It was a quiet morning; birds were chirping outside in the swamp, and it was a truly splendid morning. Shrek wakes up, a yawn spilling from his gorgeous green lips, sitting up on his bed to stretch his muscular and y biceps. He looks to his side after smacking his lips, and his eyes land on his beautiful wife, Nicki.

 

There she was; the ethereal beauty was sleeping peacefully beside him, her body sprawled out on the other side of the bed. She was clad in the lovely robe Shrek had made for her on their 5th anniversary made of the finest foot fungus plucked straight off of the bottom of his feet. She looked absolutely stunning, Shrek thought. 

 

Her eyes flutter awake, her lips immediately forming a smile at the view of her hubby in front of her, his breath smelling of onions and booty.

 

“Goodmorning, baby boo,” the green God greets the love of his life, leaning down to press a soft kiss on her lips.

 

“Oh, Shrekkie,” she sighs blissfully, “ I wish that I could have this moment 4 life.”

 

Just then, they hear some slight commotion coming from the kitchen, along with the smell of fresh parasite soup, making their stomach growl in hunger. With that, they make their way over to the sounds and see their beloved daughter Nako stirring the delicacy in a large pot. They lean their heads on each other’s, their hearts swelling with pride.

 

“Good morning -, I mean, Mama and Papa!” Nako greets her parents, grabbing some bowls and serving everyone food. She places them on their dining table before her two beloved parents bring her in for a tight hug.

 

Shrek takes a sip of the dish, swirling it around in his mouth like mouthwash before washing it down his throat with a big loud GULP! His eyes widen, a pleased smile on his mouth.

 

“My goodness, sweaty, this is sublime!” 

 

Nicki does the same, getting a similar reaction after tasting the absolutely delicious and mouth-watering stew. 

 

“Holy moly, Nako dear, you truly have a gift from the Jahs! Hiisus has blessed you with Gordon Ramsey’s talent!”

 

This causes their dwarf daughter to blush, embarrassed from all the praise and compliments. Her mother, Nicki Minaj, gets up suddenly.

 

“This deserves a musical performance!” She fishes a microphone from in between her gigantic tiddies and begins.

“Take your medication, Roman

Take a short vacation, Roman

You'll be okayYou need to know your station, Roman

Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

Take a little break, little breakFrom your silencing

There is so much you can take, you can take

I know how bad you need a Roman holiday (Roman holiday)

A Roman holidayYou done, you tired?

You at life?

You don't want a round three? You done suffered twice

Worship the queen and you might could pass

Keep it real, these es couldn't wipe my

Anyway, stylist, go get Bvlgari

I am the ultimate Svengali

These es can't even spell thatYou, you hoes buggin' - repel that

Let me tell you this, sister

I am, I am colder than a blister

Cause my flow's so sick and I'm a lunaticAnd this can't be cured with no Elixir

Cause y'all know who the , what the I do

I done put the pressure to every thug I knew

Quack quack to a duck and a chicken tooPut the hyena in a freakin' zoo

Take your medication, Roman

Take a short vacation, Roman

You'll be okay

You need to know your station, Roman

Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

Take a little break, little breakFrom your silencing

There is so much you can take, you can take

I know how bad you need a Roman holiday (Roman holiday)A Roman holiday

Witch, twitch, !

Mothering right, this is World War 6

This right here is gonna make a dieAnd this right here is gonna make a cry

And if we being honest I am such a great guy

And this what I do when a breaks fly

I'mma put her in a dungeon under, under No them es ain't eating, they dying of hunger

Mothera I'm me, who the is this ho?

And yes, maybe just a touch of tourettesGet my wigs, Terrence, go and get my barrettes

Take your medication, Roman

Take a short vacation, Roman

You'll be okay You need to know your station, Roman

Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

Take a little break, little break From your silencing

There is so much you can take, you can take

I know how bad you need a Roman holiday (Roman holiday)A Roman holiday

Come all ye faithful

Joyful and triumphant

I am Roman ZolanskiCome all ye faithful

Joyful and triumphant

I am Roman ZolanskiCome all ye faithful

Joyful and triumphant

I am Roman Zolanski

Talking bout me, you talking about me?

I dare a motherer to be talking about me

That must be smokin' a couple of OZs

They want the outline, I give them a goatee

Talking bout me, you talking about me?

I dare a motherer to be talking about me

That must be smokin' a couple of OZs

A-buh-buh-buh now give then a goatee

Take your medication, Roman

Take a short vacation, Roman

You'll be okay

You need to know your station, Roman

Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

Take a little break, little break

From your silencing

There is so much you can take, you can take

I know how bad you need a Roman holiday (Roman holiday)

A Roman holiday.”

 

And they lived happily ever after.

 

The End.