You,

The moment we met on a trip to unknown parts of the world that we have never explored,
that we were in a team together, unknowingly. 
together, we explored the unknown with minimal knowledge,
together, trying to figure out which way was which,
together, we ultimately trying to not get lost. 

Your tall figure,
the one that towers over me,
one that brings me joy and comfort,
knowing you would always look after me. 

Your favourite sweet drink,
the one that everyone calls out for it is one drink that is in the trend now,
you brought me into this world of sweet drinks,
giving me the chances to enjoy drinks beyond what I'm used to,
and when you bought it for me,
you got me shyly giggling to myself each time,
because you bought me something that you love. 

I miss the times where we talked till dawn,
where we would both go to our colleges with heavy bags underneath our eyes,
and when people asked us, "What happened?"
we would both respectively smile to them and say, 

"Just had fun catching up session with a friend."

A friend.

We always associated ourselves with the general term, friends,
there wasn't anything beyond, nothing special. 
To others, it seemed weird,
but to us, oddly,
we never dared to cross the line. 

What were the chances?
that we both were afraid of the future,
that we both were afraid of loving,
that we both were afraid of losing each other?

But then,

you left, suddenly. 

I thought we had it all,
thought that we were fine at the stage where we were,
friends, yet not together. 

Your silence is like the cold winter breeze that never ends.
The cold wind blowing strongly at me,
and knowing that I will never be able to get warmth from your loving hugs.
Because through the blurred vision that I see,
I can never see your tall built, approaching. 

I can only now see you,
through the lenses of my phone,
the stories you post on Instagram,
the pictures that you took for me, and only me. 

Because, 
You went on to someone else. 
Someone else that is prettier than me,
someone else that has better academics than me,
someone else that probably gave you butterflies. 

Maybe, 
I am so hurt that I start to illusion, 
starting to understand and finally realise,
I am no longer someone within your reach. 

Maybe,
We were never meant to be, 
that our friendship was just pure friendship,
and that I was just looking over the boundaries, 
imagining the unknown "what ifs".

Maybe,
it was just never meant to be. 
That I would be hurt, alone,
while I see you going off to someone else. 

Thank you,
for the moments we talked,
for the times I cried to you, 
because I was afraid of the life challenges. 

Thank you, 
for letting me in into your life for the brief moment,
for allowing me to like new things, experience new moments,
because without you, I probably would have never watched any Marvel series movies or drank bubble tea. 

Thank you,
for allowing me to imagine a life with you,
for allowing me to experience something so close to love,
because without that, I might have aimlessly always thought of the "what ifs".

Thank you, my love, my dearest 4 letter code, my silly encounter. 
I can't officially say goodbye to you, face to face, so writing my goodbye here seems better, I assume. 
Goodbye you, because I love you, I'm willing to let you go, because your happiness is what matters,
even if it means that I can never be by your side from now on. 
Be good to her, never let her feel what I am experiencing now,
because I know you're a good person,
someone that knows how to treat a lady like a queen, 
yet, 
you could never be my king.