The whole day was just like another day for me. I was running from one place to another place; clearing up all my back logs and replied to a thousand emails (felt like it!). And I was looking to have a nice dinner before heading home.

At 6pm, I finished up all my emails and flagged those required to complete the next day. That was my usual routine and I usually sat down and thought of tomorrow’s schedules. I usually prefer to plan even before tomorrow comes. Somehow it made me feel in control of my work. I like that feeling.

I only managed to leave office around 6.15pm and was heading towards the bus stop as usual. I was fine; from the time I left the office; got onto the lift and till that moment I crossed over the traffic light. All was fine and normal. I was breathing normally. No headache; no giddiness.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, like as though I was strike by lightning, my world spun before me. I couldn’t stand properly; the surroundings kept swirling in front of me. I closed my eyes shut and then something struck me.

, am I getting a heart attack now?

Nobody was around except for me. And I couldn’t understand how it happened; or why it happened. There was no prior warning; nothing and I was scared to death. I managed to grab hold on the lamppost. I gripped tightly before I pulled out my phone.

And it was funny, at that point of time, all I could think of was you. You, who came into my world unannounced and got me dragged under your spell. I was caught helplessly in your web, but I never had the chance to say my innermost feelings.

I’m working as a business development manager at an investment and insurance company. My whole life revolves around insurance and investment. I have been in this line for the last 15 years. I enjoy it but never did I realize that I was slowly reaching my saturation limit.

And I have wasted my last two years with you. I mean, you’re beautiful, cute and adorable. Sometimes you’re the happy pill in the office. Looking at you just makes my day brighter than it already was. I love you having you around with me.

And I know I could have been in love with you. Or rather, I was falling in love with you. But I never told you. Reason why? You belong to someone else.

And I felt stupid because you were stolen right under my nose. I could have been standing right by your side now, but I lost because I was too late.  But you, you were still right here; by my side. At times, when you sat next to me, watching me close and sometimes your gaze was just too strong to overcome.

“What?”

“What what?”

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“You’re so charming when you concentrate so much. And I love watching you mumbling to yourself and curse and swear at your laptop for lagging too much.”

Then you beamed with the brightest smile in the universe. I mean, I know you were being sarcastic, but I ended up smiling because of you. But even before I could reciprocate, you would just disappear behind the door once you see her coming.

Yes, her. Your girlfriend, your love and your everything. Your other half; your heart and your happiness. I was never close to that. I would watch how you would approach her quietly; wrapping your arms around her waist and steals kisses when she wasn’t concentrating.

God. And it killed me all the time when she would pull you by the collar and kiss you really hard in front of everyone. Everybody in this office envies you. Envies both of you.  And I’m just a jealous colleague who is stupid enough to let you slip from my grip.

But I was grateful; thankful that you never wander away despite having her by your side. You would still go out lunch with me; talk to me and treat me like how you always do. And your girlfriend doesn’t seem to mind when you lean close to me or when you hug me because the air con is too cold. She doesn’t seem to care because she’s my best friend.

“Yongsun unnie, I’m heading off somewhere with Wheein for dinner. Do you want to join us?”

Of course not. I’m not strong enough to watch you two being lovey dopey in front of me.

“No, it’s okay. You can go ahead.”

“Are you sure, Unnie? You know we can send you home.”

“It’s okay, Wheein ah. I’ll be fine.”

“Text me when you’re home.”

Yeah, I will. I always do, Wheein ah. Yes, that’s what I would always do. Wheein insisted that I should text her every day. She’s confusing sometimes but I know I’m nowhere in her heart.

So, after they left, after everyone had gone, I was the last one to leave office. And then, that happened.

-

I could hear someone asking me if I’m fine; or if I require something. I don’t even know where I am; who that person was and whatever happened to me. The next moment when I opened my eyes; I was in this ambulance; paramedics hovered above me. I was awake and conscious.

“Are you feeling okay? Can you hear us?”

“Yes, I can. Can I sit up?”

“Do you feel light-headed?”

“A little bit but I feel like throwing up now.”

“Okay, hang on.”

The paramedic officer helped me up and adjusted the stretcher so that I can lean back. They checked on me; did some simple cardiovascular checks and finally convinced that I was not having a heart attack. But the blood pressure was too high.

“You might have been stressed out for a moment. Let me check your blood pressure.”

And then it was back to normal. But of course, they didn’t let me go so easily. I was wheeled in for ECG checks and then sat in the waiting area to see a certified doctor. Waiting period was such a I tell you.

While I was waiting patiently and almost dying because my head felt so heavy, I heard someone calling out for my name. I was in the wheelchair, so I struggled to move around. Then someone pounced on my back.

“UNNIE!”

I looked over my shoulder. A familiar face was peering on mine and her hands were all over me. She was touching my forehead; my neck; my back and my limbs.

“Wheein ah, you’re scaring Unnie.”

Another voice could be heard.

“SHE SCARED ME FIRST!”

Yes, Jung Wheein came. She came with her girlfriend, Moonbyul and Hyejin, my other colleague from a different department. Apparently, they were having dinner together.

“Wait, how did you know I’m here?”

“YOU CALLED ME!”

Damn. . Did I? I couldn’t recall though.

“You were mumbling and then you scared the out of me when you said you’re dying and then there was a loud thud and the phone went dead! I had to call back and some kind soul said you fainted, and the ambulance was there to rush you to the hospital!”

I could see tears pooling in her eyes; her burrowed eyebrows and concerned eyes. I didn’t know I called her. Suddenly, I felt guilty when I realized I scared Wheein that night.

“I’m sorry. I just happened to press the last called number.”

“No, don’t say sorry. I’m glad you called me. What happened? Are you okay? Did they put you through all other tests?”

But before I could answer her, Wheein was already running off to look for a nurse. Moonbyul followed her and Hyejin stayed behind with me. She sat next to me; holding my hand tightly. Her eyes were full of concerned.

“Are you feeling better, Unnie?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You scared Wheein tonight. I have never seen her so nervous and she was tearing up while Moonbyul drove us here.”

“I’m sorry, Hyejin ah. I didn’t mean to scare you or the girls. I didn’t know what happened.”

“What was the pre-diagnosis?”

“I’m stressed out. My ECG is fine; my other tests were fine. Then when they took my BP again, it went down to normal.”

“Geez, what did you do before you left office?”

“I’m not sure. I was doing the same old thing. The stress must be piling up because I have many datelines lately.”

“I’ll talk to your boss. You should rest for the next few days.”

I nodded and then leaned back against the wheelchair. I wanted to doze off before Wheein pounced on me earlier on. Then minutes later, I saw her rushing back to me. Apparently, she got a full report of my condition and I could finally see her relaxed.

“I have spoken to the nurse who attended to you earlier on. They said you’re probably stressed out over something.”

“Yeah, I’m fine now. Don’t worry so much about me, Wheein.”

“I can’t. I have to.”

She was whispering at the last bit, but I could hear it clearly. What does she mean by that? But my name was called, and it was my turn to see the doctor. Wheein volunteered to follow me in while the other two girls waited outside.

“Hi, I’m Dr Hwang. Tiffany Hwang. Please sit over here.”

Wheein pushed me closer to the doctor. Dr Hwang is pretty. Really pretty. And I think I was staring at her too much.  She did a thorough check before looking through my medical records and reports. Then she smiled.

“You have a history of hypertension which you might need to look at.  See a doctor for that. Can you do that for me?”

“Sure.”

“And I’m sure your girlfriend here will ensure you do that.”

Girlfriend? I looked over my shoulder. Wheein was nodding her head.

“I will, Doctor. Don’t worry.”

-

The whole experience in the A&E took 2 hours before I was discharged. I found it ridiculous that I waited for almost 1.5 hours just to see a doctor and another half an hour to get my medications. But I couldn’t say much. At that point, I was still feeling woozy.

“Byul unnie, can you send Yongsun unnie home? I’ll stay with her tonight.”

“Sure, I’ll get my car. Hyejin?”

“I drove here. I will get home myself.”

Hyejin turned to me and then knelt in front of me. She smiled before caressed my cheeks lightly.

“I’ll visit you tomorrow. Just rest well at home, okay?”

Hyejin and Byulyi went off to get their cars while Wheein waited with me. I was still feeling giddy and I couldn’t think much. I was practically leaning to my side because my head was still heavy. Then, I felt Wheein reeling closer to me before she pulled my head against her.

“Rest here. You’re struggling to keep your head upright.”

“It’s okay, Wheein.”

“No, just do it. I’m really worried for you.”

I didn’t say much as she rested my head against her chest. It was comfortable; too comfortable but I couldn’t hold my head up either. The moment my head hit something soft, I closed my eyes instantly.

I could feel her fingers running through my hair as she held my other hand tightly in other free hand.  I think she stood like that for almost 10 minutes before Byulyi came with her car. They helped me into the car and Wheein chose to sit in the back with me.

“Lie on my lap.”

She said softly and didn’t wait for me to reply. Again, I was too concussed to do anything. I couldn’t really fight against her because I felt like I was floating in the air.

“Unnie is still not okay.”

Wheein spoke up; I could hear her although my eyes were closed.

“You intend to stay over at her place?”

“Yes, she lives alone. Nobody is going to look after her.”

“Okay, I’ll bring over some clothes for you.”

“We can drop by my place and pick up some.”

An hour later, I finally reached home.  Byulyi helped me to the sofa. I opened my eyes slowly and I could see Byulyi’s worried gaze.

“I’m fine, Byul ah.”

“You scared us tonight.”

I lowered my head, apologetic. It was not never my intention to worry them. But it happened and I couldn’t control it. But Byulyi didn’t say much; she just kissed my forehead and then she left, leaving Wheein with me.

Wheein was busy moving around my apartment; I didn’t really check what she was doing.  I closed my eyes as I buried my face against the sofa cushion. Minutes later, I probably fell asleep because she shook my arms gently.

“Unnie?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve prepared your sleeping area. Come, let me take you in.”

“Okay.”

She supported my arms and brought me into the room. She gently pushed me to the bed, and I snuggled under my blanket. It felt at home; extremely comfortable because it was my own damn bed. And when I was snuggling under my blanket; I felt an unfamiliar warmth next to me. I turned over and I saw Wheein lying next to me; her gaze was fixated on me and I felt a little overwhelmed with the burden of her deep gaze.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m looking at you.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why are you here with me? Won’t Byul be jealous?”

She scooted closer and pulled me into her arms. She wrapped her strong arms around my waist and then leaned her forehead against mine. She sighed softly.

“We broke up a week ago.”

My eyes were wide open. I wasn’t aware of that.

“We just couldn’t go past whatever feelings I have been growing for you. Things just went awry, and she understood that no matter how much I tried to work it with her; it was futile.”

“But.. how.. what…”

I just couldn’t complete my sentences and stammered like a fool. She cupped my cheeks with her palms. Then she gently grazed her right thumb across my lips. She smiled softly.

“Silly unnie. I like you for the longest time. But you are so difficult to read. Sometimes I wonder if you ever liked me and you have never confessed before. Honestly, I’m attracted to people who confess first.”

I pouted before looking away.

“But I guess I can do it first because god knows when you will ever open your mouth and tell me that you love me.”

“What?”

“Kim Yongsun, I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?”

Kill me. I wanna go to heaven right now.

-

The next few days were blissful. Wheein becomes my girlfriend that very night.  It felt so surreal because I wasn’t at my very best condition. But Wheein took good care of me; she literally moved in with me and half of my home space has become hers.

Im not complaining though. I’m just happy that she’s here with me. And of course, her annoying pesky Mr Ggomo. He has issues with me. Wheein had to squeeze him on her side while she hugged me to sleep.

Like hello, your bed is on the floor. But no, Ggomo is the boss of the house now. I didn’t have much say on that either. I was lying on the sofa while watching television. Ggomo the jumped on my stomach and shamelessly sat on my stomach.

I looked at him; he stared at me; I raised my eyebrows and he gave me the rest face. Then he closed his eyes a couple of times before he decided to get comfortable and slept on me. It took me by surprised that he was this comfortable with me, but I just let him and continuously pet him on his back.

While all that, I didn’t realize my girlfriend was watching us from the kitchen doorway.  Her gentle gaze and her soft smile melted me immediately. I motioned to come over since I couldn’t move because of her feline son. She sat on the sofa; scooted closer before she lifted my head and rest gently against her lap.

She then bent forward and gave me the softest and gentlest kiss I ever gotten from anyone. And my hands were holding on to Ggomo tightly; in case he falls off or something.

“He’s being a jerk today.”

“You must be really warm. He likes warmth.”

“I guess so. Does he do this all the time?”

“Only to you. He has never done this to me.”

“Oh?”

I looked down to where the cat was sleeping and slightly purring as I gently massaged his fur.

“I saw him blinking his eyes a couple of time means he trusts you. Cats do that when they trust people. He’s letting his guard down when he’s with you.”

“Oh. So, my charms work on this little guy eh?”

“I guess so. Because you’re the person I love the most. He must have realized that.”

“Don’t worry, I love you and everything of you including this jerk here.”

“Thank you, Unnie. Thank you for loving me.”

“I should be thankful to you. I’m so grateful that you chose me.”

That very night, I carried Ggomo back into our room. I put him on my side while Wheein squeezed next to me this time. After ensuring Ggomo is in good place, I turned over and faced his mom instead. I gently tucked her under my chin, and I wrapped my arms around her protectively.

She sighed softly before leaning up to kiss my cheek. I felt contented having this woman in my arms. And she has been watching my diet; taking care of me and ensuring that I get plenty of rest. Oh, apparently, Byulyi is dating Hyejin. The night I collapsed was the night Wheein introduced Hyejin officially to Byulyi. I felt sorry for destroying their union.

But of course, Byulyi told me not to think stupid and Hyejin warned me not to be stupid. Both complements each other. They just didn’t give a about others. So, now we went out double dates often. And Wheein was the sweetest girlfriend I ever had.

“Wheein ah, I love you.”

“I love you too, Yongsun.”

“Stay with me forever.”

“I promise I will.”

-

I stayed awake just to watch her sleep. Everything about her is magical. Watching her breathe; hearing her whine in her sleep when I pulled away from her embrace and her eyes flickering while she was dreaming – I wanted to capture these moments every night for the rest of my life.

My life changed from that blank moment. I could have died. I could have just gone without telling her my feelings and how I felt about her.

I recalled the night she confessed.

“Kim Yongsun, I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?”

I didn’t answer her immediately. I was still in a mess and I was pretty much woozy and jiggly all over.  I couldn’t even remember what happened. Her confession came so fast that I thought I was dreaming.

“Wait, this is reality or a dream?”

She pinched my sides and I jumped on the spot.

“What do you think?”

“I’m still intoxicated.”

“I know but I cannot wait any longer. When you called me just now, my heart dropped to the floor. My whole world sank, and I just wanted to be next to you in that splits second. I think I drove Hyejin and Byulyi crazy as I went berserk; worrying about you. I spoilt that date union night.”

“Date union? What?”

“Tonight, was the night I introduced Hyejin officially to Byulyi. These two have been dancing around me and I found out that they like each other.”

“Didn’t Byulyi like you?”

“Unnie, we broke up a week ago. We broke up amicably and no, Byulyi doesn’t hate you. We are all adults now. If we don’t work out, we should just move on before we start to hate each other. But you, unnie, I fell in love with you instead.”

“I’m sorry, Wheein. I had a very bad relationship; we were together for 5 years before she decided to call it quits. I loved her all these years, but I got nothing eventually.”

“I understand. That’s why I didn’t tell you. But now, unnie, I cannot afford to do that anymore. What if you just suddenly leave this world without me telling you anything, I’ll regret for the rest of my life if that happens for real.”

“I like you, Wheein. And I’m willing to explore more than just the surface. I know I like you to a certain extent and perhaps it has been slowly evolving into affection. But can you give me some time to recover? I’m still worried about my health.”

“Of course! I’ll be the one to ensure that you will recover in no time. But you will not be pushing me away, right?”

“No, never. I need you now; more than ever. Stay with me, Wheein. Let me love you from today onwards.”

“My heart is yours. Just yours.”

And that night was perfection. Nothing came close to describe my happiness but Wheein is. Wheein is my everything.

I leaned closer and kissed her forehead.

“I love you, Jung Wheein.”

I swear with my heart, I really do.

-