Yoo Seungho was flipping through the pages, scanning every word before he decided to sign the document. His serious expression visibly showed his professional and commitment to his career. The vice-president of the company who will be taking over his father’s company in less than a year, he worked hard depending on his own strength and patience to achieve the position for almost four years now.

 

He hit the back of his neck twice, trying to persuade his body and mind to stay awake. He still had many documents to go through within the given time. In the middle of his work, his phone vibrated. He looked at the caller ID and reluctantly answered the phone.

 

“What do you want?” he asked tiredly, still flipping through the pages from a document. “I’m busy here.”

 

“Oh,” the woman answered, her voice was obviously sad and hurt but sadly, he didn’t take notice on it.

 

“Don’t wait for me, I’ll be late today.” He said and without waiting for any respond, he hanged up the phone.

 

“Maybe…” she stopped. She looked at her phone wretchedly and dropped it to her bed. Tears trickled down her cheeks slowly; she was too weak to control her own brain right now.

 

She wiped the never ending tears and heaved a sigh. Park Jiyeon convinced herself that she was okay and that her husband was a busy businessman. She fought her negative thoughts from flowing into her brain cells. That was her only method to survive her loneliness every day.

 

“Nevermind Jiyeon!” she said, forcing her tears to stop flowing. “I must understand that his career is our future, I must not be selfish.”

 

However, this was not the first time… not the second times… she has already lost counts on it.  She sauntered to her diner room and began removed the dishes from the table which she cooked one hour ago.

 

“Stupid,” Jiyeon chuckled sadly. “You know that he won’t be able to taste your cooking like he used to be, why are you still hoping and stupidly spend effort cooking?”

 

After she removed all the dishes from the table, she grabbed a soft drink and went to the living room. However, the living room was filled with emptiness… she felt lonely. She sat on the couch ahead the television; she switched on the television and randomly pressed any button. Then, she stopped and dropped the remote control.

 

She put her leg on the couch and hugged her knee tightly; she needed something to stop the ache in her chest. She focused on the flashing images of the television with her watery eyes, however she wasn’t really absorbing anything she was seeing. Her mind faded far away to the past.

 

She remembered Seungho and her walked together, hand-locking each other at their favourite place; the lagoon. That was their first date after knowing each other for five years.

 

She remembered the conversation she had with Seungho about their future. The romantic scene while they were talking. She missed the gentleness in his voice as he was telling his plans for their future. She missed that moment very much. She missed resting her head on Seungho’s shoulder while he gently caressing her hair.

 

She slowly fell asleep, leaving the television on as always. She felt a little better hearing the sound from the television, imagining that Seungho was watching television while she was sleeping on his lap. Imagination often made her calm.

 

It was weekend and Seungho was staying home, working as usual. Jiyeon was quietly watching him from the corner of his room, trying her best to not bother him. She knew that Seungho was easily distracted and he always had ill-tempered when he was stress.

 

Seungho got up from his chair and turned to look at her wife. “Can’t you do something else?”

 

Jiyeon was surprised by his question. Her brain couldn’t produce a quick answer and all she could do was dumbly starring at his angry husband. She didn’t mean to make him angry but she missed him too much to resist the chances to be with him, she just wanted to stare at him, the real him; not his picture.

 

Seungho was tired of waiting for her answer so he walked out of his office into the kitchen followed by Jiyeon at his behind. He heaved an annoying sigh and grabbed a glass out of the overhead cabinet and slammed it down on the counter.

 

“You should go out and make a friend instead of staying in this house,” Seungho began, pouring some juice into his glass. “You know that I can’t always be by your side.”

 

“You know that I’m not good in making friends by myself.” Jiyeon replied, feeling glad that he finally began to talk to her after months of silence in between them. She had been desperately wanted to spend time with her husband.

 

“You should get rid of your anti-social attitude.” Seungho said, making his way to the chair nearby. He took a seat and was followed by Jiyeon who sat in front of him. She missed him very much, his voice of concern.

 

“You can’t always depend on me, you know that, right?” Seungho added.

 

“I will be happy if you by my side, I don’t need anything else.” Jiyeon stammered, touching Seungho’s wrist.

 

“You will be happy for just that?” Seungho scoffed.

 

Jiyeon nodded desperately. She didn’t want to continue the conversation. She knew exactly what he will going to talk about, the feeling of fear suddenly filled her nerve.

 

“Jiyeon, you can’t live your life depending on me.” Seungho sighed. It was enough that his soon-to-be company gave him tons of headaches and burden and now, his wife was adding some sort of heavy burden on him, indirectly telling him that she needed his attention only. He couldn’t take it now, with his future company under him, not now. His burden kept on adding as day passed by.

 

“It gives me burden if you keep on acting like this.” Seungho blurted out, instantly making Jiyeon freeze. It was too late to take back his words, Seungho realised that it was better to say it out.

 

The word ‘burden’ was replaying in her mind as it was some attractive song lyric. Burden? She couldn’t believe it that her own husband assumed him as a burden. She hated it. She hated the way he said it.

 

“I’m a burden to you?” Jiyeon choked back her tears. This was not the conversation she was hoping for. She was a burden to him? Burden from which aspect and perceptive?

 

‘He is stress,’ Jiyeon thought positively, trying not to collapse in front of her sudden cold husband.

 

“Yes, you’re a burden to me.” Seungho answered, losing his temper. “I can’t deal with a clinging wife!”

 

Jiyeon taken aback with his answered. A thousand of vocabularies running in her mind, no words willing to form into proper sentences to defend herself. She wasn’t a clinging wife, at least for her.

 

“I’m sick of your every day calls and why the hell do you left the television on? You know that I hate wasting my money for something that we can do about it. The overloading foods that you put in the refrigerator, if you can’t finish it, don’t cook a lot at the first place. You are giving me a headache nowadays.”

 

“I can explain.” Jiyeon mumbled, finding her courage to stop this small argument. She didn’t like to fight with her husband, not about this small matter that they can solve by discussion.

 

“You have changed!” Seungho exclaimed, standing up from the chair.

 

Jiyeon cursed herself for being weak in front of him. Why can’t she stand up for herself? The Seungho in front of her was a total different person. Where was the Seungho that she knew for eleven years? She watched Seungho began to walk out of the kitchen, she wanted to run and hugged him but her legs were weak to even stand up and listen to her.

 

A sudden question burst out of Jiyeon mouth, a question that she shouldn’t ask and a question that was created by her unconscious mind.

 

“Are you regretting marrying me?”

 

Seungho stopped in between the doorway. He slightly turned his head to the left and said ‘yes’. He then, walked out of the house, slammed close the entrance door loudly. His answer was based on his temporary anger, an anger that could be control properly if he tried. He stopped after he reached his car and glanced at his house before drove away.

 

Jiyeon on the other side stumbled her way to her bedroom. She couldn’t believe her own ears. She was hoping that this was a nightmare. As soon as she reached her room, she fell down onto the floor. The large picture was in front of her, their marriage photo. She crawled to her bed, losing a lot of energy from crying.

 

A river of memories from their marriage flowed like an old movie. She hugged her pillow, crying in agony, hoping that this was just a dream.

 

She remembered the beautiful moment when they walked down the aisle, holding hand together and happiness was visibly written on their face. She remembered that he promised her that he will always love her, protect her, be by her side forever and be her family, friend and husband. She also remembered her promised to him that she will love him, be by his side forever and always support him.

 

She remembered the love game they were playing. They promised each other to reach to the last level together. However, level three was already difficult for them to pass through. Their love game;

 

First level – friend.

Second level – Couple.

Third level – Spouse to each other.

Forth level – Parents.

Fifth level – Growing old together.

Sixth level – Our death.                        

 

However, will they be able to finish the reminding levels together or will it be a part of her imagination again. The more she questioned it, the more heartache she received.

 

She remembered she jokingly said that she couldn’t live without him and she would rather die but now, it was not a joke anymore. She would rather die. For her, he was the only relative she had. Her family died five years ago in an accident and to lose the only one she has right now, she would rather die.

 

Seungho was staring blankly at the documents ahead him. The argument yesterday hunted him and suddenly his father head-locking him with his arm. Their relationship was close like siblings.

 

Seungho freed himself and chuckled while Mr.Yoo put on a concerned expression.

 

“What happened?” Mr.Yoo asked, folding his arms against his chest.

 

Seungho sighed and dropped his head behind, rubbing the back of his neck. He told his father everything.

 

Mr.Yoo sighed and patted his son’s shoulder. “You should go and see her, don’t be like your forever young father.”

 

Mr.Yoo lost his wife to a disease, regretting that he didn’t manage to shower her with his love. He didn’t want his son to experience the same thing and with his strength, he pulled Seungho from his seat and dragged him out of his office.

 

“Don’t come back if you fail to persuade your wife!” Mr.Yoo warned, forcing Seungho to drive back to his house. He suddenly felt an unexpected fresh wave of nervousness and guilt. He admitted that yesterday, his anger was indeed beyond the line.

 

He arrived and when he went through the front door, a sudden shock crashed him. The atmosphere itself filled with a surge of emptiness.

 

‘Where’s Jiyeon?’ he thought.

 

He didn’t comfortable with the atmosphere. Why did he feel lonely? Usually, Jiyeon would rushing to the front door and greet him or he would hear the television sound but now, she was nowhere to be seen. An eerie silence floated through the air and he felt lonely without her scent and presence.

He then decided to check their bedroom but it was empty.

 

“She didn’t leave, did she?” He panicked, searching every corner of the bedroom.

 

‘Did she leave any letter?’ he thought. BINGO. She did. Like any other movies.

 

He quickly opened the folded letter.

 

Seungho,

 

I was so pathetic. I shouldn’t have questioned you. A wrong question that will only leave me unsettle and miserable. Why did you have to answer to that question anyway? Can’t you leave it unsaid like you always do when we fought?

 

The distance between us seems growing as day passes and everyday isn’t as important as it used to be. I missed you so much that it hurt me and torn me down. I just want to stare at you and said I love you like I always do but why can’t I do it nowadays? Why can’t I feel the same warmth from you?

 

Have you noticed it? The moment I tried to reach for you would only lead me to a total disappointment?  Like you would either said you are busy and you are tried. I have been desperately finding a right time to spend a precious time with you. For these nine months, I had been trying to think positively; it always hurt less if I did.

 

Do you realise these?  You are no longer spending your extra time with me like you used to be. You are no longer accompanying me to the shopping mall. You are no longer listening to my stories like the way I listen to your complaints. You are no longer holding my hand when we were in public as if you doesn’t even care to lose me in the crowd. You are no longer eat dinner with me like you always promised me. You are no longer you. The moment you said I had changed was the moment I realised that you are no longer trying to understand me. It hurts me.

 

 Our love… where is it? Did something hit your conscious mind? Like a realisation that you have already fell out of love with me?  Where are your promises? The promises that we made as we walked down the aisle together during our marriage? The promises that we made… Wait … don’t tell me the reason why you are still here is because of the promises? Don’t tell me that because promises are foolish.

 

I always think that you will never leave my side, how pathetic. Do you know that without your presence in this house, my chest hurts? I always miss you. I miss you. I didn’t mean to make myself as a burden to you. I always try to limit my phone calls and messages because I afraid that I might distract you. However, I’m still distracting you. Is it a sin to miss someone a lot? I had tried to stop calling and wait for you instead but the burden in waiting was too hard for me.

 

I’m sorry for wasting your money. I’m just too lonely. The sound from the television always remind me of our memories where I would always fell asleep on your lap while you were watching television. Can’t I imagine the scene to fill the empty space?

 

I guess I’m still a burden to you. I’m sorry.

 

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS.

 

Jiyeon.

 

A crystal tear ran down his cheek. He slammed the letter onto the table before rushed out to find Jiyeon.

 

Jiyeon was sitting on the bench at their favourite lagoon. She didn’t know what else to do with her life without Seungho. Her head was in pain due to her blood level and frantically she searched for the bottle of medicine she just bought.

 

Seungho recognised the familiar figure and quickly rushed to her. However, he couldn’t believe what he saw. Was she trying to kill herself? She had a handful of pills… Seungho quickly snapped away the medicine, causing them to shatter everywhere.

 

“Are you crazy?” Seungho shouted at her, pulled her from her seat and shaking both of her shoulders. “Are you planning to leave me alone in this cruel world?”

 

Jiyeon smiled weakly and mouthed his name.

 

“Where are you promises? Are you dumping all your responsibilities as my wife right now? Do you think I will live my life perfectly with you?” he added. He was lost of breath and tried to catch his breath as soon as he finished.

 

Jiyeon softly snapped both of Seungho’s hand. She shook her head.

 

“I accidently spill my medicine.” She explained briefly, too tired to open .

 

For instant, Seungho felt embarrassed for his overeating reaction. He just lost his eleven years of cool impression in front of his wife. He scratched the back of his hair and chuckled, pretending to look at their surroundings. Jiyeon who was still having a headache dropped down to the bench but she couldn’t hold her happiness and smiled toothily at Seungho.

 

Seungho dropped on his knee and moved forward to Jiyeon. He realised that he had been missing her too; her natural beautiful face and her funny stories that always made up for his gloomy day. To make up for their argument, he forwarded his head to kiss his wife’s lip.

 

 

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