Chaewon felt like it was harder for her to become immersed in something than it was for most people. She’d always perceive things with a sort of detachment, and it always weird how at times, nothing seemed like it belonged where it was– as weird as it sounds, at times Chaewon felt like the world itself, as a whole, had been borrowed from someone.

Nothing ever seemed worth it, and it was just too hard and painful to get invested in things. Months before, Chaewon’s dad got a promotion, and she was more than pleased to be able to upgrade her gaming PC. But then, out of the dozens of games she bought, Chaewon could only recall liking one or two, at most, and even then, those weren’t really good enough to entertain her for hours in a row.

Watching movies was hard, because the idea of sitting down to deliberately expose herself to something new didn’t sound natural. Maybe a part of her was assuming beforehand that, well, it was probably going to be a disappointing experience anyway, so she was better off not wasting time at least. Staying still and staring at a screen required a fair amount of patience, concentration and, for lack of a better word, peacefulness, which Chaewon didn’t have. So movies would always become a background for her thoughts.

She was always searching. And even when she wasn’t, the underlying frequence of her brain, the darkest places of her unconsciousness, those would always be entertained by the intangibility of that which couldn’t be named.

Chaewon was searching for something that she wasn’t sure existed. And assuming that one must necessarily be able to live in the moment, so that they’re able to let go of the past and not sacrifice the present in the name of future, Chaewon wasn’t even sure if she should find it. This thing she was looking for.

Chaewon had liked Minjoo for a year, maybe a year and a half now. There was literally nothing that she didn’t like about the latter.

Simply looking at her from afar made Chaewon’s existence much happier, and she was totally okay with just that. But from the moment she told one of her friends about her crush, she was no longer able to admire the girl quietly. The teasing started and they were constantly telling Chaewon about how she should go and confess.

At first, she didn’t really pay attention to them, but as time went on she did occasionally entertain the possibility. She imagined how it would feel to hold Minjoo’s hand, to kiss her, and even to cuddle with her.

Uh.

It would be nice, right?

Yeah, of course. There was no way dating someone that pretty wouldn’t be nice.

Still, Chaewon did nothing about it.

Then one day, during class, Chaewon noticed there was something in between the pages of her notebook.

A letter with a heart sticker on it.

A love letter, then? Her eyebrows furrowed at the sight. She would’ve never expected something like that to happen to her, not even in a million years.

She opened it up, because reading a love letter directed to her was definitely more interesting than Math.

Chaewon-ssi, I want to talk to you personally, instead of writing down my feelings. This letter is my