After hours of tossing and turning Minji gave up trying to sleep. There was no way that she could sleep, as she had far too much stress and worries on her mind. Sighing, she got out of bed and made her way into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She checked the time on her phone; ‘3AM.’ She groaned because she knew she had to be up early as she had to practice for the group’s comeback. Taking a sip of her water she let out a deep sigh.

“Minji?” She heard a familiar voice call her name. It was Yoohyeon. Minji looked up at her and weakly smiled.

“What are you doing up at this hour?” Minji asked.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Yoohyeon replied as she sat opposite Minji.

Minji didn’t reply, instead she just gave Yoohyeon another weak smile and took another sip of water. She could feel Yoohyeon’s eyes burning into her head. She knew that Yoohyeon would persist on finding out what’s wrong, but she didn’t want to burden her.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong or are we going to sit here for the rest of the night?” Yoohyeon asked, pulling Minji out of her thoughts.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Minji replied, hoping that Yoohyeon would accept that answer.

Unfortunately for Minji, Yoohyeon did not accept it and pressed; “I can tell that something is wrong, Minji. I just want to help you.”

“I don’t want to burden you though, and it’s late. We have practice tomorrow so you should go back to sleep. I’ll be fine.” Minji said calmly. Although with the last sentence she wondered who she was trying to convince. Herself of Yoohyeon.

“You’re right. We do have practice tomorrow which is why you should tell me what’s wrong so we can figure it out together and then go back to sleep.” Yoohyeon tilted her head. “I’m not being this persistent to be a pain in the , Minji. I’m doing it because I care.” Yoohyeon said softly. “Please just tell me what’s wrong.”

Minji sighed. She could see the sincere worry in Yoohyeon’s eyes, and the softness in her voice. She knew that she could trust Yoohyeon, as she could with the other members, but she just felt like she’d be a burden. She also knew her persistent Yoohyeon could be. She bit her lip and thought for a moment, although it was hard as she had Yoohyeon staring at her.

“Alright,” Minji took a deep breath. “Tonight just hasn’t been a very good night for me. I have a lot on my mind, and I just want to talk to someone but I don’t want to be a burden on anyone.” She sighed.

“You’re not a burden to me, Minji.” Yoohyeon said sincerely. “You should know that you can talk to me about anything.”

“I know,” Minji nodded.

“So tell me. What’s going on in your pretty head?” Yoohyeon smiled at Minji.

“I’m nervous about our comeback,” Minji admitted. “I’m worried that I’ll slip up on stage or forget the choreography or something. I know it’s only minor things which will never happen, but it plays on my mind a lot during comeback season.”

Yoohyeon nodded. She completely understood what Minji meant as she too had those same fears, however tonight wasn’t about her tonight was about Minji. “I feel the same way to be honest, but we both know that neither of us will slip up or forget our choreography especially you, Minji.” Yoohyeon paused for a moment. “Is that why you’ve been practicing extra lately?”

Minji nodded. “Yes, to be honest I feel like I need to practice every second of every day. I want to perform perfectly; I don’t want to let the group or our fans down.”

“I understand that completely; but you know that practicing every single second of every day is impossible, don’t you?” Yoohyeon thought for a few moments. “You’re not usually like this though, Minji. I feel like there’s something else that you’re not telling me.”

“I know,” Minji lowered her head. “I just feel insecure, I guess.”

“Insecure about what?” Yoohyeon tilted her head. “Talk to me, let it out.”

“Everything,” Minji replied. “I feel insecure about everything about myself. I feel like the group would be better without me in it, honestly. I feel like you’re all way better singers, dancers and rappers than I could ever dream of being and honestly I feel like I just bring you all down.” Minji lowered her head as she tried to hold back her tears.

“Minji, listen to me.” Yoohyeon gently lifted Minji’s head up so that she could make eye contact. “You are talented, okay? You’re an amazing leader, an amazing singer and dancer. Dreamcatcher wouldn’t be the same without you in it, and I’m sure that if I asked the others they’d all agree. We need you, Minji.”

Minji smiled weakly at Yoohyeon and broke the eye contact as she could feel tears running down her cheeks. “Thank you, Yoohyeon. It means a lot.”

“No need to thank me,” Yoohyeon smiled. “You shouldn’t compare yourself to others though, you know? We’re all talented in our own way and we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Everyone is different in their own way, and somehow when we’re together it just works.”

Minji nodded. “I agree with you on that.” She paused for a moment. “I guess I just compare myself to everyone else because I...” She took a deep breath. “I hate myself to be honest.”

“Why do you hate yourself? Minji, you’re an amazing person. You’re beautiful, funny and kind. You’re the sweetest and smartest person that I’ve ever met.” Yoohyeon said, she could feel herself getting emotional. She hated seeing her friend’s upset, and she certainly didn’t like hearing the way Minji was speaking about herself.

“I’m not an amazing person though, Yoohyeon. I’m just... Me. I don’t stand out from the crowd, I’m not beautiful, I’m not sweet nor am I smart. I’m just me. I’m a loser.” Minji didn’t even try to control the tears that were now streaming down her face. “Everyone would be better off without me, the company, the group, our fans.”

“I’m going to stop you right there, Minji.” Yoohyeon tried to find Minji’s eyes to create eye contact with her. “Minji to me, you’re the most amazing person on the planet. Okay? Our fans and members absolutely love and adore you, as do the staff in the company. Dreamcatcher wouldn’t be Dreamcatcher without you or any of our members. To me you’re absolutely beyond beautiful. Honestly, I can’t even find a word to describe how beautiful you are to me.” Yoohyeon took a deep breath and wiped Minji’s tears away with her thumb.

Minji nodded her head. “I understand that there are people who love me, but I don’t love myself.”

“I want to help you learn to love yourself,” Yoohyeon said with so much sincerity it made Minji cry a little harder.

“Yoohyeon, I don’t think you understand the extent of my self-hatred. I cannot stand myself. Every time I look at myself in the mirror I feel nothing but disgust and anger.” Minji bit her lip, trying to stop herself from sobbing.

“And I don’t think you understand that I want to help you look at yourself and smile. I want you to look at yourself and feel love and happiness...” Yoohyeon lowered her head and whispered. “I want to love you too.”

Minji heard what Yoohyeon had whispered but chose to ignore it. Instead she carried on by saying; “Yooheyon, you wouldn’t understand. I hate every single thing there is about myself.”

“Minji, I don’t think you understand either. I love everything that you hate about yourself.”

Once Yoohyeon said that neither of the girl’s spoke. Neither of them knew what to say. The atmosphere between them had changed, it could be cut with a knife.

“I’m sorry,” Yoohyeon apologized, wanting to get rid of the tense atmosphere that surrounded them. “I just... I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” Minji paused for a moment. “I love you too.”

Yoohyeon smiled. “I wish you could love yourself the way you love me.” She sighed.

“I think I’ve given you all of my love.” Minji chuckled, trying to turn the conversation away from the topic of her self-hatred.

“Well then I want you to take some back and give it to yourself.” Yoohyeon said sternly, as she crossed her arms almost as if that will prove her point. “Please Minji, just try to think of the positives in life. I know that it’s hard but maybe you could write down four positive things that happened to you during your day, before you go to sleep.”

Minji thought for a moment. “Alright, I’ll do that.” She smiled. “For you, Yoohyeon I will start doing that.”

“It will honestly help you remember the positive things that happen in life, and once you get a more positive mindset you might begin to like yourself more.” Yoohyeon smiled back at Minji.

“Thank you, Yoohyeon.” Minji stood up and went over to Yoohyeon, she wrapped her arms around Yoohyeon’s waist and embraced her into a hug. “I can’t thank you enough for listening to me tonight,” she murmured into Yoohyeon’s shoulder.

“There’s no need to thank me,” Yoohyeon rubbed Minji’s head. “I’ll always be here to help you no matter what.”

“I love you, Yoohyeon. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Minji squeezed the girl tighter into their hug.

“I love you too, Minji.”

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