You're better than the best

I'm lucky just to linger in your light

Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right

Completely unaware

Nothing can compare to where you send me



--

Kyungsoo would have flipped the bird if only he still had more s to give. But no, he's too tired and too busy to give a about what Baekhyun, his roommate (and self-declared best friend) is blabbering about right now.

 

"...would be really happy if you come with me, please Soo?"

 

Silence.

 

"Soo?"

 

Nope.

 

"Do Kyungsoo?"

 

He felt the swivel chair he's sitting on nudging a little.

 

"Kyunggieee~~~"

 

"... tank with 100mL of distilled..." he muttered while typing on the keyboard of his laptop, eyes never leaving its screen.

 

"Kyungsoo-yah."

 

"...samples were collected from four different sites..."

 

More nudging. But no. Kyungsoo will definitely not budge. Not when his life depends on this paper.

 

"Hey..."

 

No.

 

"Kyungsoo!" More violent shaking.

Ignore him! Ignore!

 

And just when he thought the other already gave up because a minute passed  by without any words, arms suddenly engulfed his shoulders and a tuft of brown curly hair tickled his right cheek.

 

Typical Baekhyun.

 

Instead of being surprised though, Kyungsoo nonchalantly pushed the pouting face away that blocked his view without batting an eyelash. The younger is far too used to Baekhyun's antics by now.

 

Although not really listening to what the other was talking about earlier, Kyungsoo has some inkling on what the topic must be. That's why he's more unenthusiastic than normal to listen.

 

Must be that stupid Chansoo ship of his again.

 

Kyungsoo has no physical energy left on him so he just rolled his eyes mentally. (Yes he could do that.)

 

Chansoo.

 

He scoffed at the thought.

 

Baekhyun has this ridiculous obsession of pairing him up with Chanyeol, the lead guitarist of their school’s band Vivace, and also the titleholder of being Baekhyun’s number one best friend.

 

Yes, you’ve got it right, Kyungsoo’s number two.

Okay, so yes, he had a teeny tiny little crush on Chanyeol, three years ago. Get it? Three years ago, for goodness sake! They were first years when Baekhyun introduced him to the band. Kyungsoo had the mistake of blurting out that the guy in red was really cute.

 

And so, the birth of Chansoo. And the rest was history. Baekhyun inducted himself as the president of the club, of which he’s also the only member, really.

 

It made Kyungsoo giddy at the start because Chanyeol noticed him because of that! But eventually, as the two of them became closer (courtesy of course, by their ship’s founder), the infatuation fades. Don't get him wrong though. Chanyeol's a nice guy. Funny, adorable, and an annoying piece of like Baekhyun.

 

He realized that Chanyeol would just remain as the best punching bag he could ever ask for when he's really stressed and he can't resist the urge to punch someone (especially if that someone is annoying the hell out of him). Baekhyun would always squeal on the side when he's seeing these sweet Chansoo interactions until Kyungsoo would punch him too. And yes, Baekhyun’s got the second spot for being the world’s best punching bag.

 

Luckily, Chanyeol knows not to take Baekhyun’s antics seriously, so there never was an awkward atmosphere between them. Although the taller would also not let a day pass without reminding Kyungsoo of his stupid little crush on him once upon a time.

Had Kyungsoo already mentioned how Chanyeol and Baekhyun are so alike? He really does not know how did he tolerate the two for the past years.

For the record, he already made it clear that it was just a little infatuation, a crush-at-first-sight, he would say, and that he's already over it. So over it. He's moved on. Chanyeol moved on. Lee Minho and Suzy moved on. Angelina and Brad moved on.

 

But not Baekhyun, oh no. He's insistent that one day, his Chansoo ship will eventually sail. And he's not wasting a day to tell Kyungsoo that. He kept on assuring Kyungsoo that he will help him and Chanyeol fall in love with each other. In turn, Kyungsoo kept on assuring Baekhyun that it will not happen. Ever.

 

Because, number one, again, he's not remotely interested in Chanyeol in that way anymore. And, number two, Chanyeol, well, Chanyeol likes someone else. And Kyungsoo has no idea how that particular someone couldn't or wouldn't notice it when basically everyone around them can sense it.

 

Chansoo? More like Chanbaek, really.

 

Chanyeol kept on pleading him to not tell Baekhyun though.

 

Oh well, dumb and dumber. They really are compatible. Kyungsoo would always think.

 

"Yah!"

 

He was brought back to reality with that defeated whine. He can't help but smirk. He knows Baekhyun will eventually give up. He always does. But will restart after recharging though.

 

"Baekhyun-ah, can't you just... I don't know, do something productive?" he muttered lowly.

 

"I'm done with all my requirements!" came the enthusiastic reply.

 

"Good for you. Now, leave me alone."

 

"Kyungsoooooo, won’t you come with me, please?"

 

--

 

“He wouldn’t come with me!”

 

Chanyeol chuckled upon hearing Baekhyun’s whine on the other end of the line. He could almost imagine the pout of the smaller. With a silly smile, he scratched a line on the paper he is writing on and then draw mini hearts on it. He could always go back to finishing the lyrics of his song later. It can wait, Baekhyun can’t. Besides, he’s been working on it for hours (days) now but can’t seem to finish it. All that he accomplished was messing up his room with crumpled papers everywhere. Minseok, his roommate, would kill him for sure.

 

He was so close on pulling his hairs out because of frustration when luckily, the sunshine (don’t call him cheesy) of his life suddenly called him up. Baekhyun always seems to know when Chanyeol needed him the most. Just hearing his voice is enough to recharge his mood.

 

“Because you annoyed him again, Baekhyunnie,” he grinned while absent-mindedly continuing his doodles, phone tucked between his ears and shoulder.

 

He could hear Baekhyun huffing. “I did not! I asked him nicely!”

 

“While he’s doing his thesis, right?”

 

Then there was silence.

 

Chanyeol can’t help but laugh this time. “Baek, don’t ever disturb a studying Kyungsoo, that’s rule number one, we both know that, right? You, of all people?” He is now writing different variations of “BBH” on the page he’s working on.

 

“Whatever. He is so mean.”

 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Chanyeol chuckled. “Besides, why are you so adamant on bringing Kyungsoo home? Would you introduce him to your parents?”

 

“Oh hush, don’t be jealous Park. I won’t steal him from you.”

Chanyeol’s smile faded a little. Idiot. I’m jealous of Kyungsoo, not you.

 

“…actually, I’m thinking of introducing him to Mrs. Park since you won’t do it.”

 

Chanyeol stopped doodling at that sentence. His forehead furrowed on what he heard.

 

“My mom?”

 

Baekhyun hummed as a response.

 

“Why?” Chanyeol’s not liking where this is heading, not a bit. Knowing Baekhyun –

 

“Uhm, I may or may not have promised your Mom that I would introduce Kyungsoo to her!”

 

“On your birthday?” Chanyeol whispered with dread.

 

He is actually planning on confessing to Baekhyun on the latter’s birthday. It’s been a long time coming and he can’t delay it further. But apparently, the love of his life has other plans on that day.

 

“Yes Chanyeollie. You know I always spend my birthdays on your mom’s restaurant, so I guess it’s perfect timing.” Then Baekhyun giggled. Giggled. The audacity.

 

Chanyeol set down the pen he’s holding and dropped his forehead on the table. Frustration overtook his senses again, now for a completely different reason. “Why would you even introduce them?” he mumbled on his phone, not really wanting to hear the response.

 

“Oh, you know, I just, uhm – “ Chanyeol could hear the hesitancy on Baekhyun’s voice.

 

“Byun Baekhyun.”

 

“Okay! Okay! Your mom was asking me if your dating anyone and I said –“

 

“You told her about Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol asked with a sharp tone.

 

“Yes?” Baekhyun squeaked.

 

It’s like something exploded on Chanyeol’s head.

 

  this .

 

“I’m not dating Kyungsoo, Baek! How many times do we have to tell you that it’s not gonna happen! I’m not even interested with him, not in that way!” he half shouted on the emptiness of his dorm room, he didn’t even notice that he’s now standing up.

 

So that’s why his mom kept on asking him if he has anyone to introduce, someone cute and adorable and - oh god. He thought she was pertaining to Baekhyun, but then again, she knew Baekhyun since they were babies in diapers.

 

“Jeez, calm down Chanyeollie. And why aren’t you even interested on my dear Kyungsoo, it’s been what, three years?”

 

Because he’s not you! He desperately wants to shout back, but not right now.

 

“Exactly Baek, three years, and you should know by now that we’re not interested on each other.”

 

“Kyungsoo likes you!”

 

Oh here they go again, back to square one, back to the Chansoo ship Chanyeol doesn’t even know why Baekhyun so interested at.

 

“That was, again, three years ago! Do you know how Kyungsoo likes me now? He likes me battered up with his punches!”

 

“That was just Kyungsoo being sweet to you.”

 

Chanyeol felt like crying now. His best friend, who he’s inlove with, for maybe half his life, strongly believes that he’s better off with another guy. And then his mom must probably be announcing the news of him having a boyfriend named Kyungsoo on their neighborhood (which happens to include the Byun’s household as well) by now.

 

And Kyungsoo would surely punch him once he discovers, for real.

 

Great.

 

Chanyeol flopped face down on his bed, without letting go of his phone. “I don’t know what to do with you Baek,” he grumbled, frustrated.

 

“Oh come on, don’t be so dramatic Yeol. I’ll take care of Mrs. Park.”

 

  How about me? My poor heart –

 

Chanyeol huffed. He had enough for now.

 

“You know what? I won’t go home on your birthday as well. Maybe I should stay here with Kyungsoo instead. You’ll like it right?”

 

“What!?” came the outraged shout of Baekhyun through the speaker.

 

“I’m really tired. I’ll drop the call now.”

 

“Wait Chan-“

 

And with that, Chanyeol ended the call. He grabbed his pillow and buried his head underneath it. “What the , Byun Baekhyun.”

 

---

 

  “Maybe I should stay here with Kyungsoo instead. You’ll like it right?”

 

No, he does not like the sound of it. Not even a bit. And he doesn’t understand why.

 

Baekhyun cannot comprehend why those words from Chanyeol hit him hard. His stomach seemed to twist because of some nasty feeling he can’t place.

 

  No. Not again. I’m so over it, so over that feeling of - no! Stop it Byun Baekhyun.

 

He convinced himself that it’s just because he’s feeling bad knowing Chanyeol’s probably angry at him right now, for the first time.

 

The two of them have been best friends since forever. They grew up on the same neighborhood, went to the same class until senior high, and even went to the same university. Even if their majors are different, the two of them were still inseparable.

Nothing would ever keep them apart, nothing. Not even Baekhyun’s little confession back in middle school affected their friendship.

 

“Why does it look like Chanyeol dumped you?”

 

Baekhyun pouted upon hearing Kyungsoo’s words.

 

“Why would he dump me?” he asked without looking up, still trying to call back Chanyeol who did not pick up for the third time already. Frustrated, he tried messaging instead.

 

[8:44 PM]

 

YEOL! R u mad?

 

PICK UP!

 

YAH

 

T_T

 

He felt Kyungsoo dropped beside him on his bed and peeked at his phone.

 

“Oooh, trouble in paradise, I see,” the younger teased.

 

Baekhyun stopped midway on spamming his snob of a best friend to look at his roommate. “Can’t you just, I don’t know, do something productive?” he threw back the other’s earlier words.

 

Kyungsoo smiled up at him mockingly. “Oh, I’ve done enough for tonight. Besides, this is productive, watching you troubled.”

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes before going back to his phone. His messages remains unread.

 

[8:45 PM]

 

Hey at least reply!

 

Whats ur problem?

 

YEOL!

 

PARK CHANYEOL

 

I HATE U. TALK TO ME.

 

OK. I LOVE U. OK. TALK TO ME.

 

IM SORRY. T_T

 

I DONT EVEN KNO WHAT IM SORRY 4???

 

Ok fine. I KNOW.

 

Wont interfere on your luv lyf anymor u stinky .

 

I wont introduce kyung to auntie then.

 

 

 

“Hey, what do you mean by that?” Kyungsoo punched his shoulder lightly. Apparently he’s still reading the messages he’s been speed typing.

 

“None of your business,” he absent-mindedly answered.

 

[8:46 PM]

 

U will be on my bday

 

Right????!!!

 

Chanheol T_T

 

“That’s my name! Why is it not my business?”

 

“You’re not the only Kyung in the world.”

 

“Baekhyun.”

 

Chill went down on Baekhyun’s spine with that tone.

 

He let go of his phone and decided to come clean on Kyungsoo about his plans.

 

“Okay fine, I was actually planning on introducing you to Mrs Park as Yeol’s boyfriend –“

 

Of course it did not sit well with Kyungsoo. He flinched when the guy made an attempt to smack him on the forehead. Luckily his reflex was much faster and he grabbed his pillow for defense.

 

When he set it down, Kyungsoo was looking at him with a frown.

 

“Chanyeol’s not my boyfriend.”

 

Baekhyun smiled. “Future boyfriend?”

 

“No. I told you it will not happen Baek, can you not see it? We’re just friends.”

 

Oh here they go again. First Chanyeol, and now –

 

“Kyungsoooo, can we not go into this argument right now?”

 

“No, not until I drilled into your head that Chanyeol and I, it’s not gonna happen.”

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes in frustration. “Okay fine, fine. You  do not like each other. Now leave me alone, I need to text this idiot, he won’t talk to me!” He whined and then continued typing on his phone.

 

Kyungsoo sighed deeply while looking at his troubled friend.

 

  You’re the idiot one.

 

He laid down on Baekhyun’s bed instead and choose not to speak anymore since he can feel that the other is really agitated now. But then, after a few minutes of Baekhyun mumbling “stupid giant idiot talk to me I’m unfriending you snob son of a bleep”, Kyungsoo tried again.

 

“Baekhyun,” he called.

 

“What?” Baekhyun asked without looking at him.

 

”Can I ask you something?”

 

“What?”

 

“Why do you ship us so much?”

 

Baekhyun snorted. “Because you two are meant for each other,” he answered without much thinking.

 

“How could you say that?”

 

Baekhyun froze for a moment and then look back at Kyungsoo. “I don’t know,” he shrugged, “I guess, I just want my best friends be happy.”

 

Kyungsoo’s the one who snorted this time. “Then why don’t you ship him with others? And then ship me with, I don’t know, maybe Jongin?”

 

Baekhyun’s mouth hang open at that. “Are you kidding me? You  wanted to be shipped with my ex-boyfriend?”

 

Jongin has been Baekhyun’s “boyfriend” three years ago. But they lasted for almost two months only. They’re still friends though, since Jongin is also Chanyeol’s bandmate.

 

“What? He’s cute,” shrugged Kyungsoo.

 

“You like Jongin?” asked Baekhyun incredulously, totally forgetting the phone he’s holding.

 

Kyungsoo lifted himself up and sit again beside Baekhyun. “Not the point, Baek. What I’m trying to say is that if you just want me and Chanyeol to be happy and be in a relationship, it could be with anyone, right?”

 

Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t know where you’re heading at.”

 

“I don’t know, don’t you want Chanyeol be Jisoo’s boyfriend? Or Yuri’s or Daehyun or –“

 

“Stop-“ Baekhyun held up his hand in front of Kyungsoo’s face that the other quickly swatted away. “Why should I ship him with the others when you’re here,” he stated like a matter of fact.

 

“Exactly my question too, Byun, why am I the only one being shipped with Chanyeol when you could clearly be his wingman with a lot of boys and girls clearly interested on him.”

 

Baekhyun frowned. “What –“

 

“I’ll answer that one, don’t waste your brain cells,” he smirked and continue without so much as flinching with Baekhyun’s pillow hit on his arm. “Because you know I won’t like Chanyeol that way, and so it is safe to tease us with each other. Because you know for yourself that it will never happen.”

 

No.

 

Baekhyun panicked. What is Kyungsoo saying? It doesn’t make sense –

 

“Wanna know my theory?” Kyungsoo continued, grinning mysteriously.

 

“Theory?” he can’t help but asked.

 

“You like Chanyeol.”

 

Baekhyun frowned at this. Of course he likes Chanyeol. “Of course I do,” he voiced out.

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “No… no… not that kind of like, I’m talking about like… as in you like him… you know, how you would like us to like each other.”

 

Shut up. NO.

 

“That’s too much like in a sentence, Kyungsoo, I cannot follow you,” he tried to divert the topic.

 

“You like him, idiot! You like him more than a friend!”

 

Baekhyun completely froze at that for a moment, then he laughed out loud while slapping Kyungsoo on his shoulder, a habit that he got from Chanyeol. “I… I don’t know you can be this ridiculous Soo… stop joking.”

 

Kyungsoo remained poker-face though. “Well, I promise you, you will know when am I joking Byun, and now’s definitely not one of those moments.”

 

Oh . Nope.

 

Baekhyun stopped laughing immediately. He took a deep breath before speaking.

 

“No, I don’t like Chanyeol that way, how could you say that?”

 

“Well, I’m thinking that you’re pushing Chanyeol away because you’re too scared with your feelings. But then, at the same time, you don’t want him to be with someone else, so you’re insisting him to be with me instead. At least this way, you still –“

 

“Sshhh! Shut it Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun covered Kyungsoo’s mouth. “Stop blabbering non-sense.”

 

Baekhyun’s afraid. He’s too afraid to open the Pandora’s box.

 

Kyungsoo swatted his hand away. “I’m totally right Byun, I can feel it, however much you deny it,” he smirked.

 

“Ha-ha. Totally not funny, Soo. Not funny at all,” he laughed nervously.

 

“Aish. What I’m trying to say is… okay so let me ask you a question. How would you feel if, hypothetically, we got together finally –“ Baekhyun grinned at this “- I said hypothetically! Idiot stop grinning. Now let’s say we’re boyfriends, how would you feel?”

 

Ouch.

 

“Happy!” came the reply almost immediately.

 

Kyungsoo did not believe it for a second. “Really?”

 

“I… yeah of course, Chansoo forever, duh.”

 

Kyungsoo took a deep breath again. It’s so hard to crack a Byun Baekhyun.

 

“Okay… so, if we go to dates, you’re okay with that?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“I’m talking about dates without you Baek. You can’t hang out with us. Not all the time, at least.”

 

WHAT!?

 

The instant pout on Baekhyun’s face almost made Kyungsoo chuckle. “Why can’t I?”

 

“Because we’re boyfriends. I don’t want a third wheel in our relationship.”

 

“But I – I’m Chanyeol’s best friend,” came the weak reply.

Baekhyun tried to ignore the small crack he felt on his chest at the thought.

 

“Yeah, and I’m the boyfriend. You can’t expect me to let my boyfriend  hang out with someone else more than me.”

 

Baekhyun lowered his head and seemed to think deeply.

 

Kyungsoo can almost smell his victory. He decided to continue.

“Chanyeol will hug me, more than he’ll hug you. Actually, I don’t think I’ll allow you to hug each other the way you do now.”

 

No answer.

 

Baekhyun tried to imagine Kyungsoo and Chanyeol hugging and –

 

“We will hold hands and do some sick PDA, is that okay with you?” Kyungsoo almost gagged at the thought. Ugghhh.

But Baekhyun remained silent.

 

  Chanyeol and Kyungsoo kissing? It’s okay, it’s completely okay –

 

“Basically, you two will need to spend lesser time together, because, he has a boyfriend now.”

 

  Damn it, Baekhyun, just admit it!

 

 

Silence, and then –

 

“That will not happen,” Baekhyun looked up at Kyungsoo with determined eyes.

 

Freaking finally! Kyungsoo almost hug Baekhyun at that moment when the older continued.

 

“I mean… Chanyeol will still find time for me…” he mumbled.

 

Kyungsoo rubbed his face in frustration. “Ugggh Byun, you don’t get it. What I’m telling is, once Chanyeol got a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, I really don’t care, you’ll need to accept that his world will not revolve around you anymore. You will not be a priority anymore.”

 

  Ouch. That hurts.

 

The pout came back. “Why are you telling me this? Why… are you…”

 

“You need to get yourself together Byun. Move! Before it’s too late, before Chanyeol likes someone else,” Kyungsoo can’t help but blabber out.

 

Somehow that statement jabbed Baekhyun a little harder than with the thought of Chanyeol and Kyungsoo together. But he masked it quickly with a glare.

 

“He likes someone else? Who? Tell me Kyungsoo, I will tear them apart!” fierce Baekhyun made a comeback.

 

“Okay, then tear yourself apart,” shrugged Kyungsoo nonchalant. He doesn’t ing care anymore.

 

  What?

 

“Wh-whaat?” Baekhyun voiced out.

 

Kyungsoo stood up and pat Baekhyun on the head. “You two are so stupid, it’s cute. I’m sleeping and don’t you dare disturb me!”

 

He went to his own bed and instantly buried himself beneath the comforter.

 

“Yah yah Kyungsoo! What were you saying!?” Baekhyun flopped down on the younger’s bed and tried tugging his comforter away.

 

“Go away Byun,” Kyungsoo muttered while putting on his eye mask. “Turn the lights off, thank you.”

 

“Kyungsoooooooo~~~”

 

“Why are you so interested? I thought Chansoo forever?” the owl-eyed boy smirked while hugging a pillow.

 

“No… no, about what you said…”

 

Kyungsoo can now hear the desperation on Baekhyun’s voice so he sat up again and tugged his mask down. Baekhyun’s troubled face greets him. “I said what I said Byun. Chanyeol likes you. Everyone can see it. Except you. Or I don’t know, maybe you’re deliberately ignoring it for some reason. And you , you like him too. Everyone can feel it as well. Even Chanyeol. He’s just waiting for you to come around, stupid. Now good night, shoo. One more word and I’ll kick you out and send you to Chanyeol’s room so you two can finally put your together.”

 

---

 

Baekhyun stared up at the ceiling of their now dark room.

 

Kyungsoo’s just probably annoyed, that’s why he talked non-sense things.

 

 

Chanyeol can’t probably like me!

 

  No! I’ll probably notice it. I’m not that dense! Or am I?

 

  Uuggh.

 

 

He kicked his comforter away in frustration.

 

 

 

  He – he won’t like me that way. Right?

 

  He rejected me before. Why would he now?

 

  And…why do I even care, I’m over him! Completely. I don’t like him that way anymore. Why would I like that Yoda!?

 

  AAAAARGHHHHH.

 

 

 

He grabbed his phone and unlocked it immediately.

 

2:34 AM.

 

  .

 

He opened his chat history with Chanyeol. His messages are now marked as read. But still no reply.

 

He pouted. The nerve of that guy!

 

He started to type but then immediately stopped.

 

But what if… what if…

 

  “Basically, you two will need to spend lesser time together…”

 

Will it be like this once Chanyeol got himself a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend? Will he not reply anymore? Will he not talk to Baekhyun anymore? Will he ignore his bestfriend completely?

 

The thought scared Baekhyun so much he felt a stab on his heart.

 

  No. He won’t do that to me. He-

 

The ding! from his phone made him flinched a little.

 

[2:36 AM  | Chanyeollie]

 

I saw you typing. It’s almost 3 in the morning.

 

Why are u still up

 

Don’t overthink Baek.

 

Im not angry okay.

 

Stop spamming.

 

Good night.

 

Baekhyun frowned. Is he waiting for me to message him again? How did he saw me typing?

 

[2:36 AM]

 

Ok

 

I hate you.

 

Good night

 

You’ll be on my bday

 

Right?

 

 

 

[2:36 AM  | Chanyeollie]

 

I hate you too

 

Yeah sure

 

 

 

[2:36 AM]

 

Ok

 

Chanyeol?

 

 

 

[2:36 AM  | Chanyeollie]

 

Y

 

 

 

[2:36 AM ]

 

Nothing. Night.

 

 

 

[2:36 AM  | Chanyeollie]

 

Night baekhyunnie.

 

Dream of me.

 

 

 

And Baekhyun did. He dreamt of them holding hands and doing some sick PDA. Hugging and kissing.

 

His alarm woke him up four hours later. And despite of the lack of sleep, he feels light and strangely giddy and he doesn’t even know why. Must be the dream, he concludes, must be nice if he could just remember it.

 

---



You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed, sing like a bird

Dizzy in my head, spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night



---

 

Baekhyun can’t help but frown.

 

It’s his birthday, and yet, no one’s paying him much attention.

 

Every year, since they started in the university, he would always go home to Bucheon with Chanyeol on the weekend of his birthday. But this year, he decided to bring Kyungsoo along for his brilliant plan. Luckily, the guy finally agreed after much persuasion (read: bribery).

 

The three of them arrived early Saturday, and while Chanyeol went home to his family to sleep more first, Baekhyun introduced Kyungsoo to his parents and older brother. They became very fond of the polite boy immediately.

 

Chanyeol arrived back at lunch for the celebration prepared by Baekhyun’s family.

It was fairly enjoyable until Baekhyun’s mom joked around Chanyeol and Kyungsoo by saying how they look good together. Baekhyun joined in at first, of course, because, hello? He’s the president of the Chansoo fans’ club.

He and his mother kept on teasing the whining Chanyeol and the shy Kyungsoo. But then, his brother and father joined in, and suddenly, it became too real and Baekhyun doesn’t want to participate at all anymore.

 

His father??? Teasing Chanyeol to another guy???

 

If Baekhyun is the president of the Chansoo club, well, Mr. Byun aka his father, is the president of the so called Baekyeol club. Yes. That’s right. He always teases that one day, Baekhyun’s surname will be Byun-Park. Mr. Byun was very fond of them that even when the they went to college, his father would always ask on the progress of their relationship.

 

But now? Wow.

 

  Kyungsoo and Chanyeol must really look good together for my own father to forget me.

 

Baekhyun should be happy because finally, someone acknowledged his freaking ship! But he can’t help but feel a little knot on his stomach though. It didn’t help that Chanyeol’s too smiley despite of whining a lot through the teasing.

 

  What the dude, stop smiling! I thought you hate my ship!!!

 

Baekhyun’s lost his appetite.

 

His bad mood carried on until after lunch when Chanyeol offered to show Kyungsoo around the town. The taller of course invited the birthday boy but Baekhyun declined, saying he’s tired.

 

He thought Chanyeol would at least persuade him to come along, but no, he went off with Kyungsoo just like that!

 

Baekhyun sulked all afternoon.

 

At four, he threw the comics he’s been reading on his bed and glanced at his phone.

 

No messages. Not even one!

 

He smirked bitterly. Those two must have enjoyed their date. On my birthday!!!

 

In any other situation, he would already be jotting down this momentous occasion on the club’s scrapbook or journal or whatever, feeling all giddy and excited for the progress of Chansoo.

 

But now, he just felt a little bit empty.

 

 

I’m just jealous because it’s my birthday. Chanyeol and I always spend our birthdays together.

 

  Totally not because I’m jealous of Kyungsoo…

 

  No.

 

  Or maybe a little?

 

  That’s just because they’re not including me! Is this what Kyungsoo talked about the other day? Chanyeol spending lesser time with me???

 

 

Baekhyun groaned and cover his face with a pillow.

 

---

It felt like a dejavu.

 

Instead of the Byun’s household, they’re now having dinner at the Park’s restaurant. Chanyeol’s mom dedicated an area for Baekhyun’s birthday dinner . It has always been this way since they were little.

 

Baekhyun sits with Chanyeol beside him. Kyungsoo sits across with Mrs. Park.

 

The birthday boy’s mood lifts up when his so called friends went back before six and Chanyeol announced that they should go to Viva Polo already since his mother is waiting.

 

The word Viva Polo alone could make Baekhyun the happiest in the world. Mrs. Park’s cooking is heavenly, not that he would tell his own mom, though.

 

Chanyeol invited Baekhyun’s family of course, but they declined, as always every year, since they know it’s the annual birthday date of Chanyeol and Baekhyun with the excuse of celebrating with Chanyeol’s mom. Mrs. Park would always return to the kitchen after the appetizer.

 

But not now. It’s not a date between them. He felt like the third party.

 

Baekhyun’s going through the whole ordeal of watching Chanyeol and Kyungsoo being teased at each other. Again. By no less than Mrs. Park.

 

“Oh Kyungsoo dear, help yourself, Chanyeol made the cake! He always makes Baekhyunnie’s cake. He baked this as soon as he arrived this morning!” came the gleeful remark of Mrs. Park while transferring a slab of cake on Kyungsoo’s plate.

 

“Thank you Mrs. Park! I’ll enjoy the cake,” smiled Kyungsoo with a slight bow.

 

“Oh so adorable~~~”

 

Baekhyun pouted. “I’m adorable too,” he murmured.

 

“Mom~~~ stop babying him! He’s bullying me in uni!” whined Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun can  see how Kyungsoo glared subtly at Chanyeol. “Ha ha, that’s not true at all, Mrs. Park, I’m just really fond of your son that’s why I always kid around him, right Chanyeol?” the owl-eyed boy smiled pointedly at Chanyeol. The taller just rolled his eyes.

 

How sweet. Baekhyun thought while stabbing his fork on his own slice of strawberry cake with a little bit force.

 

“Aw… no problem sweetie, I know Chanyeol’s just joking. And stop calling me Mrs. Park, I told you, you can call me Auntie! Just like how Baekhyunnie calls me!” Mrs. Park gently pat Kyungsoo’s shoulder while glancing sweetly at Baekhyun in front of him.

 

Baekhyun automatically smiles back. He loves the sweet lady more than Chanyeol. “Yeah, I told you Soo, auntie will like you,” he remarked before swallowing a big bite of the pink fluffiness.

 

He can’t help but moan at the taste. “Oh goodness Chanyeollie, you should totally open up your own cake shop already!”

 

Baekhyun didn’t notice how Chanyeol stiffened a little and how his ears reddened at the sound he made. Kyungsoo noticed though, and he snorted. It’s the taller’s turn to glare at him. Chanyeol cleared his throat before diverting the topic before his mom could notice.

 

“Anyway, yeah right, mom, if only you knew how Kyungsoo would punch –“

 

“Aw!” Baekhyun yelped and glared at Kyungsoo who obviously tried to kick Chanyeol underneath the table but instead hit his legs. Chanyeol guffaws (who obviously knew what happened) while Mrs. Park worriedly reached for Baekhyun. “What’s wrong Baekhyunnie?”

 

“He -he -he, I think there’ s a cat, Baekhyun’s okay,” interrupted by Kyungsoo.

 

“Yeah, yeah I think so,” Baekhyun agreed and kicked Kyungsoo back lightly. The guy winced a little.

 

“Cat?” Mrs.Park peeked under the table.

 

“Oh no no, it ran away auntie,” Baekhyun assured.

 

Chanyeol’s trying his best not to laugh.

 

---

 

“So, you’re coming right? Don’t tell me, you’re resting again!” Chanyeol glanced at Baekhyun quickly before turning to look back at the road in front of him.

 

It’s almost nine and he’s taking the two back at the Byun’s household using his mom’s car. Kyungsoo’s silently using his phone at the back seat without any interest on what the other two in front is talking about.

 

“Hmm?” Baekhyun hummed without taking off his gaze outside the passenger seat.

 

“The spring festival concert, at the town’s plaza, Baek,” he answered.

 

Please come with me, please, please –

 

“Oh, that’s tonight?” Baekhyun excitedly looked up at him.

It became sort of a tradition between the two of them to attend the concert since they were in middle school, since that night when Baekhyun was brave enough to take a step forward to bare his feelings. 

 

That evening did not end well, to say the least, but luckily, they came around a few days later, and nothing (or so they thought) changes between them. So they continued to watch the concert together every year, without mentioning the events that transpired on that faithful night. Even when they went to college, they always made sure to know the schedule of the annual spring festival of their town and mark the specific night of the concert so they could drive for the night and go back in the morning before classes starts.

 

“Yeah, luckily it’s a Saturday for this year,” Chanyeol smiled upon hearing the excitement on Baekhyun’s voice.

 

“And it’s on my birthday!” came the gleeful reply of the smaller.

 

Chanyeol’s heart leapt a little. He’s just glad Baekhyun’s happy again. He kept on noticing Baekhyun’s odd behavior throughout the day. He’s suddenly being silent, then he’s being hyper, then down the next minute.

 

  The day’s not over yet Baekhyunnie. I hope everything goes to plan.

 

“Your band didn’t sign up?”

 

“Oh no, the guys were a little bit busy for the past few weeks, we didn’t have time to practice.”

 

Eh. Not true at all.

 

Chanyeol purposely didn’t inform his bandmates about the concert. They played on it two years ago and the guys would surely agree if he asked them if they could perform a simple set again this year. But he has other plans for today. He wants to spend the night with his best friend only.

 

Unfortunately –

 

“Hey Soo, you have to see this concert –“

 

Blah blah blah. Chanyeol sighed. Of course Baekhyun would ruin his plans.

 

Thankfully, he already bribed Kyungsoo earlier when they went out in the afternoon.

 

“Nah. I’m tired Byun. Lemme sleep,” mumbled Kyungsoo without taking off his gaze of his phone.

 

“But Sooooo, it’s my birthday!” whined Baekhyun.

 

“Yeah and I already graced you with my presence throughout the day, be grateful.”

 

“Hmph,” Baekhyun pouted, arms crossed across his chest.

 

Yes, I love you Kyungsoo. Thank you! Chanyeol chuckled.

 

“Should we still go? Kyungsoo won’t come with us,” asked Baekhyun after a few seconds, question directed at Chanyeol.

 

“Wh-what?” The guy panicked and glanced at Kyungsoo at the back seat through the rear-view mirror.  Both of them were wide-eyes.

 

Kyungsoo sat up straight to save the situation. “Hey, you two should go, I’m really tired Baek, Chanyeol toured me the whole afternoon. You should enjoy the rest of the night, it’s your birthday after all,” Kyungsoo reached out to pat Baekhyun’s shoulder.

 

Baekhyun glanced back at the guy worriedly.

 

“Are you sure? But you’re my guest Soo, I should –“

 

“No you should not! I’m really okay Baek!”

 

Baekhyun looked at the suspiciously too smiley Kyungsoo while Chanyeol gulped visibly, trying his best to keep his attention on the road.

 

“Sure?”

 

“Yes!” Kyungsoo and Chanyeol answered simultaneously.

 

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol with a raised eyebrow.

 

“I… I mean, Kyungsoo said he’s tired, and you, you shouldn’t tire your guests!” Chanyeol bit his lip after answering.

 

Baekhyun was weirded out with his friends’ behavior. Chanyeol seems nervous and Kyungsoo seems so kind. Something doesn’t add up.

 

“Okay then…” he said after a while. “You two are weird.”

 

“He..he, so I’ll pick you up after an hour?” Chanyeol asked after a beat of silence.

 

“Hmm? Why don’t we go straight to it after we drop Soo?”

 

“I – I need to get something first…” he trailed off.

 

“What?”

 

“His composure,” snorted Kyungsoo from the back.

 

“What?” asked Baekhyun again.

 

“Shut up Soo,” Chanyeol gritted.

 

---

 

Chanyeol came back half past ten with his bicycle.

 

“Where’s the car?” whined Baekhyun upon seeing him.

 

“There’s a lot of people in the plaza right now and I’m sure it will be too hard to find a good parking at this time so –“

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah whatever Park.” He went closer to Chanyeol and tried to assess how would he ride the –

 

“What are you doing?” asked Chanyeol with raised eyebrows.

 

Baekhyun raised his eyebrows too in reply. “ I don’t know, trying to figure out how should I ride you –“

 

  Snort.

 

Baekhyun glanced at the open window of their living room. He can see the vague silhouette of Kyungsoo behind the curtains. Stupid y .

 

He glanced back at Chanyeol “I mean how should I…” he trailed off upon seeing the guy’s reddening ears and cheeks. “Hey Yeol, are you alright?” he worriedly asked while reaching out for the other’s face.

 

Chanyeol took a step back. “Yeah – I – “

 

Is he blushing? Is Park Chanyeol blushing?

 

Baekhyun cleared his throat to dispel the awkward atmosphere.

 

“Uhm so… I was just wondering, how would we ride this bike together…” he mumbled.

 

“Ride your own.”

 

“What?”

 

Chanyeol looks like he’ll be exploding anytime. “I mean… uhm you have your own bike, right?”

 

Somehow, Baekhyun was disappointed.

 

“Oh. Okay then, I’ll get it. Or I’ll borrow Hyung’s”. Baekhyun smiled awkwardly . He didn’t know why he’s feeling sad that he won’t share the  ride with Chanyeol.

 

Of course, they’re grown up now! They can’t go Full-house at this age.

 

He turned back and went inside the house.

 

Chanyeol was left alone, groaning. “What did I dooooo????”

 

“Stupid.” Someone coughed behind the curtains.

 

---

 

 

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile
 

 

---

It was nearing eleven when they arrived at the plaza. There were so many people and the concert was already almost halfway-through that they have no choice but to sat on the farthest back.

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun sat  down on the grass comfortably, not minding that they cannot see the stage fully. All they care about is the music, of course.

 

“Ah… spring in Bucheon is really good, don’t you think Yeol? This is what I’ve always missed when we’re in Seoul,” Baekhyun commented without looking at the other.

 

Chanyeol shifted and stretched his long legs in front of him, arms propped on his back on the ground to support his body. “Yeah… it’s so pretty around here. Everything is in bloom.”

 

They fell into comfortable silence after that, both listening to the music being played on the stage. The songs are all jazz and mellow, genres that suit the taste of any age brackets.

 

Baekhyun misses moment like these. When it’s just him and Chanyeol, hanging out together, not really doing anything. Back when they were still in high school, they would usually sneak out in the evenings and ride their bikes to roam around the town. It’s not necessary to sneak out, really, since their parents would not restrain them, they just loved the thrill of it.  Both of them were just idiots. On weekend mornings, especially when it’s spring, they would visit the meadow on the outskirts of the mountain. It’s their not so hidden sanctuary (a lot of people are now frequenting the place because somehow it got famous).

 

Baekhyun looked at the giant beside him, the cool spring air gently breezing through his hair. And suddenly, the beautiful green trees and blooming flowers in the background fell in comparison with this beauty.

 

Chanyeol’s so beautiful.

 

Baekhyun can’t deny it. Chanyeol always looks so good.

 

The latter looked back at him just in time with a smile, “What?”

 

Baekhyun shook his head. “Nothing,” he grinned.

 

“Ah! But you’re smiling! What is it!?” Chanyeol whined.

 

Baekhyun chuckled. “Nothing!” he denied.

 

Chanyeol pouted. “Whatever, Byun,” the taller concedes and decided to face the front again.

 

Baekhyun has the sudden urge to kiss the pout away.

 

Wait -What!?

 

Baekhyun shook his head vigorously to shake the thought away.

 

Chanyeol looked at him again with weirded eyes. “You’re losing it Byun,” he chuckled.

 

Yeah. I’m totally losing it.

 

They spent the next half of an hour just sitting there until the host announced that the next performers will be the last.

 

Chanyeol got excited when his favorite indie band was called upstage.

 

“ . Let’s go in front!” the taller excitedly stood up and dragged Baekhyun nearer the crowd. Baekhyun just laughed along. Chanyeol is such a fanboy.

 

The first song of the band was almost over when Baekhyun realized that Chanyeol’s still holding his hand.

 

And somehow, it felt so natural, felt so right, he doesn’t want to let go.

 

--

After the concert, they both agreed to just walk home while dragging their bicycles alongside them. It was such a cool evening (or rather early morning) that they didn’t feel the need to talk about anything. It was calming, awkwardness has never been a problem between the two of them.

 

It was two blocks away from Baekhyun’s house when Chanyeol spoke suddenly. “Hey Baek?”

 

Baekhyun hummed as an answer.

 

“I want to tell you something .”

 

Baekhyun stopped walking and stare at Chanyeol curiously. Usually, Chanyeol would just say whatever he wants. “What is it?”

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath before laying his bike gently on the sidewalk . Without much further thought, he blurted out the three words that shook Baekhyun’s world.

 

“I like you.”

 

Baekhyun’s heartbeat skips, Kyungsoo’s words the other night were coming back to him.

 

WHAT.

 

No. No.

 

He laughed a little to ease his nerves. “Ha ha. Okay? What’s the catch? Do you need something or –“

 

Chanyeol sighed. “No Baekhyun, I like you.”

 

What? What’s happening? NO. NO.

 

Baekhyun decided to downplay the raging beat of his heart. “R-Right. Of course I like you too,” he smiled gently.

 

He noticed how Chanyeol’s face fell a little. “It’s different Baekhyunnie, you know that’s not what I meant.”

 

No. Don’t.

 

Baekhyun pressed his lips in a thin line and shook his head a little. “No, I don’t know what you mean by that.”

 

And no, I don’t think I want to know.

 

Chanyeol sighed  and reached for his pocket, pulling out a piece of folded paper. “Here,” he handed it out for Baekhyun to take. The other hesitated before lowering his bike too in the ground, then reached out for Chanyeol’s outstretched hand slowly.

 

He saw Chanyeol’s messy handwriting on top.

 

 

For my B.

 

  Happy birthday.

 

 

 

“I’ve been planning to give it to you for a while now, but the timing was never right, and now –“

 

Baekhyun frowned and looked up at Chanyeol immediately without opening the paper. Somehow, he’s dreading what’s inside. “What’s this? Is this some sort of confession letter Channie?” he smiled nervously.

 

Chanyeol on the other hand, did not smile. His face was serious and a little pale. Baekhyun was about to take back his joke when Chanyeol slowly nodded.

 

Baekhyun’s smile faded completely.

 

“Chanyeol…”

 

“It’s my song… for you, I’ve been working on it,” Chanyeol scratched the back of his neck shyly. “I - , I understand if you’ll reject me Baek, I just want to tell you everything in that song. I just… I just don’t want to keep anything from you. Don’t worry if –“

 

Baekhyun can’t process the words he’s hearing anymore. This is too sudden and he can’t understand what he’s feeling right now.

He’s stunned, nervous, elated, disappointed – he’s too confused to listen.

 

“Since when?” he asked quietly, interrupting Chanyeol’s nervous stutter.

 

Chanyeol bit his lips before answering. “I really don’t know Baek, since middle school? High school…”

 

“But you rejected me,” Baekhyun stated, remembering that one spring night just like today, when he –

 

Chanyeol’s shoulder’s sagged. “I know. I like you back then Baekhyun, but you didn’t give me the chance to - .”

 

Baekhyun shook his head.

 

It can’t be.

 

“You’re lying,” he whispered. “Is this some prank Chanyeol? Because if it is –“

 

“Baek, no! Just read that letter, please? And you’ll –“

 

Baekhyun looked at the paper on his hand.

 

It’s all coming back to him. That night.

 

He was once brave, yes. But not right now.

 

“It doesn’t make sense,” he shook his head. “You said you don’t like me before –“

 

Anguish flodded Chanyeol’s face. “No Baekhyun, I never said that. You didn’t listen to what I have to say that time, and then you flee, and –“

 

Everything was too fast and confusing and Baekhyun needs something to distract him from the scary feeling that’s enveloping his system. A feeling that’s all too familiar, the feeling of rejection, the feeling of wanting but never having, a feeling he does not want to feel again. He needs to hide, he needs to hide behind –

 

“Kyungsoo.”

 

Chanyeol’s eyes showed disappointment. “What?”

 

“No. No Chanyeol, Kyungsoo –“

 

“What has Kyungsoo got to do with this?”

 

“He… he likes – you like him -“

 

Chanyeol took a step towards Baekhyun but the latter took a step back. The hurt flashed in Chanyeol’s eyes. Horror filled Baekhyun’s face when he realized what he had done and immediately grasp Chanyeol’s hands. “Chan… it’s not…”

It’s exactly what happened before and Baekhyun did not intend to do it.

 

Chanyeol smiled bitterly. “I get it Baekhyun, I get it,” he said before pulling his hands away. “You still hate me for what happened before.”

 

“No! Of course not Chanyeol. I’m not that petty! I’m just –“ tears pooled at the corner of his eyes. Goddamnit. It’s so frustrating.  “Chan… please… don’t do this…”

 

“What?” came the frustrated question of Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun bit his lips to stop its quivering. “You don’t know what you’re saying…” Baekhyun said in the smallest voice he could muster. “You’re just confused…”

 

Chanyeol smirked at that and looked up immediately to prevent his own tears from falling. “Ha!” the taller exhaled loudly and turned around to hide his face.

 

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun gripped the taller’s left arm. “I’m sorry…” he whispered. He can’t help but cry too.

 

He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to hurt his Chanyeol. But he’s afraid, too afraid, and he doesn’t want to give hope, not when he’s so confused right now.

 

Chanyeol dropped his head and wiped away his tears by rubbing his face with the arm that was not held by Baekhyun. He then gently pulled his other arm away from the smaller.

 

Baekhyun let his hands fall at his side while watching Chanyeol helplessly.

 

Chanyeol…

 

“Why won’t you believe me?” whispered Chanyeol amidst the sniffs.

 

“Chanyeol…”

 

“It . This hurts like .”

 

Both of them cried silently, the cold spring air brushing through their wet cheeks.

 

After a few seconds, Chanyeol turned around to face him with a small smile. “I’m sorry Baekhyun. I ruined your birthday, huh? I just thought –“

 

“Chanyeol, no, I’m sorry –“

 

Chanyeol shook his head gently and reached out for Baekhyun’s face. He held both cheeks and wiped the tears running down. “Don’t be. Just, just don’t be a stranger, Baek, please?” he pleaded with a small voice.

 

--



Even when you're gone

Somehow you come along

Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that

You steal away the rain and just like that---



--

 

They were in middle school when Baekhyun realized he likes Chanyeol more than a friend. He was too afraid, and yet he tried.

 

It was the spring festival and he’s planning to confess on his best friend on the night of the concert that will culminate the week-long celebration.

 

He can still remember the sunflowers he gathered that afternoon from the meadow they frequent every weekend. Sunflowers remind him of Chanyeol. Bright and beautiful.

 

But then, he can also still remember the shock, the sadness, the guilt on Chanyeol’s face when he uttered the words “I like you.”

Chanyeol stepped back when he said that and Baekhyun’s heart broke into pieces.

 

Chanyeol was disgusted. He was so sure of that.

 

But then Chanyeol immediately hugged him and uttered endless sorry.

 

That faithful beautiful spring night, Baekhyun experienced his first heart break.

 

He didn’t expect that the second one will happen almost six years later, by watching Chanyeol weep.

 

---

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t want to interfere but he can sense that it did not go well. He and Baekhyun went back to the university without Chanyeol in tow. Baekhyun said he needs to go back as soon as possible. Kyungsoo tried asking Chanyeol what happened when they met at school came Monday, but the taller just smiled sadly.

 

Kyungsoo observed for a few days and realized that Baekhyun was avoiding Chanyeol. Most of the time, the smaller would not let a day went by without bringing Chanyeol in their room or plainly disturbing the guitarist by calling him on the phone. Kyungsoo was too used to it.

 

But now there’s nothing.

 

Chanyeol’s the one who always asks for Baekhyun. Baekhyun would shake his head at Kyungsoo. The youngest feels frustrated but what can he do?

 

“I’m sorry Chanyeol, Baek’s not here,” he would always say every time.

 

He wants to confront Baekhyun because obviously the smaller likes Chanyeol too. And incredibly misses the other as well. He would often catch Baekhyun looking at Chanyeol’s contact, as if contemplating whether to call or not. He also often saw the other reading something through a piece of paper.

 

For my B. He caught a glimpse once.

 

This routine went on for weeks and Kyungsoo can’t help but miss the bubbly interaction between the two best friends. He even misses the annoying teasing of Byun Baekhyun and his constant parade of his Chansoo plans. What the hell, he misses those two stupidest idiots in the world.

 

Kyungsoo shook his head in frustration.

 

 

This is getting out of hand.

It’s time for project Chanbaek to commence.

 

----

 

“Where are you going?” Baekhyun asks Kyungsoo who’s heading out with a leather jacket in tow.

 

Kyungsoo stopped at his tracks. “On a date?”

 

“Date?” Baekhyun mused curiously. “With whom?”

 

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo answered simply and reached for his shoes on the rack.

 

Baekhyun felt his heart drop at the mention of the name, of the person he misses so much. “Who?”

 

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo repeated nonchalant while wearing the shoes.

 

“Oh. Okay,” Baekhyun nodded glumly and went back to the article he was reading on his phone.

 

Stop Baekhyun. Stop. It’s just a friendly date and –

 

“Baek?”

 

He lifted his head up to look at Kyungsoo, all dashing in his outfit. “Yeah?”

 

“I just want you to know that I’m going to follow your advice before.”

 

Baekhyun felt nervous. “Wh-what do you mean?”

 

“Chanyeol. I want to try it with him. I mean, who knows, maybe this Chansoo thing will work after all,” the smaller smiled brightly before waving and reaching for the door.

 

Baekhyun was left dumbfounded, and a little scared.

 

---

 

“Oh goodness, the things I would do for the both of you idiots, uuurrggh,” Kyungsoo muttered after he shut the door closed.

 

---

 

It’s been a month already since Baekhyun’s birthday and he felt tier more than ever. He misses Chanyeol so much yet he can’t do anything about it.

 

He was too surprised with Chanyeol’s sudden confession that he panicked and got afraid.

 

 

What if he’s just too hang up on my confession years ago and he just wants to ease his conscience by doing the same thing?

Or –

 

  What if  he’s just confused and he just likes me because he knows I liked him too?

 

 

 

He came up with hundreds of excuses and each one was more absurd than the other, that he choose to avoid Chanyeol altogether to get his right.

 

Feelings re-surfaced and Baekhyun feels frustrated and scared.

Kyungsoo was right all along. He likes Chanyeol.

 

His feelings never went away, he just tried to hide it, buried it on the bottom-most part of his heart.

 

But he needs to think about it thoroughly, it’s their friendship on the line, after all. So he tried to have some space and time away from Chanyeol. It was hard, and it hurts him, more so, knowing Chanyeol’s hurting as well.

 

It also added to his guilt when he realized that he has indeed used Kyungsoo to get away from his feelings. Chanyeol must hurt a lot every time Baekhyun pushed him towards the other.

He’s too confused yet also afraid that Chanyeol will completely be gone from his life. The past weeks have been torture. Chanyeol has always been a part of him.

 

Just when he decided to finally talk to Chanyeol again to maybe fix everything, he realized he’s too late.

 

Chansoo happened. For real.

 

How ironic.

 

The club’s president now wants to be the anti-fan.

 

----

 

“Kyungsoo?”

 

The said boy almost dropped the phone he’s holding. “Okay babe, see you later, bye,” he said to the speaker.

 

“Okay babe, see you,” Jongin answered from the other line.

 

But of course Baekhyun can’t hear that.

 

Kyungsoo smiled brightly at Baekhyun after he hang up. “Hey Baek, what’s up?”

 

Baekhyun smiled tightly while sitting down in front of him.

 

Kyungsoo was surprised when his roommate asked him early this morning if they could eat lunch together. Kyungsoo had some inkling on why but he doesn’t want to hope too much.

 

“Is that- Chanyeol?” the other tentatively asked.

 

Bingo!

 

“Yeah… yeah, he just told me he’s eating lunch with his bandmates,” he lied, but technically, he did not, because Jongin said they were eating together, and they are bandmates.

 

“Oh,” Baekhyun nodded and proceeded to stand up again. “I’ll order first,” seeing that Kyungsoo already has a plate of pasta in front of him. The smaller nodded back.

 

There was awkwardness in the air when they started eating a few minutes later. No one was talking until Kyungsoo can’t take it anymore. He put down his fork and decided to talk the talk. It was never like this between the two of them, for goodness sake.

 

“Okay, Byun, spill,” he arched one of his eyebrows high.

 

“What?” frowned Baekhyun.

 

“It’s about Chanyeol, right?”

 

Baekhyun coughed like something caught on his throat.

 

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Kyungsoo sassed while reaching out a glass of water to the other. “What, you heard the name Chanyeol for the first time?” he smirked.

 

Baekhyun glared at him while drinking the water. Kyungsoo’s smirk grew higher.

 

“What’s the problem then Byun?”

 

Baekhyun visibly gulps first before looking down at his plate.

 

“Kyungsoo… are you… really dating Chanyeol?”

 

Kyungsoo can now see the finish line.

 

“So what if I am?”

 

Kyungsoo immediately wants to take it back when he saw the hurt that flashed through Baekhyun’s eyes. But he needs to do this, not until this hard-headed friend of his finally cracks.

 

“I just wanted to confirm,” came the weak reply.

 

Kyungsoo tilted his head. “Are you sad Baekhyun? Isn’t this what you want from the start?”

 

Baekhyun opened his mouth to say something but immediately closes it again. He nodded instead.

 

“Okay then,” idiot, Kyungsoo wanted to add. “Yes, we’re dating,” he lied.

 

  Oh my god, forgive me Chanyeol. Forgive me Jongin, my baby.

 

Sadness and hurt flooded Baekhyun’s face. Kyungsoo badly wants to hug his friend but he remained in his seat. The other smiled sadly and then dropped his head down.

 

Kyungsoo fidgeted on his seat. That’s it!? You’re giving up just like that?

 

He’s going to speak again when he hears some sniffle.

 

.

 

“Baek?” he worriedly called. Did he just –

 

Baekhyun looked up smiling with tears running down his face.

 

“I’m sorry Kyung, I’m just – just happy that you two finally got together and – and – God it hurts,” Baekhyun’s façade completely broke down and instead sobbed loudly in the middle of the café, at high noon.

 

Students sitting close to them turned around at Baekhyun’s sob, but Kyungsoo doesn’t care about them.

 

He immediately stood up and scooted closer to Baekhyun. “Baek – Baek, what’s the problem, hey stop-“ he tried consoling the other by pulling him onto his shoulder. Baekhyun’s cries louder.

 

“I’m sorry Kyungsoo – I just – – I’m so unfair, I know but, this is unfair for me too – and – “

 

“Sssshhh, calm down Byun, calm down,” Kyungsoo patted Baekhyun’s back gently.

 

“I’m sorry –“

 

Sniff.

 

“What are you sorry for? Hmm?”

 

Sniff.

 

“For – for feeling this way – I’m so embarrassed and guilty and – you’re my friend Kyung, and he’s already you’re boyfriend, but –“

 

“But?”

 

Baekhyun  continued  to sob on his shoulder. He waited patiently for the other to calm down.

 

After minutes of no one talking and Baekhyun just sniffling, the older finally got himself together and got a napkin to wipe his snot.

 

Kyungsoo grimaced. “Gross, Byun.”

 

Baekhyun smiled a little, and then hold Kyungsoo’s hand.

 

“Kyungsoo, you’ll take care of Chanyeol, right?

 

Kyungsoo grimaced, “are you dying or something?”

 

Baekhyun laughed at that. “Shut up.” He looked down at Kyungsoo’s hand and gently caressed it. “Kyunggsoo, I - I need to confess something - ”

 

“What, you like me?”

 

“Shut up and listen. Okay?”

 

Kyungsoo nodded solemnly.

 

Baekhyun took a deep breath before starting again. “You’re right. I like him. I like Chanyeol. And I know it’s too late and I’m sorry if I’m telling this to you –“

 

Kyungsoo sighs in relief. Freaking finally.

 

“Hey wait, I need to confess something too.”

 

---

 

“Chanyeol!”

 

Chanyeol stopped on his tracks.

 

That voice.

 

Oh how much he missed that voice.

 

“Chanyeol!”

 

Slowly, he turned around. A red-faced Baekhyun was huffing in front of him. “Wait – lemme just –“ Baekhyun panted while holding a hand up, obviously exhausted from running.

 

Chanyeol wants to do nothing but hug the light out of Baekhyun.

. He misses him so much, he felt like crying.

 

But he calmed himself and held back. “What do you want Baekhyun?” he asked.

 

Baekhyun flinched at his tone. He can’t help but be hostile. Of course he’s still hurting with Baekhyun’s avoidance act these past days.

 

“Kyungsoo –“

 

Oh right, Kyungsoo told him of his plans. “Yeah, what about my boyfriend?” he asked with too much eagerness. Wow, way to go, Park.

 

Baekhyun frowned. “Isn’t that too fast though? You just confessed to me and now you have a boyfriend already?”

 

Oh .

 

“So? Can’t I like somebody else?” he shrugged.

 

Baekhyun face fell and Chanyeol wants to kiss his frown away. “Of course you can.”

 

Chanyeol wants to roll his eyes over Baekhyun’s passive-aggressiveness.

 

“So what about Kyungsoo?” he asked instead.

 

“What?”

 

“You were saying something about Kyungsoo –“

 

“Oh, nothing, I just want to say that you - you deserve Kyungsoo and he deserves you too and –“

 

Chanyeol eyes widened when Baekhyun stopped mumbling midway and started to tiptoe and grabbed his cheeks.

 

“What – what are you –“

 

“Shut up, Kyungsoo told me the truth,” the smaller whispered before pressing their lips together.

 

And Chanyeol died. The end.

 

Kidding.

 

Chanyeol’s inside rumbled. He felt like melting. He felt like jumping.

 

The sudden kiss almost gave him a mini heart-attack.

 

What’s happening – what -

 

It wasn’t his first kiss, and wasn’t even as great as his previous kisses.

 

It was a simple meeting of flesh, no heat or lust, no tongues, just an innocent kiss.

 

But it was everything.

 

Baekhyun has his eyes closed and Chanyeol’s too surprised to even blink.

 

Before he could process what’s happening, Baekhyun’s already pulling away.

 

The smaller seemed to be just as dazed as he was. Wide almond shaped eyes met droopy ones.

 

Chanyeol was the first one to break the silence. “ I – I – what was that?” he stuttered.

 

Baekhyun’s face is completely red by now. “I - I don’t know?”

And just like that, the magic shutters.

 

“You don’t know?” Chanyeol whispered.

 

“No – I mean –“

 

“Well then, don’t go kissing anyone around, Baekhyun, you just might end up giving them false assumptions.”

 

“Chanyeol –“

 

“Stop playing with my emotions Baekhyun, I’m hurting too.” And just like that, Chanyeol walked out, broken – hearted more than ever.

 

----

 

Kyungsoo told Chanyeol that Baekhyun confessed to him about everything. Chanyeol wants to believe badly that Baekhyun really still likes him too, but what can he do when the smaller makes him feel otherwise?

 

After the kiss, he thought that he should be the one feeling bad. But no, it was Baekhyun avoiding him all over again. He’s really feeling hopeless, he felt like this is getting nowhere. Kyungsoo told him to wait patiently.

 

But how could he?

 

Baekhyun’s a vital part of his life.

 

He misses his Baekhyun too much.

 

--

It was a typical Monday evening when Chanyeol arrived at the dorm after a long day of lectures and group meetings. He hasn’t eaten his lunch yet so he’s really feeling grumpy already.

 

Kyungsoo asked him to eat dinner with him and Jongin and he agreed to meet them after he dropped some things and changed clothes at his dorm.

 

But what’s waiting outside his dorm room instantly lifted his mood up.

 

A sunflower.

 

He smiled, picking up the lone stem.

 

You’re my sun, the note reads.

--

Chanyeol continued receiving a sunflower a day for the next days, each with different note that tickles his insides. Of course, he knows it’s from Baekhyun. The boy gave him sunflowers when he first confessed to him all those years ago. Call him sentimental but he still has the dried up flowers back in his room in their home.

 

He really wants to confront Baekhyun already but if the smaller was still giving him flowers, then he might have some plan that Chanyeol doesn’t want to ruin. Baekhyun needs time, and Chanyeol will give it to him.

 

---

 

Baekhyun was whistling while walking towards Chanyeol’s dorm room, one hand inside his pocket and the  other one dwindling the stem of the sunflower in between his fingers.

 

He’s in a real good mood today because classes are finally over and tomorrow will be the official start of summer vacation. He was skipping on his steps and humming wistfully that he did not notice a certain tall guy that he passed by along the corridor.

 

Baekhyun crouched upon reaching Chanyeol’s door, setting down the flower gently on the floor.

 

He’s been doing this for the past week and he’s not even sure if Chanyeol’s getting his flowers. The other guy still doesn’t acknowledge him when they met on classes or anywhere else.

 

He sighed deeply. It’s his fault after all.

 

The kiss happened just because he got distracted with Chanyeol’s lips. He was really curious on how would it feel to kiss them.

 

But then again, he panicked.

 

God – when would he stop panicking?

 

He cried on Kyungsoo again that night, but Kyungsoo told him that it was not the end of the world yet. So he devised a plan. A plan to woo Chanyeol on his own way.

 

He knows it will be hard. But he needs to try. He’s still afraid to hurt Chanyeol again with something careless that he might say so he tried to convey his message through –

 

“What are you doing?”

 

The voice sent Baekhyun falling on his bum on the floor.

 

“Chanyeol!”

 

The other frowned down at him so he quickly gathered himself and stood up, dusting his pants in the process.

 

“Hi!” he squeaked a little too excitedly. But Chanyeol continued to frown and instead crouched down on the floor. Baekhyun’s eyes widened upon realizing that he squashed the flower when he fell. Chanyeol picked it up and gaze intently on the damaged petals. “You’ve ruined it,” the taller whispered.

 

“I – I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to –“

 

Chanyeol ignored him and took out his keys to open the door. The guy went inside but left the door open.

 

Baekhyun was confused and didn’t know what to do so he decided to leave. He took a deep breath before taking a step away. Nothing’s ever going to plan.

 

Dejected, he started to walk away when he heard Chanyeol’s voice again. “Aren’t you going in?”

 

Baekhyun  was startled but nonetheless took the opportunity  quickly. He stepped inside Chanyeol’s room and closed the door behind him.

 

Ah. How much he had missed this room.

 

Chanyeol has his back facing Baekhyun, seemingly busy attending to something in his study table. When the taller moved, Baekhyun saw a line of soju bottles beside the window, each one holding one or two sunflowers in it, with the most recent one on the left side. Baekhyun’s heart jumped in happiness. Chanyeol’s been keeping his flowers.

 

“Someone’s been leaving behind these flowers,” Chanyeol muttered when he noticed what Baekhyun’s looking at. He picked his guitar up and sat on his bed, back leaning on the headboard. The younger strummed the strings before continuing with a soft voice, “It’s such a waste, though.”

 

Baekhyun’s breath hitched. “Waste?” he’s still standing awkwardly at the middle of the room.

 

Chanyeol looked up at him with blank eyes. “Yeah, it’s a pity. Flowers are meant to be planted, not to be picked out.”

 

Baekhyun gulped, he thought – he thought –

 

“Right,” he agreed dejectedly. He ‘s feeling like an idiot, he didn’t even think about how Chanyeol would react about the flowers.

 

He just assumed that the other will like them.

 

Stupid, stupid Baekhyun.

 

He feels tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. He needs to go, he needs to ran way for now.

 

“I – I need to go, I remember something - ” he turned around and was about to reach out on the door knob when Chanyeol speaks.

 

“You’re running away, again.”

 

Baekhyun stopped on his track, but did not dare to look back.

 

“When you confessed all those years ago, instead of hearing my answer, you ran away. And when you came back, it’s as if nothing happened and you decided to forget all about it. Do you know how it hurts?”

 

Baekhyun’s heart wrenched at the memories.

 

Strum.

 

“So I thought, maybe you were just confused, and maybe you realized that it was just an infatuation so I did not push myself. I was contented Baek. I accepted the fact that we’ll just remain as friends.”

 

Strum.

 

“But then… you met Jongin. I was devastated when you two got together. Do you know how it broke me? Seeing you with somebody else, and of all people, it was Jongin – and – do you know what I’ve been thinking all those times?”

 

Baekhyun can’t help the tears that escaped his eyes, he can’t even dare to open his mouth to answer. So without looking back, he shook his head sideways gently as an answer.

 

“… that it should have been me, if I was just braver, if I  just –“ Chanyeol’s voice cracked and Baekhyun can’t help but turn around to face the other. Chanyeol looked back at him with teary eyes.

 

“And you know what’s more heartbreaking?”

“Chanyeol –“

 

“Every time you pushed me towards Kyungsoo, do you know how it hurts? It’s like you’ve been slapping on my face the fact that I’ll never be good enough for you, that we can never be together, that I’m good being off with someone else…”

 

“Chan –“

 

“But it was okay, Baek. I kept on telling myself that you’ll come around, that maybe when I tell you my feelings, you’ll give me a chance.”

 

Baekhyun slowly approached Chanyeol towards the bed. Gently, he sat on it while facing the other , both of them silently tearing up. Chanyeol reached out for his face, caressing a cheek to wipe away the tears, one hand still clutching the guitar on his lap. “But you didn’t Baekhyun, and again that was okay for me,” he smiled sadly.

 

Baekhyun hiccupped and hold on to the hand touching his face. He doesn’t know what to say anymore, so Chanyeol took it as a cue to continue.

 

“But you not talking to me… Baek, it hurts, it ing hurts,” he whispered.

 

Baekhyun can’t bear to look at the tears flowing down Chanyeol’s face, he can’t bear to look how he broke his bestfriend, so he opted to close his eyes and instead tighten his grip on Chanyeol’s hand. “I’m sorry –“

 

Arms suddenly engulfed his body, hugging him tight. Chanyeol’s scent attacked his senses and Baekhyun can’t help but sob harder on the other’s chest. “Sorry –“

 

Chanyeol his back gently, kissing the tuft of his hair. “Ssshhh stop saying sorry – just come back to me, please?” he muttered.

 

Baekhyun nodded his head furiously against Chanyeol’s chest.

 

“I don’t care if you don’t like me, all I want is for –“

 

Baekhyun pulled out from Chanyeol’s embrace, “No, no, Chanyeol I like you, I really –“

 

Chanyeol smiled at him kindly. “You don’t have to say that Baekhyun, I under –“

 

And just like the first time, Chanyeol was taken aback when all of a sudden, soft lips pressed unto his own. But as sudden as it arrived, the sudden it disappeared. “I like you! I like you and it was so stupid of me to hide it. I was just afraid okay!. Back then I thought you rejected me –“

 

“You ran away from me –“

 

“I know! Because I was scared by your answer so I pretended that it did not happen. And it was okay for me too Chanyeol. I was contented.”

 

“I thought you –“

 

“let me finish!” Baekhyun snapped at him. Chanyeol grinned. “Okay.”

 

Baekhyun took a deep breath before continuing. “So I tried to forget all my feelings for you. And I thought I did. I tried dating Jongin. But it did not work out, you know why?”

 

Chanyeol smirked. “He was not me,” he wriggled his eyebrows cheekily, amidst the tears.

 

Baekhyun hit him softly on the arms. “Shut up, but yeah true.”

Chanyeol laughed at that.

 

Baekhyun almost melted at that. Oh how much he missed Chanyeol.

 

“Jongin said that we’re practically boyfriends, and that he feels like he is third-wheeling everytime.”

 

Chanyeol frowned. “Oh, I didn’t mean to –“

 

“Don’t worry, we’re okay. Jongin’s fine with it. We were just trying that time.”

 

Baekhyun held Chanyeol’s hand and played with his fingers. “So I tried setting you up with Kyungsoo instead,” he continued with a small voice, not daring to look up at Chanyeol’s face.

 

“Why would you do that?”

 

“Because – because it will distract me, and I can project all my love for you through Kyung –“

 

“You love me?”

 

Baekhyun’s breath hitched at his slip-up. He looked up, horrified. “I – I mean –“

 

"Don't worry Baek, you don't have to tell me. You'll figure it out, we'll figure it out," Chanyeol smiled at him while holding both his hands.

 

They were silent for a few seconds and as Baekhyun watched Chanyeol, he noticed something different in his eyes, something deeper, something scary. And Baekhyun realized what it was. "You love me." He whispered.

 

It was not a question. It was a confirmation. He felt it.

 

Instead of answering, Chanyeol pulled him again in his arms, chin resting atop Baekhyun's shoulder. They didn't speak a word. Baekhyun basked in the warm feeling.

It feels so good.

 

They stayed like that until Chanyeol started kissing his shoulder very lightly through his shirt. Then the taller raised his head and the two looked intensely at each other.

 

Baekhyun took the initiative to lean closer and brought their lips together for the second time that night.

 

They kissed gently at first, then it got longer, neither wanting to break it. Baekhyun parted his mouth and Chanyeol took the opportunity eagerly to slid his tongue inside.

 

Chanyeol started to take control and pull Baekhyun closer to him, hand behind the smaller's neck, the other on his waist. The both of them were melting on the intensity of the kiss.

 

All the doubts and questions suddenly didn't matter anymore. The kiss was too exhilarating, hot and intense for them to think of anything else.

 

Baekhyun pulled back to gasp for much needed air. "God, I love kissing you," he muttered, lips still ghosting over Chanyeol's.

 

"I love you," Chanyeol murmured back as he kissed Baekhyun's cheek.

 

Baekhyun's response was to press his lips again against Chanyeol's plump ones. The giant kissed back with a big smile.

----

 

“Baekhyun.”

 

“What.”

 

“What’s with this Jongsoo project?”

 

“Jongin and Kyungsoo. Duh. I’m shipping you with Jongin.”

 

Silence.

 

“We’re boyfriends, you know that, right?”

 

Pause.

 

“So?”

 

Kyungsoo exhaled loudly. “Sometimes I wonder why you have all the time of the world for these s.”

 

Pout.

 

“Chanyeol!!! Kyungsoo’s bullying meeeeee!”

 

Nonetheless, the night ended with Chanyeol and Baekhyun nursing their bruised arms from Kyungsoo’s hits, and Jongin calming his boyfriend down.

 

----End----