It was a Saturday morning. Children were playing on the various, colourful, play equipment, as their parents kept a watchful eye on them. The noise of dogs barking at each other playfully as they chased each other in circles filled a whole area trying to drown out the playful laughs of the kids running around. 

 

The park covered a wide area that could fit about three small houses. It was hilly with a tall tree or two near one hill. There were benches for people to sit in every corner and jogging tracks were all around the edges of the park. Flower hedges and bushes grew all around; this made the park look more pleasant and attractive. This place would have been most beautiful at this time; it would have been so pleasurable to relax here and take in some cool fresh air.

 

Junmyeon was slowly inhaling scent of upcoming spring, loosening his body to the morning breeze. He hid his hands in the pockets of his brown coat and tilted his head back so it rested on the backrest of the bench.

 

Suddenly, his relaxed state was disturbed by the feeling of the small hands smacking his knee. He opened one eye to look at his 5 year old, who was smiling at him lovingly.

 

,,Daddy look! I found you a daisy!” Little girl admired flower held in both hands. She extended them to her father, waiting impatiently for him to take it.

 

Junmyeon let out a small laugh and gave Yeri a finger poke to the cheek. He took the gift. Her hands bore the innocence only a child could have; soft and delicate. His memories went back to the very day he first held her in his arms when she was born.

 

You grow everyday but I'll always see you as a little, precious pearl.  

 

,,Thank you my little squirtle.” He said with a wide grin. The girl took a seat next to him and wrapped her arms around his, while he was examining the flower. He glanced at the little girl and peck a kiss on her head full of black hair.

 

The time seemed to be going in slow motion. It made him happy that world gifted him with this ball of joy. But at the same time, the moment filled him with sadness as he was hoping Yeri wouldn’t ask that one question.

 

,,Dad?”

 

Please don’t ask me. You know she will come. We've been doing this for a month now.

 

,,Today in kindergarten Miss Seungwan was telling us about nature ans stuff.”

 

,,Oh really?” Thank God. Junmyeon breathed a sigh of relief. ,,Like what exactly?”

 

,,Well, she was talking about some kind of circles in nature. Like we need sun to be healthy, trees to breath and then she told us about how leaves need to have water, otherwise they die.” The frown appeared on her face. She lowered her head and started to play with her hands.  Junmyeon started to get worried.

 

,,Yeri sweetie, I know it sounds complicated for you but that’s how world work. You know, for example, that we  can’t stop the rush of the wind. So like that, leaf needs water to live.” He said, caressing her hair.

 

,,I know but..” She stopped and let out a big sigh. ,,It made me think about you and mom.”

 

Like a leaf without water so do you, mean nothing without me.

 

The guilt pierced his heart as he halted his hand. Suddenly, the imagine of the last 6 months flashed before his eyes. Constant fighting, lonely nights on the couch or in his working room, the tears behind her beautiful, dark eyes. And on top of that, the imagine of his daughter standing in a doorway in her pj’s with a teddy bear, watching her mother packing her luggage at 1 p.m.

 

,,Yeri, I know what you’re feeling right now. But you know, this isn’t your fault.” 

 

She knew. Acceptance was harder.

 

They sat in silence for a while. Until Yeri rose her head and immediately her eyes were again filled with sparkles.

 

,,Mommy!” And with that she jumped of the bench and run to the approaching woman who welcomed her with open arms.

 

Despite his thoughts telling him to not look, he couldn’t help but to set his eyes on lovely but bitter sight- his now ex-wife.

 

Her heels were loudly clicking against the hard surface of the sidewalk. Black pants and dress shirt were giving her a vibe of a highly positioned business women. Her whole outfit was hidden under the warm light brown coat, which she got from him on her 22th birthday. 

 

Her long, dark hair was hanging loose, dancing with the rhythm of the wind. Her face was free of makeup. Honestly she didn’t need it.

 

She was still beautiful. Like the day he confessed his love under the cherry blossoms. Like at the day of their wedding. Like the day Yeri was born.

 

Like the day they signed the divorce papers. I used to be ready to be everything for you.

 

At the sight of a girl running and calling out to her, she opened up her arms and caught the little munchkin. She placed her on her hip and gave her big kiss on the cheek. 

 

They seemed to have a small conversation until Yeri pointed her finger at her father still sitting on the bench. Joy left woman’s face. She placed her daughter on the ground and whispered something to her ear. With that, Yeri nodded her head and disappeared between swings and slides.

 

Junmyeon felt heart racing against his chest as he saw the young women shortening the distance.

 

She gave him an empty look and took a seat at the end of the bench, as far as she could from him.

 

,,Joohyun.” Junmyeon said without looking at her. Now Bae. Used to be Kim.

 

,,Junmyeon.” She answered back, putting her hair behind the ear, also without eye contact.

 

Junmyeon was observing how her hand was coming down on her cheeks. Those slender, gentle hands which he used to hold during thunderstorms, walks on Han River’s bridge and her giving birth. But this time…

 

Without the ring.

 

,,Did you pick her from the kindergarten at the right time?” She asked, crossing her arms.

 

,,Yeah.”

 

,,Did she ate dinner yet?”

 

,,No, she said she wants to eat something later. I bought her banana smoothie cause she asked me to.” 

 

,,Okay.”

 

Joohyun took a glance at the man next to her. Leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. The gold Rolex decorated his wrist, along with visible veins under the skin.

 

Those hands.

 

She remembers the way it would woke her up. And the way it would put her to sleep every night. The way it gave her warm during cold nights. The way it was caressing her swollen belly during her pregnancy.

 

,,I talked with my lawyer about the right to guardianship. Don’t worry. We will divide it even.”

 

,,That’s good to hear. Thank you.”

 

It all became very complicated. It started with him coming back late form work to the point of not spending time with his family during important events or in general.

 

Then came her new assistant at work, who seemed to be too confident with his female employer. It took Joohyun a lot of arguing and a slap on her husband's face to snap Junmyeon out of unnecessary jealousy.

 

This and many others led them to say I don’t love you anymore.

 

,,You look at me like a stranger or even worse.” Tiredness was heard behind Junmyeon’s words. He felt the urge to say this in order to clean the air. ,,Maybe that's the way things go, a strong hate to break a strong love” He said, gently touching the finger on which wedding ring used to be.

 

Joohyun send him an apologetic look in her slightly teary eyes. She bit her lower lip.

 

,,I still see who you are, know the person you were to me. I know you hurt and I'm sorry, truly.” She sighed. ,,Yet there has to be a part of you that knows I hurt also. We both know this is over for us.”

 

It truly is. 

 

,,At least, let’s make sure Yeri will never have to go through that pain again.” Joohyun added, feeling guilty of hurting her precious daughter this way.

 

They were now looking at her playing tag with other kids.

 

The girl is like a snapshot out of time. They can see her black hair blowing in the spring breeze, her youthful face turned toward the sun. Though she’s confused and probably hurt, she runs around like the joy of life within her cannot be tamed. To them she is the world itself and without her they cannot enjoy a simple flower or the rising sun. There is nothing they wouldn't do to keep her safe from harm, but staying together isn’t an option for now. Or ever again.

 

,,I should probably take her home now.” Joohyun said, raising from the bench. She called for Yeri as she was now dancing in circles with other girls.

 

,,I see. I will come for her next week.”

 

Sometimes, you replay the events in your head and wonder what was the right words to say.

 

Yeri was now at her mother’s side, hugging her leg. She looked at Junmyeon like on that day when he was putting her to bed and she asked him why he didn't come to her birthday party.

 

,,Come on squirrel. Say goodbye to dad.”

 

Yeri took three small steps ahead. Junmyeon squatted to have his eyes on the same level with hers. He grabbed her small hands.

 

,,I know you and mom don't love each other anymore. But...you will never leave me, right dad?”

 

And that was enough for him. Without answering, her pulled her into a bear hug which she returned. Trying to hold back tears, he kissed her round cheeks and gave her a smile.

 

,,Never Yeri.”

 

She let him go and took Joohyun’s hand extended to her. For a moment she made an eye contact with the man in front of her.

 

The gaze was enough. There were no words needed.

 

Maybe one day we will find each other again.

 

The expression behind his eyes was unsure and unconvincing. All he received was her blank face.

 

You know what? You probably don't even believe it yourself.

 

With that, they both turned around and went in the opposite directions, trying to learn on how to live together but still apart.