Chapter Text

🌱

 

I awkwardly squatted in front of the toddler before me. He looked up from his toy train, kept his big brown eyes on me for three uncomfortable seconds, then went back to playing.

“Uh, hi, Daeul! Nice to meet you!” I greeted anyway, hoping, begging he would look up again. After getting nothing, I scratched my head and looked up at my girlfriend, Nayeon, who watched the interaction carefully. She didn’t look too worried.

“Try again,” she mouthed encouragingly and gave me an excited thumbs up that accidentally flipped a strand of her black hair to the back. She was that excited.

I cleared my throat and waved at Daeul, trying to get his attention again. “Hi hi, my name is Jeongyeon! What’s yours?” I hoped he didn’t remember that I had already said his name, or else he’d think I was a dummy.

Daeul finally looked up at me, sporting a bored expression. I smiled at him and outstretched my hand, hoping he’d take it, or at least a finger, you know, like most toddlers do. Instead he stared at it and yawned. Then he began to whimper, and did so for a while, until the whimpers turned into crying. Nayeon came to the rescue and picked him up, gently rocking him until he stopped crying.

“Aw, are you sleepy, sweetie? It sure is late. Let’s get you to bed. First, we have to brush your teeth, okay? Let’s go!” She whooshed him away like an airplane, but not before quickly sending me an apologetic look. I smiled weakly before she turned the corner, understanding that she had to take care of her son and put him to bed. 

I stood up and winced when my knees creaked. After closing the window, feeling like the warm night air might have made him even sleepier, I sat on Nayeon’s couch. I waited for twenty minutes before she rushed into the living room and jumped onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Aaand he’s asleep! You got him so bored that he went to sleep without a hitch!” 

I gasped. My own girlfriend! “Babe! What the hell?”

Nayeon laughed and buried her face into my shoulder. “Sorry, sorry! It’s just... so funny to me how quickly he wants to go to bed whenever you come over. Usually it’s a struggle to even get him to brush his teeth, let alone have the desire to sleep!” She nudged me with her elbow. “You know what? From now on, if I’m ever having problems with putting him to sleep, I’ll just call you over. I swear he gets bored at the mere mention of your name.”

I laughed and pretended to be hurt. “Nayeon, stop! Oh my god, if I wanted to get roasted, I could have just called Chaeng or Dahyun!”

Nayeon giggled and nodded, patting my back as she did. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m honestly just trying to cheer you up.”

“You’re what?” I asked incredulously, opening my eyes wide. “Did I hear that right?”

“I know that it’s a little frustrating with Daeul, Jeongyeon,” she said after controlling her laughter. “That was my best attempt at...un-frustrating you.” She smirked at me and settled more comfortably into my lap. 

“It did help a bit. But you know that it’s not that Daeul himself is frustrating, it’s more like the fact that he doesn’t like me. It hurts my pride a bit.” All of those years I spent with my younger cousins made me think that every single child in the entire world would love me. “Kids usually run to me, and I love them and play with them, so to not have that happen this time is… very foreign to me.” 

Nayeon pursed her lips and nodded. “I understand. But remember! He’s only met you five times! He’ll warm up to you, I know it. My baby is a sweet kid. You’ve seen how he is with me. If you’re patient and try your best to actually get to know him, you’ll get results, baby.”

“Plus,” I added, trying to stay cool at the ‘baby,’ “the other times we tried, it was also almost his bedtime. Let’s try at a better time, hmm?”

Nayeon gave me the biggest, most enthusiastic smile and lightly smacked my chest. “Exactly! There we go! I’m rooting for you, okay? I know you can do this.”

I leaned back into Nayeon’s sofa and sighed, so glad that she was so positive about this whole thing. We’d been dating for ten months at the time, and during the first nine months, each time I’d come over to Nayeon’s, Daeul wasn’t there because he was spending time with his dad, Nayeon’s ex-husband. This was the first month where I actually got to see him and try to get to know him.

“Thank you. For rooting for me and for cheering me up. Or, well, trying to cheer me up with whatever the hell that was.” That got me a cute little ‘hey!’ from her, but she didn’t fight me on it because she knew I was right. Secretly, though, I liked being teased by her, so it did cheer me up. I found it extremely cute the way her gummy smile appeared when she joked around with me. It was like the same usual smile, except 1000% times more mischievous, more playful. I would never tell her about it, though, or else she’d make me work to see that smile. This way, I got it for only the price of a roast session.

During the time that I had meditated in her mischievous smile, she’d leaned against me and closed her eyes. She had a small smile on her face.

“What are you thinking about? You know what they say, he who laughs to himself is remembering his evil deeds. So come on, share your evil deeds with me.” I nudged her a bit, making sure it didn’t move her too much. She seemed very comfortable.

“Mmm. I’m not remembering any evil deeds. I’m just very, very happy.” She kept her eyes closed and continued speaking. “I’m happy that I met you and that you're trying to get to know my son. You have no idea how hard it is to find someone that’s totally okay with dating someone that has children.”

“Yeah, some people think that it means more baggage or something, right?”

“Mhmm. Exactly. Or they think the ex-partner will be a crazy jealous nutjob that they can’t deal with. Sometimes that’s simply not the case, but they don’t care to find out. And that’s why I’m so thankful for you. It’s only been five times, but I can see that you really are interested in him.”

“And not just because I wanna impress you. I’m really, truly interested in getting to know Daeul.” What she said was so heartwarming and refreshing to my ears that I was momentarily at a loss for words. I held her tighter and kissed her forehead until the words finally came to me. “So, hey. There’s no need to thank me for something I love doing.”

Nayeon giggled, quickly kissing me on the lips and putting a few strands of my brown hair behind my ear, giggling a little more when they fell right back. “You’re so cute. I love you, Jeongyeon.”

My eyes welled up with tears. Would I ever stop crying when she told me that she loved me? “I love you, Nayeon,” I replied, smiling tenderly at her and kissing her back.

 

🌼

 

Nayeon and I stood side by side in front of the sink washing the dishes, though we were definitely splashing each other more than anything. 

“Our friends got along so well! Tzuyu never talks unless she’s with us or at her job. And the latter's just because she’s practically the boss.”

I shrugged, not too surprised that Chaeyoung had gotten her to loosen up and joke around as well. “That’s Chaeyoung for ya. Nobody can resist her youthful charm. I’m actually surprised it took her that long to make Tzuyu smile.”

“Yeah. They’re the same age too, right?” Nayeon asked, handing me a plate.

“I think so. It must have been part of the reason Tzuyu liked her so much,” I answered, taking it and almost dropping it.

Nayeon didn’t notice, just nodded thoughtfully. “What’s Chaeyoung’s career? I feel as if I’d seen her before, but I can’t place her anywhere.”

“She’s a model. She’s getting her face out there. She recently became the face of a local clothing brand! Is that how you’ve seen her? Maybe you've seen some ads.”

“Ah! That is where I’ve seen her!” Nayeon snapped her fingers, satisfied. “That’s so cool! I love their designs, and the clothes are really pretty. In the ads I’ve seen, she totally makes them look even prettier, so she’s definitely going places!”

I was really pleased to hear that. Chaeyoung was my closest friend, so hearing that my girlfriend had a lot of faith in her modeling skills sent me to high heavens. “Chaeyoung has been a little insecure about her modeling skills lately, so I’ll be sure to tell her that! And what does Tzuyu do?”

“How do I explain this… She makes...glass?” Nayeon half asked, half said. “Like, a glass blower? She makes pretty glass stuff for a lot of customers, basically. You see that centerpiece on my table? She made that for me!” She pointed at said centerpiece and my jaw dropped. 

“No way! That’s so cool! Chaeyoung loves artsy stuff, maybe they talked about their jobs first and found out they had common interests!”

“Maybe!” Nayeon chirped, very happy to hear about Chaeyoung possibly taking an interest in Tzuyu’s passion. “Most of our friends seemed to have stuff in common. It made it go so well, Jeongyeon. I really thought that this dinner party would go wrong. You know how it is with some people. Not everyone gets along, and that’s fine, but you know… These are our friends! If your friends and mine don’t get along, it could, you know, make things awkward.”

“Yeah, I get you. But I knew it would go great from the get-go, because I know how my friends are. I knew Dahyun would charm the out of everyone, because everyone loves kindergarten teachers. They have certain auras to them that make them likeable. Momo was practically vibrating from excitement about meeting your friends Sana and Mina, and Chaeyoung gets along with everyone.”

Nayeon chuckled, probably remembering one of the many silly jokes Chaeyoung told throughout the night. “Yeah. I know. It’s not like I didn’t trust my friends. It was nerves in general. You had already met Sana, so I knew that wasn’t going to be a problem. Mina laughed at every joke you and Chaeyoung told, so that’s a good sign, and we both know how it went with Tzuyu.”

Nayeon laughed, then paused and cringed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, setting down a spoon. 

“Just thought about Jihyo. What did you think of her?”

I scratched my head, regretting it immediately because my fingers were wet and soapy. “Jihyo? Which one was she? The quiet one in the denim top?”

“Yeah, that was her. She texted me a little after everyone left, to apologize. Apparently she didn’t want you to think she hated you or anything.”

I nodded, understanding. Jihyo had also joined the dinner party, but she had remained silent and stiff, not joking much, unlike the others. Admittedly, I had worried a little bit, but I figured since it was our first time meeting, I’d just have to work harder for her to like me in the future. “Aw, was she just nervous? Was that why she was so quiet?”

“Yeah, which is so funny to me, she has the loudest voice among my friends. I guess she just didn’t want to say or do anything wrong and give you a bad impression, but ended up doing the opposite because of that.” Nayeon shook the excess water off her hands and smiled at me as she dried them on a towel. “This isn’t the only time we’ll hang out, though, so she’ll have more opportunities to show you the real Jihyo. Hopefully she doesn’t scare you off with that loudspeaker voice of hers.”

“Nah, she won’t. We definitely need to hang out again. I don’t think I got to talk to Tzuyu enough, either, since Chaeyoung took all of her attention.” I dried my hands off too and looked around at Nayeon’s dining room, checking to see if there was anything else that needed cleaning. After I was sure we were completely done cleaning up, I continued the conversation. “Let’s make it soon, though, because I have plans to make sure each and every single one of your friends loves me.”

Nayeon just stared at the wall, not really listening. She blinked and looked at me mysteriously before saying, “Yeah, very soon.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, watching a mischievous smile spread across her face. “What are you up to?”

Nayeon cocked her head and grinned. “Nothing much. You’ll see.”

I sniffed, offended that she was clearly keeping a juicy secret from me, but I let it go. I’d learn about it in time. “Fine. It’s late, and I have to show up at the bakery really soon tomorrow. See you tomorrow?”

Nayeon pouted but nodded, knowing it was time for me to go. She strutted up to me and kissed me, then thanked me for helping her clean up and wash the dishes.

“No problem. You know I’ll always be here to help you.”

The smile on her face made it harder to leave. 

 

☀️

 

Nayeon walked backwards, her hand continuously waving until her back hit Tzuyu’s car. Instead of stuffing her suitcase into the car like she was supposed to, she pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of me as I stood on the driveway, toddler in my arms.

“Aaaak! You two look so cute! I can’t believe I’m leaving such an adorable sight!” 

Snap! Snap! 

“Ugh, I love it!”

Snap! Snap! 

I rolled my eyes and said, “Nayeon, please, you’re making this harder for Daeul…” I adjusted the boy on my hip as I waved her away. “Hurry, before he starts crying.”

“Please do. I’m this close to just leaving you here, woman!” That was Tzuyu using her joking voice, so I wasn’t too worried about Nayeon being left behind, but though she may have been joking, I could practically see the patience run out as Nayeon stretched to take a landscape picture of Daeul and I. 

Nayeon squealed once more, taking a few quick pictures, and finally shoved her suitcase into the backseat of the car. “Sorry, Tzuyu! You’re right, Jeong. It took such a long time to calm him down enough to get into your arms.”

Just as Nayeon was about to climb into the passenger seat, she paused and looked at us. I saw a pout form on her face and knew what she was about to do before she did it.

Tzuyu slammed the back of her head against the car’s headrest when she saw Nayeon run back to us. If she could curse Nayeon out, she would have, but Tzuyu was never that kind of person. Instead, she honked her horn and tapped her watch in an exaggerated manner, her eyes wide and her nose flared.

“Yeah, hold on!” Nayeon turned to us and cupped my face. “I’m going to miss you, baby. So much.”

My heart softened a bit. “You’re only leaving for a week, Nayeon…” I said that like it was no big deal, but this would be the first time in a really, really long time that we wouldn’t see each other daily. I knew I was going to miss her as soon as she got into the car.

If she ever did.

She touched our foreheads together and shook her head. “A week is so long. I think I’ll go crazy as soon as I sit down and put on my seatbelt,” she said in a whisper.

I laughed at how alike our minds were and gently patted her cheek. “Go, Nayeon. Tzuyu looks like she’s about to step on the gas with all of your stuff.” Nayeon just sighed and kept her forehead connected to mine. 

I knew she hated having to go, but it was important. Mina needed someone to fly over to Japan and help take care of her mother, who was terribly sick. Nayeon and Tzuyu agreed to go. It was a good reason to leave, but it didn’t make anything easier.

“Hey,” I whispered. Nayeon pouted and closed her eyes. “I’ll miss you too, Nayeon. You know I will. But you gotta go. For Mina.”

She sighed again before wistfully pulling away. “Yeah, I know. For Mina and her mom.” 

Tzuyu beeped once more, a murderous look on her face. Nayeon bit her finger and gave me a scared look. “Gotta go. I love you, please take care of yourself and Daeul. And Daeul, I love you too, cutie. Take care of Jeongyeon, okay?” 

Daeul rubbed his eye and reached out for her. Nayeon looked like she wanted to reach back, but she stopped herself and started walking backwards again. She mouthed some goodbyes before climbing into the car.

Tzuyu seemed to say something to her, probably finally! , as she rolled her eyes and drove away. 

“Say bye-bye, Daeul,” I said to the child in my arms. “Say ‘Bye-bye, mommy!’”

Daeul pointed to the ground, asking me to put him down, so I did. He walked toward the road, stopping short of where the driveway ended and waved goodbye.

“Bye-bye…” he said, looking far off into the distance. Jeez , I thought to myself, he’s just as dramatic as his mother.

Taking a deep breath, I walked over to him and took his hand. “Let’s go inside, yeah? It’s getting late.”

He let go of my hand and pointed in the general direction of where Tzuyu’s car disappeared. “Mommy?” 

“She’ll be back, don’t worry! Mommy just has to help her friend with something, okay?” 

He nodded and curled his fingers around mine, allowing me to lead him back inside the house. 

Admittedly, this made my heart jump a bit. Daeul hardly ever acknowledged me, even if it had been months since I first introduced myself to him. The most he would do was wave hello and goodbye when Nayeon asked him to. Him initiating the contact, even if it was just grabbing my hand, was very meaningful.

 

🌊

 

I didn't really realize how much I would miss Nayeon until the third day, when she finally found the time to call.

“Hey!” She said, her face filling up the entire phone screen. “I never thought I’d—wait, hold on, let me move somewhere else.”

I stared at Nayeon as she moved around with a wide smile on my face. Who knew I could miss her this much? 

“There we go. Sorry, I just didn’t want to bother Mina’s mother, since she was in the bedroom next door. I’m in the kitchen now. Um, let me see, where was I?” she asked with a laugh, “Oh right. As I was saying, I never thought I’d find the time to call you guys. I know I said I’d call immediately but…” 

I shook my head, knowing Nayeon was doing what she was supposed to. “I understand, babe. Taking care of someone can be time consuming.”

Nayeon nodded, a lost look making its way into her eyes. “It is. Her mom is worse than I had imagined. The doctors aren’t very hopeful when it comes to Mina’s mother, so it’s also hard to watch Mina cry. Sometimes she’s fine and can help her mom with a straight face, but I guess sometimes she remembers that her mom has a very low chance of living longer than a year, and she just...loses it. She loves her mom very dearly.” She seemed unable to find words to say after this, so I spoke up.

“So what’s up with her mom? I’m not sure if I’m allowed to ask, or if you’re allowed to talk about it, so if you can’t, it’s fine. I’m just curious.” 

Nayeon sighed and looked away from the camera. “When Mina called me asking for help, I assumed Mrs. Myoui had some terminal illness or something like that, but it turns out, Mina’s mother isn’t sick. Not really.”

I raised my eyebrows at this. She saw that and continued. “Well, the doctors say there is no sickness within Mina’s mother. No Alzheimer’s, no high blood pressure, nothing that could cause seizures. You know, no sickness sicknesses.”

“Wait, but that doesn’t make sense.Then wha—“ I began to say, but Nayeon cut me off.

“Age, Jeong. Old age. She’s dying of old age. The cells in her body aren’t working as well as they should. They don’t heal as quickly, you know?” She took a second to breathe in and compose herself. Clearly it was an upsetting topic, which was understandable.

“Recently,” she continued, “Mina’s mother was hospitalized because she wouldn’t wake up. That simple. She wasn’t in a coma. She snored and everything, but nothing could wake her up. Three days later, they found a nasty bed sore on her back area. They performed surgery on it, and successfully treated it. She woke up immediately. The doctors found out that the bed sore had gotten so bad, so deep, that it infected Mrs. Myoui’s blood. She was being poisoned by her own blood.”

I kept silent. Was there anything to say?

“Mina’s mother can’t get up anymore. She can’t walk. She’s getting many bed sores, and we’re all worried they’re going to do the same thing the first one did. She’s constantly in danger, Jeongyeon.”

I nodded, trying to keep cool, but really, I wasn’t sure what to say because I was freaking out. That sounded terrifying. 

“Mr. Myoui, Mina’s father, is having a hard time too, and so is Mina’s brother, as you can imagine.” For what seemed like the millionth time since we first started the call, Nayeon sighed. “This sounds awful, but I can’t wait to leave. I love helping Mina and I love keeping Mrs. Myoui’s company, but it’s—it’s...”

I nodded. I understood what she meant. 

Nayeon looked away from the camera to somewhere in front of her. My guess is that someone, probably Mina, came into the room. “What?” She asked the person in front of her. “Oh, yeah, I’m FaceTiming Jeongyeon. Wanna see her?”

I sat up and quickly fixed myself before Mina stepped into view.

“Hiya, Jeongyeon!” She exclaimed and covered , giggling to Nayeon. “Oh my, Jeongyeon, usually the FaceTime screens make people look funny, but that sure didn’t happen to you.”

I gritted my teeth, trying to take the compliment instead of saying something self-deprecating. “Haha, thanks, Mina. You’re very pretty too!” Was that a weird thing to say back? She really caught me off guard. Surprisingly, the conversation went well after the initial awkward start. We didn’t have much time to talk, but Mina told me that she wanted us all to meet up again. She promised it would be soon, just not right now. (“Maybe another time, when things are...less stressful.” I could hear the hopelessness in those words.) I agreed and told her that I would love to see her and all of our friends again.

When Mina excused herself, she told Nayeon that it was time to feed her mother. Nayeon made a face that I couldn’t quite read and told Mina that she’d be there in a bit after saying goodbye.

“Why do you need two people to feed Mrs. Myoui?” I asked once I was sure Mina had left.

Nayeon pursed her lips and rubbed her temples. “Three people, actually. Long story. I’ll tell you later, when I call again. Okay?”

“That’s fine. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about before leaving?”

“Yes, actually. How are you and Daeul doing? I was kind of hoping you two would get along a bit better now that Daeul didn’t have me to take care of him. You know, now that he has to depend on you. I thought it would make you guys closer.”

I grimaced. “It’s more or less the same. He held my hand once after you left, and he talks to me more, but that’s just to ask me to eat and get his toys out. Stuff like that.”

Nayeon frowned sadly. I knew she expected more, but it was harder to get to Daeul than we both expected. It was strange to see a three year old be so closed off.

“Hey,” I said, reaching out to touch her face like I usually did when I was comforting her. My fingers tapped on the touchscreen of my phone. 

Right, I thought to myself, she's not here. This is a FaceTime call. 

“Hey,” I said again, shoving the sadness down and out of sight for now, ”Don’t be sad! Listen, today, as soon as I hang up, I’m gonna try to play with him more, if he lets me. He’s not crying at the sight of me like he used to, right? So I’ll use that to my advantage and show him that I’m fun and cool!”

Nayeon’s frown turned into a small smile. She shook her head and said, “Fun and cool, huh? Good luck convincing him of that.”

“H-hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” The teasing me told me that she was okay again, at least enough to joke around. Comfortable with leaving her to attend to Mrs. Myoui now, I smiled at the camera and said “Hey, cutie, you should probably go now. Don’t you worry about Daeul and I, okay? You’ve got enough to stress about over there with Mina and Tzuyu. Take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, I should, you’re right. I’ll call again when I have time, okay? Tell Daeul that I love him and that I’ll be back soon!”

“I will! He loves you too!”

 

After saying goodbye, we hung up. I put down my phone and sat back in Nayeon’s couch, glancing over at Daeul, who was still playing on the living room floor. 

It felt good to talk to Nayeon again after a few days of zero contact, but it reminded me of how much I missed her. After three days of not seeing her, I had convinced myself that I was fine, that it really wasn’t that bad. But after getting to see her again, getting a little taste of what I missed—it was kind of painful.

I was a little embarrassed to admit to myself that I missed her. It felt clingy. What kind of loser missed her girlfriend—one that she had seen almost every day for nearly a year—after not seeing her for only three days? I hated it. But there was no lying to myself. As I sat there in the living room, it really hit me how much I needed her there.

“Ugh, come back already,” I said out loud, a sob forming in my throat. “I miss you.”

At that exact moment, I felt something buzz next to me. After the initial shock, I held up my phone. “Nayeon?” Had she felt my internal struggle somehow and called again to comfort me? 

This time it was a phone call, not a FaceTime call, though. So what was it, then?

“H-hello? Nayeon?” I held the phone up to my ear. “Babe, what’s up? You just hung up!”

“Hello? Oh, Jeongyeon! Baby, I forgot to remind you that Daeul’s father is going to pick him up tomorrow for the weekend. You remember that I told you about that?”

No, I had completely forgotten about that, but once she reminded me, the memory of her asking me if it was okay flooded back into my brain. How could I have forgotten such an important thing?

“Jeongyeon? Can you hear me?”

“Uh—yeah! I hear you! And yes, I remember you telling me about that. I had completely forgotten, to be honest with you. The reminder was great.”

“Great! I know you’re probably a little nervous about it.” 

“More than just ‘a little’, Nayeon,” I said, deciding to be honest with her. “It’s awkward to speak to your ex-husband, you know?”

Nayeon laughed a bit at that, making me feel a little silly. “No worries, he’s really kind. You’ll find you have a lot more in common with him than you think.”

“You mean besides having been in your pants?” I asked, using humor to distract me from the fact that I was going to meet Daeul’s father in less than 24 hours. Damn my terrible memory for making me forget! If I had remembered, I would have been able to prepare myself mentally!

“Yes, Jeongyeon, more than just that, jeez.” I heard Mina’s voice again, then Nayeon said, “Okay, I really do have to go now. Mina said Tzuyu needs more help. I just called to remind you and to wish you luck, though you really don’t need it. I promise you he won’t give you a hard time. I love you, Jeongyeon. So much.”

My heart warmed up again. How many times had she said that in the year that we’ve been together? It felt amazing every single time she did, and I wondered if I’d ever get tired of it. Hopefully not. “I love you just as much, Nayeon.”

After she hung up, I no longer had any time to cry about missing her. Nayeon’s ex was going to come by tomorrow and I had to make sure I had all of Daeul’s essentials and toys packed.

 

The next day was hectic. When it was nearing the time for his father to arrive, I had already prepared all of Daeul’s stuff, so the only thing stressing me out was my own mind. I was worried sick, imagining that he’d look at me and laugh, asking, “ This is the person that replaced me?” I never thought of myself as an insecure person, but just the thought of that happening made my skin crawl. 

Of course, I didn’t know what had happened between Nayeon and her ex. I didn’t know why they had split, if they mutually agreed to end things, if they still talked or if he still felt anything for her. In fact, I had no idea who the hell he was or what he looked like. Nayeon never talked about it and I never thought about asking about it, so really, I was pretty clueless about him.

One of the few things I did know about him was that Nayeon didn’t hate him. Why would she so willingly give her child to a man that she detested, even if it was his child as well? Plus, she had said that he and I had a lot in common, something I doubt she’d say if he was a horrible guy.

I also knew that he loved Daeul a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean he loved him a lot . He never missed a day when it came to taking care of him, and half of Daeul’s room was filled with toys just from his father. Daeul was a little artist, and though he drew egg-people, even I could tell that he always drew his father smiling and holding his hand. All of that was enough for me to know that his father loved him very much.

The doorbell rang and I froze. He was here, and my soul felt like it was trying to leave my body.

As I walked to the door, I practiced lines in my head. Hey, hi, I’m Jeongyeon! Should I mention I’m Nayeon’s girlfriend? Would that sound territorial and competitive, like as if I was shoving it in his face? I wasn’t sure, so I decided I’d avoid doing that.

He rang the doorbell again, prompting me to finally open the door. 

Before me stood a tall man with dark hair, around my age. “Hey,” he said. “I’m...Daeul’s father. Are you Jeongyeon?”

I nodded awkwardly and motioned for him to come inside. We sat down on the couch as I explained to him why Daeul wasn’t up and ready. Stiffly, I said, “Daeul is asleep right now, I think…”

Just as I those words escaped my lips, Daeul walked out of his room, blanket in one hand, the other one rubbing his eyes. 

Both of us stood up reflexively to go to him, then stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do as we looked at each other. “Go ahead. He’s probably up because he heard your voice,” I said, sitting back down.

“Hey, buddy!” The man lowered himself until he was on the floor, then crawled over to him like a dog. Daeul seemed to like this, as he ran away laughing. “Come back here and say hi to me! Come back here!”

They stayed playing like that for a while, Daeul and his father chasing each other around the coffee table. I felt a little ridiculous as I watched it happen. Eventually Daeul got tired, though, and sat down on the floor next to my feet.

“Hi…” I said, waving at him. “Good morning.”

“Hello,” Daeul said back.

My heart raced. This was the first time he talked to me, when it wasn’t asking for something, of course.

Daeul seemed to regain enough energy to get up quickly and run to his room. We both walked after him, finding him already on the floor with his construction paper and crayons laid out on the floor.

Daeul’s father squatted by him and tried to pick him up to leave, but Daeul was absolutely not having it. His face twisted angrily and his eyes threatened to spill tears. His father tried this two times before looking at me helplessly. “Hey, can I stay for a while? He really does not want to go until he finishes.”

No. No. Please leave. Your presence is making me uncomfortable. “Yeah! I don’t mind at all.” I ignored my own protesting, because really, the man hadn’t done anything against me. I was just scared.

I hurriedly pulled out one of the chairs meant for Nayeon from Daeul’s closet and offered it to his father. He took the pink chair graciously as I sat on the toddler’s tiny red bed, hearing it creak under my weight.

“Well, let me introduce myself! My name is Sanggyun. I’m not sure if you knew that already or not,” he laughed out half heartedly. 

“I’m Jeongyeon, and I definitely know you knew that already,” I joked, trying to relax. It wasn’t working. My back was still stiff. It was starting to hurt.

“That’s right! Nayeon told me, just in case. So… how are you and Nayeon doing? How long have you two been together?” He asked that innocently enough, so I decided to answer him.

“Well… It’s July now, right? So last month was our first year anniversary since we made it official. And we’re doing really well. I love her a lot.” I wondered if this was too much information. It didn’t seem so, but… “And you, uh, S-Sanggyun?”

He smiled kindly, flashing his teeth at me for a brief second before answering. “I’m great too! I’ve been with my boyfriend for about six months now and, maybe it’s too soon to say this, but I’m really in love right now. I think I want to marry him.”

The shock after hearing those words was insane. For some reason, that was the last thing I expected to hear from him, and I wasn’t even expecting him to say much at all. 

I just—I didn’t think Nayeon’s ex was gay...

Sanggyun rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me, Nayeon hasn’t told you a thing yet, huh?”

I nodded, and that’s all I could do, because my jaw was still on the floor.

“Well, I’m gay. That’s the reason Nayeon and I got a divorce. It’s crazy how she didn’t tell you about how it all happened. It’s a wild story, and Nayeon loves those.”

“Yeah, she probably thought I’d find it awkward,” I finally replied when I found my voice. “And I hate to say this, but now I want to know everything. Not to intrude on your personal life or anything, but it’s quite a shock, to say the least.”

Sanggyun chuckled. “Of course you do! You’re totally in the dark. I’m sure that Nayeon did this on purpose though. She probably planned on you and I talking at some point about this.” I believed it. Nayeon is as mysterious as she is open, and her planning on us meeting and getting to know each other was not in the least bit surprising.

“I’ll tell you, because I love telling a good story. Also, well, because Nayeon clearly wants me to. So let’s get into it!” He took a deep breath, readying himself for whatever he was about to tell me by furiously rubbing his hands together. 

“Okay. So. Nayeon and I dated as soon as we graduated from high school. It was perfect. People said we were the perfect couple, too. I thought I was dating the girl I loved, because seeing her made me happy. I always looked forward to the days when we could meet up and hang out. Everyone told me that that was love, so I believed them. Even though we already knew each other super well as friends, we decided to date for a year just to get to know each other as lovers before marriage.”

Hearing him say that made a small sliver of something seep into my bones. 

“For a few months after the wedding, everything was fine, I guess. I felt uncomfortable sometimes, but I tried to ignore it. Eventually, those ‘alright’ days turned into the darkest ones of my life. Nayeon was giving me love that I could not for the life of me reciprocate. I felt sick, guilty, gross.”

My hands curled around the blanket under me. Was this when he was still unsure about his uality? Was it internalized homophobia that was making him feel so sick?

“Then, Nayeon became pregnant, and had Daeul. Everything stabilized for a while, but just like last time, it only took a few months for the depression to return. I spent my days thinking and crying, until one day I realized that, to me, Nayeon was nothing more than my best friend. The guilt was unbearable. Married to her for this long only to realize that I didn’t love her like that? Knowing I had wasted so much of her time? It killed me.”

I looked over at Daeul, who was still drawing. Did he understand any of what was being said?

Sanggyun continued. “It was worse because I finally accepted I wasn’t attracted to women at all…”

“You didn’t know you were gay before?”

“I mean, I had an inkling before, but not really. I looked at men differently, but I didn’t really know what it meant. What the feeling actually signified. One night, I couldn’t sleep a wink. Nayeon stayed up with me, not knowing why I was so distraught, trying her best to comfort me, and I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I thought she’d hate me for being gay and for wasting her time. Still, I confessed to everything that night. We both cried like babies. I asked her at one point, ‘Do you hate me?’ to which she replied, ‘No, of course not. You being gay is perfectly fine and it’s not your fault you were misled about love.’”

“Wow…” I shook my head, surprised by all of this. “She was right. Everyone made you think that your feelings of friendship toward her were romantic or something. But it was just, like, intense platonic love, or something, right?”

“Exactly. This will probably sound dumb to you, but I honestly couldn’t differentiate the feelings.”

“No,” I said, feeling bad for him. “It’s never happened to me, but I can imagine that if you’re told all your life that this feeling actually means this, that you’ll be confused about it in your adult life.”

“Yeah,” he said, looking up as if he was trying to remember what happened next, “After that, we decided to divorce immediately. For her sake and mine. That way we both could live our lives truthfully and happily, me out of the closet and her not feeling unloved anymore. It was easy, both because the lawyer was great, but also because we both wanted it.”

So that’s what had happened . It was a lot, and I would definitely have to sleep on all of this information to let it all sink in, but it was all interesting and important. It gave me more insight on the type of person my girlfriend was and how she handled such a crisis.

“Much later, she visited me and came out to me as biual! She said she was inspired both by me and by this someone she was friends with. Some girl she’d met at Sana’s party.” He quirked his eyebrow at me, waiting for me to realize that he was alluding to me.

“Wait—me? Really?” 

“Yeah! And... that’s it! That’s the end of our story. I’m really happy with my boyfriend! Six months of pure bliss!” He pulled out his phone and showed me his lock screen, a picture of two men hugging. The face that looked at Sanggyun’s lovingly was oddly familiar...

“Wait. Wait! Is that…” I’d seen that face before, in a family picture that Mina had shown me.

“Th-that’s Kenta. Mina’s gay cousin Kenta!”

Sanggyun suppressed a laugh, finding my reaction hilarious. “The one and only,” he replied, pocketing his phone.

“Wow…” Mina’s cousin and Nayeon’s ex? I never thought I’d hear anything like it.

“Yeah, wow. It’s somewhat of a tragic story, but hey! At least it has a great ending! Both Nayeon and I are content. We don’t talk very often, but when we do, I tell her about how I’m doing with my boyfriend and she gushes about you and how lovely you are or how happy you make her. It’s so calming to know that, you know? She deserves the best of the best. After all, if she hadn’t accepted me for who I am, I probably wouldn’t be here…”

As I took in the information, I absentmindedly looked back down at Daeul, and Sanggyun did too, because we both jumped simultaneously when we saw that his son had ten different sheets of construction paper out, all full of scribbles and drawings. 

After cleaning everything and handing Sanggyun all of Daeul’s essentials and toys, it was time to say goodbye. 

“It was really nice to meet you, Jeongyeon. I mean that. You listened well to my rambling, and pairing that with everything that Nayeon tells me, you’re pretty damn amazing. I don’t want to step out of line, you know, as a man talking about two women’s relationship, but I really think you are absolutely what she deserves.”

“Thanks. See you around, Sanggyun,” I said as he stepped out of Nayeon’s house, his words on my mind. I’ve never been one to really care about a man’s opinion on my relationship, but at least his words weren’t empty. He was saying that from the bottom of his heart. “Thanks for sharing your story. It really made me see Nayeon in a new light.”

He simply smiled, probably feeling like he’d talked too much.

Daeul was in his right arm, his head peeking out enough for him to see me. He waved at me, and I waved back, awed by the way he looked like he already missed me. I watched as Daeul gave his father the toddler version of a stink eye while still waving goodbye at me, and watched as Daeul slapped his dad until he waved goodbye too. I tried not to laugh too hard.

I waited until they were long gone before running back inside and snatching my phone off the coffee table.

A minute later and I was on the phone with Nayeon, telling her everything and repeating over and over how much I loved and appreciated her.

 

🔥

 

Nayeon and I dropped onto her couch at the same time, both weary from the day we’d had so far.

“Okay, that’s done,” I groaned, feeling the back pain start forming at the base of my spine. “That was a pain in the , but at least...everything is done.”

I was referring to Nayeon’s kitchen and dining room, of course. The carpet was freshly vacuumed, the table was meticulously set and the food was ready. I even made sure to arrange her drapery in an attractive way. It was all just so our friends had a nice atmosphere that day. Nayeon said there was some big announcement that someone had, and that it was important that everything looked perfect for when it was announced.

“Yeah, now we can rest until they arrive.” Nayeon threw an arm over her face as she rested after all of this hard work.

“Is Mina coming too?”

“Yes!” Nayeon removed her arm and sat up excitedly. ”Her brother decided to stop attending university to be there for his parents, too. Mina told me he even recruited a few of his other jock friends to help as well, so Mrs. Myoui is safe in the hands of a bunch of strong athletes.”

“Oh, that sounds good. Mina must’ve been getting tired from being the only one there 24/7.”

Nayeon nodded. “Yeah, now she can focus on her job here in Korea… I think they were on the verge of firing her at one point...” She paused, then asked, “Hey, what time is it?”

I checked my phone, hoping it wasn’t too early in the day. “We finished three hours before they arrive. It’s two o’ clock. Lots of time to shower and dress nicely.”

“And maybe something else…” 

“Hmm?” The tone in her voice made me look up from my phone.

“Nothing,” she teased. I protested, sick of her keeping secrets from me. 

“Nayeon! You’ve been doing this for the past six months… Everytime you say something you say it like there's a double meaning. You’re acting real mysterious and I wanna know what it is now or on god I’ll get it out of you somehow!”

Nayeon leaned close to me, really close, an apologetic smile spreading across her face. “I’m sorry. You’ll find out soon, I promise.” She didn’t actually look all that sorry at all, though. 

“Is it going to be tonight?” I wondered if this 'big announcement' was the thing that made Nayeon all mysterious and playful. 

“Yep! Tonight!”

I didn’t even know that she knew what the announcement was. I had assumed it was going to be one of our friends that had something big to tell us. “Wait, are you the one that’s announcing something?”

Nayeon’s lips quirked. She quickly hid it, but trust me, I saw it. I grinned at her and grabbed the hand that tried to hide her playful smile. “Hey, you’ll see! You’ll see! And very soon, I promise you!”

I sat back and relaxed, trusting that I would understand everything soon. “Okay, but as soon as it’s announced, no more funny business. I don’t like being out of the loop.”

Nayeon laughed loudly and leaned in for a kiss. I met her halfway and kissed for less longer than I wanted to when she grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away gently. “Stay here.”

I whined, wanting to kiss her more, but she shushed me and left to go get something from her room. I crossed my arms and groaned loudly, letting her know that I was staying put but absolutely not happy about it.

“Oh, shush, I’ll be right back,” Nayeon shouted from her room, a laugh rolling it’s way up .

“HUMPH!” I said even louder, exaggerating my features so that when Nayeon arrived, she’d get a good chuckle.

When she did arrive, my plan took effect immediately. Nayeon bent over, finding my dramatically angry face so amusing that she pulled out her phone and snapped a picture. “You look so funny! What a cutie, what a cutie,” she repeated, over and over until she sat down next to me.

She coughed once before forcing a serious face. It cracked immediately, but she composed herself just as fast. 

“What are you up to? What did you get?” I gestured with my chin toward her room.

Nayeon bit her lip, and I couldn’t help but notice that she had something behind her back. I said nothing about it, waiting for her to tell me when she was ready.

“Okay, well, you and I have been dating for well over a year now, right?” she asked, and her voice was a little shaky. I felt my heartbeat speed up a little bit. What was going on? Was she okay?

“Yeah…” I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to respond with, but it seemed good enough for her.

“Yeah,” she repeated, “a year and two months. That’s a long time, isn’t it? Four entire seasons spent with you, next to me and on my mind. Jeongyeon, you—you, god, I’m sorry, I didn’t—I didn’t prepare anything.” She adjusted herself in her seat next to me and tried again. “Jeongyeon, you constantly play like a gallery in my head, our beautiful memories sweetening my dreams when I sleep. I’ve gotten to know you, seen many sides to you; your angry side, your jealous side, the sides of you you’re ashamed of, but that I know only make you human. I’ve also seen you be kind and gentle, seen you make jokes so terrible and cheesy that I couldn’t help but fall deeper in love with you.”

I was having a hard time processing her words, and it wasn’t just because she had started talking faster by the second sentence. I started to sense her nervousness, and of course I didn’t understand why she was so nervous. I was getting nervous too, but she was saying such kind things, things that made my chest swell… As you can imagine, I was feeling a lot of things.

“And that’s why I want to do this. I wanna do this even though I’m terrified of things getting as bad as last time. My...last marriage. I still want to take that risk, because I love you, and I feel like you’ll take care of me. Because you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.” She pulled out what was behind her back, shakily so, and I didn’t see what it was until she held it in front of me.

It was a small, pretty box, maybe made out of some type of velvet. I looked up at her, clearly confused because she chuckled nervously. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

“Jeongyeon? Do you know what this is?” Carefully and ever so slowly, she opened the box.

My heart dropped. My eyes widened. I looked up at her again, my jaw firmly shut for the first time in my life. 

“Nayeon?”

She smiled and pulled out the small ring. It glistened, just like the tears I saw welling in her eyes. 

I started shaking, more than I ever had in my life. Nayeon came closer, taking my left hand and holding it close to her heart. I stopped shaking, and her voice trembled. “Jeongyeon? Will you marry me?”

“Really?” I asked, looking deep into her dark eyes. 

“‘Really’, what?” she asked, looking deep into mine as well.

“Do you really want to marry me?” My hands shook so violently that my voice wavered because of them.

“Of course I do. I’m in love with you. I’m so in love with you Jeongyeon, and I know you love me too. That’s why I dared to buy this ring to ask you to marry me. That’s why I’m asking, again, do you want to marry me?”

Tears threatened to spill as I tried to say yes, but I couldn’t, I felt like I’d choke up, so I just nodded. Nayeon lit up and slipped on the ring—my ring. As soon as she finished, I looked at how it rested perfectly on my finger. 

She looked at me again, a little shyly, and asked me why I was crying, and I wanted to say Because the ring is beautiful, because of your kind words, because I love you so much, because…

“Because I wanted this too,” I choked out, surprised I was able to speak at all, “I wanted to ask you so badly, but I was so afraid.”

Then, of course, I threw myself at her and kissed her until my lips got tired, and even then, she started peppering me with kisses.

When we finally pulled away from each other, I kept a shaky fist near my lips, thinking about everything yet absolutely nothing. I was still reeling. The love of my life, my one and only, asking me to marry her…

“Was this the announcement?” I asked, once my heart calmed down and I was able to talk without crying.

“Yes! I wanted to do it in private first, just in case, but I had a feeling...that you were ready too. I’m so happy to hear that you wanted this too...”

I looked down at my hand, then back up at her. I couldn’t believe that my girlfriend wasn’t my girlfriend anymore, but my fiancée. 

“My fiancée,” I voiced my thoughts out loud, and Nayeon nodded.

“My fiancée,” she repeated. “The girl of my dreams, my one and only.”

 

🌴 

 

Chaeyoung stood up in a rush and shook her fists happily, looking not unlike an excited child. Tzuyu stayed sitting cooly, but the way her cheeks were hiding her eyes told me that she was just as happy as Chaeyoung.

“Cool! Congrats to the both of you!” Momo said after Chaeyoung finally quieted down, “And we’re totally invited right? Because if we’re not, that would totally . I’m the best and most thoughtful gift-giver of them all.”

“Of course we’re invited. Nayeon knows we’d sneak in anyway, so to make things easier she’s inviting us,” Sana followed up, resting a hand on Momo’s. “She’d hate to watch us be arrested for trespassing on the day of her wedding, isn’t that right?”

Jihyo grinned at everyone, enjoying seeing how others reacted to our engagement news. “Have you decided when you’re getting married? It better not be too soon, because I need to buy a dress in time.”

“No, not anytime soon,” Nayeon said cheekily, explaining that she had just proposed only hours ago.

“Wow,” Mina said, the corners of her lips curving up. “Did you really plan on waiting this long to propose, or did you simply procrastinate?”

Nayeon’s smile faltered and she admitted that she had wanted to do it for a while. “I was scared, so I kept putting it off. But hey! At least I did it!” She lifted my hand and showed off the ring, making me blush as our friends marveled at it. “Normally I’m not one to follow the norms of society and buy an expensive diamond ring to express my love for my woman, but I couldn’t help it. I saw it and thought of it on her finger! I couldn’t get it out of my mind, so I bought it the day after I first saw it.”

“Nice, but you still totally procrastinated,” Dahyun said, and Momo retaliated by reminding everyone that the kindergarten teacher was the bigger procrastinator here. That started a whole discussion and the whole room erupted into chaos, with some of the girls defending Dahyun, others siding with Momo, and, oddly enough, Sana shouting nonsense so she didn’t have to pick between her girlfriend Momo and her new best friend Dahyun.

Nayeon caught my eye as I leaned back, a content smile playing on her face. With a raised eyebrow, she raised her glass, and I did too, and silently we celebrated successfully telling our friends we were engaged.

I sipped on my lemonade and relaxed into my seat, smiling to myself as I watched the rest of my friends make enough noise to make it sound like a house party.