Shivering on the hospital bed, Leeteuk pulled the blanket up till his shoulders. He was tossing and turning trying to get some shut-eye. The fan was on max speed, which his friends forgot to turn it back down before they left. Leeteuk pressed the button to call the nurse. He would get up and adjust the fan speed himself, but he was told by the doctor he shouldn't move too much. The nurse came in and adjusted the fan.

"Thank you for helping me. Do you know what time it is?", he asked.

Visiting hours end at 8 pm. He was told that it was almost 3 a.m. in the morning. He had been trying to fall asleep since his friends left but couldn't. His mind kept recalling the doctor's words; "You'll get back your memories as the days go."

Have I lost most of my memories? He pondered. He remembered his family members, but it took him a while to remember some of his friends. Certain memories from the past would pop up randomly from time to time. Just this morning, his friend, Heechul, had visited and explained to him that they had been friends for almost half their lifetime. He would just smile as Heechul told him stories of them in the past. Leeteuk would remember some of the stories, but not all of them. Seems like his brain could selectively recall memories. The doctor has explained to Heechul in-depth about Leeteuk's condition but Heechul couldn't grasp the scientific jargon mentioned. The only thing he knows is that his friend, for now, only remember certain things.

Twisting and turning for a few more hours, Leeteuk finally fell asleep. He had been in the hospital for several weeks. His shoulder blade popped out and his left arm was in bad condition due to the car crash. Thankfully, those injuries had gotten better in his course of being in the hospital. He was in critical condition when he first came in through the ER that very night. The only main concern now is his brain's capability to remember. Almost every day, whenever his friends aren't busy, they would visit Leeteuk. It took some time but eventually, Leeteuk remembered bits and pieces of his memories.

A few months had passed as the doctor monitored him. The doctor said he could discharge because his injuries had healed and that his memory seemed to be fine by then. Leeteuk went back to his life as he had been doing before the accident occurred. He got the hang of hosting shows again and went back to being busy as he usually had. Being the host of a lot of shows, Leeteuk found himself so busy. He couldn't find time to hang out with his friends. He decided to call up his friends for dinner one day when his schedule was less busy.

Leeteuk, Heechul, Hyukjae, Siwon and Kyuhyun met for dinner at a restaurant they usually go to. At the restaurant, Leeteuk was telling his friends about how crazy the accident was. Since he can recall his memories now, he explained in detail how the feeling of being flown off the car seat felt like. They were amazed that he could remember the details but still wondered if he had fully recovered from his memory loss. The five of them were close. If Leeteuk had fully recovered, they would expect him to mention one name. One person that had caused him to speed on the night of the accident.

"I think he doesn't remember it all yet", Hyukjae whispered to Siwon.

"We should keep it that way...", Siwon responded.

"Glad you can recall all your memories now, Hyung", Kyuhyun told Leeteuk and patted his back.

Leeteuk could only smile. He felt better now that he could spend time with his friends. He looked down to his now empty plate. He felt someone staring at him. He looked over to the other table. There was a man sitting by himself. The man quickly looked away when Leeteuk looked at him.

"Do we know that guy?", Leeteuk whispered to his friends. "He keeps looking at me."

The four subtly looked over. They recognised the mysterious guy, but they hesitated to tell Leeteuk the truth.

"I guess he's a fan of your shows.", Heechul finally spoke. He signalled Hyukjae to head to the restroom.

"Anyways, nature calls.", Heechul stood up from his seat.

"I need to go to the restroom too." Hyukjae followed his Hyung.

On the way to the restaurant bathroom, both of them looked at the guy from the other table, as though signalling him to follow them to the restroom. The stranger did follow them, out of sight from where they were seated.

"What are you doing here, Hyung?", Hyukjae asked the mysterious man.

"Leeteuk doesn't remember you. It's best we keep it that way", Heechul told him sternly.

"I just wanted to see him. To see if he's okay. I can't live not knowing how he is doing after what had happened.", Youngwoon said softly, almost tearing up.

The three men stood at the corridor where it leads to the restroom. Keeping their voices low, Youngwoon kept asking how Leeteuk was doing and whether he had fully recovered. Heechul tried to keep the conversation short and insisted Youngwoon should leave the restaurant. Amid their conversation, Leeteuk came around the corner which caught them by surprise.

"Oh hi, Hyung", Hyukjae said in hopes to not sound weird. "We were just going."

Heechul, Hyukjae and the stranger walked away separately.

Leeteuk made his way to the restroom. That's odd. Were they talking to each other? he thought to himself.

…

It was getting late. The restaurant was about to close. The workers were cleaning up. They called it a night and decided to head back home. Hyukjae, Siwon and Heechul had to wake up early the next morning as they had work. They bid their goodbyes. Hyukjae sent Kyuhyun home while Heechul and Leeteuk followed Siwon. Siwon had offered to send them both home. Leeteuk could have driven himself but the doctor insisted him not to - in case any traumatic flashbacks occurs when he drives. He was still being monitored by the hospital. As the three men head to Siwon's car, Leeteuk saw the same man from the restaurant. Youngwoon was standing in the streets in his hoodie. Leeteuk approached him.

"Hey, who are you?", Leeteuk asked Youngwoon.

Heechul and Siwon stood behind Leeteuk as if they were his bodyguards. They were worried about what Youngwoon might say.

"I'm Youngwoon. Nice to meet you.", Youngwoon said as he gently smiled.

"Oh, are you a fan of the shows I host?", Leeteuk asked him, now feeling proud of himself as he is recognised in public.

Siwon and Heechul looked at each other. They gave out a sigh of relief but was unsure how to react to seeing their friend like that. It's confirmed that he hasn't gotten his memories back fully. He didn't remember who Youngwoon was to him.

"Yes.", Youngwoon replied simply. He looked at the Siwon and Heechul sheepishly. Playing along, he quickly ended the conversation and left. "Nice meeting you. Continue working hard. Bye", Youngwoon left as soon as he said those words.

Leeteuk continued looking at Youngwoon as the man walked away down the streets.

"I knew it. He's a fan.", Heechul said as he grabbed Leeteuk's shoulder. "Let's go home now."

Leeteuk followed his friends into the car. He kept thinking about Youngwoon. Something about his face seems familiar but he can't put his finger on it. His friends would usually remind him of people that he knew but they said he was a fan. Perhaps he is just a fan, Leeteuk thought to himself.

-

A few days had passed, things were back to usual. Leeteuk had been busy as ever with his schedule. Since that night at the restaurant, Youngwoon had been in contact with Heechul. Not that Heechul wanted to, but he feels that updating Youngwoon about Leeteuk would be better than him going out of his way to check on Leeteuk himself. His texts to Youngwoon were cold but it gets the job done. He was uncomfortable with it but felt it was necessary to protect his friend. He cursed and scolded Youngwoon regarding what had happened. All the cursed words were thrown at him. He deserved it, after what had happened to Leeteuk. Youngwoon was in pain. He couldn't live with the guilt. The only way that would make him feel better was to know that Leeteuk is doing well in life.

The night of the accident was Youngwoon's baseball match. Leeteuk has been really busy with his work that he couldn't come to support Youngwoon during the match. This was always the case. Leeteuk never did came to any of his matches. However, that one night, Leeteuk decided to surprise Youngwoon. He had rushed to the baseball field after work to surprise him. He felt bad that he had not been supporting Youngwoon as much as he would like to. Upon arrival, the baseball match had already ended. Leeteuk headed straight to the locker room. He knew that Youngwoon would be there as he likes to take his time to cool down after a match. Leeteuk went into the room. The rest of the baseball team had gone home, the locker room was quiet. He saw Youngwoon in a heated embrace with another man.

"KIM YOUNG WOON!", Leeteuk shouted. He kicked the locker door. His heart was shattered by the sight of seeing the man he loves being caught red-handed.

Youngwoon quickly got up from the bench. The man he was with quickly went out from the locker room, leaving him behind.

"I- I can explain.", Youngwoon stuttered. He approached Leeteuk and wanted to calm him down, but his touch made Leeteuk madder. Leeteuk pushed him to the lockers.

"Don't ing touch me!", Leeteuk bellowed. His face was wet from the tears and his veins were prominent. He went berserk and punched the lockers until his knuckles bled. Youngwoon tried to stop him. He wanted to explain himself but before he could, Leeteuk had already run out. He went straight to his car and drove off. Youngwoon couldn't catch up to him. He watched as Leeteuk drove off, leaving him alone at the field.

Leeteuk's vision was blurred from the tears in his eyes. His hand continued to bleed as he gripped tightly onto the steering wheel. He stepped on the accelerator. His white Maserati was at its maximum speed... The rest was history.

Youngwoon felt a sharp pain in his heart every time he recalled that night. He had to explain to Leeteuk's friends on what happened before the car crash. Heechul blamed him for Leeteuk's rash act. His friends couldn't forgive Youngwoon and they wanted him out of Leeteuk's life. Knowing that Leeteuk lost his memories, his friends had been protecting him from remembering Youngwoon. They want what's best for Leeteuk and what's best is for Youngwoon to not remind him of the heartbreaking pain.

Never again will he meet Leeteuk after that night at the restaurant. Never will he have the chance to explain himself. Leeteuk's friends would not let him near Leeteuk again. All he can do now is watch him from afar. Maybe he'll stop pestering Heechul on the updates one day. The guilt he will have to carry for the rest of his life; the man he loved no longer remembers him, and he was the one that caused it.