Kiss you in the park

We'll meet up after dark

In your car with the backseat southern summer

Ignored all the missed calls from your mother 
 

And kiss me in the park

We'll meet up after dark

And we'll talk until morning hits the windshield

And paints yellow lines on the field 


It always ended up this way, but Yeji knew deep down that she wouldn’t have it any other way –– it felt instinctive by now, her left hand resting on the steering wheel of her red hatchback, silently sitting while parked on the curb, her head turned to the right as she looked out the window and waited for a certain someone to walk out the door and plop into the seat beside her.

A bouquet basket of pink orchids were fastened to the middle seat by a loosely maneuvered seat belt. They were her favorite –– and she was attentive.

A lot of things reminded Yeji of her, and for her own peace of mind, she often tried her hardest to ignore these passing pangs that came and went when she would see Jisu in almost everything.

After realizing she couldn’t avoid it, she instead learned to bear it –– when her thoughts directed her to Jisu, all she could do was stare at the polaroids lodged in her wallet and leaf through them with care, tending to them like gold leaves.

She whistled as she fiddled with the buttons of what Ryujin, her erstwhile teammate, called her “dad wallet” ––– it wasn’t Yeji’s fault that she wanted something small and easy to use.

High school was a series of memories made tangible by the stack of polaroids, and she would sometimes sift through them in her mind the way she sifted through the ones in her wallet. Sometimes she would stay up wondering what she would do differently, but couldn’t imagine how it would’ve turned out if she changed anything at all.

There it was ––– the taller girl had her arms around the smaller girl’s elegant but sharp shoulders, embracing her from behind, attaching herself to the other girl by the cheek. They looked happy. They were.

Their smiles radiated from the photo ––– bright and soaked in sincerity, Yeji smiling straight at the camera as Jisu continued to stare at her and grin, almost unaware of the bright flash capturing them in light. She looked to the window again, and began to reminisce, right from the first time she ever picked Jisu up in her little red car.

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2 YEARS AGO

The weather was chilly, and it was difficult to walk in this weather. This is what Yeji told herself, in the hopes that it would make sense when she said it out loud as her actual reason for being here, so it could maybe sound like a reason instead of an excuse.

If there was anything she hated more than anything, it was having to explain herself in detail. She wasn’t as good with words as Jisu was. She wasn’t as self-assured or graceful or as quick a talker either. She definitely didn’t realize that was as an effect and not a symptom ––– she was tongue-tied around Jisu.

The lithely built girl was always so poised and icy at first glance, which drew a broad kind of attention from all sorts of people. But what kept Yeji hooked by the collar was the way her face transformed into a warm, honeyed smile in a heartbeat. She often had to put her hands in her pockets and squeeze the soft lining against her palms as if she was cold, when she was just reacting to the sight of Jisu smiling at her, which became more frequent the more she’d catch Jisu staring back when Yeji discreetly stole glances at her.

Yeji looked into the rearview mirror, checking if every strand of hair on her ponytail was neatly in place or that her jacket wasn’t creased or stained while exhaling into her hand to check her hitching breath. Snow started to fall, and it was getting late. She directed her gaze back to the storefront. There she was, packing up behind the register.

It was Thursday night, and Choi Jisu worked Tuesdays and Thursdays at the bookstore after school until she closed up shop.

Yeji only learned this in gym class yesterday, Wednesday morning, when Jisu looked like she was about to doze off as she attempted to tie her shoes beside Yeji on the bottom most bleacher.

--

“Hey Jisu, are you alright?” 

“Hmm? Yeji?” Snapping back to life, Jisu straightened her posture. 

“You almost fell over…” Yeji furrowed her brow in concern. 

“I missed my bus home last night so… I had to walk home after work in the cold like an idiot. I’m fine though,” Jisu replied drowsily while sighing. 

“You… work? Where do you work?” 

“I work at the bookstore beside the park. I just started yesterday and didn’t realize I missed the night bus though… Rookie mistake. I’m not gonna take too long packing up next time,” she punctuated with a yawn and put her face in her own hands as she looked away before smiling back at Yeji as if to assure her she was alright, no matter how tired she looked.  “I’m honestly talking too much… sorry for the TMI. It’s okay, don’t look at me like that, you’re staring at me like you’re gonna bring me to the hospital. It’s only Tuesdays and Thursdays anyway. Plus it was my own fault...” 

Yeji only nodded, not wanting to seem overfamiliar, yet writing it to memory instantly. Jisu worked at the bookstore next to the park, and since Yeji had indoor football practice, she also had to go home late tomorrow… A detour wouldn’t be so bad. 
 

-- 

Here she was, smoothing her coat over, rolling down her window as Jisu approached the sidewalk, inching closer curiously and squinting to clearly see Yeji’s face despite the wind chill as she held her padded coat together.

“Yeji? Is that you…? What are you...”

“Jisu! Um… Do you still need a ride? Wait, come inside, it’s cold ––”

“Did you wait for me?” After firmly closing the car door, she cocked her head to the side as she asked the ponytailed girl in the driver’s suit with a soft, worried lilt.

“You mentioned you walked home on Tuesday night and… I just figured since it was on the way that I’d pick you up.” That was a lie. It was not on the way. Yeji gulped. “I had to stay out late because of practice…” Even though that was in fact not a lie, she instinctively looked away and started playing with her hair, as transparent as anyone who totally went out of their way to see someone would be.

“Well, you should let me make it up to you, then. Have you eaten?” Jisu then paused for a bit as if to think silently, and slowly turned to face Yeji with an apologetic smile. “Can I get you some dinner…?” Before Yeji could open , the smaller girl followed it up with an “I insist.”

“Well, if you do insist,” Yeji smirked back and wiggled her eyebrows as Jisu chuckled at her expression, arms swinging into a clap.

“What do you feel like eating?”

“Just some hot ramyun would be nice in this weather, don’t you think?”

While pulling up to park in front of a convenience store, Yeji wordlessly handed Jisu an extra scarf she had in the glove compartment a bit awkwardly, but quite cutely in Jisu’s opinion –– the latter beamed at her regardless and obliged, delicately and loosely putting it around her own neck. Yeji put her own scarf around her neck as well, before tucking it under her coat. They exited the car together, and Yeji waited for Jisu to walk alongside her before reaching for the storefront door.

They settle for a classic cup of ramyun each, Yeji immediately punching in a 3 minute reminder alarm as Jisu watched her meticulously time it as she chuckled to herself ––– this was definitely not the image she initially had when it came to Hwang Yeji.

On the football field, she was a star. She was the ace and the captain ––– the current record holder for goals in one season. People swooned at her and about her, and myths made themselves around her.

Jisu couldn’t believe Yeji went out of her way just to pick her up, but she absolutely wouldn’t and couldn’t complain ––– in a way, she also kind of imagined the moment in her head before, watching Yeji pull up to park in school in her little red hatchback under the trees, she wondered if she would ever get to see it from the inside, and here she was, sitting shotgun.

It still nagged at her though - what compelled Yeji to do this in the first place? 

Well, in hindsight, she was still nursing a cold from that walk home the other day, the weather was getting colder and her carelessness cost her an unnecessary amount of energy and time. She just didn’t realize Yeji really was paying attention when she mentioned it. She had no idea the tall, always casually neutral girl would even do anything about it at all - and the implications still thoroughly confused her - but again, no complaints. On the flipside, Jisu was always the kind of person who held her breath in case there was a catch.

“So… Why did you start working at the bookstore?”

“Would you believe me if I said it’s because of the 20% employee discount?” She sheepishly grinned, smiling with her eyes.

“I would want to believe you, but I, and everyone else in school all know your family… um... owns a tech company so… I was also just wondering why you needed to work at all.”

Jisu’s expression hardens for a few seconds, and then softens again. The change was always precise –– Yeji wondered how well she hid her actual emotions, but Jisu’s veneer seemed to crack a bit with the hard pointed question.

“There’s something I’m saving up for. I don’t want to have to use family money or even ask for it when I want things… It must sound weird but I guess I just want a bit more agency…? But also,” she chuckles. “The simple answer is I love reading.”

“I figured that was what you were gonna say. Your nose is always in a book and I always wonder what gets you to look up....” The way Yeji looked at Jisu after she said that made Jisu flinch and caught her off-guard. Her normally severe gaze melted into something that resembled yearning. But Jisu balled her fists and told herself not to read too much into it, just not to find herself disappointed.

Jisu had harbored a burning feeling that once felt aimless ––– when she saw Yeji, she felt every inch of her skin react to the wind, to the sun, wherever she was  ––– down to her fingertips and the soles of her feet, she knew what chills felt like, but this was something a bit different. The difference was the grinding in her stomach every time she found Yeji’s eyes bearing into her.

Jisu’s train of thought was derailed by Yeji loudly slurping the last mouthful of ramyun.

“Sorry…” She covered and wiped it with the base of her palm.

“That sounded really satisfying though.”

“Oh, trust. It really was. Thanks for dinner.”

“No, thank you for picking me up and bringing me home…” Jisu looked down at her lap, feeling slightly embarrassed that Yeji, who hardly knew her (or so she thought) went out of her way to be this kind to her. “Really. You didn’t have to.”

“Don’t thank me yet, I haven’t brought you home.” Yeji broke into that smile again, her eyes folding into cute crescents. “Do you want to go home now?”

“Not yet…”

“Hmm?”

“Maybe we could stay here for a while.”

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ONE YEAR AGO

Yeji pulled up into Jisu’s driveway, tapping away nervously on the sides of the steering wheel as she looked out the window once more. Earlier, they were greeted by a big green gate that automatically parted as they rolled in. Jisu wasn’t just rich. She was mansion rich. Automatic gate rich. And obviously, she knew this, but there was always something to be surprised about.

There was a fountain, an immaculately kept garden, and her driveway was meticulously paved with patterned stones. Her gaze turned to the big window by the door, with the daylight shining into the unlit chandelier, where she saw Jisu hurriedly go down the spiral staircase with a fancy leather duffel. She hears another door loudly close as a tall, blonde, and just as lithely built girl ran to follow her in a snug red baseball hat, a giant backpack, and shades too big for her face that were almost as distracting as her big smile shining with excitement. Yeji immediately knew she was the little sister she always talked about.

Yeji was so distracted by the scenery and her thoughts that she almost forgot she had two other passengers in her car –– Ryujin had fallen asleep in the front seat beside her, and Chaeryeong was unfazed by her surroundings, earphones plugged into her ears while playing some sort of rhythm game. The competition season just ended and they were all sort of tired and relishing the onset of summer vacation, but Yeji still had to find a polite way to wake Ryujin up and kick her out of the front seat without sounding or looking suspicious, but everyone else would have been deaf or blind not to see that Yeji was nervous about it. Instead, she stood up from the driver’s seat and exited the car to help the siblings load their bags in the back.

Jisu was dressed simply, in a white t-shirt, denim shorts and a big jacket that swallowed her small frame, and as she registered the sight of Yeji walking towards her, her first instinct was to drop her bag and run towards the taller girl and envelop her in a tight hug as she slightly lifted her feet off the ground and shifted all of her weight into the hug, which left Yeji red in the face, even as she lifted and twirled the smaller girl around instinctively, not really wanting to let go either, oblivious to the young, widely grinning bystander who picked up the bag on the floor and lugged it into the back of the car herself. It was only when the soles of Jisu’s feet hit the ground and the two began to peel themselves off each other did the younger girl loudly clear , leaving the older girls flustered and aware of how they looked in the moment.

“Yeji, this is my little sister Yuna, she’s starting high school next year and when she heard we were going camping she begged me to let her go too, so…”

“No worries!” Yeji offered her hand to the tall girl who was mischievously grinning at her. “Nice to have you join us, Yun––” Instead, she was pulled into another tight hug.

“Yeji-unnie! I’ve heard a lot about you from Lia-unnie! I’ve been looking forward to this weekend all summer! I even bought a camping bag, see? I’m so excited! Wah!” The younger girl, however, quickly let go and beamed at her while putting her bag in the back as well, as her older sister apologetically looked at Yeji.

“My family calls me Lia…”

“Lia…” Yeji liked the way it rolled off her tongue, the way she saw this new side of her that people hardly saw. The name fit her.

“When I spent a few years in Canada, I…” Jisu brushed her hair back with her hand and looked at the car parked beside them and back at Yeji. “I’ll tell you all about it later.”

“Okay, cool,” Yeji grinned back at her, and then blanked out as if remembering something as she panicked and ran to the car door by the front passenger seat. “Ryujinnie, do you mind moving to the b––”

“Already here, lovergirl.” Ryujin smirked as Chaeryeon