I wish it was that easy. Spilling all my feels right now. I envy you posting all those heartbroken posts on social media(kind of weird though, considering you're the one who left). Wish I could do the same and get attention even just a bit. But I guess posting memes instead patches the torn hole even just little. But I guess since I'm a grown man, I'll just stay composed. 

   Im Yoona. I still remember everything.

   That burger we shared during that basketball match. How you were pouting cute as hell because I grabbed the burger you were eating, tore a small piece and gave it to you instead of the whole thing. I don't even know why I did that. We weren't even that close back then. But you were sure hella cute though. 

   I still remember those messages: "Let's end this. I've had enough"

   Twice. We broke up twice in just a month. Where we went wrong, I don't know. Why wasn't I enough, I still don't know. 

   I'm glad it ended though. There's not much for me there too. I tried changing for you. I opened up. I made room. I tolerated. I don't want to make you look like the bad guy. Maybe it's me. Maybe because I agreed to it. Maybe because I didn't stop you. Maybe because we let go when we didn't want to. 

   It sure is hella weird being human.

   Your words found its target straight through my very soul. The first time you said them, I refused. I fought back. I wanted to save both of us. Maybe you're going through I don't understand. And I would fix it together with you no matter what it takes. But to no avail. The second time? Yeah I knew by then that it's pretty much useless to stop you. So I didn't. I knew that you decided I'm out of your life. I only warned you: "There's no turning back." 

   I'm planning not to. I'll talk to other girls. I'll flirt with them. I'll even try to get laid, I suppose. But then again, I don't feel like trying. I don't know. These aren't the things I'm used to. You're the one I'm used to. 

   I remember you and Yuri walking down the stairs and she looked up at me and yelled: "Yo, Joongki! My friend here Yuna has a crush on you!" 

   That's when I noticed you. You and Yuri on those flight of stairs heading to our grade's building. Me on the 3rd floor could see clearly how those rays of sunlight your pretty little face. 

   Maybe if we weren't so busy body, trying to get Yuri, your best friend and Kwangsoo, mine to get back together again after three years between them ended, we both wouldn't be so miserable right now. 

   I guess I'll just live with it. Deal with it. 

   I'll never forget those stolen kisses I used to leave on your lips. You biting my shoulder or hands every now and then if you get the chance. How you'd play with my fingers instead of my feelings. You trying to hide your smile when you said you talked to my mom and you both were on really good terms. I really thought back then we would last. Oh, by the way, you also pinch me everytime you can get your hands on me. Damn were you sadistic. 

   I should just forget. About everything. You. Us. I'll get over this. Put a mask on my face. Be the jackass everyone knows I am. Pretend it never fazed me. Listen to my own playlist of depressing songs. Certainly not Billie Eillish. No, not Billie. 

   But I'm certainly  still your retard. Yours only.