It’s almost January, now. Her favorite month; simply because it’s the month of her birthday. Jisoo has always had a biased view towards January, and she always wishes it to be kind of all months. But, since last year, she does not know if the first month of the year will still be kind to her or not.

She can still remember them sometimes: his words against hers. He was so adamant on ending it without really telling her why. She hated it so much, still does. Jisoo is not clinging into her past, but sometimes it still hurts that he did not trust her enough to tell her the truth. And she knew—she knows that he was hiding something from her, whatever reason that drove Jinyoung to break up with her, she knows it can’t be something as frank as “My parents asked me to break up with you”. It is not an ungrounded opinion, too. Jisoo knows, or at least she thought she does, Jinyoung enough to know that he will not agree to everything his parents say just for the sake of it.

And he just had to break up with her when January was coming to an end, too. There goes her favorite month; tainted with the memory of an unfair breakup. He did not even give her a chance to speak. He just spoke whatever he had in mind and left without giving her time to process. What an . Jisoo hopes she means that; because deep down, she knows she does not.

She is not going to glorify Jinyoung just because their relationship is her first serious relationship (does that make him her first love?), but Jinyoung was a good guy to say the least. Sure, she did not expect him of all people to break up with someone the way he did. Jisoo had always imaginaed if they were to break up, it wouldn’t be that… unfair. She thought it would be something like they grew apart and decided it’d be best for them to break it off. She never thought it would be one way and cowardly from his side. But Jinyoung had treated her as good as he could.

She knew sometimes people think he might be a bit cold as a boyfriend, but he had his ways of telling her that he cared. And it was enough for her even though people couldn’t see it, it was their relationship anyway, what did it matter what people see? And this is not Jisoo’s attempt to make a good impression for her ex (who does that?), but she has always thought people tend to romanticize things too much. She does not care that they rarely celebrate things, or that he never makes any event for her, because she has never been into extravagant things. It was enough for her that he’s there. It’s the way he scolded her for missing meals, or the way he hugged her from behind when there’s only the two of them, or the way he’d leave kisses on her shoulder. Jisoo likes small, subtle things; and everything that Jinyoung did…was enough. He was a pretty good boyfriend even though they did not last that long—only a few months. But Jisoo had loved him with everything she had, and she’s glad she did. It matters a little that they ended the way they did, Jisoo had tried to do everything and it failed and that’s okay; at least she tried.

Now what brings all of this into her head again? Oh, right. She was walking down the city when she ended up in front of the book café they’d often go together. It has been so long since the last time she walked down the area and, before she knows it, she’s inside. Of all the things she misses the most about him, it’s this café. Jisoo has learned to let go of him and, so far, it’s been okay. The mention of his name does not affect her as much as it used to be. The book he gave her that’s sitting on her shelf does not bring tears to her eyes anymore. She has started to really let go of him and, knowing that seeing this café did not bring tears to her eyes (though she did blank out for a few seconds) is good news to her.

Jisoo decides to go through the shelves while she’s at it; see if there’s anything interesting even though she’s not really in the mood for reading as of now. When she does not feel like walking around anymore, she opts to order a drink to go. She does not think she can sit there by herself as of now.

“Good afternoon!” the cashier greets her.

Jisoo smiles at her, a glimpse of recognition blinks through her eyes before she replies, “Hi, can I have an iced dark chocolate to go, please?”

The cashier nods, puts her order in, then picks up her sharpie before saying, “Kim Jisoo, right?”

“Oh? Yes,” she chuckles a little.

“I remember you used to come often,” she says as she receives the bill from Jisoo. “I wondered why you stopped coming but I’m glad you do now. I hope you will start coming here again.” The cashier smiles at her.

Jisoo only laughs and then moves to the side to let the person behind her orders. She does not know if she has it in her to come there often, yet. But maybe she should start coming there again from time to time. They have mean drinks, anyway.

Jisoo rummages through her back to check her phone, wondering if anybody messages her while she was busy spacing out in the café, between bookshelves. She thinks she hears a soft ‘Kim Jisoo’ from the side but when she turns to the bar, her drink is still in the making. She shrugs to herself, thinking the barista is probably just talking on his own. But before she can turn her vision to her phone, she hears her name being called again, this time clearer and more… determined.

She could not mistake his voice for anyone else’s.

She turns to see Park Jinyoung in front of her, like he has not been gone months, like he has always been waiting to see her, like it was not him that broke up with her.

He gives her a very timid smile. Now what?