May 17, 2019. The sun gleamed upon her ebony hair, warming her head, almost like it was hugging her. Her straight, waist-length hair folds into tangles with every breath of wind. Birds chirped in their usual tunes. She stared off into the innocent, white clouds dancing across the sea of blue skies with her almond-shaped dark brown eyes, wondering and wondering, “It’s such a beautiful day, but why am I the only one like this?”

“Did you say something, Lia?” Jackson asks without looking up from his textbook. Reality pulls her back in, and her ears now catch the surrounding chatter. She adjusted herself, wiping away an unknowing tear.

She responds quick on her feet, “Yeah, I asked you why you waited till lunch to finish your Pre-Calculus homework?” not realizing that Jackson did hear her talking to herself earlier.

“Why don’t you mind your own ing business.”

“Woah, what happened? You didn’t get your morning wood jacked off or what?” she asks, taken aback.

Jackson sets down his pencil onto the wooden bench, runs his fingers through his light brown hair exhaustedly, and looks at her with all seriousness. “You don’t get it. The teacher’s a psycho.”

“Cute. Now what’s the real answer?” Lia asks while looking down, playing with a dead leaf she found on the ground.

“I was playing League of Legends with the guys till 3 in the morning. So now if you could just help me with number 13, I’ll love you forever.” He breaks off into his usual goofy grin.

“Oh, so that’s why you look like . I’ll help you, just ew, don’t say that.” She throws the leaf to the side. “However, this’ll come with a cost.

“You know I’m broke.”

Lia straightens her back and turns her body towards him, clearing , “Ahem. One roast section.”

“Ughh.” He rolls his eyes in her. Jackson shimmies his hand through his jean pockets and fishes out his phone. “Alright, 15 seconds.” He hovers his fingers over the screen. “Go.” The timer began.

“Hmm. Your hair looks like a victim of a forest fire, your face looks like a wrinkled butthole, you look like a National Geographic special, and your clothes look post-apocalyptic as fu-”

“And time,” Jackson called out, cutting her last word off, “Nice, you added new ones. Also, I love you, too.”

“I will kick you in the nuts so hard it goes through every organ and flies out of your mouth.”

“So you do wanna touch me. Awwwe.”

“Ewwwww.” Lia wrinkled her nose in disgust and lets out a chuckle. She grabs the textbook off his lap and the pencil at his side. Jackson stares at Lia, glad that he could distract her from her previous thoughts and make her smile, and unknowing of the smile forming across his face.

Barely beginning to read the problem, Lia hears a familiar voice from a distance that brings her back to mournful memories. It amazed her that through the maze of other student’s voices she recognizes one so clear. Looking across, she sees Brittany on Mark’s lap, giggling, making out, and exchanging “I love you’s” at a table under the school gazebos, just like they used to. What once was her sweet melody, now sounds distorted and disgusts her.

They fell in love that winter, or at least she did. January 2, 2019. “Hey, Mark. I like you,” she confessed her feelings to him over text like any other clueless school girl. Even someone as smart as her disregarded all the clear red flags, the rumors, the constant growing list of broken hearted girls, and the warnings Jackson told her whenever she told him about her feelings for Mark.

None of that mattered to her when he responded, “I like you, too.” Lia finally experienced what the characters in the movies and novels felt. Over the remaining winter break, he invited her over to his house whenever his parents were away. They watched Christmas movies, sipped on hot cocoa, baked gingerbread men together, and played in the snow. All of it was sweet like candy. After the first week and a half, Mark told her, “I love you.”

She felt like flying and the world looked so beautiful in an instant. “I love you, too.” By the end of winter break, he got her to do other activities with her. He promised her it would be alright, that it’d only hurt the first time, and that he’d use protection. Out of love and trust, he became her first.

School began and ice began melting away.

“Hey, where are you?”

“I’m busy. I’ll talk to you later.”

Lia missed their hour-long calls. The days passed, getting warmer and warmer, and the ice melted away completely.

March 28, 2019. Walking out of AP Calculus, she spotted Ashley and Mark making out in front of the library. Jackson tried to block her views but it was no use, she saw what she saw. Hours to days to weeks. She spent her spring break crying with the rain.

May 17, 2019. Jackson traces the line of Lia’s eyes and spots to the two. He speaks out with a sigh, “Seems like he found his new booty-call of the month.” Hearing no response from Lia, he looks over and gives her shoulder a slight squeeze. “I told you to be careful.” An air of silence hangs between them as Jackson watches Lia watching them. “Are you okay?”

“That’s a great question.”  Not wanting to linger in the past any longer, Lia diverted her attention back to the math problem, practically forcing herself to ignore reality. “Here, you were supposed to multiply, not add.” Lia attempts to help Jackson finish his Pre-Calculus homework. She throws the book and pencil back on his lap.

“I knew that. I was just testing you,” Jackson unsuccessfully defended himself. He picked up the book and tried to finish what was left before the bell rang.

The summer breeze sent a green leaf twirling down to her lap; its sharp ridges, velvety silk surface, and knobby veins traced on the back completely contrasts itself, yet it’s so simple. A leaf. Holding it in her fingertips, she whispers to herself, “How come the four seasons change, but I don’t?”