Getting pushed into a direction he did not want to go was a routine at this point, yet with Park Chanyeol, it was the hardest thing he had ever done. The eyes of disgust whenever they came across each other was something that hurt a lot. To some people he was numb, but not to the artist that he found to be very inspiring. To see that he hated him was upsetting. To him, he was probably just a pretty but shallow cover that was hooked on drugs like a failure. And was he wrong?
But he did not need to be so obvious, Baekhyun thought.

The model thought a lot about their encounter, was it really the drugs? Loey himself came from an industry that was known to be prone to drugs, he saw him conversing and interacting with artists and musicians that were known to take them, too. So why Baekhyun? The realization hurt even more.
He was very shy at first, would only try to steal glances at their encounters. It were a lot of different events. From musicals to charity events to award shows, even just Baekhyun appearing when Chanyeol got seen clubbing.

Chanyeol would look at him one time and then ignore him, Baekhyun remembered the first time. He had worn a pretty blouse tucked into tight suit pants and a dazzling smile at a charity dinner where he was conveniently placed at the table the rapper was sitting at too, clad in a grey three piece suit. The tall man had been irritated at the boy sitting across him, pretty fingers wrapped around a wine glass. Eyes covered in beautiful make up, not too dramatic but still somewhat noticeable. Baekhyun was used to people looking at him, but Chanyeol completely ignored him. He was instructed to approach him, but he wasn’t even given a chance.
He went home defeated, pockets full of random numbers thrown his way by men way too old for him but no word spoken.

His manager wasn’t too mad at him at first although he wasn’t exactly happy either. They continued. Their deal with the brand way too important, his schedule for the next year was already planned and packed because of it, other deals declined solely because of that. Losing it due to the company being dissatisfied with him blocking them further deals would mean losing a lot of money. It would mean troubles for Baekhyun. So he tried to be a good boy, do everything he could. He tried so much, being cute, being seductive, sophisticated, dumb, soft spoken, intelligent. Most of the time Chanyeol wouldn’t even give him a chance to talk with him though.
At a movie premiere Baekhyun was sitting next to him and he noticed how big the rapper was, noticed the tattoo on his wrist with a number on it. He had complimented it with an impressed look one his face but everything Chanyeol did was pushing his sleeve down to conceal it. Baekhyun was happy the movie was sad, because no one questioned his tears once the light got dimmed. Rejection was hard.

It happened over and over up until the point Baekhyun almost went into panic attacks once he was told he had to go somewhere. Why were they so relentless? He was trying for weeks now, it did not work. Their partner company got madder every single day and Baekhyun was the receiving end of it. The atmosphere around him was tense and he tried to endure it for as long as he could. His dealer was pleased with how frequent his orders were. Desperation could make a lot of money.

It took a month and a half until Baekhyun was on his knees, begging his manager to make it stop. He could not take it. Loey had been someone he had looked up to so much, cherishing his music and his every part of existence. But he could not listen to any of Loey’s music anymore, what once was a safe place in his mind for him, had now turned into a dark corner Baekhyun did not wish to go anymore. Being turned down every single time, not even worth a response or a glance, by now Chanyeol simply stood up and left the moment he saw Baekhyun, was completely destroying what was left from him.
The response was immediate, another hit but it was not the most painful out of his actions. They still sent him out to events to /hunt/ for Chanyeol occasionally, but not as frequent anymore. They needed to make sure their partner company saw they were still putting effort into fixing the issue. But what they would focus on now was fishing for new opportunities and money to further the agency. What it meant for Baekhyun was simple.
Meeting rich men and being their personal for a day, under the pretense of business dinners of course. Baekhyun was used to them, but not like this. They pushed him even more, squeezed in as much as they could between his regular schedules and photoshoots. It was like they milked him for every penny they could in case they and Baekhyun would get dropped from their current brand deal. Sabotaging the company’s success was a clause and there was a possibility they would use it against them. A lawsuit was close. So they needed to save their name and their stocks. And they did it on Baekhyun’s back.

He had never gotten much sleep in the past 8 years, but now it decreased even more. made him more sustainable with not much sleep, but even drugs had their limits. Pretty much the only time he had left to sleep was in the bed of a complete stranger, a rich CEO or just a well off client, but Baekhyun could never even close an eye in those moments. Too busy with trying to calm his mind, repeating his mantra of how it will be over soon.
His staff noticed, they sometimes let him sleep while they got him ready, but the most they did was concealing his heavy eyes as best as they could.

It was the after show of an award ceremony both Baekhyun and Chanyeol were invited where they met the next time. This time it was not intentional, just both of their status as celebrities putting them there. It has been over two weeks after the last time, some clubbing Baekhyun got dragged to attend but got ignored. At least the was free that night.
This time they did not seat together, the event planned months ahead and his management could not change the seating arrangements. Baekhyun was happy, he was sitting in the front rows though so he had be there all the time, since the camera focused a lot on him in the crowd while all he wished was to leave for a bit and just sleep. Baekhyun had begged his manager to leave after the official part was over but he wouldn’t listen, instead handing him a drink and telling him to shut up.
Baekhyun surrendered, looking into his drink that was way too sour for him and burned unpleasantly on his tongue while his manager caught everyone that wanted to approach him and he was thankful for that at least. Eventually he got pushed into the background of things and he went mostly ignored, he appreciated it. His drink long forgotten, he looked out of the window of the penthouse location, wondering if someone would stop him if he would just jump. Every kind of sleep sounded so good right now. Even eternal one.

With his eyes wandering to the entrance of the outside patio, he noticed a tall figure going outside.
Baekhyun looked to his manager and staff, conversing and being otherwise occupied. They did not see the tall rapper, so no need for them to push him into his direction. To make him humiliate himself some more.

So why was it that Baekhyun moved out of his own motivation, following the tall, imposing man that had rejected and ignored him so many times it had only fueled his messed up head, leaving only the disgusting drink behind at the bar?

They were the only ones on the spacious balcony, the skyline of Seoul so pretty in its view, stars shining brightly today. Chanyeol’s cigarette could be one among them, for the tip lighting up for the split of a second. Baekhyun decided to watch him warily for a few moments, taking in the handsome form. The bleached blonde hair, the black silk shirt and the stylish leather pants with shiny boots. He could be a model himself, Baekhyun thought. The way he carried himself was so majestic, he definitely would own a catwalk, demanding its whole attention for himself.

Baekhyun made some wary steps as Chanyeol took a drag, the smoke a faint silhouette in the darkness, patio only lit up by a few decorative lanterns. He swallowed harshly, his hands shaking so badly that he dug his hand into his thigh so they would stop moving. He needed to finally put an end to this. The boy looked over the handrail, they were on the top, the ground hundreds of meters apart from them. Tonight it was either Chanyeol that put an end to this, or it was gravity.
„M…Mr. P-park.“ Voice barely a voice, Baekhyun hadn’t really spoken in a few days so it felt foreign, he was a bit hoarse. Chanyeol turned and gave him a glance. He groaned and Baekhyun really felt like jumping. The rapper looked at the skyline once again, eyes fixed on the moving lights in the sky, probably airplanes and took a quick drag from his smoke, trying to get the most out of it. Then he just flicked it over the railing with his fingertips. Just like that. Baekhyun watched it, both with fear and envy. Chanyeol had decided for him.
Yet Baekhyun did not move into that direction, instead he turned with Chanyeol, who was already on his way back inside, not willing to give him so much as another second of his time.
The model winced, tears and exhaustion making it hard to move, yet he did it as best as he could. Little fingers wrapping itself around Chanyeol’s wrist. The one that had the tattoos imprinted on. He noticed how small his hands looked next to Loey’s and for a split second he wondered if he would hit him. So when Chanyeol turned around he flinched, too used to hastic movements resulting in pain. The rapper did notice it though and slowed down.
There was annoyance in his dark eyes, something he was used to by now, Chanyeol wouldn’t give him any other gaze. But there was also something different, something that reminded him of their first encounter back in the restroom almost four months ago.
Now, Baekhyun was desperate. He did not possess any strength anymore to play, to act, to put on a facade in the hopes of it actually working because nothing had ever worked. Chanyeol did not want cocky Baekhyun, shy Baekhyun, y Baekhyun, cute Baekhyun, probably any Baekhyun he assumed. So all he could offer was himself. And he was so utterly broken right now.

„Please.“ He begged. „P-please… talk to me. What do I have to do so you talk to me? Ill do it I swear. I don’t want to get hit again, please…“ He didn’t want to, but the tears were overwhelming him and he sobbed.
„They… they… I just want to sleep, okay?“ With the tears blurring his vision and his hands on Chanyeol’s wrist trembling, he started to ramble, not knowing what he was saying.
"Please, they don’t let me sleep and I already got in trouble because I fainted at the photoshoot earlier, please.. Loey.. I… want this to end…“

His knees finally gave in, fatigue too strong and Baekhyun’s eyes fluttered close for a second, he did not care about the impact. Could he finally just fall asleep? It had been almost 30 hours now. But it was not concrete, that he felt crushing his knees. It was a strong arm around his waist instead, keeping him upright.

So tired.