Living in Seoul has its perks. Good public transport, pretty safe, great internet connections. And it houses most K-pop auditions. Those auditions are the most important though. You see, my younger sister, So-Yung, convinced me to audition for A Team Management as a singer. I love singing, but I also have realistic expectations of my life. Because, I dream of being a part of the K-pop culture, but I know I'm not good enough.

Stupid So-Yung signed me up anyway.

Thus, I commenced my rehearsals, because if I don't show up, I'll look bad. I find it's better to fail than not go at all. At least I tried, am I right? I worked pretty much 6 hours a day for about two weeks. I selected a couple of Korean songs and practiced their choreographies. My sister suggested singing in English too. It was a good idea, although I was kinda concerned about my one-minute timeframe. I did some cropping and managed to come up with something.

Today is the big day. I slurp on my strawberry milk as I walk through the doors of the Coex Artium building. There's an arrow mounted on a signpost with the A Team Management logo. Following those arrows around the building, I notice a line of people and join it. I nod to the guy in front of me as he looks over his shoulder. He bows too and turns back around. No small talk for me. I guess I should've expected it, seeing as we Koreans are big on 'stranger danger'. It's something I could never get behind. I mean, how can I entertain myself for so many hours if I can't talk to people? I whip out my phone and put my earbuds in. Seems like a good idea to run through my audition mix again.

As the hour passes, a lot of people disappear into the audition room. There are many types of faces as the push the door open. Nervous, confident, little smiles, excited smiles, ... Friends and family encourage those who came to try out, others are alone. I love watching people, I always imagine knowing them and being friends with them. The guy in front of me clearly doesn't. He hasn't looked up from his phone since I came in line. When it's his turn, he puts his phone away and just walks in.

"Good luck," I whisper-yell. His step falters a bit, but he doesn't acknowledge me. Meanie. The door closes behind him and there I am.

The next five minutes must have been the longest five minutes of my life. I'm someone who gets nervous easily and when I'm nervous, I can't stop fiddling with everything. My cellphone case has been on and off at least twenty times and I think I broke it. A light goes on, meaning that they're expecting me. I look behind me, at the people behind me. So much talent. I need to bring my A-game, otherwise I won't stand a chance. Come on Ji-Ae, you can do this.

Scrambling for my nerves, I step inside the audition room. There is a man sitting beside a big video recorder so I head his way. I retrieve the flash drive with my little mixtape and hand it over. A sound technician inserts it in a music installation. There is an X on the ground and I rush over to it. I get in position and wait for the music to start. A second later, the first notes come out of the speaker and I'm off, dancing, singing and rapping for my future.

When I'm done, the guy judging me raises an eyebrow and nods for me to go. I blush, grab my flash drive and hurry out of the room. Nobody's there but I expected nothing more. Seeing as I'm now done with my audition, why not go look around in the mall? Yeah, buy myself some celebratory knick-knacks because I totally rocked that audition. They say nerves can be good, and mine didn't disappoint. Everything went great. I mean, I stumbled not once, my English rap was distinguishable and my high notes were on point. If I'm not selected, it would be a shame.

I stroll over to the mall entrance closest by the Coex Atrium and head inside. The first cafe I stumble upon, I'm entering. I need a strawberry milk. And maybe a banana. Yeah, a banana sounds good.

After a while, I find a little grocery shop and get myself some snacks. I plop down on a bench and people-watch for a while. All those people, all those memories, all those hardships. It's interesting to know that each and every person in this building, in this world, has their own story.

I love to make up stories in my mind about a person I see. One mother drags a pouting boy away from a candy store, they'll have some candy when they get home. Another guy sits on another bench, looking down at his phone, his girlfriend send him a cute text. A woman in a fancy pantsuit rushes by, she's going to land a promotion if she hurries.

Each has their own story.

While I throw away my banana peel and milk box, I turn towards the shops. I need a new shirt for my checkered pants. There's not really something that looks good with it in my closet. The first shop that catches my eye, is the H&M. I stroll through their doors and take a look around. Browsing one particular rack, gets me quite a few shirts that I know will match my pants. I try them on in the changing booth and purchase the one I like the most. A stop by Samsonite for a new phone case, because I did break my current one. Passing by the Vans store so I can drool over my newest dream pair, I grab a bite at Koh Samgyetang and head back to the entrance I came from. Because audition or not, I need to be home at a respectable hour. If I'm late, my mom will kill me.

I take the subway back home and when I open the front door, confetti flies all around my ears. I startle and listen to my family's cheering. Mom kisses my cheeks.

"My eldest girl has done an audition for a big label, I'm so proud."

"Mom, don't say stuff like that, it's embarrassing."

She just smiles, squeezes my cheeks once more and takes a step back. Someone tackles me with a hug, followed by another tackle from the other side. So-Yung beams her white teeth at me.

"How did it go? How did it go? You didn't stumble, right? How was your English?"

I roll my eyes, smirking. "I totally rocked my audition, how could I not? No tripping and perfect English, if I say so myself."

Geum-Suk giggles. "Congratulations big sister!"

I smile and pat her hands. "Thank you little sister. Big sister needs to breathe though." I dramatically gasp for air. My sisters let go and I poke them hard in their sides before launching myself out of their reach. I hear them squealing and their footsteps rushing after me.

Dinner was great and after brushing my teeth, I head to bed.

Maybe I'll dream of a K-pop future again.

~*~

Songlist:

- Breath by Lee Hi for the vocals in Korean

- Catch Me by WJSN for the rap in Korean

- Higher Love by Kygo & Whitney Houston for vocals in English with own choreography

- Panda by Desiigner for rap in English with own choreography