First came the loud sigh, then the loud thump of a book bag.

“What happened?” Yifan asked without looking up from his phone. By this point he knew the tell-tale signs of his best friend’s bad day. Junmyeon would come in and make his annoyance of the day clear as he wasn’t the kind of person to start talking about his problems without a prompt. When Yifan finally looked up from his phone, a frown tightened his face in concern. At this point, Junmyeon would have plopped himself in the beanbag by his door and started talking about what had been frustrating him, but today was different. There was no reaching mindlessly in his bag for his textbook so they could study later, there was no exaggerated groan, not even a ‘don’t even get me started.’ He held his violin case still, the grip around the handle made his knuckles turn white. From this angle, Yifan could barely make out the glassy look to Junmyeon’s eyes or how he avoided Yifan’s gaze.

There was a soft sigh as Junmyeon closed his eyes and said, “it’s nothing.”

Yifan hadn’t seen Junmyeon this defeated since he didn’t make first violinist. He rose to his feet from his desk chair and went over to the shorter man to gently take the violin case from his hands and put it down. “Jun… What’s wrong?” He asked softly, his heart ached for his friend. “You know you can tell me anything.”

With another sigh, Junmyeon finally craned his head back to look up at his giant of a best friend. A height he envied and swore he would grow to one day. Yifan always found that so amusing, considering they had mostly passed the age of large growth spurts. With an encouraging smile from Yifan, the soft-faced man walked to the bed to sit down with his posture stiff. “It’s just… do you really think there is a special someone out there for everyone?”

An odd question, Yifan thought as he joined him on the bed. “Well,” he began, still formulating the thoughts more coherently in his head before he voiced them. “I think there might be multiple people out there you are very compatible with, like, if there really is one perfect person out there for someone it would be near impossible to ever meet them when you think about how many people there are on the planet!” Suddenly, his explanation didn’t feel as wonderful as he thought it was when he saw how dejected Junmyeon looked. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know what I think,” Junmyeon said so bitterly that Yifan almost wanted to tug at the man’s soft cheek just to make sure it really was his best friend. “I just… I wanted there to be this one… this one and only! But I’m starting to think that some people are just destined to be alone…”
 

A frown marred Yifan’s face once again as this… hopeless side of Junmyeon was completely new. The shorter of them was usually so optimistic, his positivity would even annoy Yifan at some points! “Dude… What are you talking about? I mean, I think some people are happier to be on their own. You know our history teacher? Miss Do? She just wants to travel and be with her cat, I don’t think she could handle another person in her space all the time.”

“Or they just get used to being on their own,” Junmyeon grumbled and while Yifan was worried, he was starting to get annoy with how cryptic the other was being.

“Just spit it out already, Junmyeon! What’s really bothering you?” He demanded in a harsher tone than he had meant, but he hated beating around the bush. Especially when it came to things that were just between them, they had known each other since elementary school, they had never hidden anything from each other!
 

“I think I’m someone who is going to end up alone! Forever! I don’t think I’m someone that someone else can love!” Junmyeon snapped back, matching the harshness that Yifan had first delivered. However, whatever anger or annoyance Yifan first held had dissipated immediately at his friend’s confession.
 

“Dude,” he muttered and pushed a hand through his own hair. “What’s making you say all this? You are literally the sweetest guy I know!” Yifan’s ranting had started, and now he wasn’t sure he could stop. “Sure, you’re a short ,“ he was surprised when the usual smack wasn’t delivered to his arm. “You have a soft but a seriously handsome face, girls are really into that cute , ya know? Not to mention you’re a damn hopeless romantic. Like, kindness literally radiates off you, I swear!”

He didn’t notice the way Junmyeon’s eyes lit up just the smallest bit as his best friend started to praise just those couple of things about him.

“But it’s not just about yourself, is it?” Yifan asked, knowing his best friend was not one to beat himself up over just his looks and Yifan was sure he had never heard Junmyeon call himself a bad person.

For the first time since he had stepped into Yifan’s room, the corners of Junmyeon’s lips turned upwards but the smile was so far off from reaching his eyes that it felt like it wasn’t there at all as Yifan felt it tug at his heart strings. “Of course not,” he whispered and watched Yifan’s face. “It was just something that got brought up after band practice today,” his voice sounded so soft and fragile as he bowed his head.

“Do I need to kick someone’s , Jun?” Yifan asked softly, but he meant it. If anyone dared to make his best friend feel like this, he’d beat them to an inch of their life. He reached up and gently brushed the bangs out of Junmyeon’s eyes, making the smaller look up again and for a moment it felt like the room was the only place that existed in the world. Yifan had to force himself to swallow so the lump in his throat would go away because Junmyeon genuinely was the most gorgeous person he had ever met.

“No, they… They were just comparing dates and boyfriends or girlfriends,” he responded after laughing a little. “Like, it just made me realise no one’s ever gone on a date with me. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t tried! Girls just aren’t interested. And like, they were even joking at parties about the amount of people they’ve kissed. I’ve never been kissed!” Junmyeon quickly covered his face in embarrassment with his own hands, a sharp sigh escaping between his palms. “I’m such a loser.”

Yifan’s large hands wrapped around Junmyeon’s petit wrists to move his hands away. “You’re not a loser. Going on dates and kissing… it’s not the be all and end all, okay?” To say he was shocked when Junmyeon roughly pulled his hands away was a bit of an understatement, it almost felt like a slap across the face for Yifan.

“Of course, you would say that, you’ve been kissed,” Junmyeon started. “In fact, dozens of kisses! You’re cool! You get invited to parties!” The resentment in his voice was hard to miss and Yifan’s jaw clenched because this was obviously not something that had suddenly come on. Junmyeon had thought these things before. No one became this angry after just one day. “You get to go on dates because you’re so handsome! Oh, dammit, Yifan! You’re so good looking and it’s so annoying hearing the girls gush over you in class while I people barely acknowledge my existence! Half the people in our grade keep thinking I’m the new kid every term!”

“What do you want from me, Jun? You want me to stop going out or something?” Yifan demanded and he watched as the small man looked like he was about to explode from frustration.

“No! That’s not the point at all. I just… I want to be able to have some sort of teenage experience, you know? I don’t want to get to college and be a freaking in every aspect of life,” he put his face in his hands again and hunched over.

Silence filled the room for a few long moments as Yifan debated what to do to help his best friend. He thought about setting up a double date before, but while Yifan was desperately trying to pass as straight he couldn’t possibly focus on the girl he was on a date with if Junmyeon was there. A thought crossed Yifan’s mind and at first, he shoved it away, the embarrassment climbing up his neck his hot patches of red and his ears felt like they were on fire. His heart pounded against his ribcage so hard to the point he could hear the blood rushing through his ears and for a moment he feared Junmyeon could hear the panic rushing through him. And before he could think any further, his mouth was moving, and his ears were left to pick up the words leaving his mouth.

“What if I was your first kiss?”

Yifan’s eyes widened dramatically as he realised what he just said to his best friend of eleven years who seemed to stiffen before he lifted his head from his hands. “What?” He whispered before turning his head to stare at the taller man who was still just as shocked as he was.

But, Yifan wasn’t one to back down or take back things he said – even if he was a fool. “I mean,” he cleared his throat. “We’re best friends. It’s not the grossest thing we would have done. Plus, I mean, it makes it memorable, right? So, why not have your first kiss be with me?”

The moment of truth, would Junmyeon lose his mind over the thought of committing a homoual act with his best friend even in the most platonic way? Even if it wasn’t completely platonic for Yifan. The tension that Yifan was feeling was so suffocating he felt like all his bones were about to crushed until Junmyeon straightened up.

“Okay.”

Wait, what? Did he just say okay? Yifan’s mind went blank for a moment as he realised that he was about to kiss his best friend. The person he had imagined kissing on way too many occasions, the person he thought of when he experienced his first sloppy first kiss and wished the awkward moment had been with Junmyeon.

“Yifan?” A soft hand rest on Yifan’s firm forearm. “Do… Do you not want? Have you changed your mind?” He sounded just as nervous and on edge as Yifan felt, whose eyes had now returned their focus to Junmyeon’s face.

Absolutely not, there was no way he would pass up this opportunity – is what he thought. “No, don’t sweat it, I’d do anything for you, bro,” Yifan grinned as he smoothly hid his discomfort and made this as platonic as possible.

“Then… Show me what to do,” Junmyeon whispered and stared up through his thick lashes up at Yifan, who thought he might have died straight on the spot.

He reached up his large hands and gently held Junmyeon’s jaw, which was so small, and he watched as Junmyeon’s eyes flickered to his lips as his own parted and a tongue darted out briefly to his lips. Oh, dear God. “Just… Push me away if you don’t like it,” Yifan whispered before he leaned in. His lips pressed against Junmyeon’s soft ones and he couldn’t help tightening his hold on Junmyeon just a little. They stayed very still for a few prolonged moments before he felt Junmyeon press his lips back into his and he felt his heart restart. It had stopped?

Yifan naturally turned his head and pressed his lips more confidently into Junmyeon’s as he gently on the bottom lip that was caught between his own. The sharp intake Junmyeon took through his nose when he did that sent some very strong feelings down south for Yifan, and then there were the fists in his shirt as Junmyeon pulled him a little closer. Before he knew it, he was pulling Junmyeon into his lap, his large hands slipping under the other’s school short to rest on his hips.

He was almost offended when Junmyeon pulled away, but he regained his pride when he saw how swollen the other’s lips were and how breathless he was. The pink in Junmyeon’s ears was so cute as the smaller gave a breathy laugh and looked away shyly. Yifan felt like he was on a roll.

“And… How about I take you on a date?”

Junmyeon’s laugh was so light and gentle. “As long as you make that memorable too.”

So much for an innocent, platonic kiss.