the hands of the clock moved slowly, making the girl drumming her fingers against the desk impatient. she wanted to get out of class already. and time wasn’t helping.

 

“sooyoung,” her teacher called. “are you, perhaps, bored of my teaching?

 

sooyoung nodded with a blank expression. it was obvious. the teacher’s question only irritated her because you can clearly see that sooyoung was bored out of her mind. she didn’t have enough time for this bull. sooyoung already knew most of what they were learning.

 

her teacher sighed, crossing her arms to her chest. “at least pay attention. you have 10 more minutes till dismissal.”

 

sooyoung shrugged, straightening her back as she looked out the window. and she saw the last thing she didn’t want to see. a smiling girl with an ice cream cone in her hands. the girl had bangs with red hair. and there was another girl, next to her with a big smile as well. sooyoung put her face in her hands, trying to tell her mind that she didn’t need jiwoo. she was strong without her. jiwoo was just another person she dated. nothing special.

 

but her heart failed. a piece of it cracked and flew away. jiwoo was her everything. and she still is her everything. everything would be okay if jiwoo were still here. sooyoung could handle seeing her with another girl. but it still stung her eyes, her heart pumping with love that she couldn’t even return back to jiwoo.

 

sooyoung got bored with jiwoo. she got bored with everyone whom she played with. but jiwoo was different. sooyoung felt her walls crashing down until her mind said something her heart didn’t. it was all the same. the same cycle for sooyoung. meet a person, be their friend, date them, play with their heart, and break up with them until sooyoung got bored.

 

jiwoo changed sooyoung. she changed sooyoung’s heart and her ways. their long lost relationship that piled with sooyoung’s other broken relationships made sooyoung think about her actions. in conclusion, it made sooyoung stop toying with others. 

because she met her soulmate and lost her just from a simple sentence.

 

—

 

sooyoung sat on the bench, the same old cat sleeping under it to hide from the sunlight. a brunette next to her was texting someone on her phone—probably her girlfriend, sooyoung thought out of jealousy.

 

“unnie,” the girl started. “do you have any love tips?”

 

the brunette asked with curious eyes, knowing that sooyoung was the school’s playgirl. sooyoung sighed, ruffling her hair before looking at the brunette. “hyunjin. do you love the girl that you have right now?” sooyoung asked, scratching her nape.

 

hyunjin nodded.

 

“well, keep her if she’s the good in you that you don’t,” sooyoung said, her voice shaky. “keep her if she’s the only one sticking around while the rest are gone. keep her if she’s the main reason why you feel good as everyday.”

 

sooyoung could’ve sworn that she felt a hot tear slide down her cheeks. “keep her when you find that she’s the one who manages to build you up everyday.” sooyoung inhaled deeply, wiping the tear that left her eyes. “keep her if you find yourself going to her when you need that little boost when you’re feeling like .” the heartbroken girl said, thinking of jiwoo more and more as the conversation continued.

 

hyunjin had her jaw wide open, shocked from the sad outburst from sooyoung. sooyoung was supposed to be tough, brave, and cool from other’s eyes. but now, hyunjin saw the vulnerable side of sooyoung.

 

“because if you leave this girl that’s given you everything because you’re just “bored” of the same old thing..” sooyoung clenched her fists. “you may never find yourself as happy as you were when you were happy with her.”

 

the tears finally leaked out of sooyoung. her breaths getting cut off from her crying. she didn’t even notice how hard she was crying until she heard her own hiccups. hyunjin patted the girl’s back, staring at sooyoung in concern.

 

“like ,” sooyoung yelled, looking down at the little droplets that stained the sidewalk. “i still wish she was still around.” 

 

she couldn’t help herself except just cry and cry, gaining the attention of the students on campus. of course she attracted people—they had never seen sooyoung cry. nobody ever seen her cry.

 

jiwoo’s expression fell as she looked at sooyoung from afar, feeling bad for the girl. her girlfriend, jungeun, frowned, grabbing jiwoo’s wrist before taking her away from the sight of sooyoung.

 

“you never truly realize how much you love something until it’s gone.”

 

“she was special. she was one of a kind, hyunjin,” sooyoung’s voice cracked. “jiwoo gave me everything she could and i was too blind to ever notice the little things she’s done for me. she will always—“ her hiccup interrupted her. “—have a special place in my heart.”

 

“i was so stupid to let such an amazing woman slip from my fingers. i regret letting her go, hyunjin. so ing much.” sooyoung cried out, her grip on the bench tightening to the point her palm turned red. “i hate seeing her happy with someone else. i wanted to be the only one to make her happy.”

 

“she was my girl.”

 

the small puddle that was under sooyoung’s feet slowly started to disappear, the concrete absorbing it. “and now..”

 

“i can’t even get her back.”