t know what’s real anymore. Changsub hyung is near yet so far. You know what I mean? He’s like a ghost, I don’t see him but I can feel his presence. Aish! I think I’m not making sense anymore. Should I get help?” Sungjae wondered, twirling his hair.

Youngjae laughed at him. “You really need to see Changsub hyung asap, I don't think I can handle you by myself once you flipped out."

“But first, I need coffee.” Sungjae said, dragging Youngjae inside a coffee shop.

After getting their coffee, they continued their pursuit in finding their hyungs.

“Don’t you think they’re partying somewhere?” Youngjae absentmindedly took a sip of the steaming hot coffee, flinching instantly as it hits his tongue. He mentally cursed himself for his recklessness. 'Aish! Youngjae pabo-yah!'

“Changsub hyung isn't really the partying type of person. But why aren't they inviting us? We're all friends. Not just the two of them," Sungjae noticed how the coffee tastes much bitter than the usual, just like his feelings. "Ilhoon hyung asked him if maybe we all could hang out with you guys. Changsub hyung just ignored him. No one even dared to ask why he often hangs out with Daehyun hyung. They thought they are just being friendly to each other. Not suspicious at all, especially when you spend almost every day with the same person. It’s totally fine. Totally understandable. They are just being friends.” Sungjae grumbled, he can feel his face reddening.

Youngjae had a stoic expression on his face. “What you said made sense at all. What if there’s really going on with the two of them? What if they are da---” he was interrupted by a hand that's now covering his mouth.

Sungjae shakes his head nonstop. “Hyung! Don’t go in there, I’m begging you. Don’t say it.” his face is now red as a tomato. “Please don't say it.” he begged, his voice cracking from the emotion he's suppressing. He lowered his head and became silent.

Youngjae called out Sungjae's name plenty of times but there has been no response. He even tried to shake him, but the younger one just stayed immobile with his head down. ‘What the hell is happening?’ He's starting to get alarmed. Did Sungjae's battery ran out already? He's already thinking of calling Eunkwang to ask for help, until he noticed that Sungjae is slowly raising his head to face him.

. What have you done to him Lee Changsub?

Youngjae was unprepared when Sungjae suddenly collapsed on him, bawling his eyes out. Youngjae did his best to console the younger one. They just stayed that way for a while. Good thing, there's no one around to witness Sungjae's melt down. Who knows what time it is. Sungjae is starting to feel better, he stops crying and wiped his tears. He then realized how silly and pathetic he's been acting. He laughed like there's no tomorrow. Youngjae looks at him horrified. He has seen enough in the past few hours that they've been together. Who would've thought that Changsub and dating is forbidden to be together in the same sentence. Youngjae had to learn it the hard way.

“Sorry for being such a pain in the , Youngjae hyung.” Sungjae sniffled, he wanted to bury himself alive from embarrassment.

“It's alright. I totally understand. I feel the same way,” Youngjae empathized. “with less crying though.” he chuckled.

They continued their pursuit in finding their hyungs. Both seemed lost as they don’t know where they are heading. Wandering around can be exhausting, so they decided to sit in the pavement. “We look pathetic.” Youngjae sighed, his eyes drooping. Sungjae nods in agreement. The sun will set soon and both of them are still wide awake.

“Hyung, how did you know that you have feelings for Daehyun hyung?” Sungjae asked out of the blue.

“It’s funny how I knew that the feelings were real just recently when he worked with Changsub hyung. He’s been friends with a lot of people and I don’t have any problems with that. But this one was different. For once I wanted to be selfish and not to share him with anyone. But we barely even see each other as he often leaves. I forgot when's the last time we had proper conversation. I've been sulking these past few days, but what made it hilarious is how the members tried to decipher why I'm acting that way. Himchan hyung said it has something to do with my hormones," Youngjae snickered upon remembering the reactions of the other members when Himchan said that. "We wanted to get mad at them, but we don't have the right. It's frustrating. How I wish we all can start over." Youngjae said, rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

“I understand what it feels like immensely. It's like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode, that's what it feels like. I guess mine detonated earlier than I expected." Sungjae suddenly heard a faint snore,  Youngjae is dozing off. His phone buzzed, ! Changsub hyung is calling.

“Sungjae? Is everything alright? I saw all your messages. Youngjae did the same to Daehyun too. What happened?” Changsub sounded worry on the other line.

Yup, their hyungs are together.

“Everything’s fine hyung. Uh, where are you right now?” Sungjae answered casually. “At a noraebang ..” He didn’t let Changsub finish talking. “Okay. Don’t leave hyung. Wait for us there.” he said before hanging up.

"Youngjae hyung it's time to go!" He has no problem waking the older one up. “Huh? Where are we going?” Youngjae jolted awake.

“We’re going to fetch our hyungs.” Sungjae grinned, excitement evident in his face.

Youngjae who's still half awake is struggling to keep up with Sungjae who's walking fast. 'How come he still have the energy to walk this fast?' Youngjae thought. It didn't crossed their mind to ride a cab going to the noraebang when it's quite far from their location. Due to lack of sleep,  their minds aren't functioning properly. They only realized how stupid they were after reaching their destination 18 minutes later.

After a flight of stairs, Youngjae was heaving. “I think I’m going to pass out from all those walking.” Sungjae started looking around. Few rooms are occupied. Peeking through the transparent doors, he finally saw the persons they’re looking for. But before he could open the door by himself, he was greeted by a baffled Changsub.

“Sungjae-ah what the hell happened?” but his eyes landed on the gasping Youngjae beside Sungjae. “Youngjae? You too? What are you two doing here?” Youngjae waved his hand as a response.

“Nothing happened.” Sungjae shrugged his shoulders, keeping a straight face.

“Really? Well, Youngjae really looks exhausted here. You haven’t answered my question yet, Yook Sungjae." Changsub eyed Sungjae suspiciously.

He invited both of them inside. Maybe to interrogate them or something. Daehyun was surprised to see the two of them. “It’s a bit early for a stroll, don’t you think? What brings the two of you here? What happened?” Daehyun asked, raising a brow.

Youngjae crossed his arms, wanting to scream 'both of you are the reason why we're here! If only both of you had any idea about what happened to us back in the streets!' but nothing came out from his mouth. He's really tired.

“Are you writing something?” Sungjae asked as he noticed all the crumpled papers on the table, with few drinks on the side as well.

“Yeah. Sort of. I mean we’re trying.” Changsub answered, scratching his head.

“About what?” Youngjae asked.

“About .. Yah! I know what you two are doing. Stop dodging our questions. No one has told us what really happened. First, why are the two of you together?”

'We should be asking you the same' Youngjae and Sungjae looks at each other. Trying to do telepathy or whatsoever. There’s no way they would spill the truth just like that.

“Well, I’m craving for some coffee so I decided to buy one, and I saw that Youngjae hyung was there. We had long conversation to you know, catch up about what's happening lately," Sungjae narrowed his eyes to Changsub, giving emphasis to the word lately which refers to their hyungs. Youngjae nods as a support.

Changsub was still unconvinced. “Just like that? What a coincident that Youngjae happens to be there at that time you went there. Second, both of you messaged us asking for our whereabouts. It seemed urgent that it made me worry if something happened back in the dorm or to the members. But both of you insisted that everything’s just fine. Care to explain?”  

“We’re just wor-- curious. Noticing that both of you are still not back in the dorm by the time we went out, we decided to maybe reach out and hang out with the two of you.” Youngjae answered this time, gazing at Daehyun.

“But both of you could just head back to the dorm instead of waiting for our response. Changsub hyung even managed to take a nap. I was preoccupied with writing, that’s why our phones are off. So,  the two of you are just in the coffee shop the whole time?” Daehyun asked, feeling bad for making them wait for a response.

Both nods in response. If only they could tell them how they wandered in the streets trying to look for them. If only Youngjae could tell Changsub about how Sungjae almost lose his sanity because of him. If only Sungjae could tell Daehyun that Youngjae dozed off in the streets because of him.

“But hyung out of all the places, why did you both chose a noraebang?” Youngjae was curious.

“We can stay here as long as we want. We can sing to our hearts content and we can get inspiration from the variety of songs. But as you can see, there has been no improvement so far.” Daehyun said, pointing at the crumpled papers on the table. Indicating all their trial and errors while writing.

'Wow, so they had fun by themselves. Not thinking of inviting us.' Youngjae felt betrayed, he wanted to have some fun as well especially with his hyung.

'They're having fun while we're losing our .' Sungjae felt bitter by just imagining how they're singing happily or simply laughing, while he embarrassingly wailed to Youngjae.

“Can we see what you had written so far?” Sungjae asked, reaching out for the paper. But Changsub was quick to take it before he does. “Nope.” was all he can say.

Sungjae yawned, causing a domino effect to everyone. They can feel their senses shutting down. “I think it’s time to go home.” the youngest of them all said, yawning constantly. Everyone agreed as it's almost 6am. The sun's already up.

They were all waiting for cab to take them home. Youngjae crouched down as he felt his knees started to give out. Daehyun crouched beside him. “Youngjae-yah, are you okay?” he asked the younger one. Youngjae only respond with gesturing an okay in his hand. He’s too exhausted that he can’t say anything. He feels like a walking zombie. Just then, a cab arrived. Changsub and Sungjae let Daehyun and Youngjae take it first as their dorm is on a different route and is quite far compared to theirs. They bid good byes.

Now, it’s only the two of them left. The younger one leaned on Changsub for support as he was drooping. “Hyung maybe we all could hang out next time.” Sungjae mumbled. “What is that?” Changsub wasn’t able to grasp his words.

“Hang out with the two of you next time.” Sungjae said, trying to make his voice louder.

“Sure, Sungjae.” Changsub said, patting his head. Smiling at him warmly.

“Hyung I mi-” Sungjae was cut off when the cab arrived. He was sleeping all throughout the ride. Changsub carefully wakes him up as they were getting near the building. He couldn’t help but to smile as he saw his favorite hyung the moment he woke up.

Changsub keeps on looking at younger one who was trailing behind him. “Are you okay Sungjae?” he asked as he noticed that Sungjae keeps on grinning. Sungjae gives him a thumbs up, still grinning. Is he drunk or something? Changsub thought.

“Good morning, Changsub. Good morning, Sungjae.” they were greeted by Minhyuk  as soon as the door opened.

 we're in trouble. “Good morning hyung.” they both said in unison.

“Where have you been?” Minhyuk asked, crossing his arms.

“Jogging?” Changsub answered with uncertainty. That was the first thing that popped into his mind.

“We did jogging hyung.” Sungjae backs him up, sounding firm.

“Really? You wore that for jogging?” Minhyuk looks at them from head to toe, until he directed his attention to their maknae. “A little bird told me how you were so agitated while asking for someone's number. By the time I checked your room to see it myself, you're already gone. What's so urgent about it that you have to leave at 2 in the morning?"

That little bird by the name of Eunkwang. Damn, eomma Minhyuk is back. Sungjae feels like he's in a hot seat right now, as all eyes are on him. “Hyung I can explain about that .." yawns ".. but not now, I really need sleep.”

“Alright. I need explanations from both of you actually. Especially you Changsub-ah.” Minhyuk dismissed them, noticing how awful Sungjae looks from lack of sleep.

Just like that, they immediately went to their rooms. Sungjae didn’t even bother to change his clothes and went to sleep right away. Changsub on the other hand took his phone and messaged someone.

Changsub:
Have you arrived at your dorm? 📨

Daehyun:
Yes hyung. How about you? 📨

Changsub:
Yes. I'm just wondering though. What made them become that exhausted? when all they did was drink coffee and talk. 📨

Daehyun:
I don't have the slightest idea hyung, but you're right. I even have to piggyback Youngjae because he passed out. 📨

Changsub:
Aww poor Youngjae. Minhyuk hyung is starting to get suspicious. I don't think we can hide this from them any longer. 📨

Daehyun:
It's bound to happen soon, hyung. What I'm afraid of is the aftermath. Youngjae is very special to me, and I don't want to ruin our friendship because of my feelings for him. I know it goes the same way with you for Sungjae. These feelings we have for them is fatal.
⚠️ Message not sent ⚠️


Uh-oh, big trouble is brewing.