One-Shot

Not Just My Voice Is Out, Tonight

 

*****

 

The night had settle outside, a time ago, and one, only lamp was on, in the whole apartment. Sitting on his couch, gazing at the window, not really looking, what was going on outside…Seungri was just sitting there, alone with himself, in complete silence. It has been, his new routine, since March. Nothing much to do, than wait. Waiting for phone calls from his lawyer, from his parents, wanting news, about how goes his case, to date…few texts messages from his «former» manager, to know when to help him, driving him to the Police Station, the Prosecution office, the gym, the Dojo and his others appointments. Seungri tried his best, to not go out much, not wanting public eye on him…Reporters and Paparazzis are trying to follow him anywhere, wanting the crunchiest news, to make the society, hating him more…And he tried to avoid, his others works. Losing Aori Ramen was really hard, and he is still crying about it. Closing his Dance Academy had been difficult but Aori…was really worst, because, he felt it was more, his fault, that the business ended up like this. He doesn’t even want to think about Burning Sun…Seungri still had to take care of Yuri Holdings, his shares in others companies/buildings, his associations to the Cosmetics/Medical companies and his DJs, that followed him after his retirement. He is grateful for them, to show their supports but he is scared, his now, new reputation, will affect their works. And when it comes…to the members of Bigbang…his chest always feel heavy, thinking about them. He is uncomfortable, when he talk with them, the few times, it’s allowed for them, to call him, because of Military rules. He barely spoke on the line, Seungri just listen to them, processing their encouragements and they won’t let him down, ever…but he just feel…guilty…The others members are trying their best, to stay positive but the future of the group, is uncertain. Seungri retired, publicly, after all. And few months ago, Media is attacking them, individually…making the public mad, when hearing the name of the group. The opinion always has been mixed, over the years, but it got, on the negative side, since Seunghyun’s scandal, and way worst, with Seungri’s…thinking about his big Hyung, who have now finished his duty, away from cameras and silent on Social Media for two years. Seungri can understand, now the feeling, the older got, since it’s now his turn. And Seungri, have more respect for him, even more now, since Seunghyun is back and active again, on Instagram. And the older is trying to communicate more with the open-minded fans. Seungri have seen him, dealt with emotions, way more than before, since Seunghyun always have been sensitive. Seunghyun’s health have worried everyone, since the debut of Bigbang…but worst, when Seunghyun’s got hospitalized after his scandal broke out. Seungri knows, Seunghyun will never fully healed, but these last months, his demons seem more, in control. Seungri wonders now, if he will be able, to control his own demons, that have accumulated since the promotions of the complete MADE album. His solo with The Great Seungri, have been difficult on him, and he knows, fans have seen, that he do have insecurities and low self-esteem now…and he is sad, the fans have noticed it. But people have to know, he is human too…he can’t be the confident «Strong Baby» all the time. He is dealing with emotions…and negatives ones, especially since Burning Sun scandal.

 

While thinking alone, in his dark home, he didn’t realized, his phone have been buzzing with texts messages. Seungri finally snapped back, to reality, when this time, his phone is now ringing. He got off the couch and headed to the kitchen, taking his cellphone, on top of the counter. It was TOP…Seungri was surprised to see him, calling.

 

  • Hello?...

 

  • Seungri-ahhh…!

 

Just by the tone, Seungri knew, the older man, have been drinking…but not much, just to a point, to feel happy and playful…wich Seungri knew, it’s not good news for him.

 

  • Hyung…wwhy are you calling?

 

  • I saw the news earlier, those Reporters were still waiting for you, even if you asked for a private meeting…and…I saw…your annoying face.

 

  • Well thanks…

 

 

  • I mean, you were angry.

 

  • Yeah…I should have get myself together…Netizens will talk about this, tomorrow…I’m sorry…

 

  • Nah…that’s fine…We are almost October, you have been enduring this whole circus with patience, by now. You had the right, to finally, show your anger. You should be proud of yourself, because I am…you are, clearly, better than me, to deal with this kind of situation.

 

  • Uh…maybe…

 

  • I am, on my way.

 

  • To where? Are you traveling?

 

  • No. I am going straight to your house. Almost there.

 

  • Wha…?

 

  • Let’s go out, I feel like it.

 

Seungri was not feeling, going out, at all. He have tried his best, to stay, mostly inside his home.

 

  • Hyung…I…

 

  • I just arrived in the underground parking of your building, I am coming up, to pick you. Be ready!

 

The line cut out before Seungri could replicate. He sighed. He looked at himself, he was wearing a simple black T-Shirt with a loose warm cardigan and his PJ plaid pants…he didn’t planned to go out, at all, since he came back from the Police station, an hour ago. He got lucky, to get out of there, on early evening. He came back home, showered and eaten a cup of ramen, before finally, sitting in his living room and enjoyed the silence and darkness of his home…to relieve the stress of his long day. He didn’t had time to head, to his dressing room, his front door made the blipping sound of someone entering the code. Seungri walk towards the entryway and discovered a Seunghyun…in his PJs…well, his usual preferred outfit, with his long black jacket, offered by fans.

 

  • TOP Hyung…

 

  • Come on, follow me. Let’s go!

 

  • But…

 

  • No, no «but», we are going out, tonight! You want it or not.

 

Seungri was surprised by this mood of Seunghyun. It was really not, his usual self, to get out of his Villa, and have fun elsewhere than his home…especially, just the two of them. They rarely see each other. But Seungri didn’t wanted to fight or argue with the older man, especially after a day like this. He just grabbed his keys and phone, and followed Seunghyun towards the elevator. He decided to keep his house slippers in his feets. If TOP is going out in PJ, Seungri can permitted himself too, to enjoyed a night out, in comfy clothes. Seunghyun’s surprised invitation, might be, not a bad idea. They both stayed silent in the elevator, TOP looking at his phone, probably on his Instagram, since he posted weirds blue theme, like a plate of balls and smoking chimneys. He seems to enjoyed the comments, by the little smile, showing in the corner of his lips. The door opened and Seunghyun leaded him to the car, where Seungri’s manager was waiting, behind the wheel. Both Seunghyuns entered the black car.

 

  • Taekgu…were you driving Hyung?

 

  • Yes, he wanted me, to head to his place after you finished the interrogation.

 

  • Hyung…you planned this?

 

  • Yup! And glad, they released you early. I would have still waited for you, even at 4am.

 

  • Hyung…

 

Seungri didn’t knew what to say. He was thankful for Seunghyun, to think about him, but feel troublesome again, that he have to think about him. The older man, was busy after all, with producing music with Kyung Il, going to many Art exhibitions and seeing or receiving a lot of his personal friends. And he probably wanting to visit Mark in Hawaii or his sister/nephew in Philippines. Seungri should have been last, in his priorities, after all, with this whole scandal mess. Both men, enjoyed the ride, to somewhere unknown to Seungri, talking little, about Daesung’s appearance to the last military Festival, or the fans, preparing and counting GD’s discharge. JiYong will get out, in a month…and Seungri was still not in…Everything had been planned, to all of them…but like always, nothing goes as planned. Seunghyun had to face consequences during his duty and Seungri…everything blew up before his official enlistment date, in March. Everything was ready, took care of, he was supposed to finish his world tour and finalizing the last paperworks of his businesses, leaving no title to his name, behind, because of Military rules. Even after 13 years with Bigbang, he should have remember himself, that he can’t predict the future. Yep…he didn’t predicted at all, the Burning Sun Gate, and worst, the KakaoTalks of Jung Joon Young, being exposed, and make his name, associated to it. And both in a short of time. Seungri tought he was finally seeing the end of his case, but allegations of gambling with YG, came along, last month. YG…it’s another «pang» in his heart…even if many, are trying to say, Seungri shouldn’t blame himself for the situation of the agency…he do feel responsible on certains matters. It’s another thing, he didn’t predicted, seeing Yang Hyun Suk and his brother, stepping down, of their titles. YG Entertainment is now, in a critical situation. Seungri have tried his best, to put distance, with YG and his case…but Media got too curious, and it led, to new problematics matters. Seungri is worried, scared and sad for all the employees, people working under YG and the labels…because it’s a big family…a loving one, and they shouldn’t go through all this…

Seungri looked out, at the window, seeing all the others cars and buildings passing. He doesn’t know where they are going, but he hope it’s not a club…because, Seungri have a little trauma, now, of them. Anyway, dressed like this, and Seunghyun’s got bored of them, over the years, the chance, are low. The car, took a turn in an alley and Taekgu parked in a dark spot, next to a brick wall. Seunghyun got hyped at the view, of the building. Seungri’s manager give, to TOP, a backpack, and all three, got out of the car. Seungri followed them, not asking anything. They find a open door, with a lots of neon lights, and entered the place, go down, the stairs and walked a long hallway. Taekgu found the counter and asked for 3 hours and many bottles of soju. Seungri looked at Seunghyun, questionning his taste, for the night. The older man, looked at him, smiled widely and put an arm, around his shoulders.

 

  • I wanted to hear, you sing.

 

  • A karaoke…really?

 

  • I did recording for a moment now, since my discharge, but I am pretty much alone.

 

  • Well…it’s solos…that’s normal. And why this place, if you are tired of singing?

 

  • I miss your voice, Maknae.

 

  • It’s been many months now, since I sang something…my voice is not prepared.

 

  • Don’t care. I want us, to have fun and scream our lungs out. Let’s drink and sing everything we find, in the book.

 

Seunghyun leaded him by the shoulders and both, followed Taekgu, to their private room. The place was kind of crappy, but the place was not crowded tonight, many rooms were empty. In their room, the place was filled with moving colored lights, two big seats facing each other, a low table between them and a giant screen, ready to display their choosen songs. The same kind of room, they used for the MV of «We like 2 party». Taegku put down, all the Soju bottles on the table, while TOP, opened his backpack, and filling the table, of many snacks, especially colored candies, like gummies. Seungri was asking himself, if the older, is really 7 years old, and with his «sweets» posts on IG.

 

  • You always had a sweet tooth…but isn’t an exaggeration? Gummies, chips, caramelized popcorn and a variety of chocolates with sprinkles on it…are you sure, your trainer and nutritionist are happy, seeing you, eating all this?

 

  • Let’s forget the diet, I am not touring, promoting or acting these days. And I do exercise regurlarly…I am not worried. So, what song, should we open the night?

 

Seunghyun took the book, on one of the seat, and begun flipping the pages. Seungri opened a bottle of Soju, and drank it from the bottle, not bothering to use the tiny glasses. Alcohol can be your best friend, sometimes, especially in the last months. His consomation augmented, since he had nothing much to do, at home. Drinking while watching multiples variety shows or rom-com dramas. Drowning the sadness, that he ended his variety show career…he enjoyed it so much. Even if it was pretty much scripted, he felt at his place, in this part of the entertainment industry. Now, he was wondering, if a slight chance to come back to it, was possible. He knew, Japan, was maybe, the only place, to do it, again. But he was really unsure…to succeed again, on a return, he was unsure of himself, because nothing will be the same, as before. Seungri gulped down a big mouthful of the clear alcohol, and made the sound of contentment. He gazed on the page, Seunghyun was looking at, and snorted annoyingly.

 

  • English ones? Are you losing your Korean, Professor Choi?

 

  • Koreans songs, at the Karaoke, are always the same, trot and sorrowful ballads. Let’s go International. Found perfect ones, for you! Look, do Nicki Minaj, you have things in common.

 

  • Born in December…a fat …and…retired…

 

  • Hum…that’s not what I was thinking, okay, maybe the bubbly , but you two, are colorful and blunt.

 

*****

 

The mood was not going well. Seunghyun got taken aback by Seungri’s negative attitude. It’s not a side, he saw much, of the Maknae. TOP was not expecting to deal with a depressed Seungri, at all. He knew, really well, his little brother, was having a hard time, but didn’t realised how much the hardship, he was facing, was draining and taking all his energy. Seungri is known to be, a happy pill, an energizer drink. But Seunghyun, didn’t see any of it, since they left the appartment. And realized too, the younger didn’t laughed or smiled, one time. It’s something that have bothered Seunghyun, over the months…seeing slowly, Seungri, going into depression. He really wished, Seungri was not going into that dark place. It’s normal, to feeling down, for everyone, but depression, is really, another story. And TOP, was the better person, to know it. He have been battling it, for years. And it was big up and downs…more downs than up. It hurts, to see him, being attacked like this, by media, and by public opinion. Seunghyun saw all the names, Seungri is now, being portrayed…and it breaking his heart. Seungri, is not that type, of person…Netizens doesn’t know him, doesn’t know, the real story. Seungri have tried to explained, but the journalists have played with his interview and barely published his point of view, continuing to biased the public, to one side, and it was the horrible one. Seungri didn’t deserved all that…Seungri, his little dongsaeng, his beautiful Maknae…is a way better person than many, Seunghyun knows, and he wanted, to include himself in the lot. The one, who really did, commit a crime, was him. He willingly smoked , and not just on, one occasion. He knew the risk, but took it anyway. He paid the price, and the time have passed now. But it’s true, it’s a big scar on his heart, added to many others, since he is born. He dived in really dark place and it almost costed his life. Just thinking about it…the image of his mother is coming to his mind, and the guilt, he’s feeling, will be there, till the end of his life…and about the others, his family, his closed personal friends and the members of Bigbang, they have shown their patience and support, even if they were busy with work, in or out, of the country, they did their best to show their presence, next to him. Seungri and him, have talked for long hours, on the phone. Few people knew, but Seungri can be deep and of good advices. He is not just a positive and optimism ball on two legs. Seungri can understand feelings, processing them, and be a person of wisdom. Seunghyun is thankful and indebted to his little Seunghyun. The others members, also, have this feeling too. Seungri always, have been there, when a scandal broke out. When he cried for JiYong and stayed next to him, to not let him, be alone. And for Daesung, too, Seungri have been a good confident and holded his hands. This is why, Seunghyun, thought, it was now, their turns, to do, the same. Especially, when, Seungri, have been fighting, all this, pretty much, alone. Seunghyun couldn’t be much present, and it was worse, for the others three. So, Seunghyun, was hoping, that tonight, could help him, even if it’s little. He wanted, to see, his forever Maknae, smiling and laughing, and forgetting, for a moment, his situation.

 

  • Well…is there, a song, or an Artist, you want to sing, or imitate?

 

Seungri took the book, and slowly flipped the pages. He stopped at one, artist. Seunghyun looked up, well, the songs of this person, are quite special, colorful and deep, at the same time. Not always appreciated, as a person, but everybody, liked to talk about her. Good or bad. TOP realized, Miley Cyrus, is also, a December baby…seems a trait for them, to be criticized by public.

 

  • So, what do you choose? Partying with «We can’t stop»?

 

Seunghyun was ready, to dance and shout. But Seungri didn’t choose this one, he pressed his choice and got up, took the mic, and looked at it…a little in fear. Seungri didn’t probably used his voice, in a long time…but Seunghyun saw, in the eyes, of the Maknae, more thoughs like…if he had the right, to sing…By the years, Seunghyun saw him, dealing a little, with insecurities and low self-esteem, but now…he can see, it’s no more little. Solos, always have scared Seungri, but he did managed and succeeded on his own, since, he is hard-working, but his last solo, must not have been easy, nobody was there, to give him feedback. Seunghyun texted him, only, saying he was waiting to hear his stuffs, but he should have been more present, and helped him…Seunghyun and Seungri made eye contact, and the older man, smiled at him, giving some encouragement. The piano notes began, to be heard and lyrics appeared. And like, always, Seungri was beautiful…and in his element. He sang, softly, even with his accent, hitting the right notes, as usual, and making the song, his own. Seungri was feeling the lyrics…and it hit, Seunghyun.

 

  • But I, I gotta keep tryin'
    Gotta keep my head held high

    There's always gonna be another mountain
    I'm always gonna wanna make it move
    Always gonna be an uphill battle
    Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
    Ain't about how fast I get there
    Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
    It's the climb

    The struggles I'm facing
    The chances I'm taking
    Sometimes might knock me down
    But no, I'm not breaking
    I may not know it
    But these are the moments
    That I'm gonna remember most, yeah
    Just gotta keep goin'

    And I, I gotta be strong
    Just keep pushing on

    'Cause

 

Even if it was supposed, to be a party, Seunghyun was not angry, of this mood. Because, he is having his answer. Seungri was not breaking. Seungri was still positive, that he will see, the light, at the end, of all this mess, whatever the time, it takes. Seungri was showing a strong patience. Seunghyun was, now, a little less, worried. Seungri could have sang, fakely feeling the lyrics, but just by the sound, of his voice, Seunghyun could hear the truth…Seungri is an honest person, after all. The Maknae is an easy book, to read. The beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, cute, loyal and true Lee Seunghyun, standing in front of the screen, singing in the microphone and gaining back, some confidence. Seunghyun just couldn’t take off, his eyes, of him. Seungri was perfect, like always. The younger man, finished the song, emotional. And somewhat, proud of himself. Taekgu applaused while he was still munching some chips. Seunghyun put his soju glass on the table, and got up, to tapped on the shoulder of his dongsaeng.

 

  • It was great, Seungriah.

 

And Seunghyun, decided, to really show, how much proud, he is. He did, like the others too, when to praise their Maknae, put his hand, on the hair of Seungri and caressed his head. And finally…Seungri showed a smile. Seunghyun’s eyes felt tearful, he was rewarded with Seungri’s best physical trait. Not to show, how much, happy, he is feeling, he ruffled all Seungri’s hair, making his «baby» haircut, all messy.

 

  • Hyung!!

 

  • It’s my turn now, to sing!

 

Seungri gave him, the mic and asked him, what song, he wanted to do, that he will pressed the choice. Seunghyun gave him, his request, and again, Seungri took care, of everything, as usual, because the Maknae, always take care of the others, than himself, in the end.

 

 

*****

 

They enjoyed, their night, screaming, shouting the lyrics that was appearing on the screen. Seungri watching TOP, dancing whatever moves, being the Bingu, he is. They have been drinking quite a few bottles now, snacking time to time. Seungri was feeling his usual energy, back. Okay, they were a little drunk, but Seungri was really having fun. Taekgu, who didn’t drink, since, he was the one, driving, was enjoying the night, as much, as the other two. He was playing with an instrument, accompanying Seunghyun, in his attempt to sing Seungri’s song, 1,2,3.

 

  • This might be unnecessary to say
    But I think we’re all animals in the end
    The reason the iris in my eyes are shining
    Is because there’s pressure in my heart…

 

WOHOOO OHOO! MAKNAE, I REALLY LOVE YOUR ALBUM! IT’S THE BEST!!

 

I'll count till three and you shall come over
1 2 3!
1, 2, 3
I'll count till three and you shall come over
1 2 3!
1, 2, 3…

 

 

Seungri was laughing so much. His hyung, was really something. How to not love this 7 year old, in a body of a 32 years old. Seunghyun motioning Seungri, to come over, dancing after shouting his famous 1,2,3. The younger man, did his original choreo while TOP attempted to follow the moves, but failed miserably, stumbling. Seungri was having difficulty, also, since the alcohol was deciding of his body movements, and the slippers was not helping either. Seunghyun finished the song, jumping on place, arms in the air, feeling victorious, to have sang, Seungri’s song. The maknae jumped with him, completely excited. Both Seunghyuns, drunk, jumping and laughing, like two kids. They were, enjoying the best time, of their life, forgetting the world outside.

 

Both were panting, on the seat, still having a little laugh, that just couldn’t stop. Taekgu pointing out, the time was now running, they can do only one song. Seunghyun took the book and seemed to try, to find a ballad. Seungri asked,

 

  • You or me?

 

  • You.

 

 

Taekgu was agreeing, on a more, relaxed song, he had enough of their hyped energy. He pointed out,

 

  • Seungri is so good, at ballad. You did a good job on Masked Singer.

 

  • My falsetto, was not that on point…

 

  • No, no! You did great, fans still talked about it, on the net.

 

Seunghyun stopped his research and looked apologetic towards Seungri

 

  • Sorry Maknae, I missed it…

 

  • That’s fine, Hyung. You don’t always have the time, or the will, to watch everything I do.

 

 

 

  • Can I have, a special tonight, just for me? I want to listen, to the song, you did.

 

  • Uhmm…

 

Seunghyun pouted and acted like an angry child…Seungri couldn’t resist. He pressed Pinnochio by Roy Kim and standed to the screen. The melody began and sang, looking in the eye, of his hyung. Seunghyun was all smile, totally focused on his adorable Maknae.

 

You are smiling again today
And from far away, I smile following you
It feels almost as if you would smile at me
Perhaps at least once

Today you are crying
And from behind you, I cry following you
At least once, if I may
I wish to wipe the tears away from your eyes.

The night wind is too cold
Come to me, I will hold you. By my side…
Oh~ When I look into your glistening eyes I tremble.
One day in the distant future, I’m bound to remember you
My love, my precious one

 

Youngbae was right, Seungri’s voice was made for ballads. But Seungri, prefered the sound of trending beats. But Seungri wished, he could have done more ballads and have done them, in a duet with s. He really do enjoy, working with Daesung, for this. They have done, songs, in the past, in their beginning…it was…so long ago, now. Seungri realized,he have missed chance, to work more with the others. But yeah…stardom have made him selfish in the beginning of his independance, and he had become arrogant, till finally, he mentally slapped himself back to reality, and be more humble. He thought he was already humble…but with the recent situations, he is facing, he still have a lot to learn. His future, was uncertain, after all…but he did his best, with himself, and with others.

Taekgu cleaned up the table, while TOP finished his soju bottle. Seungri deposed the mic and joined, the older man, on the seat.

 

  • Lee Seunghyun…that was good. So…so talented…my little dongsaeng, that I adore so much!

  • Tss…don’t exaggerate. My voice is just so-so…and I know it. I am not that good. I was not born with a goddess voice, like yours, or Youngbae and Daesung. And JiYong hyung is excellent at everything, completely born for this. I was just a kiddo, from Gwangju, thinking, I was a dancing master…I had to work really hard, to be able, to keep up, with all of you, over the years. Because, in the end…I am just pretty average…

 

Seunghyun patted his hair, shaking his head, negatively.

 

  • No…you, always have been talented. You are not average. You beat me, with the high notes. Your voice is versatile, for different genre. You know, exactly, how to produce, when you hear the first rhythm/beat. You were made, no…you are made, for this industry, Seunghyun-ah.

 

Seungri didn’t knew how to respond. Because, a part of him, was gladly agreeing with Seunghyun, and another part, was still doubting. The three men, leaved the room and returned to the car. Seunghyun asked Taekgu, to take them, at a specific place, near the Han River. TOP’s manager will be there, to take Seunghyun, back home. In the car, TOP lighted up a cigarette and opened a little, the window. With his other hand, he holded Seungri’s hand.

  • It’s been a long time, we’ve done this…going out and drinking.

  • Yeah…back in the day, you and GD Hyung would joined me, partying and drinking in many clubs in Gangnam…time have passed…

  • True…we got older now, and we got interested in other things.

  • We have our own personal friends and, we all live separately too…it put some distance, between all of us. The days of living in a dorm, together, is gone. And yeah…we are older too.

  • Should we all live together again? Buying a huge building, the five of us, and have two levels each, with connecting elevator and stairs. So we can go at someone place, in no time.

Seungri snorted at the idea.

  • Till…you complain at me, to not touch anything at your place, and finally, you will be all tired again of me…and leaving.

  • It’s true that you were loud, with your music and all invited friends always coming over…but it was never the real reason, why we moved. It was just the right time, to finally own a place, and happy, we could afford it, too. Sorry, if you felt, you were one of the reason, we left…

  • That’s fine Hyung…you don’t need to always apologize, to me. And glad, we are in a car, because you would have been on your knee, rubbing your hands together, apologizing and begging for my forgiveness…

  • I am slowly sobering up…so not tonight, sorry!

  • Tss…

Both laughed a little and the car parked, next to a place, leading to a park, near the Han River. Taekgu seems to search for Seunghyun’s manager, but don’t find him. TOP took his phone and texted his manager. He got a reply, right away.

  • He is coming soon, I told him, to wait for me, at the other side of the park. Come on, Maknae, there’s nobody at this hour, let’s take a walk and sober up. Take the old man, to his car, please.

Seungri didn’t need to answer back, for sure, that he would accompany him. Seungri told Taekgu to stay in the car and wait for him. Both Seunghyuns got out of the car, and begun walking together. Both realized, the temperature was quite low and they were not, really clothed for the weather. Seunghyun put an arm around his shoulders and both snuggled. TOP began to hum a song and Seungri recognized it and joined his voice.

  • (I’m singing my blues)
    Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
    (I’m singing my blues)
    The love that I have sent away with the floating clouds oh oh
  • I feel like my heart has stopped beating
    You and I, frozen there, after a war
    Trauma that has been carved in my head
    Once these tears dry up, I will moistly remember my love
    I’m neither painful nor lonely, happiness is all self-talk
    I can’t stand something more complicated
    It’s no big deal, I don’t care
    Inevitable wandering, people come and go

TOP added his part with Seungri, both harmonizing and doing a duet with "Blue".

  • Ah…happy, I still remember my part. It’s been a long time, we sang this song, and together…
  • Yeah, it’s been quite a time. I did a performance with Daesung and Youngbae hyung at their military festival…it was the last time, I stood on stage, with others members and as…a member of Bigbang…
  • Seungri-ah…
  • I don’t know what will happen of me, after all this and the military…but Hyung, the decision about Bigbang’s future is between, the four of you. But I really do, wish, you will stick to the promise of a 2020 comeback. And please, release that solo of yours, quicky. I am your biggest fan. You will succeed. You are…so loved.
  • And I love you, Maknae. You are, also loved. You are, our forever Maknae. And everything is possible, remember it. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
  • We’ll see…I still have a lot of self-reflection to do…because, I am not perfect, and I did do mistakes in the past…
  • I know, we already know. Only us, know the story. Your story…everyone does bad choices, in their life…it’s just harsher on us, because we are public figures, and it’s easy to be criticized.
  • I was an idiot…and childish…

Seungri was having a hard time, holding his tears, but he was so apologetic. He compromised the group. He was told, to not mess up…the tears were falling down, on his cheeks.

  • I am so sorry Hyung…I always, caused trouble…Sorry…Sorry…

Seunghyun stopped them of walking and hugged tightly the younger man. TOP felt sorry too, to not have been more there for him. It ended, both sobbed in each others arms.

  • I’m scared Hyung…

Seungri wanted to scream how much, he is fearing, for the next day, week and month, not knowing, what kind of news will fell on him. He is tired of this long year, beating him to the ground.

  • It’s okay, Seungri-ah…it will be fine, I am next to you, we are not leaving you…because we know you, and believe you. My Maknae is a good man, with a golden heart and soft like tofu.
  • I love you, Choi Seunghyun.
  • I love you, Lee Seunghyun.

Amid the tears, both smiled, on each other. TOP’s phone buzzed, probably signaling, his manager arrived. Seunghyun give big pats on Seungri’s back and the younger man, did the same. Both reluctantly released each other. Seungri could see TOP’s black car, waiting for him.

  • Come back home, safely, Hyung.
  • You too. And…let’s call each other soon, okay?
  • Yeah…I promise.
  • Good boy. Please, take good care of you. Keep being my y boy, on front of the cameras.
  • Tss…okay.

Seunghyun walked to his car and waved to Seungri, before entering the vehicle. The younger man, looked at the car, slowly driving to the street, he saw the rear window, opening, and seeing an arm, getting out…and TOP doing a finger heart with his fingers. Seungri couldn’t resist the cuteness of the older man, and smiled widely, with his heart feeling all warm.

  • Thank you, Hyung…for everything.

 

*****

 

 

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Comments

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Ms_koala #1
Chapter 1: It's really beautiful... And I miss him and them more 😭😭
panda_lo
#2
Chapter 1: 😭😭 im a mess now
naru___
#3
Chapter 1: ???
xNerissa_vvip
#4
Chapter 1: Thank you! This is very well written. I'm very worry for Seungri's future too. :( He is innocent from day 1...
zenith_mir #5
Chapter 1: This is good but...Why are u making me crying tho this is only fanfiction??..
shshchji
#6
Chapter 1: This was beautiful, but also so sad :(
pusingkpalabarbie #7
Chapter 1: ????
asmahani #8
Chapter 1: Sad
asmahani #9
Chapter 1: Sad
Frazzington
#10
Chapter 1: That was so beautiful, I'm a little teary eyed here
Thank you for this story.?