Nothing Burns Like the Cold (Jungeun)

Based on "Avatar: The Last Airbender" and LOONA

Story and Characters by Loo Loo and SMZ

Written by Loo Loo

Gasp. Jungeun woke up to the sound of her heavy breathing, feeling the sweat on her face. She got up and rushed over to her open window, trying to calm herself with a hand to her chest. The crescent moonlight glimmered over the distant ocean and shone off the rooftops of the capital. Jungeun took a moment to inhale the cool wind. She put one of her elbows on the window sill, chin resting on her shaking palm, just staring out at the sight.

It was the first night back in her home since the incident at sea and her shoulder was killing her. She could still feel the sting of the blade, could still see it coming toward her.

After a while of staring to calm herself down, she sat down at her desk and lit a candle on the wall. In front of her was a half-written letter. She spent the rest of her dark morning staring at the paper, writing something, then staring again.

As the sun rays began to creep up over the horizon, she wrote the final word on the letter before shutting her tired eyes and lying her head against the desk.

Jungeun entered the throne room, her footsteps echoing throughout the dimly lit room. There were pillars on either side of her, forming a path up to the throne where her mother sat with a wall of fire burning behind her.

Jungeun walked up in front of the throne, avoiding her mother’s eyes and kneeling before her. Then she looked up to her. “Mother, I came to apologize for what happened. I take full responsibility and—”

“You were beaten. By a girl who couldn’t bend. Do you know how embarrassing that is? Do you know how this will make us look?” Her mother pushed her hair behind her ear, almost as if she wanted Jungeun to look her in both eyes. “That was pathetic. You are lucky that there were people there to protect you.”

“I know mother. I apologize.” Jungeun cleared the lump in . “I’m going to train harder than I ever have before, I promise you.”

Her mother looked down at her. Jungeun couldn’t get a read on what she was thinking, there was just a cold look in her eyes.

She continued. “I wanted to make sure I still had your faith and confidence."

“Well, I'm not heartless. You are my only child and you always will be... But that little incident on the ship made me realize... I think it's about time you started to take your role as the heir seriously. You never know when me or your father won't be with you anymore. When that day comes, you will be responsible for everyone in this country. Soon, we'll have to find a proper partner for you to marry."

"Yes, of course."

There was a moment of silence, only filled by the sound of fire. Jungeun's mother seemed to be contemplating something. "I don't have the gift of firebending, I had to rely solely on my wits to defend myself... but you do have it. And it pains me to see you not take it seriously.”

Jungeun opened to talk but the words got stuck for a moment. She knew everything her mother said was right, she was always right. It was understandable that the incident made her feel this way, more than that... it was necessary. "I know mother. I promise I will. Starting right now I'll train every hour of everyday, even when I'm injured. I'll be someone you can be proud of to give the crown to."

"I don't just want words. I want you to show me your dedication."

"Of course. I'll do whatever you ask."

Her mother put her hand on her chin. "Hmm... how about that friend of yours? The one you brought over for dinner."

Jungeun swallowed hard, trying to keep her cool. "Ryujin?"

"Yes, her. I don't like her. She does a good job of hiding it, but I can tell she's unhinged deep down. She seems like the type of person who is only friends with you because of your power. Those kinds of people are dangerous, and you need to eliminate them from your life."

"Mother, I respect your opinion, really. But Ryujin isn't like that. She's just a little... stern. But she's a good friend, not just to me but to Heejin and everyone else."

"Appearances can be deceiving. Do you want to know why I think what I think about her?"

Jungeun just remained kneeling, waiting for her answer.

"It's because she's me. I acted the exact same way when I was her age. If you care about your power, you can't be friends with people like me."

Jungeun didn't know what to say to that. She thought about it for a moment, comparing the two. There were definitely some similarities, but she couldn't bring herself to believe Ryujin was only with her for her own personal gain.

Nonetheless, she still nodded. "Yes mother. I promise I'll be more careful from now on. I won't be around her anymore."

Ryujin pinned Jungeun down on her bed with a hand on her good shoulder and attacked her lips. Jungeun’s heart beat with the heat of the sun. Her eyes closed, trying to enjoy every little moment. Even with all of her power and prestige, it was this moment that Jungeun couldn’t get enough of. The helplessness, the vulnerability, the feral looks that Ryujin gave her… Predator and prey, she loved every bit of it.

Ryujin pulled back and Jungeun opened her eyes to catch her smiling, then looking at her injured shoulder. Ryujin put her hand on it.

“Ow.” Jungeun grimaced and reached over to Ryujin’s hand but didn’t push it away. “Don’t touch it, Ryu.”

Ryujin stayed staring at the shoulder with the same mischievous smile, her black hair covering one of her eyes like a shadow. Then she looked back at Jungeun and pressed down on it. “What are you gonna do about it, princess?”
Jungeun gasped in pain and laughed nervously. “What are you doing?”

Jungeun tried to push Ryujin’s hand away, but it didn’t budge. Before she could let another word out, Ryujin kissed her again and put even more pressure on it. Jungeun let out a loud grimace into Ryujin. She clutched hard onto Ryujin’s hand, but was afraid of what would happen if she tried to push her away again.

Then, she felt one of Ryujin’s fingers curl. Her nail pressed down even harder on the bandage. Jungeun let out a muffled yell and finally pushed Ryujin’s hand away. She grimaced, showing her teeth, and hovered her hand over the wound. Jungeun looked back at Ryujin who was still smiling. “What was that about?”

Ryujin had always been aggressive with her. It was one of the reasons Jungeun couldn't stay away from her. Everyone else was always polite and scared to step on her toes, but not this girl. She was different. Maybe a little too much.

Ryujin lied on the bed with her head under Jungeun’s chin, next to the wounded shoulder and lightly tapped the area around the cut without saying anything for a while. When she finally did speak, it was as if nothing had happened. “… So what was it you wanted to tell me?”

Jungeun took a deep breath, feeling the light taps around her wound.  She wasn’t even phased by it anymore. Could she really do this? On the way to Ryujin's house, Jungeun had gone through what she was going to say over and over. But just as always, she forgot every single word and became a mess once she was in her presence.

“Um, I…” Jungeun inhaled again, this time a stuttered breath. “I have something I want to ask you.”

Ryujin sat up immediately, her face beaming, and took Jungeun’s hands. “What is it?”

“Ryujin…” Jungeun shook her head, angry at the fragility of her voice. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

The grip on Jungeun’s hands tightened a bit. “Can’t what?”

“Us. I can't... be with you anymore. I'm going to be married soon, I want to dedicate myself to my firebending, and I can't have any distractions in my life. I want to focus and become the person I know I can be, someone the whole Fire Nation can look up to and be proud of.

Ryujin was glaring a hole through Jungeun. “Is that all I am to you? A distraction?”

“No, no!” Jungeun waved her hands to reinforce her point. “You are far from a distraction. My mother would kill me if she saw us together... but we can still see each other… as friends… until I can get to where I want to be.”

“Where you want to be…” Ryujin just shook her head. “Look Jungeun, there’s no reason why you can't be my girlfriend.”

“It may seem that way to you… but should I really be?”

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, is it really worth it?"

Ryujin raised an eyebrow at her and tilted her head to the side. "Jungie, you’re scared."

Jungeun felt vulnerable again. Ryujin burned away all of her defenses. "What? No. Why would I be scared?"

Jungeun scooted away from Ryujin. She felt a deep desire to guard her vulnerability. Was there some truth to what Ryujin was saying? No. She wouldn't allow herself to even consider it. She had to set the fear and weakness on fire. No more. "I'm not afraid of anything.”

“Then why does it seem so obvious that you are?”  Ryujin grabbed Jungeun’s arm and pulled her back next to her. “What are you so afraid of?”

Jungeun couldn’t even look her in the eyes anymore. “Nothing. Why are you asking me this?”

“Because I— Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Jungeun did as she was told. She had expected Ryujin to be angry, but this was just… Was Jungeun… actually afraid of her? She tried her hardest to bury that feeling. Jungeun could see Ryujin searching her eyes for something, still glaring at her. She needed to get out of there, but there was something about Ryujin’s touch, the rage that she hung onto her arm with… Jungeun couldn’t move.

Ryujin spoke with authority. “You're afraid of what people would think. You're afraid of your mother. You’re afraid of what she’ll do if you tell her about us.” A grin formed on her face. “Well you don’t have to be. You and me, we can stand up to her. We can show her. We can show everyone that there’s nothing wrong with us being together.”

“I…” Jungeun couldn’t even begin to find the words. “I can’t. I love my parents.”

“And if they love you, they’ll understand.”

Jungeun felt the tears welling up inside her. She couldn’t hide from it; she couldn’t hide from Ryujin. The words rose to the tip of her tongue with a burning urge. She wanted so badly to be with her, to just drop everything and fall into her blazing embrace.

But it wasn't about what she wanted. She couldn't be selfish. Ryujin was not from a noble family, so Junguen's parents would never approve of it. Jungeun was their only child. She had to think of her family and put what was best for them first, it’s not like she could just run away from her responsibilities. Not only that, but all of the attention Ryujin would get from being with the princess. If she would were to ever get hurt because of her association with Jungeun...

"I just can't be with you anymore, Ryujin. That's all I have to say."

Ryujin still held onto Jungeun's arm, squeezing tighter, her eyes becoming glossy with buried rage. Suddenly, she pulled Jungeun toward her and they kissed again. 

Jungeun was helpless for a moment, closing her eyes and almost giving in. Then she snapped them open, wrestled her arm free, and jumped up. "Ryujin! I said I can't be with you anymore." Jungeun felt the sting from how deep Ryujin had dug into her arm.

Ryujin walked over to the door and stood in front of it. "I'm not moving until you tell me exactly what's going on. I'm not stupid. I'm not some toy you get to play with until it's inconvenient for you. Princesses aren't the only ones with feelings."

That last sentence was the closest Jungeun had ever seen Ryujin get to crying. 

"What do you want? Can't you see how hard this is for me?" Jungeun threw her hands up in exasperation.

"I want you... to look me in my eyes and tell me you don't want to be with me. Not that you can't, not that you shouldn't, but that you in your heart don't want anything to do with me."

"Ryujin... I said I still want to be—"

"Well I don't. It's either we're together... or we're strangers. Which do you want?"

Jungeun looked past the hair partially covering one of Ryujin's eyes and deep into the crackling flames within them. This had gone on long enough. "I can't be with you. Move out of the way."

Jungeun took a step toward the door but Ryujin didn't move. Instead, the look on her face grew hotter. She spawned a ball of fire in her hand, never taking her eyes off of Jungeun. "You think you can take advantage of me and walk away to your fancy palace and just leave me here without telling me the truth? Are you that weak? Are you that heartless?"

Jungeun looked down at the fire, then back up at her eyes. Was this girl serious?  "Ryujin... if you really care about me, you'll let me walk out of here. Stop acting like a child."

Ryujin's eyes widened and she shot the fire towards Jungeun. Jungeun felt the heat rush past her cheeks as the fire narrowly missed her and flew out through the window. She watched it dissipate and then looked back at Ryujin, her own eyes wide in shock. “Are you insane?”

Ryujin didn’t say anything. She stared at the floor with the same intensity, as if not even regretting what she had just done. She took a step to the side. "Go run back to your mother if that's what you want. I hope you enjoy your waterbending girlfriend."

Jungeun was too startled to even ask her who she was talking about, but it's not like she needed to. Jungeun walked past Ryujin and opened the door before stopping. She didn't know when she would see her again. Even after what just happened, there was something in her that wanted to give Ryujin a hug... but she couldn't.

Jungeun took one last look at her. Ryujin was still holding that intense stare with the glossy eyes.

"I'm sorry," was all Jungeun could say as she stepped out of the room and made her way out into the streets of the capital. 

It was then that she realized just how disconnected she was from everyone else. People walked past her, not even realizing who she was. Maybe some had a suspicion, but the common clothes she wore probably threw them off.

Jungeun walked home alone, the cool wind hitting her face.

The Next Day:

The clouds gathered in the distance. It was late in the afternoon and Jungeun was outside the palace, practicing her firebending with her good arm. She was in a small firebending arena with empty seats forming a square around her. She moved in and out of the shadow cast by the partly cloudy skies as she shot out the flames with all of her built up rage. Her grunts and hard footsteps echoed around her. She thought back to the night on that ship, a faint image of Kahei spinning and jumping in front of her.

Then, she heard footsteps approach her from behind. She turned, panting and pushing the hair out of her eyes.

It was Heejin and Hyunjin.

Jungeun couldn't help but roll her eyes and turn her back to them, going back to her training.

"Jungeun!" Heejin's deep voice joined the sound of footsteps and flames that echoed through the arena. "What are you doing here by yourself?"

Jungeun didn't turn around. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Hyunjin's voice joined the lonely party. "Hehe, you look like a little rag doll bending with one arm."

Jungeun heard a loud, "shhh," obviously from Heejin. If it had been any other person, she might have gotten a little upset, but she was too used to Hyunjin by then.

"Don't you need a training partner to... train?" Heejin asked.

As their footsteps got too close, Jungeun stopped her bending and tried to catch her breath, letting herself collapse and sit on the stone floor. "My master's sick today, so I just decided to do it myself."

Heejin kneeled down and gave her a tight hug, being careful not to touch her bum shoulder. Hyunjin just stood there and waved.

"Are you doing okay?" Heejin asked.

"Yes." Jungeun continued panting as the adrenaline began to wear off and the stinging in her shoulder burned hotter. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Heejin shot a glance at Hyunjin, who returned her look. "Well… we heard what happened.”

Jungeun looked away, her hair shielding her eyes from them. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s fine,” Heejin said. “We just came by to see how you were doing.”

“Well I’m doing fine.” Jungeun couldn’t help but raise her voice. Even being somewhere near the topic was irritating. She just wanted them to leave so she could get back to drowning her sorrows in fire, but they were just being considerate. There was no need to be too rude.

There was a short moment of silence, then Jungeun heard Hyunjin’s soft voice whispering, “Ask her.” She pretended not to hear it and just wondered what it was they were going to say.

It was Heejin that asked her.“Umm, Jungeun? Would you want to go to the beach with us?”

Jungeun shut her eyes and sighed softly. “The beach?”

“We thought you might want to come." Heejin smiled. "You seem… pretty lonely here?”

Jungeun looked back at them. “I’m not lonely. You guys go, I wouldn’t want to be an annoying third wheel babysitter.”

“Well…” Heejin’s worried eyes looked at Hyunjin again, as if afraid of how Jungeun was going to react to what she said next. “Ryujin’s going and she says she wants to apologize and—"

Jungeun immediately rose to her feet and showed them her back again. “Leave. I don’t want anything to do with her.” She ignited a flame in her hand but just looked down at it for a while, waiting to hear their footsteps go in the other direction.

“Jungeun…” Heejin began. “Ryujin is really broken up about this. You don’t have to get back together or anything but if you just let her apologize I think she’d feel—"

“I’m not apologizing to anyone.” Jungeun shot the fire straight ahead before turning back to them. “Now let me train in peace like I was doing before.”

Then, something else came out of Hyunjin’s mouth. “Why are you afraid?”

… The fire within Jungeun shot up. “Why does everyone keep asking that?!”

Hyunjin was unfazed by the outburst. “Well Ryujin told us that—”

“Oh so you just choose to believe everything that Ryujin tells you about me, huh?” Jungeun couldn’t contain herself anymore. All of the stress, the expectations, the feelings she had for Ryujin... Everything she had tried so hard to hide began to leak through her mask. “Well what else did she tell you about me, huh? Is my life just a big play that everyone else gets to write?”

Heejin went up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Jungeun, she didn’t mean anything by it. I know you want to be alone, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving you like this. We’re your friends, you can talk to us.”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to go out and play with friends like a little girl. I have responsibilities to my family, to my country… not that you would know anything about that.”

Heejin raised an eyebrow at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Jungeun's eyes widened in disbelief. Was she really this clueless? "Heejin... are we really gonna have this discussion? You're the AVATAR and you've never left the Fire Nation. You're nineteen years old and you still live with your parents. You should be out traveling the world and mastering all the elements... do you know how many people would love to be in your position? And you're throwing it away because YOU'RE scared to leave your little nest."

"Leave her alone." Hyunjin spoke with a strength Jungeun hadn't heard before. "Her parents are just worried about her, there's nothing wrong with that."

"Well maybe if she weren't such a weak Avatar, no one would be worried about her dying like—"

Before Jungeun could finish her rant, Hyunjin stepped in front and pointed a finger at her. "Don't you DARE open your mouth about to Heejin like that."

Jungeun looked her dead in the eyes. "Oh, are you babying her too? When are you gonna let her grow up, Hyunjin?"

"Right after I remove my fist from your stupid face if you don't shut up."

"Hey!" Heejin stepped in between them and turned to Jungeun. "We're sorry for bothering you. We'll leave now." Heejin took Hyunjin's hand as they walked away. Hyunjin held her stare for a while before putting her arm around Heejin, pulling her close, and leaning her head against Heejin's.

Jungeun waited for them to be all the way out before going back to her training, this time lifting her injured shoulder and shooting fire from it. She immediately let out a yell and dropped it again. A searing pain ran up and down her arm as she stomped her foot in frustration. The yell circled around her in a mocking echo as she shot out more fire. It was a vicious cycle, the yells became her training partner. Jungeun let out a yell and tried to burn her, envisioning how she would look... Her pretty little eyes cold, her hair an inferno.

Gasp. Jungeun woke up out her nightmare sweating and panting again. She went over to the window, ready to open it, but stopped. It was drizzling outside. 

Not wanting to get her room wet, she ran downstairs and opened up a door that led to the garden. For a while, she just stood there, inhaling the cool air and listening to the rain make music with the grass. 

Jungeun just stared into it, letting whatever came into her mind stand in the rain. Different people stood there, one replacing the other... Her mother, her father, Ryujin, Heejin, and Hyunjin. Kahei also stood there, her face behind the mask.

Then, someone else stood in front of her. It was the other mysterious girl on the ship that night. Jinsoul. Instead of being replaced by another, Jinsoul lingered there... eventually smiling at her and pushing the damp hair from her face. She stretched out her hand towards Jungeun.

Jungeun just stared at her smiling face, completely unlike what she saw before. It was a comforting smile, like someone from her childhood telling her to step out of her home.

Jungeun stepped out into the rain as Jinsoul vanished. She tilted her head up as lightning shot through the heavens. The cold rain was her solitude.

Dear Sooyoung,

I'm sorry for not writing back to you earlier. To tell you the truth, I've had better days. How have you been since my last letter?

I assume you'll be in Ba Sing Se when this gets to you. Unfortunately, I couldn't exactly go on my vacation like I planned. I'm sure you'll know why soon, but I'm fine besides a bad cut on my shoulder.  So I'm sorry if my handwriting is messy, but I literally can't use my writing arm at the moment.

I wanted to ask you something. Something that I think would be good for the both of us, you and my family. The ship that attacked us and stole our belongings was from the Water Tribes. The two people in charge of the ship were Princess Kahei and a pirate named Jinsoul. They are very dangerous and need to be arrested. When this gets to you, they'll probably have gotten off the sea and gone somewhere in the Earth Kingdom.

Would you help me capture them?

My family is ready to offer a big reward to anyone who can. And I'm sure the Earth kingdom royal family would pay handsomely for their daughter too. You'll be speaking with them, but I'm sure it wouldn't take much convincing to get them to help us out as well. If they do, we can talk about what to do with Princess Kahei but Jinsoul would be ours to punish.

I know you're more than capable of doing it and I would love it if you accepted.

Love, Jungeun.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Next week we will check in and see how Hyejoo is doing before getting a look at things from Avatar Heejin's perspective.

Loo Loo Twitter: https://twitter.com/LLooxix

SMZ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Sanasorbit