it was so obvious.

yet she was so oblivious.

so stupid, yet so perfect.

—

Love letters. 

They didn’t mean much to Jungeun, especially if she had to go through an entire pile daily.

Simply put, she’d toss them into the trash, having little to no interest in sparing a glance at even a single word whatsoever.

She was known for having such a “cold heart”, as they say. Like a typical character in the movies who go through their My Chemical Romance faze, wearing all black with lip piercings. But now, emo teens nowadays listen to Billie Eillish and have a r/im14andthatwasdeep phase. She swore she heard a freshman even say, “bro, when I open my eyes, I can.. s-see.” Though, she could’ve exaggerated their actual words. 

Despite that, yeah, she actually dresses like a normie but masks her actual feelings with a nonchalant expression that nobody can break through.

Except for one.

At even hearing her voice, Jungeun could break down repeatedly or have a twinge of agony ripple within her that has happened one too many. 

Jinsoul.

Oh, Jinsoul. 

How she desperately wishes for her loved one to acknowledge how she actually felt.

But she couldn’t.

Sooyoung blocked her every way.

Jinsoul was blinded by love.

Yet, Jungeun knew nobody—even in the entire universe—could love Jinsoul more than how much she loved her. With every speck of the day, her mind is washed with images of her. Her. Only her. If it weren’t for Sooyoung, she would’ve been holding her hand at the moment, sharing laughs and giggles as every second passed by. 

But she isnt. 

Sooyoung gets every chance to hog her. Take her away. 

They used to hang out so much together. But what happened now? Memories were stored away, tucked behind the steel metal walls of the warehouse of their brain—for Jinsoul, of course.

As if Jungeun were her little doll. Just a mere doll who she pays little to no attention to, only bringing her out once she gets bored whenever Sooyoung isn’t around.

When Jinsoul comes crashing down to her dormitory, massacre running down her face as well with tears. Her bloodshot eyes swelled and puffy from crying a tad too long.

It hurt Jungeun. So much.

She’d be blinded by her own love, for how much she loves Jinsoul, as she’d be cooking her food and wrapping her in blankets; watching episodes of her favorite Netflix series together.

Sometimes, those moments meant the absolute most to Jungeun. Yet, they meant nothing for Jinsoul.

Like if she were a toy.

Her heart has been broken down and repeatedly reincarnating into, once again, another. Except more washed down and rusty, fragile like a glass, puny cracks here and there that are so evident. One after another, it all ends up with her emotions disappearing.

One after another, with each moment with Jinsoul.

She harmed her so ruthlessly, so blindly, though Jungeun didn’t seem to care.

She wanted to spend time with Jinsoul, no matter the consequences. Her mind became limp. The only thought was Jinsoul. 

Jinsoul, Jinsoul, Jinsoul.

Oh, how much you hurt me.