“Huh? When did we do that?” I tilted my head in confusion, I don’t recall ever going down to a creek with Yerim and having a nice little picnic, even if it sounded like absolute heaven.

 

“We literally went two weeks ago! How do you not remember?” Yerim whined, leaning against my shoulder and playing with the sleeve of my sweater. We were sitting on the roof, talking away the night at Yerim’s house, doing what we usually do.

 

“Sorry! My memory’s just been getting really bad lately..” I chuckled, leaning my head against Yerim’s, serenely closing my eyes.

 

“Why? Is something wrong?” Yerim suddenly pulled away from me, worry coloring every part of her face, the cold rapidly spreading back to my side and replacing the warmth Yerim left behind, “Did you catch the star tear disease?” 

 

 “No! I don’t even have a crush on anyone at the moment!” I protested, opening up my arms and beckoning Yerim to come closer to me, “If I ever did have the star tear disease, I don’t know if I’d be able to tell you.”

 

“Why? I don’t think I would be able to cope with it if you never told me!” Yerim pouted, scooting closer to me and burying her face in the crook of my neck, putting her hands on my chest and playing with my sweater drawstrings, “I can’t imagine going through life without you.”

 

“Neither can I, but I just don’t want you to worry, Yerim.”

 

“Stop being so selfless! If you’re going through something tough, I’m here, your support..”

 

“I’ll try, okay?” I rubbed her back, letting out a calm sigh.

 

“Okay..”

 

I’m sorry.

 

—

 

“She’s so cute!” Yerim dreamily sighed, kicking her legs out into the air while she laid on my bed before staring up at the ceiling, “I think she might like me back!”

 

“I hope she does, you deserve it!” I sadly smile, feeling pain blossom in my chest and making my heart ache more than it ever has.

 

I wish I were her.

 

—

 

“Look at what Chaewon gave me today!” Yerim grinned holding up a hot pink stuffy, “It’s cute, isn’t it? A new addition to my collection!”

 

“I thought you didn’t like pink?” I tilted my head, gently taking the stuffy from her hand and inspecting it.

 

“What do you mean? It’s red.” 

 

“Oh. My bad.” I looked at the tag, signed From Chae <3 in black marker. My heart cracked, crumbling and breaking apart, “She has neat handwriting.”

 

“I know! I love it!” Yerim smiled,  taking back her stuffy and dreamily holding it close, “It’s nicer than your chicken-scratch handwriting.”

 

I let out a whine, lightly slapping Yerim on the shoulder as tears threatened to fall, “It’s not that bad!” 

 

She’s better than me.

 

—

 

-   Yerimmie   -

 

[ME, 5:34PM:] how’s dinner with Chae? ^^

 

[YERIM, 7:21PM:] It was great :D

 

[YERIM, 7:21PM:] I’ll tell you tomorrow!!

 

Please don’t. 

 

—

 

I don’t remember the last time me and Yerim sat on the rooftop together. I don’t remember what I got her for her 16th birthday. I don’t remember what she said to me yesterday. I don’t remember…

 

—

 

“Hyejoo!” Yerim called after me, running down the sidewalk. I spun around and waited for her, flashing her a small smile as I pulled an earbud out of my left ear.

 

“What’s up?” I ask once she finally catched up, slightly panting, her cheeks a light tint of pink.

 

“Why didn’t you wait for me?” She frowned, looking at me with a small pout, “You always wait for me!”

 

“Didn’t I send you a text saying I was gonna leave early during last period?” I furrow my eyebrows, starting to walk ahead slowly.

 

“No? We haven’t texted since lunch.”

 

“Huh?” I grabbed my phone from my pocket, scrolling through my conversation with Yerim, no trace of my text anywhere, “Weird.”

 

I avoided Yerim’s gaze, slightly speeding up. 

 

I just wanna go home.

 

I want to be around you, but I don’t. 

 

—

 

“Does this look good?” Yerim showed me her dress, a pretty light purple. We were chilling in her room, Yerim preparing for the prom at school.

 

“Don’t you think a stronger purple would suit your hair better?” I looked up at her, watching as her face slowly morphed in confusion.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“What?”

 

“Are you okay, Hyejoo?” Yerim asked again, with more force this time.

 

“Of course I am! What do you think?” I shoot back.

 

“You've been seeing colors differently and forgetting things a lot lately. Do you have star tear disease?” She put her dress down and walked towards me, cupping my face in her hands and forcing me to look up at her.

 

“No.” I look her directly in the eyes, trying my best not to blush, hurt and worry looking back at me.

 

“Okay.” 

 

I lied. I’m sorry.

 

—

 

“And the prom queen is..” Heejin started to announce, flipping up her card and dramatically getting closer to the mic, “Park Chaewon!”

 

Chaewon walked up to the stage, donning a beaming smile and a beautiful eden-green dress, “Thank you!” She said into the mic as put on her crown, standing to the side as the next queen was announced.

 

“Now for the second prom queen! Are you guys ready?” Heejin announced into the mic, smiling once she heard all the cheers from the crowd.

 

“I hope it’s me..” Yerim whispered from beside me, her words painfully stabbing into my heart.

 

“I do, too.” I smile at her, holding up my hand and crossing my fingers for her. She gave me a nervous grin, before Heejin started up again.

 

“The second prom queen is..” She paused, enjoying the suspense, “Choi Yerim!”

 

My breath caught in my throat, my heart dropping to the floor and smashing open.

 

Yerim looked at me with the happiest smile I’ve ever seen her with, waving at me and walking up the stage with a happy bounce in her step. She stood at the mic, looking at me proudly. I gave her the best smile I could muster in my state, my tears starting to fog my vision, Hyunjin looking at me in worry from a few feet away.

 

“Thank you, everyone! Love you guys!” Yerim said into the mic, putting her own crown on and taking Chaewon’s hand, walking down to the dance floor as music started to play in the gym.

 

A single tear dropped from my eye as Hyunjin dragged me away from the scene, my entire being numb.

 

What a fool, I am, falling for you while you fell for her.

 

—

 

-   Yerimmie    - 

 

[YERIM, 8:35 PM:] Where did you go? D:

 

[ME, 8:37 PM:] I went home.

 

[ME, 8:37 PM:] I almost had a panic attack from the sudden crowd, Hyunjin took me home

 

[YERIM, 8:38 PM:] Aw :c do you want me to come over?

 

[ME, 8:39 PM:] No! It’s okay. Enjoy your time with Chaewon!! ^^

 

[YERIM, 8:50 PM:] Will do! C:

 

You’re already leaving me behind.

 

—

 

I walked home from school alone the next day, secretly hoping for Yerim to come chasing after me as I walked down the sidewalk.

 

You never came.

 

—

 

I huffed out a puff of smoke, leaning against the back wall of the school and closing my eyes. Everything hurts. Everything never makes sense.

 

“Hyejoo?” I heard Yerim call my name in the distance, I didn’t acknowledge her.

 

I gripped my vape in my hand harder, praying Yerim didn’t see me just a few seconds ago. I kept my eyes closed, listening to the leaves rustling in the wind, trying to ignore my desperate heart as rapid footsteps approached me.

 

“Hyejoo!” Yerim breathlessly said, obviously standing next to me. I opened my eyes and looked up at her, my heart painfully clenching at the sight of her, “What are you doing?”

 

“Nothing.” I emotionlessly replied, uninterestedly looking off into the distance, watching a bird fly overhead.

 

“I saw you blow out that puff of smoke, that isn’t nothing!” Yerim cried out, confusion and anger evident in her soothing voice.

 

“It’s nothing now, isn’t it?” I sadly smiled, getting up from my spot and walking away, ignoring the way Yerim’s eyes pierced into my back as I walked away.

 

You stopped caring, didn’t you?

 

—

 

Yerim and Chaewon started dating today.

 

Tears streamed down my face, the taunting glimmer of the colorful stars shining in the moonlight as they fell from my face, the color of my world slowly fading away. 

 

You did.

 

—

 

I sat on the roof, blankly looking at the plain sunset. Yerim wasn’t with me. There was no meaning.

 

You stole my heart, and you stole my reds and blues.

 

—

 

Yerim stared at me in the hallway, glancing away as fast as she had in the first place when I met her gaze.

 

You might as well take my greens and purples, too.

 

—

 

I woke up, and could barely see the time on my alarm clock. What’s happening to me?

 

Why not take my pinks and oranges while you’re at it?

 

—

 

I woke up once more, only to see pitch black. 

 

You left me, and so did my colors.

 

—

 

“Hyejoo?” A voice said from in front of me, it was familiar, but I couldn’t pinpoint it.

 

“Who are you?” I replied back, turning my head in the direction of the voice, utterly confused when I was only met with heavy sobs, “Do I know you?” 

 

“It’s me, ”

“Choi Yerim.”

 

My memories burned a bright red and a magnificent orange, and you took them away from me.