“Robert J.Whittaker was the one who established 5 kingdoms. Will anyone of you help me name them?”

There was a pause and I have never ducked my head down so swiftly before. Please not me. Please not me. Not me. Not—

“Let’s see. Lee Taemin?” Why do you do this to me? What grudge do you have against me Mrs. Jang? Did I steal your man? Did I steal your Wendy’s? Hell, how do you even steal someone’s wendy’s without getting called out on twitter?  I praised your outfit that day too! Isn’t that enough buttering? Didn’t you decode that message?

It clearly said that ‘Do not question me in class.’

Some teachers just can’t teach and you’re not one of them but there are some students who just can’t study. Maybe, just maybe I am included in that list.

There are three types of students; One, someone who is actually here to study. Two, someone who is here to sleep. Three, someone who is here for Choi Minho.

And unfortunately, I am the third type.

I’d say fortunately but mom, dad, if you’re reading my mind, I am type number 1, clearly.

I am a strong believer of the myth that there is someone out there who can read minds, for sure. I mean how cool it will be if I am able to do that. I’d read Minho’s mind all the time.

“The answer isn’t written on Minho’s face, is it, Taemin?” , I have been caught. I gulp and fake a smile which says that whatever you’ve said isn’t true but Mrs. Jang looks through the façade I’ve put up and eyes me. “Taemin, this is fourth time in a row.” I hear some whistles but I have no idea why they are whistling because doesn’t she mean that fourth time I was asked something and I was as clueless as a newborn baby? Or did she actually count times I looked at Minho.

In the second case I’d like to proudly say that she is wrong because it’s definitely over 4 times.

I hear a choking sound and I whip my head to the right and squint because he is so talented he can even choke on Nitrogen!

The referred man looks over his shoulder after he is done choking out of nowhere and at me with a blank look and I am forced to tear my eyes off him and face Mrs. Jang who is beyond furious at my ignorance. I am not even ignorant. I just…if you look at Choi Minho, you’ll know what I am talking about.

The man’s physique is like that of a Greek god. Sunkissed, well-sculpted, buffed, tall body. Calm brown eyes so gentle yet so penetrating that you’d definitely drown in them if you were to hold his gaze. I mean honestly, drown me daddy. His face is so small yet so masculine. That nose just perfectly sitting on his face and those lips….don’t even get me started on them. The lack of a cupid’s bow makes them look even more appealing and luscious.

I unconsciously pout, pooling my left cheek on the heel of my palm as I heave out a longing sigh.

“Lee Taemin!” A slam on my desk and I am jolted awake to hear my classmates giggling. I blink at the angry woman and begin voicing out whatever I caught on.

“Animalia….Plantae, um….Fungi! Uh and….” I look around as if I might find answers floating around the atmosphere but I have no luck and so I end up halting at that because I can’t remember more than that. Mrs. Jang looks ready to murder me so I in my bottom lip and stare innocently, not forgetting to arch my eyebrows up because this look, whatever it is, always works on everyone.

I am surprised when I see her gaze soften and she gives me a minuscule shake of head. “Monera and Protista or Protoctista.” I immediately form an O with my mouth and nod, smiling.

Wow, so it really does work. I should use this on Choi Minho too.

I briefly look at the man of my dreams and he is giggling behind the back of his hand. I scrunch my face, knowing for sure that he is laughing at me! Be grateful that I have a crush on you or I wouldn’t hesitate to carve that smile on your face permanently with a dagger.

His face suddenly grows dark, looking over at me with a furrowed expression and I quickly look away. Why is he constantly looking back at me?? Is he in love with me? I bite on the back of my pen and steal another glance. This time he isn’t staring back but his attention seems to be back on Mrs. Jang.

That’s sad.

I liked how he kept stealing glances.

I glance back at him and what do I see! His ears suddenly turn red and I halt chewing on my pen and blink fast, bedazzled. Oh my God! Is he sick?! Panic diffuses in my body and I shift uncomfortably in my seat, now with my face slammed against the desk.

Should I ask him after class?

Or not?

I internally scream out of frustration and hoist my head up, propping my chin over the desk and send him a concerned look because he flinches and has an index shoved inside his ear. Maybe his ears hurt? But how can he still look so hot while his ears are hurting??

Look at that uniform hugging his bulky frame. I catch myself drool, hoping Jongin hasn’t picked up on my daydreaming and is too engrossed in Mrs. Jang’s lecture but I suspire again because the ear pain seems to be getting worse by the way he is turning scarlet in the face.

What to do??

Think!

At that very moment, the bell rings and guess what that means? I can go up to him and ask him if he’s okay.

 In my dreams.

How I wish I had that confidence. I sigh an agitated one.

He is already getting up and pain was so unbearable that he dashed for the door, leaving his friend calling for him. I should go after him right? I dump my stuff in my bag and make a cut for the door but I am pulled back with such force I get shoved into the person who induced it by getting hold of my bag.

“Where do you think you’re running?” I look back and frown at Jongin’s vexation shaded face.

“Where do you think, Jongin?” He rolls his eyes as if he knows what I am talking about which I am sure he does because he knows how crazy I am for this handsome man.

Jongin reminds me of that supporting character in every anime, who is so cold the main character has to be super hot to balance out the coldness. In that case, I guess I fit perfectly in the role. Because guess who’s hot as ? Me.

Because it’s summer, that is.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not ugly. I am just very….soft-looking. Hot is….someone who has sharp manly features. Wait then how are girls supposed to be hot? Nevermind, my meaning for hot is clearly wrong so just google it. What I know for sure is, Choi Minho is steaming, sizzling hot.

I bet I can cook stuff on his abs.

When I am out of the class, I look around and it looks like he disappeared. My man can teleport too? Just what can’t he do?

.

That is what he can’t do. Because then what will I do?

It is recess and I am wandering aimlessly because Jongin was dumb enough to think that I’ll find him on my own and just see-yaed me. He really thinks I am capable of finding my way out if I were to be get lost in a maze? I will probably end up crying. But maybe he leaves me alone so if I find Minho, he doesn’t have to loiter around and wait till I’m done him off.

Maybe he feels ashamed. And left out.

I can have a , you say? No I can’t. I’d just like to have twosome with this handsome man named Choi Minho. Rest can burn in hell. I’ll join them later.

I am a and would like to keep my purity till my wedding night with Choi Minho.

Honestly, I am too shy to even say Hi to him because what if he suddenly finds me hot, then I’ll have to give him a but I am very inexperienced in that field. This is how relationships nowadays work right? feelings. Just till you fall in love.

But no, I am not gonna do that.

But for that to happen, I need to find him and I’ve been looking everywhere but he is nowhere. Did he actually teleport? Oh, I know just where he teleported to..

Gymnasium!

My man likes to work out or do sports. How else do you think you get those chiseled abs? How else do you think you become that smoking hot? Okay maybe not. Jongin works out too but I don’t find him hot. Yeah, he is my friend but he’s not a hot friend. And you can’t have a hot friend and not fall in love. Duh. Hence proven by this BODMAS rule that Kim Jongin isn’t my cup of tea.

Not because I don’t like tea but because he isn’t tea. Or a cup.

What.

I push into the gymnasium and right away I am welcomed with musky scents of all kinds and shapes and species of people working out and practicing sports. I scan the spacious expanse of the frozen to death  airconditioned place and right away my eyes catch Jongin’s sweaty face as he smashes the pingpong ball to the opponent.

I am sorry God but this is not Choi Minho.

Oh wait.

Oh.

Wait.

Why is he playing with Choi Minho?!

 My eyebrow twitches and I march forth, almost running into Kris’s stretched front but I am skilful and talented so I dodge just in time and he looks back at me with a weird expression which I decipher to be watch where you’re going but I look back with an expression which screams that my existence isn’t the size of your , maybe you should watch where you’re going. And that’s how world war III began.

Just kidding.

He scoffs and ignores his way out of the gymnasium and I am thinking, what the did Jongin betray me for? Then I realized the answer being Choi Minho and I go oh I see in my head because if I was him, I’d do the same.

But that means that he has a crush on him too and that is impossible because Jongin says he doesn’t want another , it makes him gag. To which I ask him to not take the that deep in his throat and he just stares while I am a laughing mess and he’s a betrayed mess and he is probably done murdering me 1000 different ways in his head.

In the end he just rolls his eyes and I still don’t apologise or tell him I’m joking because honestly, if you have to apologise or say that you were joking to a friend then are they really your friend??

As for right now, I do contemplate my life decisions because Jongin is clearly a threat and he doesn’t even stop playing when he notices my existence. I have my arms crossed against my chest and I am doing this tapping thing with my feet. First, I do it slowly, lightly but when he doesn’t respond, the tapping gets urgent and loud and I am puffing my cheeks but he doesn’t want to look! By the end, I walk on and grab the pingpong ball midway through it getting to Jongin’s side and then he looks up with a sweaty, breathless, lost face.

I give him the look.

A look where you smile so sweetly that lowkey you’re hoping to give them diabetes. Jongin catches right on and purses his lips, trying not to laugh. Actually, it’s not even a smile, it’s a smirk.

He is smirking.

He thinks I am a joke.

“Uh…” I hear on the other end of my loud thoughts because thankfully only I can hear Jongin scream in my head while I stab him multiple times.

I turn to the source of the sound and almost skip a gazillion beats.

Choi.

Minho.

Take me right here. On this table. Please.

Why is he redder than Jongin though? Maybe he is well hydrated. Of course, I have watched him drink up so many times.

…..

That sounds creepy doesn’t it?

Doesn’t matter, It’s in my head. He doesn’t know.

I am fluttering my eyes away before he goes any redder because why is he getting redder after they’ve stopped playing?? Wait. Could it be the ear pain?

“Taemin, what do you want?” Jongin is saying and I am shushing him in my head because I need to think quick. He needs me. I am not a doctor but he needs me for sure.

What to do. What to do. What to do.

“Taemin?”

“Will you shut up?!” Oops. That was supposed to be in my head, dammit. I quickly compose myself and smile.

“Can I…join?” Minho looks amused. Excuse me?! You think I can’t play??

“No..that’s not it.” He looks stoned. Who do you think will teach our kids to play when you’re out to work?

Wait did he just….

“Minho, is it in the bag’s front pocket?!!”

“NO! No it…isn’t.” I peer back and see a random man looking through his bag and I turn my eyes back at him and he looks all jittery. Did he actually… “You can…join.”

Oh my God!

I fix my eyes on Jongin and he looks slightly weirded out too, see! I am not wrong! Did he just read my mind??? Wait but why is Jongin weirded out too? Can he read minds too? No way, he’d have stopped being my friend if he did.

Can you read my mind?

Hello???

Minho hyung?

I lock my eyes with him and he visibly gulps and tries to turn back to playing. “You can join.” He repeats, picking the racket back up and I am squinting at his back at this point and although this time Jongin looks crept out by me, I don’t stop.

Can you actually read my mind?

Why did you stop reacting??

Wait…have you been reading my mind this whole while………

I try to look at his facial expression with my head bobbed up at him. Heh?! Am I hallucinating?

He inches back when I get too close and I instinctively inch back too because I get surprised by his surprised look. His eyes went wide and his eyebrows lift and he looks so cute!

Wait no.

Taemin. Control yourself.

If he can read your mind, he has been reading everything.

“Nevermind, you both play. I’ll watch.” Who is this and what did he do to Taemin? Why am I actually talking to him?? How am I talking to him without feeling even a least bit shy?

I walk past a still pretty much confused Jongin and grab the back of his shirt, bring him down to whisper into his back.

“I think he can read my mind.” I hear a cackle and I kick my foot into Jongin’s heel, successfully inducing a wince. Now you think I am being funny, Kim Jongin? He shortly looks back.

“You’re out of your mind.” Jongin replies, shrugging my arm off him. I inch back up and whisper angrily.

“He is out of his mind and in mine. I know he can! I will prove it!”

“Sure.”

Don’t ing sure me you un-hot friend. I’ll sure you if you’re dying and you tell me that you want water. Let’s see how you’ll feel then.

But if he can read my mind, he probably knows my plan too. Dammit. I sit crosslegged on the slippery marble floor of the gymnasium and watch as they begin playing again. But what if he can actually read my mind? I go red thinking of it, bringing my crossed legs to my chest and bury my face in it.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I shake my head, hoping to shake some sense back in my head but everything screams that he indeed has been reading my mind.

When I screamed in my head, he flinched!

I study his face through the little space which I allowed to look at him and he doesn’t look panic-stricken. Maybe if I try screaming in my head again.

1, 2, 3……

No reaction.

Um, what? Hey did you block my thoughts out? I tilt my head and press my cheek against the knees and pout. He probably thinks I am annoying. Choi Minho! Am I annoying? I wait for a reaction but he looks so absorbed in the game, he doesn’t even flinch when I scream multiple times. If my mind had a throat, I am pretty sure it would have gone sore by now.

“Ah !” That’s right Jongin. That’s what you are. You can’t win when you’re up against Minho. I mean what were you thinking? “One more?” No no. You really like losing huh? Is that your kink?

Minho chuckles, giving me a brief look and I stiffen up.

So……why are you looking at me if you can’t read my mind? Am I cute? I mean why am I asking obvious questions, of course I am. Even if I have purple hair which look like I am an onion head, I know I am cute. Because at least they don’t smell like Onion like Adrian’s hair does. I once tried sniffing myself but I have no idea what kind of scent do I have.

I even asked Jongin once but he looked like I had asked him to me, which is, first, never happening, second, impossible so he had no reasons to overact.

“Hold up, hold up. I need water.” Minho excuses himself. I chew on my bottomlip out of habit and straighten up, now my legs stretched before me, one over the other. Leaning back into the palms I had pressed against the marble floor, I see Jongin coming towards me and I give him a look which says what and he just titters while he downs water. And I again give him a look which asks him if he has seen his face but then he squats down and whispers.

“What are you thinking?” What kind of question is that? I draw in my eyebrows and tilt my head to a side, letting the purple bangs get swept to one side.

“What?”

“He is laughing out of nowhere.” What? I sit erect and throw a look at him. Wait that sounds wrong. I sit up straight and try to look at him and indeed his back is shaking as he drinks water, which means he must be laughing! “What were you thinking about?” I don’t remember?

I am sorry Jongin, I don’t have a mind-blog, I can’t, you know, hold up let me back read. Common sense is uncommon in common people. In that case I am not a common person and I appreciate that because if I am to not have common sense, I’d rather be not common.

Makes no sense if said out loud but it surely makes sense in my head. Bonus, it even sounds funny.

“Nothing? I was watching you guys play.” At this he gives me the face he makes when he knows I am lying but I don’t even know what I was thinking about so like? I don’t know? “Really.” I assure him and he shakes his head halfway through getting up and holds out his racket to me.

“Go play.”

W to the h to the a to the t?

I am sorry?

I was joking when I said I knew how to play, God. I am sorry, I won’t lie from now on. I take it back.

I quickly get up and lean in to whisper hurriedly. “I don’t know how to play. The .” He insists, handing the racket in my hand.

“I have to see something, go.” No. That something better not be me losing. Because I know how badly you want to see that. And also me getting humiliated by my own crush. That’s embarrassing. God at times like this, I wish people had a 30 seconds trailer so I could see what I was getting myself into. In Minho’s case, I want it to be at least a day long just because.

I take the racket from him with a pair of unsure, unskilled, loser-for-sure hands and stand awkwardly on one side of the table. When Choi Minho finally turns, he looks taken aback.

“Y-you’re playing?” No. I took this racket to kill the mosquitoes here.

I know we’re not dumb but why do we ask such stupid questions when we are shocked? Minho hyung isn’t dumb, maybe he got shocked by my radiant beauty. Yes. That must be it.

That should be it.

“Ah…yeah, I don’t want to play but Jongin... I’m..not good too. So….go easy on me?” Why did I sound like I am sprawled on our wedding night bed and I am begging for this Alpha to ravish my body but at the same time go easy on me?

Why.

Is.

He.

Red??

Did I..did he…can he…what? Why are you leaving me on seen if you can read my mind?? Oh my God if you actually can, this is going to be so awkward.

Going to be? It’s already awkward. In that case, don’t go easy on me, I’d like it rough. I think shamelessly to get a reaction and…

“L-let’s play?” He is stuttering. If you stutter on our wedding night, I’ll kill you. His face loses colour and I hold the racket tighter. Hi?? God, what is this suspense? Why don’t you give in so I run away and die of embarrassment knowing you’ve been reading everything I am thinking about??

Are you the kind who leaves people on seen? That’s so rude and disrespectful. You better not leave me on seen even if you’re in a meeting in the future, you’d want your to shove in me.

But if he can’t read my mind then, is he nervous? Nervousness means that he must like me right? Who am I kidding? I am losing my mind. I should really stop reading mind-reading fanfictions.

He tosses the ball at me and it shoots past me, me dumbly whacking my racket at the air and hitting the air. You play table tennis? I play air tennis. Without ball. Just racket and me. Sometimes I accidentally hit the pingpong ball, that’s a fault by the way. I avoid the fault, so I never hit the pingpong ball.

Please try to understand that I .

“Minho!” Someone comes running and I hope you trip on your way so you don’t get to interrupt our table tennis date but unfortunately we wizards aren’t allowed to use magic outside Hogwarts so I stop myself just in time with the spell and the girl doesn’t trip. “Oh you’re already playing with someone?” No, we are whacking air because we are that pathetic.

And but excuse me? I am not someone. I am the mother to 2 of Minho’s future kids. Maybe even 3. I haven’t asked him because he keeps leaving my thoughts on seen. Show some damn respect you .

“He doesn’t want to play so...” He turns to me and questions. “Right?” When did I say that? “I am actually teaching her how to play for an upcoming contest so if you don’t mind…” I mind. Teach me instead. I am cuter.

I stand stupidly and thank goodness Jongin is here to stare while I am in crisis.

Why do I have such a horrible friend? Can’t he sense the tension. I wish it was ual, between me and Minho but it’s not and this girl is like a massive -blocker although there is no but but so I place the racket on the table and sure my way out.

Jongin is laughing.

I should stop him from carrying around an invisible mirror but then it’s Kim Jongin and the man is the type to laugh at his own jokes because he thinks it’s so funny. Never have I ever told him that he is the joke because I am a good friend.




I know I am an askhole when it comes to advice because I seem to love getting advices but never act on them but you see, if your advice is dumb and God gave me a brain, you still expect me to adapt to it? No? That’s what Jongin always whines about, like he is right now.

“You should’ve stayed.”

“Oh yeah by saying I am thirsty so please let me play with you.” 100% humans have brain but if you deduct Jongin from the statistics, that would make it 99%. I swear sometimes he makes me feel like I am the smartest Homo sapien on Earth but then I see humans like Baekhyun and other toppers and I breathe out deeply because thank God I am not a book worm. Also, shouldn’t topper be an insult for Baekhyun? He is a bottom. What kind of statistics is he included in?

“You don’t understand. He was indeed acting pretty out of character. As if he could hear something no one else can.” Are my thoughts that weird?

“Jongin!”

“Sorry ma’am.”

Oh right, how did I forget that we are in Math class and I still till this very day wonder why hasn’t it died if it had so many problems. I can’t seem to sit properly because, first, the thought that my seatmate slash crush slash future-husband can read my mind and second, math isn’t fun. Numbers numbers numbers. The only number I care about is Minho’s. No, not the size of his , the . But his mobile number. Or his mom’s mobile number. Or his dog’s leash size.

I scribble angrily on my notebook and sigh my way into pressing my forehead against the desk. I don’t even know if he has a dog or not. We’ll have to buy the leash then. I am a very domestic person, I diy things. So I was wondering if we could diy my leash, you know?

But I guess, since he doesn’t have a dog, we’ll have to buy it.

I hear a choke and I look to my right to see Minho hiding his red, choked by water, face in a palm. I blink once, twice, thrice, till I am too shocked to comprehend what just happened. And just like that, I am sure as that he can read my mind.





“Cover him, cover him, cover him!!” Minho has the ball in his hands and he is surrounded by three of their players waiting to steal the ball from him but he looks at the bucket with a determined face and makes a cut through the opening and I jump from my seat, anticipating the goal with a hung open mouth and clasped hands.  

It’s like everything slows down when he is going for the high, impossibly high jump to score a 3-pointer. His shirt rises with him, exposing his tanned, toned, worth drooling over abs and I close my eyes because, 1. He is almost there and 2. I might get pregnant if I look for too long-

He trips over nothing and falls face first on the basketball court floor.

Ouch. I flinch, feeling embarrassed for him and myself.

You should have inboxzoned me….?




“Crossing over takes place during meiosis, one of the reasons of variations within a specie-“ He is so smart. Why do we belong to two different ends of a spectrum? I didn’t even prepare the presentation. Hell, I didn’t even know if we had it in biology or chemistry. Why am I such a failure? Look at him talk confidently and oh my God that smile he gives every now and then.

But I shall punish him for leaving my thoughts on seen if he really can read my mind, which I am sure he can!

I learnt this technique from someone the other day, no it isn’t the devil, but it says that if your friend is talking to the teacher or anyone and if you whisper into their ear, repeatedly, chances are they will end up saying whatever you’ve been saying.

What a good bait.

I clasp my hands together and prop my chin over the fist I made, thinking of what I should say to prove to everyone that my crush is a mind reader. Wait, but for that, I need to make someone a witness. I promptly tear a piece from the backside of my notebook and scribble something, shoving it into Jongin’s lap.

“What?” He gives me a furrowed pair of eyebrows and I just wear the smuggest, evilest, I don’t know if that’s a word, smile and close my eyes.

I realized that you can, for sure read minds, or maybe it’s just my mind. Though I am not sure why or if I am an angel or a devil, I’ll still try because trying never hurts right? So if your presentation is about Meiosis and meiosis involves sister chromatids, why don’t you say brother chromatids instead? I mean, you’re a guy right? Isn’t it feminism? I know you don’t hate feminists but don’t you think science is unfair? Come on, it’s not sister chromatids. It’s Brother chromatids.

They are buddies. Yo what’s up, man? That’s how they greet each other. Not Oh my God did you see Susan’s dress last night?

Be a man. If you’re a man. If you’re not then.

In case you don’t know what you’re supposed to say, it’s:

Brother chromatids.

Brother chromatids.

Brother chromatids.

Brother chromatids.

Brother chromatids.

Brother chromatids.

Say it.

I know you can hear me.

Choi Min-

“Since brother chromatids-“ I shoot my eyes open, the smirk now disappeared just like my self-confidence. I feel Jongin’s temperature drop to the core of the Earth and although I can’t think right at this point. I feel myself go pink, then red, then redder and I’m hiding my face behind my notebook but still holding the stare with Choi Minho. Who, by the way hasn’t stopped speaking after correcting himself, maintaining the fluency alongside maintaining the stare.

I am sorry I was a handful but…that’s why God gave you 2 hands right?

And he has the guts to ing smile the same I am your future smile!

Hello everyone, welcome to my funeral.