"Jaehyung-ah, it's an important reunion!"

"Yeah, I know, I understand..."

"So, you'll be here right?"

Jae exhales,

"Mom, let me check with the company first, but-"

"You never take vacation days anyway. Your dad and I are always the ones who travel there to go see you,"

"Okay, okay..." Jae pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. There's silence for a long time.

"Come home, Jaehyung-ah." his mom says and he leans back into his couch. Her voice is sad and pleading, and the guilt starts rising. He thinks, staring up and seeing if a constellation will form in the popcorn ceiling that will tell him what to do. It's quiet for a while before he says,

"Okay. I'll let you guys know the details after I settle things with work."

The call ends shortly after and Jae tosses his phone beside him before rubbing his face in mild frustration. He groans, muttering to himself about how he probably shouldn't have done that. No backing out now, he knows his mother and now that he's given his word, that triumphs any excuse he might give.

Home... huh? Jae thinks as he looks at the California horizon outside of his window.

This is my home now. He attempts to assure himself as he gets up and starts to prepare himself dinner.

He looks around his apartment. Essentially no decoration, the bare minimum of furniture, just enough for when he happens to have someone over. In his cupboards are 4 cups, 4 plates and 4 sets of cutlery - that's all they sold at the store, everything fit for a family or at least someone with company. His living room consists of his desk- that is currently piled up with cases from work - a couch, a mediocre sized TV. His bedroom is not any more busy, just a mirror and his bed with 1 pillow and a duvet, which is why none of his fleeting partners for one night of pleasure sleep over.

Nothing in his apartment indicates a sign of anyone other than him. But that's okay, because that's all he has - all he needs. That's why he moved here.

He's usually not so aware of the blaring truth of his loneliness, but speaking to his mom usually amplifies what has become white noise to him. Ever present but only at certain moments noticeable. Usually people his age have pictures of them and their significant other, or even families, decorating the walls. Their homes in slight disarray to indicate some essence of life because Jae's is almost too clean for comfort - spare the desk. His desk whose wood tabletop is barely visible underneath all the work he takes home.

This has become routine though, go to work only to come home to do more work. He doesn't mind it, he much prefers the sound of pen on paper and the flipping of pages compared to the silence that screams at him to remind him he's alone. He reminds himself to review the contracts with that bank.

What a lonely home. Jae thinks with a sad smile, wondering why after 8 years he's still not used to it, as he starts chopping some carrots.

 

"Chief, you're taking a vacation?!"

"Ye-"

"Who?! Chief Park?!" and soon, there's commotion in the lunch room and Jae's eye threatens to twitch in irritation.

"Sammy, you're being too loud," 

"Sorry man, it's just... You? A vacation?"

"Yeah Chief, I heard within the 3 years you've worked here, you've never taken a vacation," Jamie comments and Jae scoffs,

"Where did you hear that?" trying to play it off before his coworkers reply in unison,

"Boss." and he doesn't bother to deny it.

"Well, I... I just like working, okay? Besides, I have nothing better to do,"

"Which is why I'm offering to set you up with Christina, she's awesome-"

"You're still on that, Eric?" Kevin asks, and Jae shakes his head.

"Yes. He is. His tenacity is rather admirable,"

"Aw, thanks Jae,"

"If only it translated into his work ethic." Jae completes and Eric sticks out his tongue,

"Maybe if you took more vacations you wouldn't be so crabby," he teases and there's light laughter from everyone in response.

"Maybe if you were more reliable, I'd feel more at ease to take vacations," Eric lets out a dramatic gasp, clutching his chest as he scoffs,

"Excuse me, what's the supposed to mean?"

"Of course the guy who failed to photocopy the right document for the meeting last week would need clarification-" Eric shoves Jae and they laugh,

"So, how long are you gone for, Jae?" Jamie asks and Jae sighs, genuinely exhausted.

"6 weeks."

"6 weeks?! Damn,"

"I only intended to leave for a week at most, but Sir refused to let me."

"Considering you never took vacation, he's probably making you take that long so that they don't accumulate too much with every turnover," Kevin suggests,

"Yeah, but what am I gonna do for 5 weeks?"

"5?"

"I'll only spend 1 in Korea... I can't stay there too long,"

"Ooo, mysterious," Jamie sings before taking spoonful of her burrito bowl.

"Yeah, seriously," Kevin adds,

"We've had multiple business trips to Korea - since we are a Korean company - but you never went to any of them," and Jae just shrugs,

"I never needed to go," he answers and Kevin seems satisfied with that.

"When do you leave?" Sammy asks,

"My family wants me there for the start of August so I'll work all next week then leave probably Monday. Gotta figure out the flight info and settle things with that bank first,"

"Who knows, maybe it'll be good for you,"

"Yeah, 6 weeks is enough time to get that stick out of your ,"

And with collective laughter, the group resumes talking about the usual - upcoming projects, approaching deadlines and expected trends of the market. Jae enjoys the rest of his lunch with his coworkers.

I'm satisfied with this. He thinks before giving his thoughts on the new installment of some movie that's coming out that they all plan to watch together.

 

It's a few days before his departure and he's packing when there's a knock at his door. Rather, rapid and obnoxiously loud knocks and Jae's already irritated when he hears the familiar voice saying,

"Jae! Let me in! I have drinks!"

"Sammy, go away." Jae says against the door,

"If you don't let me in, I'm yelling every embarrassing thing I know about you,"

"I'm busy, I'm packing! And if you have drinks, you're gonna ask to sleep over-" he hears Sammy clear his throat,

"When Jaehyung Park was a first year in university, he p-"

Jae swings open the door and drags Sammy inside,

"Woah, watch the drinks," he says and Jae nearly smacks the man.

"Why are you here?" he says as they go to his living room where Jae's packing, luggage on the coffee table and Sammy sits on the ground, placing the bag beside him,

"A last hurrah before you go back to Korea," he explains,

"It's only for a week,"

"I know, but still... Look, just the reality that you're going back is already making you like this,"

"Like what?"

"Jae." Sammy says and Jae stops folding his shirts. He looks at his best friend, and both of them know what Sammy means.

"It's just a week." he says and Sammy nods. Taking a can of beer from the bag, he opens it and hands it to Jae,

"To 'just a week,'" he suggests a toasts and Jae smiles as the cans come together with a dull clink and Jae thinks he needed a refreshing drink.

Sammy has been friends with Jae since their first year in university - when Jae first moved to California. They weren't in the same program but they met up regularly throughout their academic career, resulting in him becoming Jae's best friend. Jae didn't really care to make more friends, but once they coincidentally entered the same company, their current friend group formed.

They talk about Jae's plans in Korea over cold beer and snacks that Sammy also brought, along with whatever extras Jae had in his pantry. 

Jae's grabbing more clothes from his room when his phone rings and Sammy answers it,

"Auntie!" he says and greets Jae's mom comfortably. 

"Hey, don't answer peoples' phones,"

"It's your phone," Sammy says, blinking up at Jae with a cute smile and Jae fake gags.

"Oh, Woosung-ah!" they catch up a bit, Jae letting them talk as he contemplates between pairs of shorts. He's looking at himself in the mirror, comparing them, when he hears Sammy say,

"I know! Work's gonna be boring without him for 6 weeks-" and he dashes out of his room.

"Idiot!" he mouths, in a panic and Sammy just looks up at him confused and Jae can hear his mom say,

"6? 6 weeks?" and Jae slumps to the ground in despair  and Sammy awkwardly smiles as Jae's mom continues,

"He told me he was only off for 1, that's why he can't stay longer!"

"Auntie, did I say 6? I-"

"Give the phone to Jaehyung right now please, Woosung-ah," and Sammy bows his head in defeat,

"Y-Yes, here," and he extends the phone to Jae who looks up at him through his glasses, brows furrowed and eyes wide with anger. He snatches his phone back and Sammy resumes drinking, preparing for the call to end.

Sammy watches and listens as Jae's mom gives him a lecture while Jae sends him glares of fury and motions of his demise as he listens to his mom. Sammy hears things about how Jae's never been home for nearly a decade, how it's ridiculously unfair that his parents had to visit him all this time, how he's only seen his sister and niece twice since moving for university, all these arguments that Jae can't refute or rebut because he understands.

He knows how selfish he's been, that his family misses him - and he misses them too. He stays in contact with his sister and her family digitally but he knows his physical presence is important. He's heard stories of the neighbours asking about him, seen pictures of family gatherings online, felt that guilt of never being there. He knows. It's because he knows that he booked that ticket back home, even if he only intended to stay for 1 week. 

Yet the phone call concludes with him agreeing that he'll consider staying the whole 6, his mother saying that's nothing compared to the 8 years they've waited. When he hangs up - after nearly half an hour of listening - there's only silence as he stares at Sammy who's avoiding eye contact.

"Woosung-ah." Jae says, and Sammy nearly shudders at his Korean name,

"Jae, I didn't know you didn't tell your mom, I swear I wouldn't have told her." he explains, finally looking at Jae whose expression he can't decipher. 

"No, it's okay..." Jae lets out a sigh, exaggerated and elongated.

"I'm sorry, it was an honest mistake,"

"Yeah, I know, don't worry about it." 

They're quiet for a few moments before Sammy offers another can of beer to Jae to which he accepts,

"Hey, I mean you just said you'd consider, right? You can just stick to your original plan,"

"Yeah, but I'm thinking I might as well," the can opens with a crack and a hiss and Jae takes a swig,

"Stay? The whole time?"

"Yeah," Jae leans his head back on the couch, eyes up at the ceiling,

"I mean, it's been 8 years... Realistically, I should be over it all, you know?"

"But are you?"

"I'd like to think so. Being so removed from the situation, from the memories - from him... We've spent 8 years with the world between us," Sammy nods,

"Hell, he may not even remember me."

"Do you think you'd prefer that?"

"Hmm," Jae thinks, takes a few sips of beer in between thoughts, 

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"I mean, considering what I did to him... I really don't think I have any right to be like 'I hope I stay a good memory'..." his eyes travel down and settle at his beer can but Sammy can tell he's looking at something far more distant.

"If I wanted that, I shouldn't have ran away 8 years ago," he says with a sad smile and finishes his beer. 

Sammy looks at his best friend, wondering if he'll truly be okay to go back home. He knows 8 years is a long time, but he also knows that it went by so quickly. He can recall the day he met Jae, the meeting so vivid that he finds it hard to believe it happened nearly a decade ago.

"Do you think you'll run into him when you go back?"

"I don't know. My mom eventually stopped giving me updates on him once she realized we completely cut off contact. I was partially thankful for that, but part of me wished she kept doing it," he smiles a bit,

"You probably think I'm hella lame, huh?" and Sammy shakes his head,

"For what, having feelings?"

"For harboring them for 8 years with nothing to support them."

"Nah," Sammy answers,

"I mean, sometimes I wish you'd get over it, properly. Just so that you could not be dragged down by it, you know? It's not that I find you lame, I just wish for your complete happiness, 'cause you're my best friend, man," and Jae nods,

"I think the lack of proper closure hinders you so, who knows, maybe this trip will be a chance to get over it - get over him. Finally." Jae reflects on those words,

"A chance, huh?" and Sammy nods,

"Yeah... Maybe." Sammy plops down beside him on the couch,

"But it's not like you're going there for him, remember that. You're going for family, and for some quality alone time. You've been working nonstop, so please please please try to enjoy your vacation." 

Jae looks at his best friend and his heart swells with gratitude. These past 8 years wouldn't have been as liberating, insightful, and simply fun without him. Part of him wishes he could take Sammy with him - just in case he needs to be grounded.

"Yeah, I will. I'm already taking the time, so might as well enjoy it,"

"Exactly!" Sammy exclaims, bringing his can to Jae's empty one,

"And if anything happens, I'm just a call away,"

"Our time difference will be 16 hours..." and Sammy just stares at him,

"I'm just a text message away," and Jae laughs,

"You don't even wake up when your alarm rings, as if you'll answer a text,"

"Hah! Jokes on you, I changed my alarm sound and I've been waking up just fine, thank you,"

"Good, 'cause your lates were getting ridiculous,"

"Relax Section Chief, I'll be just as punctual while you're on your trip!" and the two laugh and Sammy offers to help Jae wrap up packing, and Jae declines, saying if both of them start going through his clothes, they'll never finish packing. Sammy would have too many opinions on what he'd choose to bring, Jae just knows he will. So, Sammy just keeps him company, only occasionally complaining about the choice of shirt that goes inside the luggage. 

 

Jae's brain and heart have yet to catch up to his body that is currently getting out of Sammy's passenger seat.

"Do you need help bringing them in?"

"Nah, it's okay, I checked them in online beforehand so it should be pretty smooth."

"For someone who never travels, you're rather smart," and Jae laughs,

"It's because I never travel that I'm trying to be smart," and Sammy snaps at him while nodding.

"So, you all set?"

"Yes, Mom," Jae says with a roll of his eyes and a loving smile, and Sammy laughs. He pulls him in for a brief hug and as he's patting his back, Sammy tells him,

"Feelings don't have an expiry date, Jae." and Jae feels himself relax in the embrace and he doesn't say anything. 

As he's entering the airport, Jae looks back at Sammy and waves,

"Thank you, Sammy!" he says with a genuine smile and Sammy waves back,

"Stay safe. Enjoy your trip to the fullest, love you!"

"Ew!" Jae exclaims and laughs, 

"Love you too, brother," he says and walks backward, watching Sammy wave enthusiastically until someone honks at him to watch he quickly turns and says something that Jae can't decipher.

He's grateful he leaves California with a smile - that is, until he gets on the plane and he has to spend over half a day alone with his own thoughts.

Sammy may not think he's lame, but he himself definitely does.

He looks outside the window, and closes his eyes as some show plays on the small screen.

 

The long flight ends with a safe landing and Jae takes his time grabbing his carry-on overhead. He didn't eat much on the plane but a dull sense of dread seemed to suppress his hunger, but he knows he'll probably have to eat once in the presence of his family. He's genuinely excited to see them, finally spend some decent time with them in the family home, getting to eat the cooking he grew up on, being able to see how the surrounding area has changed - or maybe not at all. 

It's a feeling of bubbling excitement and curiosity that distracts him from the reason he ran away in the first place.

Upon exiting the plane and entering Arrivals in the airport, he shoots Sammy a quick text just to let him know he's arrived. He then messages his family to let them know that he'll be home soon.

He remains optimistic and happy to see and hold his family soon. None of his family members could pick him up from the airport, but that was fine, using the subway is enough as his luggage is going to be delivered to the house - a perk he was willing to pay for - so he just has a barely stuffed shoulder laptop bag to travel home with. 

The airport is bustling with people, barely familiar as he assumes it had undergone renovations. It's clean and bright and he looks up at the sky that looks exactly the same yet feels so different. He planned out the route to the train station before hand, so he begins the trip home with what was supposed to be a quick ride to Seoul Station. Traffic delays his plans just slightly, as he doesn't manage to catch the train he initially wanted. 

Amidst navigating through such a large station, making his way through bustling people, buying a transit card, and trying to find his platform, he finally finds it. The train heading to his hometown will be picking him up at platform 6. He's cutting it rather close on time, so he decides to pick up the pace, but upon doing so, drops his transit card. 

He bends down to pick it up but a hand grabs it before he can and extends it back to him,

"Here you go,"

"Oh, thank you,

"You're welcome!" and Jae says with a slight bow of his head and a smile, and goes to grab it before he halts.

Brian.

He looks different. Hair longer and a different colour, his ear sports more piercings, his shoulders are broader, features sharper and a bunch of other tiny details that Jae shouldn't even notice but can't help. But the way he looks at him, with kind, unknowing eyes, and the formal speech make Jae wonder if he's changed too, beyond recognition.

The man nudges the card closer to Jae, and that wakes him up from wondering if he should reintroduce himself, it has been 8 years after all, or if he should just let it be. Has it really been that long that he doesn't recognize him? Or maybe it's not him, doppelgangers aren't all myth. Jae's eyes quickly trail down to his neck and his mole is in the same space and he thinks Sammy would definitely agree that he's lame now. 

"Thanks again," Jae manages to say, and is getting up when he hears a,

"Kang Bra," and they both get up,

"Oh, hyung! Let's go, we gotta catch the train," and Jae watches as Brian lightly jogs to a man Jae doesn't recognize, just like that unique nickname. They must be pretty close, Jae deducts.

They make their way to the same platform, Jae trailing behind them and pretending to mind his own business but he can't. If only there was no traffic, if only he caught the originally planned train, if only he didn't run into Brian at the station and now they're in the same subway car till they get back home. Jae can only assume that's where he and that man are going - and they're carrying bags, so he assumes they're staying a while.

It shouldn't matter to him.

They sit slightly diagonal to each other, and Jae tries to focus on random apps on his phone - even opening Notes at one point, thinking making a checklist for work he could get down while in Korea would be effective.

Jae sometimes glances at Brian and the man beside him. They look close and the nickname echoes in his head because he used to call him by a nickname, and that familiarity that transformed to something unknown hurts just a bit.

He overhears some of the conversation - on purpose, of course, straining his ears to hone in on Brian's voice that's become a tad bit deeper than what he remembers, and the other's voice is nice, he thinks.

"Did you text your mom we're on our way?"

"Yeah, texted her the ETA."

"Okay, good, I don't want them to wait,"

"Hyung, you say that every year we come home,"

Ah. Every year, huh?

Jae makes a decision to put in some headphones because that little conversation seems like the most he can process right now. It's weird because Brian and him never really dated, so what is it to him if him and that man "go home" every year? So what if that stranger by his side is familiar with Brian's mom, what's it to him if the last thing he sees before he closes his eyes to distract himself with music is Brian resting his head on the man's shoulders?

It shouldn't matter to him.

Jae's thoughts are louder than the music, so he doesn't hear the conversation of,

"Is that him?" 

Brian sighs and closes his eyes,

"Yeah."

"What a coincidence."

"Really."

"I'm only lending you my shoulder because it's him."

"Thanks, hyung." Brian says with a smile that Jae catches a glimpse of and it's so endearing that he feels compelled to move subway cars.

Ah, this is the hilariously horrible.

 

Brian thinks his eyes deceive him when he spots a tall man in the calm chaos that is Seoul Station. He laughs at the fact that his eyes automatically find him, without him even looking because he gave up looking years ago.

"Kang Bra, where's our platform?" and Brian looks at his best friend,

"Sungjin..."

"What? Are you okay, you look like you're gonna be sick," Sungjin says, eyes concerned and Brian shakes his head,

"No, no I'm good..."

"You sure? You better not puke on me on the subway, I will kill you." and Brian laughs,

"Nah, I won't. I just... saw something surprising, that's all." and Sungjin can tell Brian's genuinely shocked, his eyes darting like his mind's running faster than he's used to.

And it is. 

Is that really Jae? If he's here, does that mean he's going back home? Mom says Auntie still lives in the same house - that's right beside ours... He looks good. Was he always that tall? His glasses seem new-

"Brian." 

"Yeah! It's- it's platform 6-"

"Seriously, are you okay?" and Brian stares at him before he says.

"He's here."

"Jesus, that sounds terrifying - who?"

"Him, hyung..." and Sungjin furrows his brows in confusion and makes a "what?!" gesture with his arms and Brian almost laughs before he sees it click in Sungjin's head.

"Oh, no way..." and Brian nods and Sungjin just stares.

"Right now? Are you sure?"

"I mean, I think so, I don't know," Brian says with a chuckle,

"It's been a while, but I think so - he's got a baby face," he comments and Sungjin just looks.

"Well, now what?"

"What do you mean? Now, nothing. We just go back,"

"You don't wanna go greet him or something?"

"Hell no." and Sungjin eyes his best friend.

"Okay, I'll grab you a snack from the vending machines, I'll meet you at the platform," 

"You're the best, hyung!"

"Yeah yeah," Sungjin says and Brian exhales, eyes following the assumed Jae who picks up his pace ahead of him. 

He drops something and Brian figures if he pretends like he doesn't know it's him - there's no harm...

"Here you go."

 

 

 

Jae exits underground and wants to lose himself in the crowd, hopes Brian doesn't live in the same house which is right beside his, tries to remain a safe distance even as they walk the same direction.

He considers taking a taxi, but curiosity wins as he walks the path he used to walk every day. He passes by a park he used to frequent with Brian, a convenience store that him and Brian would regularly get after school snacks from, the river with an overpass that he used to meet Brian on. 

And even though it seems almost everything is linked to him, the nostalgia swells in Jae and he catches himself smiling at happy, simple, distant memories. The neighbourhood is still so comforting and warm and feels like home. The almost unfamiliar sights distracts him from the duo that's probably trailing behind him.

But then he passes the forest. 

Trees standing tall and healthy and Jae can't help but pause in his stride.

Brian sees Jae stop and his eyes follow his line of sight and he feels a twinge in his heart as he looks at what used to be their secret place. A hideaway just for them that none of the neighbourhood kids even bothered to find and that's what made it so perfect. Back then.

Jae thinks as a wave of memories he thought he had forgotten crashes over him and he cracks a sad smile before heading back home. 

It wasn't their place anymore - and it wasn't his place to worry about if Brian still remembers.

They reach home at the same time, Jae pretending not to hear the,

"Mom, we're home!"

"Oh Younghyun-ah! Sungjin-ah!" and the door closes. 

Before he can start sulking, he's greeted with so much happiness, love and excited chaos, his niece tripping as she speeds toward him to be the first to hug him. He hugs each of his family members, long and tight as an initial apology for it taking this long.

It's a long time of catching up, good food and Jae forgot what a loud and lively household felt like, but he now remembers it feels like love, like home. It's so much talking and noise that he forgets, for a while, the incident from earlier, and by the time things settle down, it's nearly dark outside. He gets changed into some comfortable clothes he had in his carry-on before he goes to help with dishes and cleaning. Him and his mom are at the sink, tag teaming the dishes and they talk about stuff like how Jae missed her cooking and how she's really happy he's here.

"Ah, that reminds me, Jaehyung-ah, remember Younghyun-ie?" and Jae nods,

"He still lives beside us! Right next door, he visits in the summer so maybe you guys can catch up,"

"Mom, it's been a really long time, I don't think we need to see each other,"

"Yeah, but you don't really have friends back here, so just in case you're ever bored while we're at work, you can reach out."

"Thanks, Mom..." is all he says and his mom eyes him. She recalls how close they used to be, inseparable really. She hugs him and says,

"Welcome home, my son." and squeezes him and Jae hugs her back and says,

"Missed you."

He knows his mom means well by mentioning Brian, and now it's completely confirmed that it's the Brian he knew.

Maybe if they didn't part like that, he could see him and catch up, but Brian has a guest - one familiar with the Brian he doesn't know. Even if he did reach out, it didn't seem like Brian remembered him, so that would just be embarrassing and he could just go this whole trip without seeing him. That should be fine. Whether or not that Sungjin guy is Brian's boyfriend, whether or not Brian remembers him, whether or not Brian looked into the woods on the way home like he did.

It shouldn't matter to Jae.

 

 

---

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hi guys, so this is the first chapter! It's rather long as it's just laying groundwork and trying to set things up for the storyline in store for JaeBri. That being said, I hope you guys follow till the end because I haven't gotten such motivation to write in so long, this feeling feels foreign. I don't have much to say on this particular chapter, just hope that you enjoyed nonetheless. The next chapter should be up (hopefully) soon because this chapter was a lot of words but not much substance, yaknow what I mean? LOL

Anyways! I'm available on the common socials as @zenlikestosing

Until the next update, peace! - Zen.