prologue

the day jungkook met yerim was wonderfully mediocre.

it was mid-november, although it didn't quite feel like autumn yet. sure, the leaves had already turned crisp, going from emerald green to different hues of oranges and browns, but the sun still shone brightly in the sky, enveloping the entirety of busan in a honey-like glow. 

contrary to the warmth that the celestial fireball provided throughout the daylight hours, the nights were eerily cold. the moon, coloured deep silver, would emerge from the gray clouds and cast deep shadows on the earth's surface. perhaps, the nights would be less uncanny if the abundance of skyscrapers and polluted air didn't block the view of the stars positioned on the black, velvety curtain. 

to jungkook, however, autumn was nothing special. it was just a transition sequence whose main purpose was to lessen the drastic change from summer to winter. and, unlike during spring when everything was brought back to life, autumn was the season in which everything was at a brink of death - flowers shriveled to the shell of what they once were and trees were rendered .

he stood underneath a lamp post on a bus stop that was located on the outskirts of the city. to his annoyance, the lamp posts which aligned the deserted street did little to further illuminate the area and, instead, served as an attraction to an entire eclipse of moths. besides the lamp post, only an old bench was present. the wood had turned somber brown from being exposed to the ruthless elements of nature. rust started wedging itself on the surface of the iron parts that made up the structure of the bench and the aforementioned object would let out a creak of agony once someone would do as little as to place a bag on it. he refrained himself from sitting and rather focused on glaring intensely at his wristwatch as if that would make the time pass faster. news flash, it didn't.

x

jungkook liked taking up the window seat ever since he was a little boy. it allowed him to stare out of the glass pane and observe the meditative scenery as the bus made its way down the road that was particularly full of weathered cracks. his gaze remained fixated on the sky once more. as night fell, the blue haze lifted to reveal a blanket of stars that were more visible once out of the center of town. if he focused hard enough, he could even make out the tattered band of the milky way. 

he didn't even notice the bus stopping and two passengers boarding. he didn't even notice how everyone's eyes would trail for a second too long on the pair that had just walked in. and he would've remained oblivious if a voice didn't call out to him, breaking him out of his trance of identifying the cluster of stars known as the southern cross.

"is this seat taken?"

the voice is a deep, rich baritone. it belonged to a boy who didn't look much older than jungkook himself. with sun-kissed skin as well as wisps of hair that seemed to defy gravity, the boy looked like a wonder. 

"uh, no, it's not." jungkook was quick to answer, proceeding to place his bag on top of his lap and scooting over to make even more space.

"thank you." the person who sits down is not the boy, however, but a girl who was accompanying him. she moved rather sluggishly, contrastingly, her ashen hands were shaking uncontrollably as she reached for a bottle of water. she at her parched, chapped lips and every time she would inhale, she would let out a quiet gasp; her lungs having no choice but to take in the stuffed air around them. "she has the flu."

the girl only smiled at jungkook.

perhaps, the word 'smile' isn't exactly the right word to describe the expression on her face. yes, her lips were quirked up on both ends and yes, two rows of pearly, white teeth did emerge but her eyes seemed sad. his mother once told him: "you can tell that someone is truly happy if their smile reaches their eyes. that glow, that twinkle in their eyes... that's the telltale sign. search  for eyes who shine with the mightiness of a thousand suns."

"i'm taehyung. kim. kim taehyung. and this is my little sister, yerim." he made sure to introduce both of them seeing as the girl - yerim, didn't seem capable of doing so or else she might've coughed up her lungs right then and there; at 9 o'clock in the middle of a bus that resembled more an about-to-be-thrown-out piece of metal than a functioning vehicle.

"we just moved here a couple of days ago."

(jungkook would later learn that taehyung and yerim were both new residents of the decrepit, neglected house next to his family's residence. oh, and that they talked a lot, too.)

x

the house in which the kims were supposedly living was short, stubby and always either under construction or deconstruction. the bricks were laid one by one and were so utterly peculiarly placed that it made every passerby wonder whether the entire house would collapse like a stack of dominoes once a singular brick is pulled out of its original place. mahogany wood framed the windows which were now fogged up and dauntingly yellow in colour. the previous owners held their unfed, hostile dogs in the front yard. presumably to keep away any burglars or intruders from their sad, yellow-mound home.

nevertheless, the pair of siblings worked hard alongside their father the entire winter to create a comfortable living space for the three of them. at times, jungkook and his older brother, wonwoo, would also come and help. you could even go as far as to say that it was a start of a beautiful friendship. in the long run, it made jungkook feel grateful, in a way, that the old house was indeed in such a bad shape since who knows whether he'd be able to spend the entirety of his evenings at the kim residence, playing with the two siblings from the brink of dawn until twilight if it wasn't.

at the end of spring of '87, once jungkook and wonwoo were sitting aimlessly on their porch, jungkook exclaimed that the house must've been built with love and that the 'peculiar' placement of the bricks was purely misjudgment.

"that house was built brick by brick in order to savour the time. maybe even on a day such as this one."

"how do you know that?"

"i don't know for sure but i do know that it was built with love, that's what i'm ninety-nine percent positive about."

x

when taehyung graduated high school, it was predictable that he'd turn to art. he always went on tangents about how art literally poured out of him, out of his fingertips, out of his heart. he liked to say that his heart was a chatterbox. ("it truly is! this heart of mine never seems to shut up while i'm drawing. it's as if it's telling me that art is my true calling and who am i to disregard what my heart says?"

"a moron, that's who.")

on the other hand, jungkook managed to get a scholarship for an engineering program at their local university. unlike taehyung, he didn't have clearly stated plans and goals waiting ahead. he didn't know what he wanted his future to look like. moreover, he didn't excel at anything. sure, he could run fast, not burn the entire house down while cooking and was fairly good at parallel parking but there was never that something, that one specific thing, that he could call his own.

two years later, yerim decided upon the path of engineering as well. in contrast to jungkook however, engineering to her was what art was to taehyung; her own special thing.

during the spring break of the faithful year '92, she had made sure to ask jungkook if he was able to lend her his notes so that she could see what was awaiting her in a mere four months' time. furthermore, every notebook of his was by the same brand as well as in the same colour with the only difference being the sticker at the cover that indicated which course it was. the pages were brittle to the touch, filled out with ink. there were even some spaces where a droplet of some sort of liquid seemed to make its way onto the page and cause the ink to seep further into the paper and around the supposed word, smudging it in the process. perhaps those were the pages upon which jungkook fell asleep, drooling onto the carefully written out notes. perhaps not. 

the only thing that yerim does know, however, is that in between the pages with the carefully drawn-out triangles and cosine rules, a secret was held. a secret in the form of a paper - ripped out from a spiral-bound notebook and slightly crumpled, titled 'jeon jungkook's bucket list'. 

x

she doesn't remember the exact moment she started liking him. perhaps it was when he was the first one to rush back to the house to fetch bandages after she had fallen from a tree he himself had dared her to climb. or maybe it was when he waited for her to finish her classes so that he could walk her home since it was late and taehyung was too hell-bent on waiting two extra hours. it could also be the first time she had laid eyes upon him.

she loved the way his smile made her feel and the way he would look at her when she talked as if he was soaking up everything she had to say. she loved that he listened to her at all times and how he would hum along with her to some random, overplayed pop song that played on the radio. she loved his voice and the way he accentuated every syllable when he talked. loved his accent all the same and how his face would form so many expressions throughout the day.

she wasn't in love with him though.  

she simply admired him.

but now, as they sit in the backyard of the jeon's residence, bathing in the rays of the sun and enjoying the smell of summer, she thinks she could fall in love with him. and it would be so easy to do so.

x

taehyung and wonwoo had long gone inside. apparently, wonwoo needed a helping hand with his architectural project and taehyung wasted no time in providing his services. that left the other two outside, plopping a frozen grape into their mouths from time to time, when the heat was too much to handle. yerim fingers the blades of the grass beneath her as she stares at nothing in particular, being content with the fact that jungkook is right beside her.

and as he spreads a dollop of sunscreen onto his nose, she decides to bring it up.

"the other day," she trails off, bringing her knees to her chest and continuing to lock her gaze onto some random point in the distance - a sparrow leaving its nest and flying high into the sky, leaving nothing but a bittersweet memory behind. "i found something that i don't think i should've. i don't know... you might've even forgotten about it."

"what are you talking about?"

"firstly, i don't want you to think that i'm some kind of a creep who pries on your private information but it truly, honest to god, was in between the pages of your mathematics notebook. i even remember which chapter it was on! trigonometry! yeah... does that ring any bells?"

he looks at her as if a second head has grown out of her very neck "i literally have no idea what you're talking about."

this time she only sighs and decides that it's the best thing to just say it, rip the bandaid off in one go instead of dragging it on.

"it's about your bucket list."

at this, he pales a little. his pupils dilate as his hand raises to toy with the hair on his nape. "ah, that stupid thing... it's nothing, really. just something i did when i was a freshman in college. but i'm completely over it now! i just... don't see the point in bucket lists anymore..." he trails off.

"i don't think that it's stupid," she looks at him directly this time "instead, i think it's fun and a good way to spend your time. you know, going through something that you've never been through... experiencing new things... enjoying life... plus, yours is quite interesting in itself and i've never done most of the things on it either."

she had found herself praying to all astral beings that he cacthes the damn hint that she wants to spend time with him, wants to experience new things with him. wants to enjoy life with him.

but he simply shakes his head "i'm not even into that stuff anymore. seriously, you should just drop it."

"how do you know if you're not into that stuff anymore if you've never even tried it in the first place?" her answer fell on deaf ears as he suddenly seemed so interested in scratching a bug bite located on his calf. however, yerim took that as a signal to continue "i say that we do all five things you jotted down and see where it takes us. unless.." her voice drops an octave lower "unless you're a coward."

"no, i won't do it and i'm not a coward. this is how you make me do stuff all the time! you call me names and i give in because i want to prove myself to you. well, not this time, i'm not falling for it again!"

"come on, please?"

"no." 

"pretty please?"

"yerim, no."

"pretty please with a cherry on top?"

silence.

"hm?"

"i'll think about it..."

and when he does think about it late at night, he is reminded of his past lover: sooyoung. he was never a match to her. he, with a voice too quiet and hands often times too clammy and she, a child at heart and a risk-taker that had a knack for adventures. maybe there was a place, a parallel dimension, in which the two of them could have worked out. alas, it is not this one because they have long parted ways and the usual "it's not you, it's me." was uttered from her side even though jungkook can't help but to think that it's a lie because it was indeed his fault. him and his inability to try out new things in life, to let himself go. again, he was no match for her. while she'd jump out of an aeroplane with nothing but a parachute attached to her back, he'd be on the ground, awaiting for her arrival and somehow ending up more scared. 

in the end, he had agreed, although reluctantly. but regardless of the tone he had used, yerim couldn't have been happier that she had gotten her way yet again.

yerim: one, jungkook: zero

.

a/n: i... i can't believe it's finally out lmao... i hope it's not too rushed and that you guys like how it sounds so far mdfgwebgfj taehyung and wonwoo will mostly serve as side characters and the main focus will be on developing jungkook and yerim's relationship. hopefully it sounds nice thus far aaaaaa i don't know, i guess i'm just scared of what everyone will think because i don't want to let down the people that have subscribed and upvoted. i am really sorry if this but i tried ,djfejkefhkefhkfkeh i'd also like to apologize if there are any spelling and/or grammatical errors because english isn't my first language + i'm really ing stupid. i pray to god that this is bearable and that the characters aren't too annoying for you guys to have a pleasant read.