Trying not to jostle the drowsy bundle in her arms, Seungwan fished her keys out of her bag and unlocked the door to her apartment. She entered the living room quietly and saw Sooyoung lying down on the couch, probably taking a much-needed break from her studying.
 

The girl greeted her, eyes immediately narrowing upon seeing the small lump in her arms. She began counting the cats surrounding the living room, making sure they were complete. Kiwi and Kurt were at the corner of the living room, half-asleep and giving zero s, while Blue was already on his way to Seungwan, sending her a welcoming purr.
 

“So you finally brought home an infant to complete the family,” said Sooyoung, still not getting up from her place, even though her eyes sparkled with interest.
 

Seungwan only smiled sheepishly in response, finally lifting up the blanket to reveal the animal tucked snugly into her chest.
 

Sooyoung gasped loudly at the sight, causing all three cats to be on high alert. “PUPPYYYY!” she squealed in delight, rolling off the couch and almost crashing herself into the coffee table in her haste to reach them.
 

“It’s technically not a puppy, but yeah,” Seungwan said, amused. She set the dog down gently, allowing it to sniff out the new environment amidst a very excited onlooker and three suspicious felines. “The research paper was killing me, so I de-stressed at the shelter – great idea, by the way – and the moment I mentioned I was your roommate, the girl at the counter dragged me to this little guy at the back. Now I understand why you couldn’t say no. Thrice.”
 

She didn’t know if Sooyoung heard her explanation because she seemed to be too busy cooing at the gray-spotted dog. The dog padded towards her hesitantly, and Sooyoung gasped again – in sympathy this time – as she watched him limp towards her.
 

“They said he was hit by a car two years ago, but he’s well now except for the permanent limp.”
 

Sooyoung sat down on the floor in front of him and lifted a hand for the dog to sniff. After a few seconds, it gave her fingers a few tentative , making her coo again. “Thank you for rescuing him, Wannie.”
 

Seungwan shrugged, a bit shy. “He deserves a home.” The three cats slowly encircled the dog, and they began to sniff each other suspiciously. It was a tense few moments as the two women waited for the verdict.
 

Suddenly, the dog gave a soft “Boof!” of excitement, startling the cats. Kurt immediately fled to the kitchen while the other two only tensed their spines a little before easing down.
 

“They said he was good with cats,” Seungwan supplied, evidence of it clear as day.
 

“So ing cute,” Sooyoung murmured fondly. “What’s his name?” Sooyoung reached out to pet the dog.
 

“I haven’t named him yet. Got any ideas?”
 

“Hm. Maybe…Rocky? Because there are like…tiny rocks all over his body.”
 

Seungwan snorted. “I mean…it works, yeah.”
 

“Also, didn’t you say you wanted to be a stone once? Maybe you can live vicariously through Rocky,” Sooyoung joked.
 

“Yah,” Seungwan warned before sighing in defeat. No matter how many times she explained herself, her friends would never stop teasing her for it anyway.
 

“With this little guy, Yerim and Joohyun-unnie are really never going to set foot in our apartment again.”

 

***

 

Arriving home late one night after some research work at the university, Seungwan expected to find herself alone with the three cats. Sooyoung was out on a date, so they had asked their friend Seulgi two floors down to babysit Rocky who needed a little more TLC than the others.
 

She was taking off her boots, already contemplating on whether to continue watching her drama or just pass out in her bed when she realized she wasn’t alone in the living room.
 

“Sooyoung?” Said girl was sitting on the couch, slowly petting Kiwi who was situated comfortably on her lap. Even in the darkness of the room lit only by the softly playing television, Seungwan could tell something wasn’t right. Sooyoung’s eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, a sure sign that she’d been crying. “Who-”
 

“It’s nothing.”
 

“…Okay.” Seungwan knew not to push when it wasn’t wanted. She made a vague gesture to her room. “I’ll just-”
 

“Can you stay? For a bit?” Sooyoung cleared . “If that's okay.”
 

A bit surprised at the invitation, Seungwan tried not to let it show and merely nodded. “Sure.” She set down her bag by the door and walked across the room. She sat beside her, a few inches of awkward space between them, which was immediately eliminated by Sooyoung who pulled her closer until their arms and hips bumped against each other.
 

“Did you want to watch something? You can change it,” Sooyoung told her as she continued to pet Kiwi.
 

There were the soft sounds of paws padding across the hardwood floor before Blue leapt onto the couch and nudged at Seungwan’s unmoving hand. She began petting the cat as she quietly regarded the girl beside her. “Yeah…sure.” Thinking Sooyoung would speak up on her own time, she set about looking for the show she was watching on their Netflix.
 

“He broke things off,” she blurted out suddenly, making Seungwan pause.
 

“Oh…”
 

“I mean, it wasn’t anything. We weren’t anything. Not really. But somehow, I just…you know…” Sooyoung trailed off, looking down at the cat again.
 

And Seungwan did know. Underneath Sooyoung’s seemingly impenetrable aura, she was a softie who loved being with other people, enjoying the attention they showered her. Once she finally clicked with someone, she became attached to them, and it was a bit difficult for her to let go.
 

Seungwan took Sooyoung’s unoccupied hand with her own, giving her the comfort her clumsy words couldn’t. Almost the very opposite of her best friend, Seungwan wasn’t all that affectionate with the people she was close to – at least not physically, anyway; she tried to show her love in other ways. Which is why it would be weird to hug Sooyoung now, even when she was trying to cheer her up. It wasn’t in her nature, and Sooyoung knew that.
 

But maybe she could try a different approach. Carefully lifting up Blue with one hand, she hovered him near Sooyoung’s face in offering. “Kitty hug?”
 

Sooyoung laughed at Seungwan’s attempt at cheering her up, but she graciously accepted the gift, cuddling Blue close to her chest as he let out a content purr. “Maybe I should just end up as a cat lady. Or a dog lady. Or both.”
 

“Hah! Shouldn’t I be the one in danger of being that?” Seungwan said without a second thought.
 

“No…” Sooyoung narrowed her eyes at her, something like spitfire blazing in them; it was kind of scary. “You’re amazing, unnie. You won’t be single forever.”
 

Seungwan merely laughed in disbelief, even as Sooyoung’s spine stiffened. “Anyway, this isn’t about me. We were talking about how you can most definitely move on and find someone far better than he’ll ever be.”
 

“Yeah, I know…” The fire dimmed in Sooyoung’s eyes, and she sighed while staring at the two cats dozing on her lap. “He doesn’t even like cats.”
 

“What a demon! …Don’t tell Joohyun-unnie I said that. But Yerim’s a demon all the same, though.” The laugh Sooyoung let out made warmth bloom in Seungwan’s chest; that was all she wanted anyway – for Sooyoung to smile again. “Wanna get some ice cream?” she asked, hoping for that smile to get wider.
 

Instead, Sooyoung shook her head and leaned on Seungwan’s shoulder. “Just stay with me like this for a while. And… Thanks for being here, unnie.”

 

***

 

Seungwan arrived home from her trip to the supermarket to find a whining Rocky waiting for her by the door. She glanced at the newspaper on the floor that was his makeshift potty and found it untainted. “What’s wrong, boy? Do you need to go potty?” she asked him as she set down the groceries on their kitchen counter.
 

A sad bark was all she got in response.
 

“Hm. Is your other mommy home?”
 

She was putting away the milk and perishables when Rocky let out another petulant whine that almost had her on her knees; the dog didn’t know how cute he was. Or maybe he did. How powerful.
 

“Okay, okay,” she relented, walking towards him. Once he saw that she was following him, he went straight for Sooyoung’s door, which was ajar. Seungwan picked him up in her arms and pushed the door open further, peeking inside. “What did you- Oh.”
 

Sooyoung was spread out on her stomach as she slept on her bed, the room dark. Cute. But it was the three curled up cats on her lower back that turned ‘cute’ into really ing adorable. Now Seungwan could understand why Rocky was whining about not being able to join the cuddle-fest. He probably couldn’t jump up the bed because of his limp, and the realization made Seungwan’s heart hurt.
 

“Don’t be creepy.”
 

Seungwan yelped in surprise, gaze flicking back to Sooyoung’s deceivingly serene face.
 

“I-I’m not- I just… Rocky wanted to join you guys.” She carefully set the dog down on the bed, and he immediately pounced on the trio, earning him some colorful one-eyed glares.
 

“Just Rocky?” Sooyoung asked with a teasing smile, even as her eyes remained closed.
 

“Yeah, I- what?”
 

“Come and cuddle with us.”
 

She should say no. Even with Sooyoung’s big bed, the six of them would be a crowd. And she’d already been able to experience the surreal softness that was her roommate’s bed. Sleeping in it again would only drive her into addiction, right?
 

“Unnieeee,” Sooyoung whisper-whined, opening and closing her outstretched hands like a kid begging for a hug.
 

How could Seungwan say no?
 

Before she made her way to the bed, she took her phone out of her pocket and snapped a few sickeningly cute pictures. Afterwards, she carefully lay down beside Sooyoung, trying not to jostle the snoozing pets – Rocky amongst them now.
 

She was planning to stay at the edge of the bed, but Sooyoung got a hold of the sleeve of her shirt and tugged her close. “Why are you so far?” she murmured sleepily.
 

And okay. This was definitely a mistake. Sooyoung’s scent now completely enveloped her, a mixture of something floral and musky that Seungwan had always been a little bit addicted to. It hadn’t been this strong when she had slept here months ago, maybe because Sooyoung wasn’t there and her brain was too tired to care. But it was practically assaulting her now, and her heart beat against her ears even as she felt Sooyoung’s breathing start to even out against the back of her neck, teasing her hair and making goosebumps break out of her skin.
 

It was safe to say that Seungwan didn’t get to do a lot of napping that day.

 

***

 

Midway through Seungwan’s third Christmas movie of the night, it was starting to become a little too much. The overtly emphasized Christmas puns, the sickeningly bright Christmas cheer, the shameless couples in love, declaring their love in the most ridiculous Christmas-y ways…
 

Maybe if she added more rum to her eggnog, she could get through it. Or best-case scenario, she'd pass out and never had to see another Christmas movie again.
 

She was about to get her numbing off the couch and into the kitchen when the front door clicked open, revealing a snow-dusted Sooyoung dragging in her luggage.
 

“…What?” She stared at the girl, stunned, still hovering over the couch.
 

“Shouldn’t you be saying ‘Merry Christmas?’” Sooyoung joked, brushing the snow off her coat.
 

“Right. I mean, Merry Christmas! But also, what?”
 

“I just…missed the pets,” Sooyoung explained, not meeting Seungwan’s eyes.
 

“Um. Okay.” It was understandable for Sooyoung to miss their pets and leave her family early on Christmas day, right? Right. “You want some eggnog?”
 

“Lifesaver,” Sooyoung said, relieved, “it’s ing freezing outside.”
 

“Do you want more rum in it? I was going to add some more and-”
 

“Life. Saver,” she enunciated, making Seungwan laugh.

 

***

 

“We should just bring them next year. Buy four carriers or something,” Sooyoung said an hour later, the both of them eggnog-filled and a little bit drunk for it. Another generic Christmas movie was playing in the background, the women choosing to talk about what they’d been doing since they separated two days ago, Sooyoung going home to her family while Seungwan stayed with their pets.
 

“Huh? Why?”
 

“I don’t like leaving you alone during the holidays. Especially during Christmas.”
 

Sooyoung’s grumpy tone and distressed pout had her heart melting, drawing a dopey smile out of her. “It’s fine. I mean Christmas movies can really become mind-numbing at some point, but-”
 

“It’s not right, unnie. You should have been with me, with my family. You’ve been spending Christmas with us for years.”
 

“Yeah, I know, but…” How could Seungwan say that she’d always felt like she was imposing? Sooyoung’s family was amazing, but they probably pitied her or something. Her own parents were too busy working in Canada to get any vacation time, but she was used to it, even when she had still been living with them.
 

Her thoughts drew to a sudden stop when Sooyoung clutched the sides of her face, forcing her to look into her eyes. “Stop,” she said, “I know what’s going on in that mind of yours.” Sooyoung sighed for the nth time that night. “I shouldn’t have let you stay. Mom and Dad missed you. They missed your awkward jokes and you helping them out in the kitchen, and also your yummy poutine dish.”
 

Seungwan swallowed hard, like something was lodged in . She tried to lighten the suddenly heavy conversation. “Only your mom and dad missed me?” She quirked her lips, even as she felt trapped under Sooyoung’s hands and gaze.
 

Her face was pushed away playfully, her efforts rewarded. “I came back, didn’t I?” Sooyoung muttered, suddenly shy.
 

“You said it was for the pets.” Seungwan couldn’t resist teasing her. Sooyoung rolled her eyes and attempted to move to the end of the couch in her annoyance, but Seungwan stopped her with a hand to her arm. “Seriously though, Sooyoung-ah, thank you,” she said softly, trying to convey her gratitude as best as she could. “You really didn’t have to, but…thank you for keeping me company before Christmas was over.”
 

Sooyoung’s face softened, and she hugged Seungwan close. “Of course,” she said like she wouldn’t have done anything else. “Merry Christmas, unnie.”
 

“Merry Christmas,” Seungwan murmured against her hair, basking in the warm embrace. She felt Sooyoung’s lips brush against her neck as she exhaled, and it made her shiver involuntarily despite herself. She tried to ignore it when it happened again, but on the third sweep, Seungwan pulled back, suddenly short for breath.
 

Sooyoung didn’t seem to be any better off. It was interesting to have Sooyoung fix her gaze to her so…intensely. Seungwan’s throat bobbed as she gulped, and Sooyoung’s eyes traced the movement of .
 

It was too much.
 

It was not enough.
 

They were both almost expecting it, at this point.
 

But it was still a shock to the core to have Sooyoung’s lips pressed against hers, far softer and smoother than she had ever imagined them to feel.
 

There was no hesitation in the way they kissed, uncertainties and trepidations dulled by the alcohol flowing through their veins, want and need blurring into a heedless desire for more. Seungwan was still trying to process the overload of sensations when a rum-coated tongue brushed against , seeking entrance.
 

She opened herself up without a thought, a moan escaping the back of at the wet hot glide of Sooyoung’s tongue against hers. It was almost impossible to stop. How could they stop? They had to stop.
 

She half-heartedly pushed Sooyoung away by the shoulders, breathing heavily against each other’s lips once their mouths disconnected. “Sooyoung…” she began shakily.
 

“Just for a bit,” Sooyoung said, entranced, eyes heavy-lidded and full of want, “Your lips feel so good.”
 

Seungwan inhaled sharply at her words, her body and brain unable to refuse. Her fingers dug in slightly at Sooyoung’s shoulders, making Sooyoung whine, warmth pooling below her stomach at the sound. And then she was pulling Sooyoung back in, everything about kissing Sooyoung even better the second time. And the third. And definitely the fourth.
 

Seungwan wasn’t sure when it happened, but Sooyoung was now straddling her lap, allowing her to yank her in closer by the waist so their chests were brushing against each other. It was ing heaven, the scent of Sooyoung in every kiss, in every . More, she needed more.
 

She pulled back from the kiss, making Sooyoung whimper at the loss of contact, but Seungwan immediately rectified the loss by placing open-mouthed kisses all over her neck, tracing imaginary lines down her collarbone and back up again. At the first touch of her tongue against her skin, Sooyoung let out a moan that echoed across the room, making the both of them freeze, one in embarrassment and one in awe.
 

Sooyoung looked down at her shyly, her cheeks flushed with desire. “Too much?"
 

Seungwan was quick to shake her head. “No. But. We should probably…” she cut herself off and tried again, choosing her words carefully. “…I don’t think I’ll be able to stop if we keep going,” she finally admitted, gauging Sooyoung’s reaction beneath her lashes.
 

Sooyoung let out a breathy laugh, eyes softening to something a little less dangerous to Seungwan’s sanity. “Alright,” was all she said in reply. She slowly disentangled herself from Seungwan’s arms and sat on the space beside her again. Seungwan tried not to miss her intoxicating warmth, hands tightening into fists to keep herself from taking back everything she just said and tugging Sooyoung back on her lap and continuing where they left off.
 

“I think Blue is jealous,” Sooyoung remarked, breaking Seungwan out of her treacherous thoughts. Seungwan followed her gaze to the calico staring at them with piercing – almost accusing – blue eyes from the side of the television. “Good,” Sooyoung whispered, a smirk tugging at her lips.
 

It only made Seungwan want to kiss her again.
 

. She was ed.

 

***

 

Early the next morning, Seungwan gave up on the pretense of sleep and set out to distract herself by cooking something up. With the cold of winter seeping through her bones despite the maxed-out heater in their apartment, she decided to make some hot chocolate, careful to go about preparing the simple ingredients quietly.
 

Her effort was futile as Sooyoung entered the kitchen just as she was heating up some water in a pot. The girl yawned, hair in perfect disarray as she looked at the stove curiously.
 

She tried not to gawk at her friend as memories flashed vividly from her mind and – oh, look, she wasn’t cold anymore. “Hot chocolate?” Seungwan offered, clearing .
 

After a nod of affirmative from Sooyoung, she turned back to the stove and added two more cups of water, along with a few more dark chocolate cubes. Seungwan put all her focus on the stove, like stirring the liquid required every bit of her attention.
 

“Does he seem to be…judging me?” Seungwan tried not to think about how raspy Sooyoung’s voice sounded and turned to see the girl pointing at Blue, who had been keeping Seungwan company as he sat on the kitchen counter.
 

Blue did seem to be following Sooyoung’s every move, watching her closely. It only made Seungwan blush at the possible reason why. “I-I don’t know,” she stuttered out unconvincingly, turning back to the stove and willing her cheeks to cool down.
 

Sooyoung took some orange juice from the fridge and poured herself a glass. “Are we not going to talk about it?” she asked casually, like she was merely talking about the weather.
 

“I…” Seungwan stared at the heating pot until it blurred, not thinking Sooyoung would be so direct about it, which was kind of stupid of her. Of course Sooyoung wouldn’t walk on eggshells around her; Sooyoung was the brave one. She blinked quickly to right her vision and lowered the flame before slowly turning to Sooyoung. “You want to talk about it…now?”
 

Sooyoung stared at her from the rim of her glass, the kitchen sinking into tense silence as she drank. She set the glass down before she spoke again. “Do you want to pretend it didn’t happen, then?” Her voice betrayed nothing of what she felt, and it was frustrating, but warranted, with the way Seungwan had been going about everything.
 

“Not pretend,” she began, unsure, “Just… Wasn’t it too fast?”
 

Sooyoung sighed as she sat on one of the bar stools. “Maybe? …Or maybe it was too slow, if you think about it in another angle.”
 

Seungwan gaped at her, thoughts running faster than she could chase them, like they were hard to grasp because they didn’t seem to be possible. Did Sooyoung mean…?
 

Her face was probably giving away her confusion, because Sooyoung didn’t wait for her to speak before continuing. “I know I date a lot…at least I used to, before. And most of them weren’t anything serious, but I just want you to know that…you mean a lot to me,” Sooyoung said, ears turning red but eyes b with sincerity.
 

It’s safe to say that Seungwan was rendered speechless. The moment she woke up that morning, she had wanted her bed to swallow her up. Because amidst the glaring light of sobriety, she realized that none of her thoughts or feelings last night had changed. Because she knew she wasn’t supposed to feel that way about her best friend. Because it was going to ruin everything.
 

And then Park Sooyoung sought her out and said this to her, confessed to her, armored only in mussed-up green pyjamas, her heart on her sleeve laid bare for Seungwan to do as she wished with it.
 

It was unreal.
 

It was beyond anything she could ever wish for.
 

Now what was she going to do about it?
 

Apparently, she was going to stand like a statue until Sooyoung cleared and looked away, probably misunderstanding Seungwan’s stillness for rejection. “The hot chocolate’s boiling,” she told her, trying for a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
 

The hot chocolate was boiling and it would ultimately ruin their drinks, but Seungwan didn’t care. She could simply make another batch. What she couldn’t do was waste another second allowing Sooyoung to think that she didn’t feel the same.
 

She quickly turned off the stove and turned to Sooyoung, closing in on her in two strides. The sudden proximity had Sooyoung's eyes widening in surprise. “You mean a lot to me too,” Seungwan said, almost breathless in her admission. She paused, her eyes begging Sooyoung to understand what she was trying to say.
 

Eventually, Sooyoung’s gaze softened with hope and something else, something she hadn’t quite seen in her eyes before, but something she really wished to see more often.
 

“I was afraid to say anything,” Seungwan continued, “not knowing how you felt. I was afraid that it would ruin things.”
 

“…Would it really, though?” Sooyoung countered, eyebrows raised. “Would we let it if one of us didn’t feel the same way?”
 

Seungwan let the truth of her words wash over her. “No,” she finally said, the corners of lifting. “Of course, we wouldn’t.” She shook her head in disbelief. “Sorry you had to spell that out for me.”
 

“It’s okay.” Sooyoung grinned, happiness radiating from her now that they were on the same page. “I’m really glad we didn’t have to test out my theory, though.”
 

“Yeah, me too,” Seungwan agreed, unable to look away from Sooyoung now that she knew she was allowed to.
 

The sudden urge to shower her with affection was something a little new to Seungwan, but it was something that she couldn’t wait to get used to. She carefully took Sooyoung’s hand in hers, intertwining their fingers together. Maybe she could start with this.
 

It was a stark backpedal from what they’d been doing last night, but it still made her heart stutter against her ribs all the same. They’d been holding hands for years, but it felt different now, somehow. Like she didn’t ever want to let go.

 

***

 

“Sooyoung-ah…”
 

“Hm?”
 

“Stop doing that.” Seungwan heard a soft huff beside her and turned to see Sooyoung pouting like a kicked puppy. “Sorry,” she backtracked immediately, “it’s just…very distracting.”
 

“Exactly!” Sooyoung retorted, surprising her. “It’s – they’re – very distracting!” She pointed accusingly at the guilty offenders: her lips.
 

Despite the flush rising in her cheeks, Seungwan laughed. “Should I wear a mask, then?”
 

Sooyoung actually seemed to be considering her offer, but eventually she shook her head. “No. I like the distraction.”
 

“Well, you can’t look at me like that and not expect me to…” Seungwan trailed off, hesitating.
 

“Not expect you to what?” Sooyoung prompted, leaning closer.
 

To kiss you. To want you.
 

“Maybe it’s what I want, too,” Sooyoung said softly, as if reading her mind.
 

Maybe it was time for Seungwan to stop overthinking everything. It would be a learning curve for her haywire mind, but she trusted Sooyoung. After all, Sooyoung adopted the sweetest pets in history, giving Seungwan an extended family that she didn’t know she needed.
 

So Seungwan pushed her worries aside and gave in to what they both wanted, pulling Sooyoung in for a toe-curling kiss, sweet and full of promise.