fin

I want to love you

"And why am I here again?" Jaebeom exhaled loudly whining as he looked at Jackson annoyingly.

"Because it's a party thrown by your best friend." Jackson laid out facts in front of him.

"Since when are you my best friend?"

"Since the day we met, you sighed a contract with me you know."
Jaebeom looked at Jackson in disappointment and shook his head, making his way towards the bar away from Jackson.

Jackson did yell something in the background but Jaebeom paid no attention to that, he was already at the party might as well just drown himself in alcohol since that the only thing he could do.

He found Jinyoung beside the drinking bar and his friend looked so out of the picture, looking so stiff with no expression on his face, Jaebeom laughed at him.

"What are you even doing here? You don't like you want to be here."

"Well sadly it's my home, and Jackson has locked my room and threw the keys away." Jinyoung sulked. Jaebeom laughed, his mood always lifted around Jinyoung for some reason.

"Oh well I guess we both are same, not wanting to be here but got dragged."

"Maybe we secretly love Jackson."

"Hmm maybe... But I love you more." Jaebeom winked at Jinyoung and Jinyoung went red.
They had been friends for more than ten years already, always been together. They originally wanted to have a same dorm when they entered college but they had different major so they couldn't have same dorm because of some weird policy. But it was okay since they got to meet Jackson, Jinyoung's roommate and Mark Jaebeom's roommate. And it was fantastic.
Despite the personality difference they all fit well and it was a good company until they both were dragged into parties that mark and Jackson throw, which always end up with disaster mostly Jinyoung taking care of Jackson's hungover and Jaebeom had to clean all the mess mark made.


Since it's been ten year Jaebeom and Jinyoung joked a lot. It did confuses Mark and Jackson sometimes. But Jinyoung and Jaebeom lived in their own world created by them. so the fact that jaebeom flirted so openly with Jinyoung wasn't that much of a surprise. And he liked Jinyoung more than Jackson anyway. Jaebeom flirty remarks sometimes made jinyoung angry, or he would just ignore than or rarely he gets shy as welll, like today. Maybe it was alcohol effecting him already.

They just stayed their, standing in comfortable space, the loudness of the party landing on deaf ears. Or at least they tried to ignore it. Soon mark followed their steps and came to them.

"Guys we are playing games come on." He said excitedly.

"No... Last time I played the game I had to burn our carpet because you over drank and throw up on that for two hours straight." Jaebeom said flatly.

"I don't want to join either." Jinyoung softly declined.

"Man what a party popper you both are, no reason why you both are friends. But the truth is I'm not asking I'm actually informing and dragging you there."

"You are alone and we are two people." Jaebeom snort but soon he saw Jackson and then he groaned as he and Jinyoung were dragged by Mark and Jackson to the center of living room, to join a circle of people filled with weird human beings Jaebeom had ever seen.

There was a bottle in the middle. Jaebeom rolled his eyes.

"Spinning bottle? What are we? Ten?"

"Spin this, if land on you get the paper form the bowl whatever written is your mission." Jackson said, completely ignoring Jaebeom's statement. Jaebeom made face but sat down anyway. He tried sitting next to Jinyoung but somehow mark seated himself in between them. What a bummer. The game begin.
It wasn't all that bad, only because Jaebeom wasn't selected and watching other people suffering was really fun to be honest. One first year kid had to do some chicken dance, it was okay and then a girl had to take two shots straight which wasn't that good. And a boy had to give to Jackson and it was traumatic for Jaebeom. Okay maybe the game was terrible and Jaebeom was afraid to be selected. He can expect anything from Jackson and he don't want to be the victim of that. But he ran out of luck and soon the bottle landed in him and Jackson let out a loud scream of happiness.

"ing finally... Pick pick.. Hurry hurry." he almost screamed and Jaebeom had to pick the paper out of the bowl. Feeling very wronged and sorry for himself. A bit scared of his upcoming future.

He pulled out the chit and without his consent Jackson took it away from him reading it out loud.

"Blind fold and get kissed by random person." he read as he smiled smugly.

"What? No... No way I'm doing this." Jaebeom's eyes widened as he refused the mission he was given.

"Too bad it's a rule and you can't say no."

"I never wanted to join this stupid game in the first place. Yah Jinyoung help me."
Jinyoung was a bit taken aback but then he regained his senses and rolled his eyes.

"Just get over with it."

"I didn't asked for this betrayal." Jaebeom said, Mark was already putting a clothe over his eyes and he still didn't know why he still hadn't walked away. There were at least ten people whom he didn't know and he was pretty sure he didn't want a single one of them to kiss him.
But his life was just another antonym of betrayal and unexpected so here he was being blind folded and everything went black.
There was no voices either, only hushed whispers. Maybe they were trying to select the person who had to kiss him. Jaebeom prayed that the girl with the super dark lipstick won't get selected because he saw her eating some pickles earlier and he seriously don't want that in his mouth if he is kissing someone. Beside red lipstick stains and he hates it.

"Are you ready." Jackson asked, maybe they did select the person.

"Just get over with it." he sighed, his heart was beating fast. He felt Jackson's hands holding him from back and loud voice of Jackson echoed in his ear.

"Go for it."

And then he felt a pair of lips pressed against his slowly. It felt like the other person was hesitant at first but then he heard Jackson clicking his tongue and then the plush lips pressed even more. Jaebeom like the feeling of those heavy plump lips so he opened his mouth a bit to take the lower lips between his teeth and nibble in that, it was out of his character but he couldn't control it. His partner let out a surprised squeal and a breathy moan followed it. Jaebeom could hear cheers and all but he paid no attention to that as he had the most sinful lips against his own.
Him nibbling the lips made the owner taken aback that's why the lips stopped moving. But then Jaebeom pushed himself more pressing more trying to get his tongue on them but he was pulled away by Jackson.

"That's enough." Jackson said and Jaebeom wanted to dig a hole in the ground. How the did he lost his control over a stupid anonymous kiss?
Soon his blind fold was taken off and he looked around trying to spot anyone with those lips but found no one. Everyone had left.

"What the ." he looked at Jackson who was the only person there.

"Well it was for the sake of the kisser, we need to save his identity."

"So it was a he?"

"Oops.." Jackson giggled as he ran away, the party was still young people went on the dance floor and to the bar and he was left alone in the room with a sinful taste on his lips.

 

 

......

Jaebeom was at the alcohol counter again, but not for the drink. He was sitting in the stole eating chips, drowning in his own misery.

"What is wrong with you? Just go to home if you don't want to be here." Jinyoung was concerned for him.

"No... I have to be here."

Jinyoung raised his brow at him.

"You drunk or what? Why you need to be here."

"I want to find that person... The one who kissed me.."

Jinyoung suddenly went red again but Jaebeom didn't noticed, he was too much deep into his own thoughts. After thinking for bit of time he stood up eyes two twinkling with excitement.


"Oh my God.. Why didn't I think of this." Jinyoung looked at him.

"Hyung.. I'm getting a bit worried... Are you sure you are not drunk? You are acting weird."

"Jinyoung ah... You were there, weren't you? Why don't you just tell me who it was."

Jaebeom ignored Jinyoung's questions and asked him. Jinyoung ears went red, as it wasn't already red before and he looked a bit flustered before he regain his composer. He took a sip from his drinks and said.

"No... I can't this was suppose to be a secret kiss I can't disclose their identity like this."

"Nooo... You can't do this... Oh my God Jinyoung you need to tell me."

"Why the hell are you so eager to meet them anyway."
Jinyoung looked irritated.

"Because you don't know how their lips felt, they were so soft and plush and so sweet to taste... God damn it wanna taste them again... And the moan they emit holy I could listen to it all day."


Jinyoung was blushing more than ever, this time Jaebeom noticed it, maybe it was the effect of alcohol.

"Why the are you telling me such details?"

"Because I want to tell you how desperate I am to kiss them again."

" Ah... I still won't help you. "

"Then I'll just go and kiss every single person in this house and see if I could find them or not."

"What? " Jinyoung looked perplexed. And when Jaebeom actually started moving away trying to find someone to start off his mission, Jinyoung grabbed his hand and said.

"Okay... Okay... I will tell you. "

"You will? "

" I have condition. "

"Really? What are those? "

"You can kiss again, but blind folded."

"what? No I want to meet them."

"I have to keep their identity safe and also it's not always that they want to meet you, they can be really nervous you know."

Jaebeom thought for a bit before smiling. At least he can kiss again and also there won't be anyone stopping him. Maybe Jinyoung would since he will bring that person but he can always win over Jinyoung anyway.

"Okay. " he nod in positive. Jinyoung smiled, looking a bit nervous and Jaebeom didn't know why. He was blind folded again and he heard Jinyoung saying.

"Hyung... Wait here." and he did.

It was barely a minute when he heard foot steps, his dream was becoming true, finally he was going to kiss those lips again. The lips he had been dreading to touch. And then there it was, those plush lips pressing against his own for the second time in this night. This time a bit more bolder than before. Guess he hated crowds.
Jaebeom moved his hands to touch the person but the other male (he was a male Jackson told him) was faster than him and held his hands tightly, these blindfolds.
He couldn't believe that the hold was much tighter than he imagined. But it felt familiar, thrmth of those hands around his wrists were familiar.


He turned back his focus on their attached lips, as he those thick lips drawing out a moan and they were open for him to his tongue in to the welcoming heat and once he did it he knew he was in bliss. This person was so good and knew his way with such stuff and it was driving Jaebeom crazy. His craving for more was increasing. He wanted to touch. He tried to get his hand away from the grip but he couldn't. But Jaebeom knew he can always over come that, so with all his straight he pulled the other male towards him. the man stumbled on his own feet and landed on Jaebeom cursing out loud. And that's when it hit him.

"Jinyoung?"

No sound, as he felt the grip on his hands leaving and soon the body heat of other male over him was gone. He was leaving, Jaebeom hurriedly pulled over the damn cloth from his eyes and saw Jinyoung running toward the door. But Jaebeom was faster, and also he actually didn't care who came into his way he just shoved them away, all in his mind was to catch Jinyoung.

He caught up to the boy and held his hand to stop him from running. How things turned out to be like this? 

"It was you all along." He said. Jinyoung looked away.


"Let go hyung... I don't wanna talk about it."

Jaebeom didn't let go but he felt sadness washed over him and he still didn't know why.

"You hate kissing me that much." he blurted out. And the question caught off guard both if them. Jinyoung looked at him surprised. But then it felt like he realized something and then he snort.

"You only liked the kiss because you liked the feel of my lips." he was blushing but he still said that.

"Well that is true"

"Now would you let me go"

"No but tell me why? Why are you running away. Because it's embarrassing?"

"No because I'm an idiot. Now let go."

"No you are not... What happened Jinyoung."

Jinyoung thought for a second before he looked at Jaebeom.

"Since everything is ruined, I might just tell you that hyung I like you, and in a romantic kind of way and this kiss was way more than just some really good lips for me."

Jinyoung forcefully shook Jaebeom's hands away and walked again. Jaebeom didn't know what to do but then again he can't let go of Jinyoung, not like that. He knew he can't.

" I can try.... " His voice was low but Jinyoung heard it.

"Hyung no one can try to love another person... You just fall in love. And it's out of control. You can't force it."

"I like you though."

"You liking me as friends and me loving you in a romantic way is way too different."

"But I can try." Jaebeom didn't know why he was that desperate.

"Why you even wanna do this? Just because you like kissing me." Jinyoung voice was filled sadness and anger.

Jaebeom had never seen Jinyoung this way, he thought why he didn't want Jinyoung to leave and why is he consisting in trying to love him? But he can't just let Jinyoung walk away like this. He knew that if Jinyoung walked away right now nothing will be same as before and he didn't spend his last ten years with Jinyoung to be wasted over a stupid dare. And he knew he was willing to try.


"I don't wanna let you go... I don't want things to change." Jaebeom mumbled. Jinyoung sighed,

"Nothing will be changed hyung.... We can always think this as some stupid night where we got drunk and it was all a dream."
It was a good idea, but now that Jaebeom knew that Jinyoung loved him he can't just let it go. He knew no matter how they try to put it, things would never be the same, and he will hurt Jinyoung more.

"No... I will try. "

"Why are you insisting so much... " to this Jaebeom has no answers, he just grabbed Jinyoung's wrist and started walking. Jinyoung was complaining but he let Jaebeom led him.
Jaebeom went to Jackson.

"Hey man..." Jackson said.

"key.... I need the key." Jaebeom was so cold that Jackson handed him Jinyoung's room keys without any word.

Soon they were in the room, the noise from the part was muffled by the string door. Thank God.

"Now... Jinyoung ah... Let's talk."

"There is nothing to talk hyung.... I'm just saying that we can just put this under the rug and move on."

"You love me?" Jaebeom ignored all what Jinyoung said and asked. Jinyoung was all red as he had no choice but to nod.

"Since when?"

"A long time."

"Why didn't you tell me."

"I don't want to ruin our friendship... It's really important to me." Jinyoung said quietly.

"I don't want to ruin it either, but we can't look over your thing like this. I'm willing to try."

"But that's like forcing you to love me. And I don't like this."

"I like you more than anyone else... You are like my most treasured person after my parents... And I think it's not forced at all... I'm willing because I think I can, I already like you more than a friend."

"This is all so weird, you can't do things like this... All you want is just a kiss.."

"No... I did want a kiss at first but that's all and now I know that it's you who did I'm so relived. I felt genuinely happy that it was you who kissed me."

"I...."

"Please....Just give me a chance."

"....okay." Jinyoung said, he was sitting on his bed while Jaebeom was standing during the whole conversation. Then Jinyoung pat  his side signalling Jaebeom that he can sit beside him and Jeabeom did. They stayed like that for a while before Jaebeom held Jinyoung's hand and said.

"Relax, nothing will change.. It will be good, no it will be better."

"This is weird..."

"I know... Hey look at me at least."
Jinyoung looked at Jaebeom and his heart swells, the situation was weird but being with Jaebeom had always been relaxing for him.
Something gravitates him towards Jaebeom and he didn't know what but it didn't take him any time to attached his lips against Jaebeom's. Jaebeom was a bit surprised but he gave in.
But now that Jinyoung knew that Jaebeom was willing to try and he was in comfort of his own room and Jaebeom's presence he got bold. He sit up, lips still attached to older male as he pushed Jaebeom down on the bed, hovering him as Jaebeom landed on his back on the soft mattress.
The kiss wasn't slow , it was fast both exploring new territory that they were given. Tongues swirling, teeth crashing. It wasn't the best, but it wasn't awful either. In fact they both loved it.
When the need to breath was to obvious they both pulled away, panting. Jinyoung slipped beside Jaebeom and now both are laying on their sides facing each other.
Jinyoung smiled and Jaebeom mirrored the action.


"I don't think I need a day to fall in love with you... I'm already loving you." Jaebeom said. Jinyoung eyes widened as he looked at his friend.

"I know this is all rushed and weird... But I get it... I have been so used to you that I couldn't give up on you... And I was so frustrated when I thought of you leaving.... Being in love with you is what I have been doing for a long time... It just I didn't know... And I don't think nothing would change except the fact that we will kiss a lot and I think I like this factor. " Jaebeom said as he leaned in for a peck. Jinyoung eyes were wet when he pulled away.

"Yah don't cry on me. "

"You are a ing idiot. "

"... Love you too.. "

" I hate you... Do you know how much I suffer because of you.... "

"I'm sorry. "

" I hate you."

"love you too."

They kissed a  little and soon they both fall in sleep while holding onto each other. Afraid that it was all a dream and it would be over if they let go.

 

.....


Next morning came with Jackson barging into their room.

"You guys actually did it?" he screamed on top of his lungs. Jaebeom just groaned as he sit up, glaring at his friend but then he saw a flustered Jinyoung beside him so he pat Jinyoung's head and smiled at him.

"Good morning." he said softly.
Jinyoung relaxed a little but didn't say anything. Eyes still fixed on jackson who was grinning ear to ear.

Jaebeom rolled eyes at Jackson as he stood up,

"No we didn't. We just talked and sleep that's all."


He said as he opened Jinyoung's closet and looked into the clothes. He actually found two of his own hoodies. He picked Jinyoung's pink sweater and blue shorts throwing them at him.

"change we are leaving for breakfast." he said.

"wow... Morning date already... That's unfair I'm coming too."

"No you are not. Stay at home me and Jinyoung are going." Jaebeom said as he pulled off his shirt just there and put on one of the hoodie he found in the closet.

"You have no shame, and aren't you going to wash?"

"Nah...I'm good, I did showered last night when I came here and I didn't sweat much... So yeah I'm clean... I'm just gonna splash some water in my face." he said.

"I really want to know why Jinyoung likes you," Jackson snort,folding his hands.

"You knew?"
"Who does not know? only you. And also you got together because of me anyway, so you should treat me,"

"Hell no,"

"stingy."

"Whatever,"

Jaebeom stick his tongue at Jackson and left the room, Jackson calling out from behind.


He reached in front of the bathroom and Jinyoung left it at the same time. They both standing in front of each other, Jaebeom smiled and Jinyoung blushed while he smiled as well.

He could hear Jackson calling them "gross" but chose to ignore that.

"Let me wash my face and we will leave." Jaebeom said and Jinyoung nod.
He washed his face and then had an urge to brush his teeth as well. He looked at the two brushed and instantly he knew that red was Jinyoung's. It's wasn't the first time he was using it anyway. He had always used jinyoung's tooth brush when he came over to their house and Jinyoung doing the same with his.

And then he realized that maybe there wasn't much of a difference before and after. They were actually living like a couple already, someone in relationship. Him using the same tooth brush and his hoodie in Jinyoung's closet says a lot about their lives. He smiled as he figured out that the ride was actually easy for them. And he thanked God that Jinyoung loved him. He went out with smile on his face.

"You look creepy to be honest." mark said, who just walked out of Jackson room and Jaebeom isn't going to question why mark was wearing only under ware which wasn't even his own to begin with.

"I'm just happy." he answered as he went to Jinyoung who had already put on his shoes, has Jinyoung always looked this good? he thought.

"Ready." Jinyoung asked.
Jaebeom smiled as he leaned in for a quick peck on those plump lips. The reason why they were here in the first place.

"I'm always ready for you." he smiled.

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fallinlvve #1
Chapter 1: Loved it so much. Thanks for writing this amazing work.