“I want to break up,”

 

“Would that make you happy?”

 

“Yes,”

 

“Okay, then,”

 

“That’s it?” An eyebrow raised. “You’re not going to even ask why?” she asked

 

“No,” he shook his head, hoping his voice wouldn’t fail him.

 

“You’re not even going to try and convince me to stay with you?”

 

“Ending this relationship would make you happy, and I want you to be happy,” he took a sip of his now cold coffee.

 

“Have a good life, Yoon Dowoon,” she stood up, placing a few crisp bills on the table, and leaving before she could catch the tear that managed to escape his eye.

 

“You too, Kang Miyoung,” he said, watching her figure become smaller and smaller, letting the teardrop fall onto the table.

 

The seconds turned into minutes, the hours into days, the months into years.

 

It was three years later when it happened.

 

⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰

 

It was three years later when the nightmare returned.

 

“Dowoon,” the calm feminine voice spoke. “You’re okay. I’m here, baby, everything is fine,”

 

“It was so real,” he said, holding his head in his hands, the hot tears rushing down his face, body trembling. “It was like it was happening all over again.” She moved the blanket so she could be closer next to him, wrapping his arms around his body so his head was against her chest.

 

“Just listen to my heart beat,” she said, rubbing his back. “Listen to it, and breathe with me,” she guided him, helping until he was breathing at a normal pace. “I’m here for you,” she said, her head on his.

 

“Thank you,” he mumbled, his eyes closed tightly as he held onto her as if she were his lifeboat. He didn’t have to ask her to keep her arms around him; he knew that no matter how many he would wake up in the middle of the night, she would be there with him, hold him tight and stay until it was alright.

 

The bed was empty. He sat in the bed, the hot tears falling from his eyes, leaving more alone than ever. There was no one to hold him, no one to wipe his tears, no one to help him pace his breathing.

 

Kang Miyoung wasn’t there to hold him.

 

Kang Miyoung wasn’t there to wipe his tears.

 

Kang Miyoung wasn’t there.

 

She was long gone and the thought of that alone made his sobs heavier, the tears thicker, the bed emptier.

 

⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰

 

“It’s almost 3 AM, why aren’t you sleeping?” she mumbled, turning to face the man.

 

“I can’t fall asleep,” he grumbled, frustrated at himself.

 

“Want me to sing you a lullaby?” she asked, looking at him with wide eyes. He cracked one eye open, a frown on his lips. “I’m serious,” she said.

 

He was silent as he thought it over, finally nodding. She smiled, moving closer so she was leaning her head against his chest, closing her eyes as she found solace in the warmth of his body before she started humming.

 

It wasn’t a familiar song, and that made Dowoon smile.

 

Kang Miyoung danced to the beat of her own drum.

 

Snuggling his face in the crook of her neck, he found himself getting pulled into sleep as she hummed her own melody.

 

It was 3 AM, but he was alone in the bed.

 

His fingers danced along the thread of the duvet as he lay there, waiting for the sun to rise. His eyes were closed as his mind was desperately searching for any of the many melodies she would hum for him, but nothing came to mind.

 

Kang Miyoung and her melodies were long gone.

 

⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰

 

“It’s so early,” she mumbled, her eyes thick with sleep as she sat up in bed. “Come back to bed,”

 

“I can’t,” he chuckled. “I have a deadline and I have so much to do,” he sighed, already stressing out about the work he had to complete.

 

She let out a tired yawn, blinking to help her keep her eyes open. “You’ll be fine,” she assured him.

 

“I hope you,”

 

“I love you,” she smiled, holding her arms up.

 

“I love you, too,” he let out a smile, wrapping his arms around her small frame.

 

There was no one for him the mornings.

 

No one telling him that everything would be fine.

 

No one telling him ‘I love you’.

 

His mornings were like his nights - alone, cold, and empty.

 

Kang Miyoung and her comfort were gone.

 

⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰

 

“Dowoon,” she cooed, her phone in her hands.

 

“Stop recording me, I don’t look good,” he said, holding his own hand up to cover his face.

 

“Why do you think that?” she frowned, standing next to him so the camera would capture both their faces. “Everyone, look at my boyfriend! Isn’t he the most handsome man in the world?” she turned her face so she was looking at him. His face was pink as he tried to hold back a smile. “Ah, not be shy, smile!” she said, lifting his lips up. “Oh, so handsome!” Her eyes literally had hearts in them as she looked at the man next to her. Too shy for this attention, he turned away from her.

 

“Stop,” he mumbled, not being able to look at her in the eye.

 

“Dowoon,” she said in that sweet voice of hers. The way that she would say his name, it was like music to his ears. “Dowoon,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist, her cheek against his back.

 

“Why do you look at me like that?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like I’m the only one in the world,”

 

“Because,” she giggled, “you’re my entire universe, the stars, the moon, and the world, you’re my everything,”

 

Standing in the kitchen, he was alone.

 

Kang Miyoung wasn’t there, looking at him like he was the only one there was.

 

She wasn’t there saying his name with her honey-like voice.

 

She wasn’t there anymore.

 

He was all alone.

 

⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰⤯⤰

 

He knew that he was just hurting himself more.

 

He was only causing more pain.

 

But he couldn’t help but scroll through her SNS.

 

She met someone new.

 

She seemed happier.

 

“Why am the only one hurting?” he whispered, his tears blurring the picture of Kang Miyoung kissing a stranger. He threw his phone across the room, not caring when he heard the thud as it fell to the floor, undoubtedly cracking. “I want you to suffer too,”

 

No.

 

He shook his head, wanting to retract his words. She was his everything.

 

She is his everything.

 

He doesn’t want her to be upset.

 

He doesn’t want to see her frown.

 

He doesn’t want to see her cry.

 

But it wasn’t fair that he was still hurting while she was happy.

 

Why couldn’t he bring himself to hate her, to get over her?

 

He closed his eyes tightly, just he has every night since that day in the coffee shop.

 

He tried to think of their fights, the days when she wasn’t his everything, anything that get him to hate her.

 

The way that she would comfort him.

 

Hug him.

 

Kiss him.

 

Her smiles when he would disagree.

 

The way she looked at him as if he was the only person in the world, the only person in the universe, he never wanted to leave her.

 

The way she would call his name with that sweet voice, he knew it would never be the same.

 

“Why don’t I hate you?” he said, his hair clenched in his hair. “Why do I still love you, Kang Miyoung?”

 

That’s the thing about Kang Miyoung.

 

No matter how pieces she had left his heart in, she was still the best thing that ever happened to him.

 

To Yoon Dowoon, she was beautiful.