joohyun flips over the red container, its contents falling down carelessly and being blown by the wind. she empties it and sets it down before staring at the view presented before her.

a dark, illuminated city that seemed so lonely and distant to her. if one would see her right now, they would most likely think that she is marveled at the beautiful sight of the city that had gone to sleep. but no, they'd be wrong. although joohyun looks peaceful, her baby-smooth ebony hair flowing freely like a cape to her head, she is slowly succumbing to her self-destructive thoughts.

just then, seulgi appears.

"hey," seulgi leans on the cold metal bar that keeps them from falling at least forty feet high, "so you chose this place, out of all places," she giggles.

"what's so funny?"

seulgi laughs some more, her calm melodic voice not exaggerating one bit, "i just didn't expect to be brought to your apartment, out of all places."

"you said you wanted to see it. so here we are now," joohyun stared straight ahead, her vision turning blurry as she tries to keep the emotions locked away.

"well, that i did."

they kept silent for a while, simply staring at nothing and everything. joohyun likes to fool herself that she's happy at that moment spending time with seulgi.

she's been meaning to ask a question that lingered on her mind for a long time now, and it seemed like this was the right time to say it.

she might not even be able to say it anymore if she doesn't speak soon. so with much reluctance and fear, she forces herself to open .

"why'd you leave?" she finally faces seulgi this time, not even caring about the tears that dripped freely on her cheeks. that was the very least of her worries now.

"i couldn't do it anymore. you should understand that," seulgi holds out her hand to touch joohyun's, but the woman flinches away.

she shakes her head vigorously, not fully comprehending seulgi's words, "and so you leave? just like that? without a proper goodbye?" she's enraged now. her hands balled into fists.

"it's inevitable, hyun. and you know i can't just drop everything and say goodbye. i'm sorry, hyun, i'm really very sorry," she takes joohyun's arm and pulls her close, engulfing her in a tight hug. joohyun didn't even have the heart to protest anymore after seeing the tears in seulgi's eyes and instead wrapped her arms around the younger girl's waist as she bared her heart out for the girl.

"i miss you," she mutters as she hides her face on the girl's neck. she inhales the scent she had missed and sighs contentedly.

"i miss you too," seulgi chuckles, forgetting about her tears momentarily.

"please don't ever leave me. promise me you won't," she grasps the woman tighter, afraid that she might slip away. there was no response and so she slowly meets the girl's eyes. the younger woman tries to untangle herself from joohyun, but she begs her not to, "no. please, no. don't go, seulgi."

seulgi leaned back and held the woman by her shoulders, "i won't go anywhere, hyun. i'll be right here," and so she engulfs the woman in another hug and they forget about everything in the world. everything is on their side at this moment.

seulgi starts to hum joohyun's favorite tune and they both sway to seulgi's heavenly voice that echoes and creates a melody with their beating hearts.

it's as if all the good in the world rained upon them at this very moment. she truly misses seulgi, that's for sure. she misses having the woman by her side late at night, aimlessly walking around with their hands intertwined. she misses having the woman do silly things with her. she misses having the woman invite her to a silly date at the playground. she really misses her and she doesn't want to let go. not now, not ever.

seulgi lets go from the hug slowly, smiling assuringly at joohyun, "i have to go now, hyun. please take care of yourself."

joohyun looks at seulgi with puzzled eyes, wondering what seulgi was talking about, "huh? you said you weren't going to leave?"

"yes," seulgi smiles despite the fact that tears once more escaped from her, "i'll be right here," she presses her finger against joohyun's chest.

upon realization, joohyun shakes her head vigorously, choking back tears as it flowed uncontrollably, "no, please, seulgi... no... i love you seulgi... don't."

seulgi cracks a smile she never thought she could do, not after seeing the woman she loves crying like this. her voice cracking and joohyun desperately clinging onto her like she's her only lifeline.

"i love you too, hyun. but i need to go," she takes the woman in her arms and kisses her forehead, "please be strong for me, hyun."

"please, seulgi! don—"

seulgi gives her a small nod, and the air passes by the both of them quicker than joohyun realizes. the ashes flew freely in the wind, and she bids farewell to her lover.

"seulgi!" she shouts helplessly. she receives no reply. she holds on to the metal railing of her balcony for support as she leans on it, unable to control the crumpling of her chest. her tears flowed like a river in agony.

and as much as the beauty of the city can provide her with comfort, she is thankful that the city had gone to sleep.

so that the city would not have to know of a woman slowly dying inside as she holds on to whatever she can for dear life, pouring out her overwhelming emotions to the oblivious place that watches over her during the day.