Sad air breathed by the 20 year-old as he sat on the beach and gazed at the stars again, feeling the warm breeze blowing througouht his body and a soft caress along his skin. He closed his eyes, feeling the warmth wrapping his body immediately and he knew the beautiful voice was there again. It had been a month since he started talking to the strange voice in his head, yet he couldn't help it. He wanted to hear it every day, it was addictive. 

'Hey...' he whispered lowly, opening his eyes and looking around, hoping that this time he would see someone, but he was alone there. Again. 

'You were waiting for me?' the voice replied on a soft tone as usual

'Who else?' he boy answered and chuckled softly, closing his eyes and bringing his knees up to his chest as he rested his head on them and listening to the waves crashing in the sea. 

'I'm glad. I wanted to talk to you as well. How was your day?'

'Not too good. I had a fight with my brother again. He keeps telling me to stop coming here at night because it's dangerous, but it's not. Only if you were someone who wanted to do me bad, but you aren't, right?'

'Sungyeol, I am here ony for you. I am here to help you, why would you think I want to do you ?'

'Exactly my point...'

Silence. The wind blew through his hair and cleared his face, making him smile softly as he felt a soft touch on his cheek and down his arm. He knew it had to do with the voice, but he didn't dare say anything about it. He opened his eyes and the warmth disappeared. 

'Where are you now?'

'In my apartament. Gazing at the stars from the balcony. And you? the same place same spot I guess, right?'

'I want to meet you...I want to know things about you. I want to know you. At least tell me your name, please. You know everything about me, yet I know nothing.' he boy said sadly and lowly, afraid someone might hear him. It was strange seeing someone talking by himself in the night on a beach. 

'I can't. I'm sorry'

'Why? I will stop coming if you don't. I will stop answering you.'

'We both know you won't.'

Again silence. The boy sighed and looked away at the sea and wandered what was beyond it. Maybe happiness. 

'There's no such thing as happiness, Sungyeol.'

''Damn...I forgot you can read my thoughts as well. Why can't I read yours?'

'Because you don't try to.'

The boy avoided the subject and went back to the previous one. 'How do you know there's no such thing as happiness?'

A chuckled could be heard carried by the wind and he knew it was the man talking to him 'Happiness cames in peoples lives only in moments, yet people are selfish and don't appreciate it in that moment and regret it when it's already gone. They search for it all their lives, but never realize it doesn't exist a long-life full of happiness. Only moments. Sweet little moments full of joy and love that have to be cherished, but no one knows that. There are some that are aware of it, but they want more and more, until they realize that their lingering can bring them only pain and sadness. That is why we live, Sungyeol. From the day we are born we are persuing happiness. We are bound to die searching for it.' 

His words were sweet as honey, a melody to his ears. He loved to hear him talk. He would have given his whole life just to listen to that voice, but he wanted more. Yes, he was selfish, he wanted more.

'I am happy.'

'I know, but it will go away one sad day. The sun will stop shining and you...will lose'

He was stunned by the sudden statement. 'What?' he asked on a shaky voice. Did that mean he was going to disappear? Did it mean that...'When?'

'When you won't need this silly voice.'

'But can you tell me your name at least?' he asked on a desperate tone, getting up and looking around. Maybe he was close. Maybe he was lying about being at his place. 

'Why do you insist on having more and don't appreciate what you have now. Be happy that you can hear me at least and I can talk to you'

'Please, tell me your name...' he said, starting to hear his breath growing heavier.

'Stop searching for answers when their not there.'

'So you are here, you can see me.' he said running faster and looking around desperately. He wanted to see him, he needed to see him

'Look up on the cliff'

When the boy heard, he looked up, his eyes roaming all over the cliffs and started panicking. 'I don't see you, where are you?' he said almost sobbing and walked slowly, feeling his knees shaking

'Calm down, Sungyeol. Calm down or I will have to disappear if you don't.'

The boy kept silent for a while, trying to relax and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply.

'Now open your eyes and looked to the furthest right cliff' the voice whispered softly and as the boy opened his eyes he looked to where he was told to. There was a sillouhette, standing up on the cliff, making the boy widen his eyes. He was left speechless as he saw the one up there waving at him. 'Is that you...the one waving?'

'Yes, who else could be waving at you?' the voice's chuckle could he heard again as if echoing from up there. 

''Will you wait for me to get there? Please, I want to see you'

'Not now' the voice replied as the man up there, started fading in the thickness of the fog. 'Sunggyu' he added as a last reply in the night and stopped saying anything else except 'Good night and sweetest dream'

Sunggyu? So that was his name? The boy smiled being really happy in that moment because he could catch a glimpse of the man. So he was real, it wasn't just his imagination. He was real. Now he was sure, his love was real as well. He loved the voice, even if the didn't knew his face, the voice helped him and made him open his eyes and mind to a lot of things since he met him. His life was getting better ever since. He wanted to meet him. He wanted to hug him and kiss him deeply. He wanted to feel his heartbeat. He wanted to many things. Yes, he was a mere human and he couldn't hold back from all the desires he had. 

Then he realized he didn't know his age. What if he was an old man? No...he couldn't be..right? Or not. Other frustration coming up in the boy's head as he headed back home to go to sleep, though still happy, but thinking of other things. At least he was a human being...he thought all this time it was an angel or demon or a ghost haunting him. It was lovely, that voice couldn't belong to an ugly person and if he were to not look good, with that voice, he would surely be a wonderful person. He wanted to meet him. So badly. As soon as he got home, he sneaked back to his room, trying not to make any noises and changed rapidly, plopping on his bed and resting his head on the pillow. It didn't take long until he fell asleep, the voice still echoing in his mind.

 

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'My wings are black and heavy. I can't let you see me like this. My voice is the only one that can reach you. I can't let you see this sinful man. My body is what you want to feel in these lonely nights. I am not the one you desire. Nevertheless I will burden you with my presence a little more, until you intoxicate me with all the temptation and I will give in.'

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It was a new day. The morning breeze slowly caressed the boy's face as the rays of sun shone through his window, making his frown and whine, asking in his mind for a couple of more minutes in his cozy bed. He was such a baby sometimes. He woke up in the end and went to the bathroom to shower and do his morning ritual before going down for breakfast. His parents were gone again and his brother slept at a friend's house as no one came downstairs in that morning. He felt a little lonely, but he remember the previous night and started smiling dumbly. It was a good beginning, a very good beginning.

'Is that what you think?'

He was startled and stumbled in his own legs, while going to change his clothes. 'Wh-what are you doing here? I am..how come you...talk to me here?'

'Well, no one's there right?'

'R-right...Still it's strange.'

'Sungyeol...I have to tell you something.'

The boy widened his eyes when he heard the voice and nodded, but shoke his head playfully 'Sure, I'm all ears, I'll listen to you no matter what.'

'I did a lot of harm to people and I caused them a lot of pain and suffering' said the voice on a sad tone, totally different from its normal state. The boy sat on his bed and slowly laid down, nodding softly again. 

'I'm still listening.'

'I was a bad person in the past. I used to steal and rob people, cheat on them and pretend to be their friend, then dump them in the streets. I wanted more than life could give me and I never saw what was behind the appearances. I thought everyone was bad and useful. I thought that no one deserved to be happy, that no one was supposed to live in this world and that this life is only made to suffer. My opinion towards life was a really bad one and I hated it, got into trouble wanting to die and kill everyone around me'

The boy was amazed at the sincerity the man was showing towards him for the first time and his heart started racing thinking at what kind of person he must've been, but from what they've been talking he didn't seem like that at all. 'Something must have happened to you to have changes your mind, right? You changed your mind about that, right?' asked the boy a little scared, looking outside the window and smiling faintly.

'Yes, Sungyeol. I met a wonderful person one day. Who tried to make me understand all the wonders in this world and how life was in fact, but I was too blind. Blinded by madness and I didn't want to listen to that person...He had to suffer just as much as I did until then. Only when I lost him I realized that my soul was truly empty. He slowly got to my heart and filled it with the wonderful warmth that only once in a lifetime you can feel it. With him gone, I couldn't feel it anymore, I couldn't taste the sweetness and enjoy the happiness. Do you understand me? I'm sure you understand, that is why I'm telling you this.'

The boy just nodded slowly amazed at how much the man resembled his own self before meeting the wonderful voice. 'Perfectly' he said lowly and kept staring out the window.

'I...started searching for him all over the world. I didn't know what to do without him. Slowly I strayed away from everything and started fearing everyone around me. Without him I became unsure of myself and my own strength, he had been the own cheering and giving me all I had needed, now I was missing something, something important. My purpose. Even if I was pretending to, I slowly started to want to make him happy, for his own good, for my own good. Yet, blinded by my own perspective over life...I went on with my plan to strip him of all his stupid ideas and prove him wrong, but I couldn't. I thought I did, but in fact he was the one teaching me a lesson and making me lose everything. I became empty, a lost soul in this vain world. I am a horrible person and I don't want you to meet me, Sungyeol. I might hurt you as well. I wanted to let you know all the things I've been telling you up until this day because I wanted to teach you what I couldn't learn alone. I'm sure you realized we were both the same somehow...Yet you needed someone's help'

'NO! No. I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to! This can't be the end. I don't want it to be the end, I still want to talk to you, please, please, don't tell me it's over, I beg you, please, Sunggyu...Don't do this to me now...' said the boy, losing his mind at the thought, slowly getting why the man was so sincere. 'NO! Let me decide!'

'Sungyeol, you will get hurt if we continue. This will be easier for you. Listen to me. It's better this way'

'FOR YOU!' he said, starting to sob hard and he curled up in his bed. 'Why....at least let me meet you once...Once...and then you can go away'

'You will want me just for yourself. You are still a human being, you are selfish, you want more than you can have...'

'YES, YES I WANT! I WANT YOU! I WANT TO FEEL YOU, I WANT TO TOUCH YOU, I WANT TO HUG YOU AND KISS YOU NO MATTER HOW YOU ARE...I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU, SUNGGYU. I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE...YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE THIS, IT'S YOUR FAULT!'

'Sungyeol..stop yelling...It is not my fault. I don't feel guilty for you falling for me. Feelings can't be controlled. We fall in and out of love a thousand time in his life. Yes, love is wonderful, but to feel real love you have to give and receive it back, otherwise it's just obsession.'

'B-but...Do you mean...you don't feel anything for me at all?' said the boy, wiping his tears, though prepared for another stream.

'I...haven't fallen in love since long ago. I don't even know what that feels like anymore. I am sorry'

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Since then the boy stopped talking to the voice. He ignored it everytime it tried getting to him. He was heartbroken. The man was right. If he didn't stop it then, he would have been too hurt and the scars left would have been unbearable for him. Even if he missed the voice like hell, he had to stop. He had no chance to meet the man face-to-face, so he had to stop. HAD TO. No matter what. He cried himself to sleep every night ever since. He stopped going to the beach or even passing by...to many memories and lessons went through his head. He started going out more with his friends and wasting himself to forget that it even existed a voice in his life...and the voice started slowly fading from his life as he kept ignoring it. 

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'It wasn't my intention to stop talking to you that day. I just wanted to open up to you. That is why I didn't want to. because I knew you would hate me...'

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'Please answer me Sungyeol...I am alone, I have no one else to talk to. Why did you think I kept talking to you each time i had the chance. I want to teach you more, to talk to you and tell you everything I learned....I miss you. Why are you so mean? Don't tell me you are just like the others.'

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'Don't treat me like this. I did nothing to you, but to be sincere. Is that a sin? Is this the curse you put upon me for being honest and opening up to you? You are a bad person, Sungyeol and i should have never talked to you. I should have never opened up to you or tried to tell you about my opinions.'

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'I am never going to disturb you again. I will disappear from your life forever. Don't you dare call my name again or ask me anything. You disappointed me horrible. Terrible person...I hate you for trashing my thoughts and ignoring me like this. You don't deserve anything from this life. One day you will realize that excuses don't relieve the pain and they are the final drug that make you take the step towards the other world. I bid my farewell, oh almightly Sungyeol and I tell you this: I care a lot about you, but you turned out to be what I never thought you will. Adieu'

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Sungyeol dreamt every night of the voice, yet he couldn't answer. He sometimes wanted to apologize, he sometimes wanted to yell back, but not even once could he talk his mind out. He was sad the voice had left him and he was too ashamed to talk to it or try to get to the man. He did a bad thing...he was right, he was only sincere and he pushed him away in the most horrible and foolish way. He wanted to see him so badly, if only he could find him, somehow...Sunggyu... he missed him.

He felt lonely again. His friends stopped calling him, they moved on to other gangs. Those wasteful nights stopped being so pleasing and he stopped trashing himself like he was nothing and started thinking of the man all day long. He started writing down everything he learnt from him, but it did nothing except hurting more. He went back to the sea and waited...and waited....and waited...but nothing happened. He had to accept it in the end. He had to accept it so he could move on. He learned that from the man.

There's no such thing as moving on, we can't forget the wrong we've done or we've been done...We have to accept it and learn to live with it. We have to be true to ourselves and accept our true nature so we can change and be better persons. And so he did. In a year he was a totally different person. He listened to everyone and started being a cheerful person, helping as many as he could. He turned in the one that the man wanted to. He did it because he thought tht maybe the voice will start talking to him again. He didn't knew if he were to meet him one day, but he started thinking that maybe even his name was a lie to ease his pain and desperation. But still he hoped everyday to hear him again.

That until one day...