I am
FoolStanding in front of me is the woman who makes my life worthier than before. Makes my life experience different kind of emotions. Being happy,sad,anxious, mad you name all of it. She makes me laugh like there's no tomorrow. She makes me sad whenever she also feel sad. Just like I feel all of her emotions. She makes much
different kind of person.
But right now?
What happened?
What happened to those days wherein we promise to each other to conquire the world together?
Where are you right now?
Are you in other universe or dimensions that didn't even exist in the first place?
------
*Flashback*
"Yah Mercury,Venus Earth to Kang Seulgi!" Her voice cut off my little reverie.
"Why"
" I say where are you going after the class except our home ?"
"I'm not going anywhere why?
" Can you accompany me at the new public library? I think it is nearby the cafe that we use to hangout last week. Come on,Pretty please" She pleads.
I hate it when she's this close to me. I hate it when she's cute or adorable like this. I hate it how my heart beats like crazy whenever I'm with her. Uggghhhhh. I think my heart is in marathon right now.
" Okay, okay I'm in"
I regret those words that I said because I feel those electrifying and tingling sensation in my body again and again when her hands grab my wrist. I hate how she smile because how can I handle this poor heart and soul of mine.
----
We've been there to each other since last year of junior high. I don't know how we clicked and became each others buddy. I think it's been 3 years since I met her. And also it's been 3 years since my heart beats so loudly. I don't know about hers. We mirror each others emotion but I think this certain thing or feeling called LOVE.......she can't feel those.
----
"Good afternoon,welcome to ReVelts Cafe" The girl in the counter welcome us.
After more than 5 hours of (sleeping) studying we go to this certain cafe near the university. Its our favorite hangout nowadays. The ambiance feels like home. The foods and coffees suits our taste. We wait for our other friends; Yellow Chicken aka Sooyoung and her girlfriend Wanda aka Seungwan whom I also close with And Yericifier and whomever persons she flirt these days.
"Good afternoon guys"
"Afternoon" I replied to Seungwan when they entered the cafe and joined us on our seats.
" Yeah right! There's a news that there will be some students that will transfer to our school by the end of the first semester." the chicken girl said
"They say that they are some gorgeous girls. And boys. My gayradar have a feeling about these girls tho. I'm sure seulgi will find these girl students smokingly ho-" I cut off chicken and turtle's word by putting tissues that are on the table in there freaking and disgusting mouth. My god why did I tell them I'm gay in the first place?
I noticed that the girl beside me is nowhere to be found. Maybe she's in the cr tho I thought.
We line up and order our foods.I go first and take two hot chocolate and carrot cake and headed to our seats.
"Yow hot chocolate and carrot cake for you hyunnie"
"Thanks" She muttered
"Are you okay? You look pale. Are you sick tho?" I put my hand on her forehead and feel a normal temperature.
"I'm okay just a little headache you know" she chuckled.
We ate and headed straight to our apartment. Yup we shares this home. At first hyunnie and I, then the couple of the year and Yerim. It have 3 rooms tho. We pay equally by receiving money to our parents I think.
---
"Yow hyunnie? What is your dream again?" I asked while we are on the bed waiting for our eyes to shut.
"My dream is to discover every wonderful thing and places born in this world with my special someone"
I hope that I'm her special someone tho.
But reality you know
"Erk. Special someone? What is his name again? Bullgum? Bubblegum? Ballgum?"
She hits my arm. My god I think her other dream is to be a boxer you know.
"No he is not my special someone anymore. My gosh seul it's been 2 years since we broke up. And you have the guts to say his name anymore. Right in front of me huh. That bastard cheater who wants me.My god what a disgusting creature he is." She hits me with a pillow my god how will i sleep tho.
We continue our little talk .
" How about you? Is there special someone here" She point her finger in my heart.
"I don't know. I think there's nobody. "
I'm afraid of my feelings. I'm a coward who can't cross the line between this freaking friendship. I'm afraid that if I confess all my efforts and this friendship will fade. I'm afraid that if I pour all of my feelings to her, She can't reciprocate those and worst she will be out of my touch.
"Goodnight seul"She muttered and turn back facing the wall.
I want to believe that her way of saying those words is not the way how she used to be. I want to believe that she's a little bit hurt because of my answer. But I don't want to expect. It hurts.
"Goodnight hyunnie"
-----
While on the cafeteria, with the five of us.
I observe her.
How her little arms hit my shoulder when the two spawns of satan's beams a cringe jokes.
How her eyes glint with happiness and relief
How her cheeks flushed like a red tomato when she's laughing hard or too much
How she put her hand on because she can't take it anymore. I believe that there's some drool there tho.
She's perfect. I can't trade her for everything.
Her special someone is very luck to have her.
-----
I promise. I will confess to her,on her birthday.With flowers and candles and with tears of joy in her eyes.
But how funny the fate on us
When I thought that confessing to her is a right and bright idea.
I thought
But right now,seeing her happy with someone else.
Who am I to break those happiness she spend with someone else
I remember his name -Suho- and there squad ecso? ..esco?. I think it's Exo though
And also 4 girl students..Black and yellow?.. Yellowcab?.
. Nope it's blackpink tho.They were the transferees.
He's the 'special someone' of her?
I'm lose in this fight
Fight that didn't start in the first place
They are right for each other.
They are clearly in love.
But I'm not giving up on things that I owned in the first place.
I'm not giving up on her.
----
"Hey Joohyun unnie flowers for you from suho I think" Seungwan said while giving bouquet of flowers to hyunnie.
"Oh unnie you didn't tell us that you have some suitors lingering there" Yerim point her finger to the other side of the table.
These exo's and blackpinkers wave at us
"What a bunch of ing creatures" I mumbled
"My god I think he misunderstood our relationship tho. I see him as a friend only. Aish" She fake smile to other table while I'm grinning like an idiot here.
"But why are you close to him?"
"You know he's my childhood friend. My god Seul what if he misunderstood. You know how I treat him because they are new to this school."
My plan to confess soon continues
But
After a few days
I witness a scene that shocked my life
The love of my life hugging and kissing a person she said that was a "friend"
Maybe I didn't hear the first word before those
A "boy" and a "friend"
A boyfriend
One day I don't know what happen:
You've changed so much ,Joohyun
I thought so?
----
March 28 11:00 pm
60 mins before her birthday
Bear: Hey hyunnie where are you? It's 11:00 pm.
Bunny: Oh yeah right I forgot to text you that suho and his friends invited me in there house. Early celebration you know I came here so that I will spend my whole time to you guys tomorrow. Raining outside tho. I'm coming before 12 hehe i know that you have surprise for me Lol. Love you
Bear: Okay unnie love you too.
11:30pm
Bear: Hyunnie where are you?
Bear:I'm getting anxious here. Yah Bae Joohyun where are you?
Bear: I'll go there.
"Hey guys I will just fetch unnie in suho's house. Be right back" I said to them while they were decorating the house with flowers and candles tho.
"Yeah right unnie good luck for confessing later. Fighting" I chuckled and hug yeri.
"Yeah good luck unnie but you know that If you want us to go outside if you and Joohyun unnie's hormones ar---"I cut off Sooyoung words by putting the candle in Haha that's wat u deserve.
" Hey Seulgi. take care huh"
"Yeah i will take care wannie bye love you guys"
11:50pm
Bear: YAH BAE JOOHYUN? WHERE ARE YOU I'M NEARBY THERE HOU-
I dropped my phone but not before dialing a police hotline no.
Because right now
In the middle of the damn rain
My Joohyun were dragged by 3 men. I think the one is suho and I assumed that the other 2,are his friends.
My brain cells stop to function at that moment
"Yah w-what a-are y-you doing?"
My breath hitched the moment there faces turned into me
Da heck? Red damn eyes
I presume that they take drugs and my gosh they are reek of alcohol
'Why did Joohyun become Friends with this ?" I mumbled
But not before I step forward they beat me to do it.
I stumbled on the road.
My god my face ah. I'm not a black belter in taekwando for nothing.
I think that they are easy to knock out because they are drunk.
1. Knock out
2.Knock out
3. Knock out.
I can be a gangster here HAHA
Yeah I knocked them out but of course my face and back Hurts.
"Hey hyunnie I'm here wake up" I tap her face and shake her. I think they put drugs or pill in her drink.
Slowly I carry her bridestyle.
But I can't see clearly the road because of the rain.
We are totally soaked.
But before we take at least 10 steps.
There's a thing that hit the back of my head.
Everything became black after that.
---------------
When consciousness hits me I realize what state I've been.
I found myself sitting on a chair
Then at my back is my hyunnie
Tie with wires (I thought)
My wounds stings tho.
I observe the ambiance
Slowly and surely I untie the wires that are barrier in our escape plan
"H-hyunnie y-yah. Are you okay?" I caress her face that are full of sadness , pain and fear.
"Y-yeah where are we. Y-yah what happe--" She didn't continue her words because others voice breaks it.
"What a lovely couple we have" Suho her friend? smirks while pointing us a knife.
I observe that they are only the 3 guys earlier.I stand up and punch the hell out of his face. He stumbled.
"Seul at your back" She shouted and the one who holds her punch her stomach.
Before I turn I felt an arm strangling my neck. I used my elbow and hit his stomach
It's a cycle;
Punching.
Spitting of blood in every corner.
Stumbling backwards.
Opening of wounds
Cursing of words
But at the end.
"Hey hyunnie w-wake u-up. Hey" Slowly and steadily she woke up. I tap her cheeks and peck her forehead . The pills weren't affecting her too much.
"S-seulgi y-ya~. W-what h-happened to you?! Her words were a little vague.
She touch my face that were full of bruises and blood.
Her touch sends peace through my entire system.
" It's doesn't hurt anymore. You , are you okay? Is there something wrong with you" I asked her while my eyes where in the verge of tears and inspect her body.
"I'm the one who should ask. W-why? W-what happened to us? "
She stutter
And
She cried in my arms.
I hope that she can't see the wound in my abdomen.
"Hey Seul w-why a-are y-you s-so p-pale. Yah Kang Seulgi d-dont y-you ever l-leave me. Okay?"
She's crying nonstop
She observe my body thoroughly. And she spot my major wound
She press my abdomen harder to stop the bleeding.
But I lost blood.
Lots of it earlier.
"H-hey h-hyunnie c-can y-you c-call the p-police and a-ambulance. I hurt s-suho and his f-friends badly and t-they are u-unconscious r-right now."
"Yah how come you worry a-about them. They are the reason why are you being like this. And this is entirely my fault"
"Susshhhh This is not your fault okay?!"
"Heyy Seul I love you okay. Don't you ever leave me. The ambulance are on the way please." She pleaded
But its too late
My body are betraying me.
"I - I love you too h-hyunnie sooooo muccchhhh"
I spotted some pills or rather sleeping pills on the floor. I took them secretly while hugging her.
"H-hey hyunnie"
She back away , I leaned and meet her lips.
The lips that was and still the thing I am addicted to.
Addicted to observe because it's sooo distracting.
Its a kiss full of love and longing for each other.
Once we parted away because our lungs can't take it anymore. I lean my forehead in Hers.
"Hyunnie I Love You" I Pecked her forehead
"I love you too Bear" Her eyes says it all.
"H-hyunnie can you do me a favor? Can you drink or take this pill? And I will say my biggest secret to you tonight"
She think twice
But
She take the pill.
And I observe her. The pills where attacking her systems right now.
"Now you know. What is my biggest secret tonight?"
"Uhmmmm?"
"My secret is that this is just a dream. Sleep well my love. I fool you right? " I chuckled
"A-are y-you s-sure that t-this is just a d-dream? B-because I want to wake up from this dream."
"Y-yup t-this is just a d-dream but you should s-sleep right now. "
"H-how c-come I should be asleep in my dream?" She chuckled
"Y-you need to trust what i say right?. N-now come and s-sleep my love we have a d-date tomorrow"
I hug her. We are sitting on the floor
"I love you hyunnie remember that."
" I love you too bear , and I will remember that forever"
She lose her consciousness and put her weight on top of me. My eyes were now blurry.
I know that i will not be for her anymore. But at least , right now , I hug her freely and I said to her that I love her.
But before I totally black out I hear the sirens of the ambulance and police. I smile and kiss the temple of my beloved because I maybe fool at least the girl on top of me where safe.
And then when there's white background that fills my vision. I see myself getting married to hyunnie and holding a child in my arms.
--
Standing in front of me is the woman who makes my life worthier than before. Makes my life experience different kind of emotions. Being happy,sad,anxious, mad you name all of it. She makes me laugh like there's no tomorrow. She makes me sad whenever she also feel sad. Just like I feel all of her emotions. She makes much
different kind of person.
But right now?
What happened to us?
.. There is clearly "something happened to us"
What happened to those days wherein we promise to each other to conquire the world together?
.. I broke the promise. I'm all alone right now.
Where are you right now?
.. I'm standing in front of you.
"I promise. I will confess to her,on her birthday.With flowers and candles and with tears of joy in her eyes. "
... I promise . Today is your day. With flowers and candles.
But without tears of joy in your eyes.
But
It's More
Tears of sadness and longing.
Because
Are you in other universe or dimensions that didn't even exist in the first place?
.. Yes I am.
I'm here standing in front of you and my body. Clearly its your day today but instead of joy I give you sorrows and sadness this day. I hope I literally wipe that stain of tears in the beautiful face of yours. Yeah. I'm a fool soul waiting for you in the afterlife.
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