If he was being honest, he expected the invitation some time around now and he was sure he'd already received the e-mail and the official invite, but maybe if he didn't look at those and continue to ignore the fancy envelope Seungri had brought up to their room and was now lying on their dressing table, he could pretend he hadn't been invited yet. 

He loved these fashion shows, absolutely adored Chanel's extravagant yet classy themes. He loved Paris, the city of love, the sights, the sounds, the smell. Walking the streets felt like going back hundreds of years where things were simple and the society was still learning and growing and it was something Jiyong both revelled and thrived in. But thinking about going there now just... it felt more like a chore. A duty. An assignment he wanted to run from. 

Until Seungri brought it up in their living room after they'd just had dinner. It was cold and quiet in their shared apartment, the only light in the room came from the TV set playing out a movie neither of them were watching seriously. Jiyong was just happy to spend the day with his boyfriend considering he no longer had the privilege to spend every day with him. With everything happening around Seungri, his therapist had advised Seungri to get a steady support system who would keep an eye on him at all times. While Jiyong had initially been upset that both the therapist and Seungri didn't find him worthy of the post, he understood now. Seungri had to have eyes on him every hour of the day, someone to make sure he didn't drift, didn't use his social media without supervision, and Jiyong could certainly try but not on his own. 

Much to Seungri's protests, he was made to spend some days with his parents and the rest with Jiyong at their apartment in Seoul. It was difficult to adjust to that when they'd lived together for more than ten years, but they were trying. Everyone was trying. 

Jiyong missed the question the first time Seungri asked but he didn't miss the soft jab against his ribs when Seungri tried to get his attention. 

"What did you say?" He asked, turning his attention to his younger boyfriend who was draped across the couch, head comfortably resting on Jiyong's laps. 

Wide, puppy-like eyes flashed up at him, a slight frown on his face. "I was just asking when you were going to leave for Paris fashion week. Youngbae-hyung just got back from Italy earlier today and he called me a few hours ago. That was when I remembered the letter you got from Chanel. So when are you going?"

Jiyong huffed out a sigh, bringing one of his hands down to run his fingers through the mess of dark brown hair on his laps. He missed the way Seungri purred at the action and leaned into his touch. 

"Well, I haven't even read the note. So I'm not sure," he answered truthfully. 

"Why not?" Seungri asked with mild confusion written all over his face. 

Jiyong shrugged. "I don't know. It just doesn't feel... right." 

"Why?" Seungri demanded curiously, prompting a small chuckle from Jiyong. 

"You keep asking these questions, baby, and I'm not sure I have the answers," he replied, absentmindedly running his free hand past his one week old stubble, thinking how he probably needed to shave. "It's just... I need to be in the right headspace for that and I'm not ready."

Seungri was silent for a bit, his eyes unfocused, lips turned to a side as it was whenever he was thinking hard until he finally asked, "Is it because of me?"

Jiyong was tempted to lie, it would be easier to chalk it up to general stress, but he couldn't find it in himself to lie to Seungri's face. The one thing the boy before him deserved was honesty. So he answered, "It just