The tiny fake tree sat on the top of their miniature fridge, barely a foot and a half tall, plastic ornaments dangling from small branches. The silly thing had been bought by Jonghyun on one late-night run to the convenience store on the corner down the street from the dorm building because ‘Our dorm is sad and small and very sad. We need it.’. Jinki was too enamored with the way the man’s eyes were almost glinting to think to say no. It’s hearing his roommate’s loud gasp that makes Jinki look up from the textbook in his lap, one about human lifespan development. 

           He wasn’t sure what he expected to be the cause, but Jonghyun half tumbling from his own bed to scoop the small tree that was lying on its side on the floor was not it. Jonghyun’s bottom lip was jutted out, hair falling into his eyes as he raised his head again. Holding the tree with one hand he fiddled with one of the ornaments with the other, looking up with a sulky voice. “One broke.” 

           Jinki blinked rapidly, unsure of how to approach and not understanding why a broken plastic ornament on a five-dollar tree they bought between the energy shots and the packs of gum by the cash register was causing such a negative emotion. “Flip it around. No one will see it.”

           Jonghyun finally looked up from the broken ornament held between two fingers and gives a little smile, but it falls just as quickly when he does as he’s told. Once the tree is back on the fridge he returns to his bed, picking up his own textbook, but his eyes linger on the tree. “But I know it’s there.”

           This is why Jinki is single, he doesn’t understand the mind of the gay man he supposes. It could also be the fact he never goes anywhere but classes, the library, and his dorm. Or the fact he’s been in love with his roommate since the second semester of their freshman year and now, as a junior has yet to let that be known, but those are just coincidences. 

----

           His backpack makes a huge thud as it lands by his dresser after he had tossed it. Toeing off his shoes and hanging up his coat on the ajar dresser door, Jinki sighs deeply. His last final was brutal and he was one step away from offering everything he had to never have to do another calculus problem in his life. 

           “What are you doing?” 

           “!” Jinki’s eyes snapped over across the room, at Jonghyun kneeling in front of his bed, all lingering feelings of drowsiness gone. “I didn’t see you.” 

           “Yeah Yeah, I’m small.” But he was grinning, such a pretty expression if Jinki was honest. Jonghyun’s hair was damp, and he wasn’t sure if it was from a shower or a trip to the gym. Either way, it was rude. “You look like you’ve had your mind ed up.”

           “Mm, Calc.”

           Jonghyun’s face scrunched as he made a gagging noise. “So glad I don’t have to touch that mess.” 

           Flopping back onto his unmade bed, he turned his head to look at Jonghyun. “What are you doing?”

           “Getting ready for Break.” It was then Jinki noticed the open suitcase on the man’s bed, perfectly made as always. “Thought I’d get a headstart on packing so I can focus on my last final on Friday.”

           “It could be that you’re just really excited to see your Mom and Sister, though.” The soft rouge on his cheeks was enough to make Jinki sigh fondly. How dare he be cute like that. 

           “Shut up,” Jonghyun grumbled, before tossing the shirt in his hands back into the tote at his feet. “Are you going to start packing?” 

           “My Mom won some sort of cruise for the holidays. She’s going with her Sister. I could be alone here without the few hour drive so.” He yawned softly, smacking his mouth after it ended, and gazed at the increasingly concerned expression on Jonghyun’s face. “What?” 

           “Your holiday plans are to stay here and be alone?” 

           “Don’t make me sound depressing.”

           “You can’t just-” Jonghyun’s phone ringing made him pause, head whipping toward where it was on the small shelf he had by his bed. A bright smile pulled on his lips and Jinki knew it was one of two people. His suspicion was confirmed when Jonghyun happily answered. “Hey, Mom.” 

----

           “You aren’t busy right now?” 

           “No, just packing,” He cast a soft look at his roommate lying on his bed across from him. “About to scold Jinki about his holiday plans.” 

           Jinki glared at him, but with how tired the man looked the intimidation of it fell short. “ Why? What are his plans?”

           “To stay here at the dorm. Apparently, his mom is going on a cruise over the holidays.” 

           Even before he can think about asking her if Jinki could come to their house for Christmas, she’s already giving him orders. “ You better bring that boy home with you.” 

           “Shouldn’t I ask him if he wants to come?” Jinki’s eyes were narrowed as he to his side and brought his pillow to his chest to hug. Jonghyun flashed an innocent smile before focusing on his mother’s reply.

           “ I suppose.” She scoffed lightly before continuing. “ I was calling to see when to expect you home.” 

           “Friday Night. When all depends on Jinki’s answer.” 

           “See you BOTH when you arrive. Love you.” 

           “Love you too, Mom.” He clicked off the phone with a gentle chuckle.

           Jinki’s bed creaked slightly as he moved further up it to the rest of his pillows, cheek squished against them when Jonghyun looked at him. “I didn’t want to guilt you into inviting me to your family’s Christmas, Jonghyun. I’ll be perfectly alright spending my time here. Maybe even finish that study proposal.” 

           “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but I just want to give you the option to come. I think it’ll be fun.” Jonghyun hopped a little to get onto his bed on the stilts and grinned. “And you could bring all you need for that proposal to work on through all the family traditions.”

           Eyebrows raised, Jinki asked, “Family traditions?” 

           “Yeah, like painting this year’s ornament and the snowman making contest. The winner gets this giant cookie Mom makes every year.”

           “Every year you do these?”

           “Yes!” Then he waved his hand slightly as he frowned, “Except that one year we didn’t have any snow so we couldn’t hold the contest. Decorated cookie snowmen instead.” 

           Jinki hummed, most of his face covered with his hugging pillow, eyes slightly closed as he allowed himself to be swallowed by the fluff of the pillows under his head. Good gracious that’s cute, hair fluffed up in a little mess and voice grumbly as sleep pulled at him. “Do you promise to not play All I Want for Christmas is You OR Last Christmas on the drive there?”

           “I can make no such promises!” 

           With a dramatic sigh, Jinki agreed. “Fine. I’ll come home with you for Christmas.” 

           Jonghyun barely was able to stop himself from exclaiming in excitement. Barely. 

------

           Jinki leaned his head back against the headrest of the passenger seat, shifting his gaze from the snow-covered fields whipping past them outside the window, to Jonghyun who was driving. For the 5th time that night driving All I want for Christmas is You was blasting through the car speakers, but Jinki couldn’t find a reason to be frustrated with it. Last Christmas had also been in the prepared playlist a few times, but there was something rather adorable watching Jonghyun dance to the music as he sang along. Any song could play if it meant he could hear the man sing along to it. There was a reason Jinki had been to every school choir performance, and it definitely wasn’t for the social aspect. 

           Jonghyun’s singing stopped, his question barely heard over the music. “What’s wrong?” 

           “Hmm?”

           His gaze was still on the road, but the song was turned down, and every so often he’d flick his eyes over to look at him. “You’re staring. Is my singing that bad?” 

           “Your singing is many things, but bad isn’t an adjective I’d use to describe it.” Jinki closed his eyes, feeling the slight jostle of the car as it moved over the road, the rumble of the engine, and the faint sound of the song. “I’m a little tired. You know I daze out sometimes.” 

           “If you say so.”

           It wasn’t like he could tell Jonghyun he was staring because of how pretty he was, or how much he loved the way his smile could light up a whole room, or how his voice made his heart do weird flips in his chest. Well, he could, but that would make the next few weeks extremely awkward.

-----

           Jinki could count the number of snow days he had experienced as a child on his hands, and he was sure none of those had amassed to anything close to what was waiting for him as Jonghyun pulled into a long driveway and cut off the engine. The long sleeve shirt and hoodie he was wearing were not going to cut it he knew as soon as Jonghyun opened his door. “Oh that.” 

           The man let out a loud bark of a laugh before wiggling from his thick winter coat and tossing it over the middle console of the car. “Wear that Mr. ‘I don’t need a coat’.” 

           “Kiss my .”

           His voice was muffled by the thick scarf he had wrapped around his face, but Jinki could tell Jonghyun was smiling as he spoke. “Your would be really cold if I did that, wouldn’t it?” 

           If asked, Jinki was going to blame the red color of his cheeks and ears on the cold bitter wind. 

-----

           Jonghyun balanced his backpack on one shoulder and his suitcase gripped in his hand as he fiddled with his keys. “Fair warning, you know how I’m a hugger?”

           A small smile quirked at Jinki’s lips as he recalled the first meeting of his roommate, holding out a hand to immediately get an armful of him. “Quite well.”

           “I get it from my mother, so,” He pushed open the door and grinned over his shoulder, ”Be prepared.”

           “What? Am I going to just be bombarded by an equally tiny woman hugging me?” 

           Jonghyun unwound his scarf, hanging it on the hook by the door with a snort. His suitcase was resting against the wall as he held his hand out for his coat Jinki had finally taken off. Suddenly a wide smile spread across his face and before Jinki could think to ask what that was for a small blur was colliding with him. “I’m so glad you could make it, Dear.” 

           Sparing a moment to glare at Jonghyun who was doing a horrible job at hiding the fact he was laughing, Jinki wrapped his arms around the woman and quietly spoke, “Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Kim.” 

           She slipped away to hug her son, who was grinning so big Jinki was startled for a moment by how bright it was. “Hey Mom.”

           Feeling like he was intruding, Jinki turned to look around the home without moving from where he was standing. To the right was the living room, the ends of the bright tree seen from what little he could see when he leaned forward. To the left was the dining room, a large table spanning the room’s length. The hall spanned out in front of him, the stairs leading to the second-floor curling at the end of it by the floor to ceiling windows. His gaze fell to his left again when a hand touched his arm. Standing there was Jonghyun, suitcase in his left hand. “Want to see your room?” 

           “Oh, uh Sure.” 

-----

           “So, this is it!” Jonghyun happily exclaimed as he opened the door for Jinki to walk in. “It’s my older brother’s, but he won’t be here so it’s all yours.” 

           “I didn’t know you had an older brother.” Jinki softly comments after tossing his duffle bag onto the bed gently. 

           “He’s more of a stepbrother.” Jonghyun leaned against the wall to the right of the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. “He’s from my Father’s previous marriage, but when he up and left my mom when I was seven, he went between here and his mom’s place. They didn’t want to make it worse for him by uprooting him. We had him for Thanksgiving so she gets him for Christmas.”

            Jonghyun’s eyebrows raise as Jinki lifts a photo from the desk along the left wall, but lowers them when the man looks over at him. “You were a cute kid.”

           “I’m cute now, what are you saying ‘as a kid’?” 

           “Can’t even take a compliment correctly, damn.” Jonghyun could swear he saw a blush across his cheeks, but Jinki turned back around to put the photo back down before he could take a second look. Interesting. 

-----

           A few days later Jonghyun’s older sister Sodam came home. She was sweet and intrigued, asking all sorts of questions as they sat by the fire drinking their choice of beverages. She seemed to like to brother and each kind jest thrown at him made Jinki laugh behind the rim of his whiskey glass. “Jonghyun tells me you’re a biology major. How’d you get paired with a music major?” 

           Jonghyun clears his throat, grumbling, “Music therapy, Sodam.” 

           “It’s still music!” 

           “There were questions on the housing application when we applied for on-campus living. Our answers on interests and how clean we were apparently matched well.” The ice cubes in his glass clinked against the sides as he lowered his hand to rest on his thigh. “Truth be told I stayed for the mini pancakes he always has in the small freezer we have.” 

           “Hey!” 

           Jinki flashed a bright smile in his direction, and whether it was that or the second beer he was currently holding, Jonghyun’s skin was flushed as he looked away from him.

-----

           Bundled up in one of Jonghyun’s older brother’s coats, a hat pulled on by the man’s mother, and gloves tossed at his face, Jinki was rather warm considering he was stepping through a foot of snow to make a snowman. The boots on his feet were a bit big, but it was that or the sneakers he brought with him. Heaving the second mound of snow onto the stack, he was smoothing out the seam between the two when Jonghyun huffed out his name to the right of him. “Jinki.” 

           Leaning a little to look past his snowman, he could see Jonghyun trying to lift the giant ball for his second tier. “Yes?” 

           “Help me.” 

           “I’m competing against you. Why should I help you?” 

           “Because you like being useful and you’re my friend.” Jonghyun smiled as Jinki approached. “Pretty please?” 

           With a dramatic huff, Jinki leaned down to lift up and carefully placed the giant ball of snow on top of the other. “If you win I get half of that cookie.” 

           “You already were.” 

-----

           The plate the last bits of the giant cookie was on was to the left of them as they sprawled out on the carpet by the fire. Jonghyun was laying on his back, eyes closed and hands on his tummy as he groaned. “I never should have eaten all of that.”

           “I’ve seen you eat three bowls of ramen in under ten minutes.” Jinki glanced over at him as he rested his head on his crossed arms. “That last pieces of cookie aren’t going to kill you.” 

           Another pitiful groan. “I’m in pain.” 

           “I was there through the alcohol apocalypse of sophomore year,” Jinki grinned as Jonghyun glared at him, laughing quietly when the man smacked his back softly. “You’re just being a big baby.”

           “You’re so mean!” Jinki smacked him upside the head with one of the pillows they had pulled from the couch. Laughter loud and full as Jonghyun sputtered in response. “How Rude!” 

-----

           Jinki held his coffee cup between both of his hands, leaning back against the window as he gazed out from his spot in the window seat in the kitchen. No one else seemed to be up yet and he was rather enjoying the quiet serenity of it all. The snow was still falling outside the window, disappearing in the snow on the deck and trees. He lowered the cup from his lips when he heard the stairs softly creaking, and a moment later Jonghyun was shuffling into the room. His light-colored hair was fluffed up all over his head, eyes barely open, and shirt large enough his hands were hidden when his arms were down. He squinted when he noticed he wasn’t alone. Grumbling as he grabbed the pot of coffee and a mug from the counter. “Don’t say it.” 

           “Good morning.” He held the man’s cup when it was handed to him as Jonghyun climbed opposite him on the cushion. His fluffy sock covered feet laying on Jinki’s as he got comfy and took his coffee back.

           “Why are you up so early?” 

           “It’s not that early.” 

           “We’re on a break! It’s sleep till noon.” 

           Jinki laughed quietly into his mug as he lifted it for a drink. “You’re up before then.” 

           “Bite me Mr. Happy in the Morning.” 

           Feeling content and a little hungover from the night before, Jinki winked. He felt too good to regret doing it.

----

           “Jinki!” Jonghyun frowned when said man didn’t respond or show up at the top of the stairs. “Jinki are you coming?” 

           “Huh?” A moment later Jinki’s head popped up over the railing at the top of the steps, pajamas on his frame and hair a complete mess. “Coming for what?” 

           “I told you it was ornament painting time.” 

           “Oh,” He had his bottom lip pulled through his teeth, which Jonghyun was choosing to ignore, before he sighed, “It’s your thing with your family. I’m alright.”

           “But you have to!” 

           “There are very few things I have to do in life, Jonghyun.” Jinki’s lips quirked up in a little smirk. Jonghyun stomped his foot and crossed his arms across his chest, glaring up at Jinki with everything he had. “Are you having a temper tantrum?” 

           “Come on!” He softly whined. A little degrading, maybe, but it made Jinki sigh and finally head down the stairs. He counted it as a win. He hooked his arm with Jinki’s and led him back into the dining room. “You’re here so you’re getting the full experience buddy.” 

-----

           Christmas dinner had been really delicious. Jinki had helped as much as he could, which Jonghyun scuffed and told him he was being a kiss . He washed the dishes while Jonghyun dried them and put them up, bumping shoulders every so often and talking quietly to themselves over the sound of the running faucet. Once the sink was clear they dried off their hands and headed into the living room where Jonghyun’s Mom and Sister were already waiting for them to do gifts. 

           There weren’t many under the tree, but enough that they covered the front half of the tree skirt. The ornaments they painted a few days before were hung up on the tree, glinting slightly in the surrounding lights. Bringing his legs up onto the cushion, Jinki hugged his legs and watched the small closely knit family begin exchanging gifts. Their mother was first, a small pile of four wrapped presents set before her on the table. Jinki knew what at least one was for he was with Jonghyun when he had bought it for her. The first was a pair of fuzzy slippers and a matching robe from Sodam. The second, a pair of earrings. The last two were from Jonghyun. The first of them was the one Jinki knew, a gift certificate to a spa in the nearby town. The last was a necklace that Jinki realized was a match to the earrings Sodam had got her.

           A little sleepy, Jinki let his attention shift to the way the fire was flickering and the wood crackling softly. He breathed in deeply, flexing his fingers on his legs, content and warm. He didn’t notice when the gifts were finished until Jonghyun was standing between him and the fireplace, a smile on his pretty face. “It’s your turn.” 

           “What?”

           The smile grew as Jonghyun held out a small wrapped box. “You didn’t think I’d let you not have something to open on Christmas, did you?” 

           Jinki let his legs fall from the cushion as he carefully took the gift from him, resting it on his thighs. The box was blue with a big silver bow on the top. He skimmed his fingers over the smooth top before gazing up at Jonghyun. “You didn’t have to get me anything, Jonghyun.”

           “I hope you like it.” 

           Wiggling off the top he gently laid it on the arm of the chair before removing the thin layer of tissue paper. On the bottom of the box was a watch he knew very well, but it was cleaner and as he lifted it up the little hands were moving, the glass surface of the face clear and uncracked. “What- how did you?” 

           The last thing Jinki knew was that the watch was still sitting in its velvet box in his dresser at the dorm. For a few years, since his father died during his 8th-grade year, he had been trying to get that watch fixed. Looking down at it, the way it was gentling ticking the way he always remembered it sounding when his father wore it every day until the accident. “I know how much your Father’s watch means to you. I had it fixed.”

           “But they said they could find the parts to.” 

           His thumb passed over the gold of the wrist links, bottom lip through his teeth as he tried not to cry. He glanced up when Jonghyun’s hand fell on his knee, finding the man kneeling by the chair. “My dad had a similar enough model that he left here. I had my mom sent it to me. They used it to fix it.” 

           “Jonghyun I.. thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

           “Merry Christmas Jinki.” 

           He doesn’t remember slipping onto the floor, but soon Jonghyun is tight against him, arms wrapped around the man’s tiny waist. Jinki has his nose pressed into his neck, hugging him deeply. “Thank you. This means the world to me.” 

           Neither man noticed the two women leaving the room or the look the two shared as they got up from their seats. Maybe the hug lasted longer than it should have, but Jinki didn’t want to let go yet. He didn’t want to feel alone.

------

           After pulling themselves from the ground with soft, almost embarrassed laughter, Jonghyun walked to the piano along the back wall. Uncovering the keys, he wiggled his fingers before grinning. “Will you sing with me?” 

           Jinki shook his head as he climbed onto the couch, arms resting on the back of it as he gazed over. “I think I’ll just listen.” 

           “Suit yourself.” 

           In the end, it was Jonghyun and his little family singing together. His mom sitting on the bench beside him, his sister to his left just behind him. Their voices mingled together as if they had done this so many times before, and Jinki figured like with everything else he had experience in this home this must be a tradition. He caught Jonghyun’s gaze halfway through the third song, and he smiled warmly in return. 

           His heart felt heavy, the weight of missing his Dad pulling at him as the watch around his wrist was cool to the couch against his skin, but looking at Jonghyun singing with such a pretty smile on his face, it made it easier to forget. Forget that the last time he had a real Christmas Dinner was in the 8th grade, or that he hadn’t felt at home since he left it to go to the hospital with his mom that Christmas night. Being here with Jonghyun’s family made him feel like Christmas could be happy again.

-----

           He had just turned off the lights and rolled over for bed when he heard a soft knock against the closed bedroom door. He squinted as the door slowly began to open and softened a little when he saw Jinki. “Are you awake?”

           “For the moment. What’s up?” 

           Very few times in their time being roommates could Jonghyun recall seeing Jinki so timid, looking small and almost afraid. He only had pajama pants on, the light coming from behind him showing that much. His lip was pulled through his teeth before he shook his head. “I’m sorry, I never should have- go back to sleep.” 

           “Jinki! Wait.” Jonghyun quickly sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes as he called his name. He yawned but quickly focused back on the man frozen in the open doorway. “What’s wrong?” 

           Looking over his shoulder, Jinki softly replied. “It’s the anniversary of the accident. I don’t want to be alone.” 

           Jonghyun felt his heart break a little. Jinki almost never talked about his Dad, in some ways less than he did with his own. He lifted the blanket and scooted to one side. “C’mere Jinki.”

           Seeing what he meant, Jinki shook his head. “I can just sleep on the floor and-” 

           “Get in the bed Jinki.” Pressing his lips together, Jinki closed the door behind him. The only light in the room was from the window and Jinki’s phone as he used it to navigate the room. Jonghyun smiled softly when the man stood by the bed for longer than he needed to. “You’re letting all my warmth leave. Come on.” 

           The phone clicked off and after the most dramatic sigh Jonghyun had ever heard, he felt the bed dip and Jinki settle alongside him. In the darkness, Jinki’s voice was deep and soft, warm comfort in the chill of the room. “Thank you.” 

           Somehow, Jonghyun managed to find his hand and gave his fingers a soft squeeze. “Goodnight Jinki.”

-----

           Jinki woke up to extra warmth at his back and weight against his side. It took him a lot longer than it should have to remember coming into Jonghyun’s room the night before and piece together that the warmth against him was the other man. He knew he should move, wiggle out from under the arm and pretend like it never happened, but he didn’t know if he’d ever get the chance to feel the comfort of Jonghyun’s embrace again. So, he was selfish, closing his eyes and leaning into the warmth. He was allowed one small luxury. He found falling asleep again was a lot easier.

-----

           “JINKI!” Jonghyun was fuming, standing in the middle of the backyard with quickly melting snow dripping down his face and making the top of his scarf wrapped around his mouth wet. 

           Jinki giggled, hiding behind the thick tree by the bare garden next to the deck. “You’re it.” 

           “Oh, you’re so dead. COME HERE, you .”

           They both knew Jinki was faster than him, but this was the backward he grew up in and he knew the layout better than anyone. As Jinki rounded the Gazebo Jonghyun lunged at him, tackling him into the pile of snow thrown from the path that morning. Jinki groaned as they landed, but his hands moved up to steady Jonghyun. The snow was falling around them, on their hair and eyelashes, on the red of their cheeks. Laying along him Jonghyun forgot why he was angry or why he had tackled him in the first place. All he could make himself do is gaze into Jinki’s eyes. 

           Jinki was laughing, eyes in pretty little crescents. His hat had fallen from his head, hair spread out in the snow. The scarf around his mouth had slipped further down, revealing his lips. Like a magnet, Jonghyun’s gaze fell on them. Pink and plump, ready to have teeth sunk into them and tugged. He barely registered that them moving meant Jinki was speaking. “Are you alright, Jonghyun?” 

           “Forgive me.” He whispered before surging down, eyes squeezed shut as he pressed their lips together. It was more teeth than anything in his rush of excitement, but when he pulled back abruptly and Jinki returned the kiss, it improved. Jonghyun pushed his fingers into Jinki’s damp hair, groaning softly as the kisses deepened and he felt the man’s arms wrapped tightly around him.

           They pulled away just barely, breathes swirling between them as they searched each other’s gazes. “What is there to forgive you for? I’ve wanted to do that for over a year.” 

           “What?” 

           “You really never noticed how I look at you?”

           Jonghyun blinked, brows furrowing slowly. “What?”

           “Oh, you beautiful, daft man.” With quiet laughter, Jinki cupped his cheek with a gloved hand. “I love you, Jonghyun. I have since Freshman year.” 

           “Again… What?” 

           Jinki responded with a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “How about we go inside and get warm, and we’ll talk, alright?” 

           “Yeah.. yeah that sounds good.”

           A moment passed, then another before Jinki was smiling, “You have to get off of me for us to do that.” 

           “OH right yes.” 

-----

           Both of their cups of hot chocolate, now more lukewarm than anything, were sitting on the coffee table in front of them. They had changed from their wet clothes, hung their coats up on the hook, and put their boots by the back door. A blanket was thrown over each of their shoulders. The only sounds in the room were the fire crackling and the Christmas music playing from one of the upstairs bedrooms. Jinki had his head pressed into the back of the couch, arms tight around him to keep himself warm as he gazed over at Jonghyun who had yet to say anything since they had climbed onto the couch. “You look like you have a lot of questions.” 

           “Hmm? Oh, not really. Just a few.” Jonghyun gave a little smile before continuing. “Like, were you ever going to tell me how you felt?” 

           “I thought about it, but I like having you as a roommate and as my friend and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by laying my affections for you at your feet.” 

           “And.. you’ve felt how you do since freshman year?” 

           “Around Spring break or so, when you broke up with your high school girlfriend.” 

           “Oh.” 

           Jinki swallowed thickly before reaching over to squeeze Jonghyun’s hand. “As much as I care for you and want to explore what dating you would be like, having you in my life as my friend is more important than how I feel romantically for you. If you don’t feel the same way or want to explore that with me, I understand. I don’t want to pressure you into thinking you have to want to kiss me again.” 

           He hummed, his gaze falling slowly. Jinki prepared himself for the final blow he expected to happen, but it never came. Instead, Jonghyun returned the pressure on his hand and smiled up at him. “And if I said I wanted to explore dating you?”

           “You would?” 

           Jonghyun snorted. “Don’t sound so surprised. You aren’t the only one that’s been hiding feelings.” 

           It was Jinki’s turn to stare with his mouth half-open, blinking like he couldn’t process what was being said to him. “Pardon me?”

           With a little shifting, Jonghyun was up onto his knees, crossing the small distance between them to cup Jinki’s cheek with a smile. Just before he kissed him, he whispered. “I love you too, you doof.” 

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