#5yearswithkrisho

‘Confirm purchase?’

Junmyeon presses his lips together in a thin line by the affirmation. He glances over at the list of options he has ticked once again, just in case. Tall… Foreigner… Caring… Talents? Ah, yes, four languages… What else? Hm… That’s all, I think. Using his thumb, he taps the green ‘Yes’ button below the confirmation without thinking twice. He has just purchased a humanoid which is illegal in his country but he needs a company so bad.

He doesn’t want to be involved in a committed relationship because all of them have made him traumatic to be in one again. He just needs a friend. Junmyeon can’t trust anyone anymore. He then sets an alarm before settling his device beside his pillow. The curtains are drawn open. Junmyeon stares at the dark sky outside once he is on his bed. A few days later, he won’t be the only one in this lonely apartment. A smile shoots up to his mouth just by the thought.

+++

It’s Sunday. Junmyeon doesn’t have to go to work. He checks the tracking website for the umpteenth time. A special courier service is supposed to send the parcel to his apartment today. Even though it clearly shows ‘Item is out for delivery’, Junmyeon keeps refreshing the page. He doesn’t have anything else to do so he keeps repeating it for ten minutes straight. The doorbell goes off before he hears two knocks on the door.

Junmyeon scrambles for it. A guy a few inches taller in a black suit bows lightly. Junmyeon does the same, albeit observantly because he has never seen a delivery man wearing such… Costly clothes. The guy is still by the door as he explains the terms and conditions with a dumbfounded Junmyeon listening and nodding to everything he says. Junmyeon holds in a squeal once he catches the massive package behind the delivery man. This is real. This is happening.

The black suit guy helps him to place the huge human-sized box in the middle of Junmyeon’s small apartment. When he’s finally alone with the parcel, he begins to cut the tape here and there with precision. Once that’s done, Junmyeon stares at the box. He’s going to open it now. Kneeling next to it where the supposed human robot’s head is, he detaches the carton with shaky hands, nervous. One second passes. One minute passes. Junmyeon can’t stop staring at… It. He’s in awe on how it looks so… Human.

This is definitely worth his money.

Everything appears humanly authentic. Soft black hair. Thick brows. Sculpted nose. High cheekbones. Long chin. Plush lips. A flush invades Junmyeon’s cheeks so badly. He never knew a humanoid can look this good-looking. He’s obviously satisfied with his purchase. It’s fully clothed with simple jeans and a dark green polo shirt so Junmyeon doesn’t have to freak out after moving the whole box away. He gets up and picks the piece of paper, which is the guidebook, from the couch and returns to the same spot.

The guy didn’t tell him he has to kiss it to make it come alive.

Junmyeon shifts his gaze from the paper down to the object he has illegally bought, pondering deeply. Is it even going to work? Should I give it a try… ? His heart rabbits in his chest as he leans downwards slowly to it, his eyes closing on the way. Junmyeon swallows when his lips fully touch against the humanoid. It absolutely feels like a real human. He backs away once he hears a noise coming from it.

He catches a light forming from the humanoid’s torso before he averts his gaze to its face. Junmyeon swears he has never seen such a beautiful pair of eyes before. The human-robot sits upright, still in the box. Its neck makes an odd metal noise as it faces him. Junmyeon swallows the lump in his throat, blinking at it soundlessly as it keeps staring at him. It looks so human. He’s internally freaking out.

“Hello.”

Junmyeon melts inwardly by how smooth the gentle voice is. He can already feel himself swooning. “He-Hello.” The robot reaches out its hand towards his face so fast until Junmyeon is caught off guard. He blinks stupidly as it caresses his cheek very, very tenderly. Junmyeon can’t believe its skin even feels like a human. “You’re blushing,” It says with perfect Korean and Junmyeon swears his whole face turns warm by the comment. “Uhm,” He retreats from its touch as he takes the manual again, bringing it close to his face, “Your name is—”

“Yifan. My name is Yifan.”

The paper lands on Junmyeon’s lap as he gazes into Yifan’s mesmerizing dark hazel orbs. He indeed ordered a foreign humanoid. Junmyeon clears his throat, giving Yifan a small smile, “My name is Junmyeon.” Yifan smiles and Junmyeon is very sure he’s melting right now. Yifan is charming when he smiles. For a split second, he thought he was talking to a human being. The humanoid doesn’t look like a robot at all. Junmyeon is literally a puddle of goo when Yifan cups his cheek again. 

“You’re cute when you blush, Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon is unable to do anything as he simply stares at the beautiful humanoid of his.

+++

Junmyeon can’t sleep. He spent his monthly paycheck tonight by buying clothes for Yifan. The humanoid has pecked him on the cheek and hugged him with a soft mumble of thank you. Junmyeon doesn’t know how to feel about it. The soft press of lips is still lingering there on his cheek. Every time he comes home from work, Yifan is by the door, always greeting him with an embrace. Junmyeon will just stand there, frozen.

He has never liked it whenever Yifan is too close but as days go by, he doesn’t seem to care about it anymore. It has been three months. Indeed, he isn’t feeling lonely anymore but he hasn’t been sleeping well ever since Yifan has been living with him. Junmyeon doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to be an idiot for having feelings for a humanoid. “Junmyeon?” Said male lets out an unmanly squeak. Great. Now he has to turn around and talk to the robot.

Sleeping is the way Yifan charges.

The humanoid will usually close his eyes, like a real human will do, and then he will charge himself. Junmyeon now regrets letting out a sound because he has to talk to Yifan. “Can’t sleep?” Junmyeon foolishly turns around to face the taller. “Hey.” Yifan is smiling so sweetly once he sees him. Junmyeon feels his cheeks burning and he doesn’t like it. “Is it okay if I hug you to sleep?” Junmyeon dumbly nods, not wanting to speak. He blinks when he senses Yifan’s arms slowly snaking around his body.

He swallows when the human-robot scoots closer until they’re chest to chest. Junmyeon does a mistake as he peeps up to the other. Yifan has that sweet smile again. “Is this okay?” Embarrassed, Junmyeon mushes his forehead against the taller’s chest, “Un.” He wonders why his heart almost bursts in his ribcage just a second ago. Junmyeon shuts his eyelids close, his fists settling between their bodies as he takes a deep breath.

Yifan is just a robot.

He shouldn’t be affected.

Yifan can’t feel like humans do.

He mustn’t fall for him.

Yifan is just a friend he bought to empty his loneliness.

But Junmyeon’s heart is telling him something he doesn’t recognize yet.

+++

It has been six months. Junmyeon has a great problem. He has harbored a crush on the humanoid. It can’t be helped when Yifan is the most lovable robot-boyfriend. Everything Yifan does has him swooning. The thing is, Junmyeon is uncomfortable for having feelings for a human-robot. Does Yifan even feels the same as he does? Now that he thinks about it, he’s certain he does because he was technically programmed to love him.

He stares at the figure next to him, sitting so straight as the robot watches the television with an impassive face. He just had his dinner with Yifan accompanying him in silence until he was done. It’s always awkward but Junmyeon doesn’t have the heart to tell him to go away. He exhales deeply, his head starting to hurt. He caresses his hand against his shirt when he feels a few throbs from his heart. Ignoring the pain, he turns off the TV and calls Yifan to sleep.

+++

Yifan has never gone outdoors. The taller never asks too. Junmyeon is worried that if he did, people may be suspicious of him so when he spots Yifan literally waiting outside his workplace, soaked under the rain, his heartbeat gallops with extreme fear. The shorter hastily takes out his umbrella before dashing towards the drenched robot who’s at the other end. He’s angry as he questions to the smiling Yifan, “What are you doing here?”

Junmyeon’s frown fades when Yifan cradles one side of his face ever so kindly, like always. “I saw the news yesterday and they said we’ll be having a rainstorm. I thought it’ll be safer if I bring you home.” Junmyeon melts when Yifan plants a kiss on the corner of his mouth. He nearly loses his hold on the umbrella. That’s the closest he has ever gotten. Yifan has never kissed him square on the mouth yet. A loud chorus of gasps breaks Junmyeon from his thoughts.

He unintentionally pushes Yifan away a bit too hard before skimming behind him. Yifan follows his gaze and watches a group of people observing them but they’re mostly ogling Junmyeon. A scowl appears on Yifan’s face for the first time. “Are they making you uncomfortable?” Junmyeon doesn’t notice it as he grabs Yifan’s arm, walking away from the people, “No. You’re the one who’s making me uncomfortable.”

Yifan firmly tilts his head, peering down to the smaller even though they’re walking, “Why am I making you uncomfortable, Junmyeon?” Junmyeon groans in his throat. Isn’t it obvious? He fastens their pace when the rain starts to gush down out of nowhere, thunder and lightning occasionally flashing the darkening sky. “Junmyeon,” Yifan calls amiably once they’re home to where Junmyeon only snaps, “What?!” Yifan doesn’t flinch as he asks the same question again, handing the smaller his towel, “Did I make you feel uncomfortable?”

Junmyeon fumes as he snatches the dry towel from the taller’s hand, “Yes, you did. Always sticking close to me everywhere I go. You even came to my workplace! What if people saw you?” The robot’s head sideways, “What’s wrong with that? I’m your boyfriend, right?” Fury colors Junmyeon’s face. Doesn’t Yifan get it? “No. You’re not. In fact, I don’t even like you. So stop following me around!” The human-robot emits a sound Junmyeon has never heard before.

“You don’t… Like me? I thought you love me…. ?”

Junmyeon turns away to hang the towel on the stand before rushing to his bedroom, his anger concealing the truth, “I don’t love you, Yifan. You’re not a human. I bought you because I needed a friend.” His shoulders jump when he hears a loud buzz behind him. Junmyeon swivels around and his eyes widen. Yifan’s irises are turning into bright white before returning to its original color. They keep on changing as Yifan takes unsteady steps towards him.

There’s a bright light revealing from the left side of his torso, one second there before its gone and then its there again as if… As if a heart is beating. Junmyeon can’t believe what he’s seeing. “You don’t… Love me… All these times… ?” Junmyeon is silent as he watches how… Hurt Yifan is. He takes a step backward when Yifan falls on his knees, his dysfunctional orbs never leaving his.

“But I… Love you, Junmyeon…”

Junmyeon’s heart stutters in the strangest way ever. Yifan has fallen flat on his chest on the floor with a loud thump. A few minutes pass. Yifan doesn’t move at all. Junmyeon timidly approaches the humanoid with careful steps. He’s on his knees, a few feet away from the lifeless figure. His hand shakes just like the first day he opened the parcel. Junmyeon’s fingers make contact with the taller’s damp hair, calling weakly, “Yifan… ?”

There’s no reply.

Junmyeon starts shaking Yifan’s shoulder as he nears him, calling him again. There’s still no answer. Junmyeon releases a small gasp. Yifan’s eyes… They’re pitch black. Water clouds his vision. No. This isn’t happening. “Yifan, wake up,” He chokes on his tears as he violently jerks the other’s body, “P-Please, wake up!” No response. Head ducking down to Yifan’s head, he sobs pathetically in silence.

“The manual,” Junmyeon mumbles to himself as he springs up. Getting up on his feet, he rubs the tears away as he clumsily searches for it. Junmyeon messes up his small apartment from the search. He snatches it to his hold after it’s found under a pile of magazines before fishing out his phone from his bag. He dials the number which is written on the top right away. “HR speaking. How may I assist you?” A wave of relief washes of Junmyeon’s body.

He stumbles to the fallen Yifan, eyes automatically filling up with water as he explains, fingers combing Yifan’s damp hair. “We’ll send an agent to check on him right away. He’ll come before evening.” A string of gratitude leaves Junmyeon’s mouth before he ends the call. He drapes his body across the unmoving human-robot. He regrets his rage from an hour ago. Junmyeon was only worried Yifan would be seen and it irked him when Yifan didn’t understand what he meant.

Evening comes.

He never leaves Yifan’s side. Junmyeon can’t carry the robot to the couch so he covered him with a blanket to look like he’s sleeping. He holds Yifan’s cheek with his palm as he caresses the cold silicone skin with his thumb, sadness wrecking his heart. He really regrets what he has done. He should have told Yifan the truth instead. Junmyeon runs to the door when the agent arrives. It’s the guy in the black suit from the other day.

Junmyeon doesn’t say anything but only giving him a nod after confirming him the humanoid’s model number. He witnesses the man touching Yifan’s nape before pressing onto something. A click is heard before a small thin square opens from it. Junmyeon peeks over from the couch and sees the male holding a tiny thing with his fingers as he inspects it. “What happened?” Junmyeon fumbles with his words as he avoids the other’s gaze, “I… He was…”

The agent seems to sense his hesitance so he stops Junmyeon, “He has completely shut down because the chip has burnt. This never happened before… Anyway, he needs to be reset where I’ll replace a new one but that only means he needs to start over with no previous memories. Do you wish to proceed or do you wish to request a refund?” Junmyeon blinks multiple times by his explanation. Did he hear it right? Start over? No memories?

Does that mean Yifan won’t remember a thing from these past six months?

“Mr Kim? Do you need more time? I’ll wait outside for you to—”

“Do it.”

The agent looks at Junmyeon, a bit startled. Junmyeon’s lower lip trembles as he reconfirms his decision. The guy nods before excusing himself to take his belongings. He returns minutes later with a thin black briefcase. Junmyeon’s legs go weak after suppressing himself from crying so he slumps onto the couch. He observes the agent fixing Yifan with a blank face. He covers his mouth from letting out a sob as he thinks about starting over.

Six months of memories…

They’re simply gone from Yifan just because of his fault. Junmyeon will accept his feelings for Yifan. He won’t get angry at him anymore. He can’t risk losing Yifan’s memories again. “All done.” Junmyeon is right next to the humanoid within a second. “He’s technically all new again just like the first day you bought. You know how to bring him alive, I assume?” He nods, looking away from the agent momentarily, “Thank you so much. The payment—”

“No need. 1106 is still under warranty. You’re free to call me if anything abnormal happens.”

Junmyeon nods again. Once he’s left alone, Junmyeon breathes in deeply as he heads next to the lying Yifan. His eyes brim with tears as he leans in to press a kiss on Yifan’s mouth without further delay. A familiar buzz is heard and Junmyeon waits after pulling away, feeling jumpy. Yifan’s hazel orbs meet his. “Hello.” Junmyeon grins like an idiot by the familiar gentle voice but then, he sobs. Yifan is alive again but he doesn’t have the memories from six months they have spent together.

He’s surprised when a hand cradles his cheek. The robot is sitting like him, gaze fixed on Junmyeon, “Why are you crying?” Junmyeon sobs harder in silence as he covers the taller’s hand with his own, his tears falling fast. He can’t seem to answer Yifan’s question. His chest twists with guilt as the humanoid stares at him with wonder which is so human-like. “What’s your name?” Yifan has taken his hand now, holding it to his lap.

Junmyeon struggles but he manages to utter out a proper reply albeit stammering, “I-It’s Junmyeon.” His tears are wiped away with tender. Junmyeon holds in a cry as he looks down at their hands. He only notes the size difference. “My name is Yifan.” Junmyeon fights the urge to say ‘I know’. “If I hug you, will you stop crying?” Junmyeon doesn’t know what to answer. He doesn’t have to though because Yifan has already pulled him close to his sturdy chest.

Junmyeon’s body quacks as he weeps once Yifan’s long arms securely envelop around his body. “I’m here now, Junmyeon. Please don’t cry.” It’s no use at all because Junmyeon can’t stop crying. He ends up clutching the back of Yifan’s shirt as he lets everything out, the humanoid not saying a thing but simply being there for him. When he wakes up, he’s on his bed. Blinking his eyes for a moment, Junmyeon ponders how he got here. Did he sleepwalk?

“Awake?”

He jerks with surprise by the deep voice above him. He looks up and sees a smiling Yifan. His heart skyrockets by their proximity. “What—” Yifan leans in speedily with a little tilt of his head, pecking on his mouth, completely shutting up Junmyeon. He reddens awfully as if he has just gotten his first kiss. But it’s his first kiss with Yifan. “You fell asleep after crying. I was worried,” Yifan brushes his bangs away from his forehead and rubs circles on the smaller’s temple with his thumb. He cried his heart out until the exhaustion affects his whole body.

Now, Junmyeon’s head hurts and all he wants to do is just sleep.

“M’ tired,” He slithers his arms around the taller’s middle, smiling widely with tears once Yifan does the same. “You don’t want dinner?” Junmyeon shakes his head, sighing into the humanoid’s chest, “Will wake up if I’m hungry…” Yifan leaves a kiss on Junmyeon’s forehead this time before succeeding to make a small gap between them, “Sweet dreams, Junmyeon.” Junmyeon plants a kiss on Yifan’s cheek before hiding into the firm chest, blushing wildly. Yifan has a pleasant smile on his mouth as he rubs Junmyeon’s back until the smaller sleeps.

+++

Junmyeon coughs again. He heaves for air moments later. He tries lying on his back but it becomes worse. His throat burns and it hurts. Yifan cradles his cheek to face him once he’s sitting next to him on the bed, “You said you’ll be okay. It’s been three months, Junmyeon. You’re getting even more terrible.” Junmyeon sends a weary smile up to the taller while holding Yifan’s hand on cheek, “I’m fine, really.” Yifan brings the smaller’s hand up to his face. He presses his lips on each of Junmyeon’s knuckles, causing Junmyeon to flush.

“Based on my memory, you’ve said that line almost a hundred times so I strongly conclude you’re definitely not fine.”

Junmyeon sighs, his eyelids closing tiredly. He can’t win over Yifan. For a humanoid, Yifan is such a worrywart. He lays on his side after drinking a glass of water. Junmyeon winces when his chest starts to throb. Yifan keeps combing his messy hair with his long digits, hazel eyes never leaving on the small figure. Ignoring the little aching thuds to his heart, he pouts up to Yifan as he catches the other’s hand, “Cuddle with me…” Yifan instantly complies, already lying next to him.

He stares at the confused Junmyeon, arms not around the smaller yet as he asks, “Which position do you prefer? This or—” “The one you always do every night,” Junmyeon makes himself comfortable as he snuggles into the taller’s chest like a cat. He releases a loud sigh when long arms finally hold him close, surrounding him with warmth. Real warmth. Junmyeon easily gets cold and he complains about it to Yifan months ago. Right after summer ends, Yifan switches himself into a warmer mode so it’s like Junmyeon was hugging some sort of a giant heating pad.

Every night since then, he sleeps with ease because of Yifan. Junmyeon cherishes every single moment with him ever since he was fixed. He isn’t hostile whenever Yifan is near him anymore. Junmyeon welcomes Yifan’s kisses, his touches… And also intimate nights. Even though sometimes it hurts the fact Yifan doesn’t remember anything from the six months spent together, Junmyeon makes sure to make it up to him without letting Yifan know about it.

He starts coughing again and this time, he feels lightheaded. Yifan rubs his back soothingly and encouraging words slips out of his mouth for him to breathe. “Hurts,” Junmyeon whines against Yifan’s chest, his own shirt so hard where his heart is as he hopes the stinging sensation to go away. Yifan tries to help as he raises a hand and presses his palm against Junmyeon’s nape, spreading warmth. A satisfying hum travels across the silent room.

“Better?”

Junmyeon is all smiles as he stares up to the robot, orbs glazed with sleep. That answers Yifan’s question and he returns it with a sweet one. Sometimes Junmyeon thinks Yifan isn’t a humanoid. Everything about him is so human-like. The way he uses a gentle tone whenever he reminds Junmyeon to take his painkillers. The way his brow rises when Junmyeon doesn’t want to get up from bed on the weekends. The way he kisses Junmyeon so slowly and so… Sensually.

Ever since Yifan has been reset, there’s one new thing in his system. Every time they kiss, Yifan automatically recharges. Junmyeon guesses the agent has implanted a new chip in the robot. “You should see a doctor, Junmyeon.” Said male groans in his throat, sleep gone like magic, “I thought we talked about this… I’m not going.” He listens to their clothes rustling before his face is raised gracefully. “But your heart is beating way fast than a normal human’s.” Junmyeon knows but he lets it be.

He can’t afford the hospital bills if something is indeed wrong with him because he spent half of his bank account on buying Yifan. Of course, he won’t tell anything to Yifan about it or else he will make a fuss. Yifan sure is considerate for a robot. He lazily snakes his short limbs around Yifan’s neck, “That’s because you’re next to me.” It’s lame and he knows it but Yifan somehow buys it. Junmyeon’s gaze drops to Yifan’s mouth and Yifan catches it, “Do you want me to kiss you?”

The smaller nods shyly, feeling the other’s movements against him within a second. Yifan’s lips slide gingerly against his. It will be always slow at first but as Yifan charges up, the kiss intensifies. Junmyeon loves it the most when Yifan adds pressure on their mouths while pulling him closer. There are light grazes against his scalp and Junmyeon hums in delight, tilting his head unconsciously. Yifan slows down and before Junmyeon can even whine, Yifan sandwiches his bottom lip before it softly.

Tingles of delight spread throughout Junmyeon’s body. Yifan knows how to set the pace and Junmyeon simply melts with everything he does. He parts away first once he remembers Yifan doesn’t need to breathe but he needs to. His heart hammers rapidly in his chest as he pants heavily. Junmyeon’s face is flaming. It turns hotter when the lips trace along his jaw and further down to his neck. Junmyeon’s eyes flutter close as he relishes the neck kisses, catching his breaths in the meantime.

“Yi… Yifan, ngh,” He whimpers softly as Yifan nibbles under his ear ever so deeply, feeling the adrenaline rushing in his veins. His breathing is labored once again as Yifan stamps more little bites here and there, completely riling him up. “Not tonight,” Junmyeon declares bashfully when he feels Yifan’s warm palm making contact against Junmyeon’s , his shirt tugged upwards until his torso. The humanoid promptly pulls the fabric down before cradling the smaller in his arms again. 

Junmyeon seems to have problem breathing as he still heaves for air even after a few minutes have passed. “Did I go too far?” Junmyeon shakes his head with a chortle. He can’t believe Yifan is a robot. Just how human-like can he be? Sometimes he wishes Yifan is a real living being. The thought always shreds him apart so he tries not to think too much about it. “Kiss me slowly until I sleep… ?” Yifan nods, giving him the same sweet smile before attaching their mouths together.

+++

Junmyeon skips work for three days. He took Yifan’s advice to see the doctor but he didn’t. He only buys meds from the pharmacy and it’s enough for the humanoid to prove that he has indeed consulted a doctor. It has been a month. The coughing is gone but is replaced with a high fever instead. He sent a text to his supervisor already that he won’t be coming to work until he has recovered. It’s the fourth day. He wakes up by the sound of his phone, notifications of text messages going off.

He wants to shut it off but he doesn’t even have the energy to do so. Suddenly, it’s too silent. “Sleep.” Warm hand plants against his equally warm forehead where Junmyeon moans with agony, his head throbbing. “Hurts so much… Can I just die instead,” He sniffles, his hand blindly searching for Yifan’s free one. “Don’t say that,” Yifan winds their fingers together firmly, “I’ll be all alone…” Junmyeon honestly wasn’t expecting the sad response.

He sits upright on the bed despite the splitting headache, looking into Yifan’s hazel eyes. He leans forward and kisses on the taller’s cheek before resting his hurting head against the robot’s chest, “I’m sorry.” Yifan wraps him close with his arms, lips making contact with the smaller’s head, “Apology accepted.” A weak chuckle slips out of Junmyeon as he squeezes their clasped hands. “Let’s go out once this fever is gone,” Junmyeon mumbles after a long while, sleep drowning him in slowly.

“Are you sure, Junmyeon?”

Said male nods against his chest, “I wanna take you out because you never went out before ever since—” Junmyeon stops. He almost slips out the incident to Yifan. “Ever since what, Junmyeon?” Yifan frames his cheek and turns to face him. “Ever since you’ve been here,” Junmyeon smoothly covers up. He lays on his side and Yifan copies his action. “Let’s walk along Han river. It’s nice there now that it’s fall.” Yifan cuddles with him after he answers with a short kiss, “You need to eat more if we’re going to walk. You’ve lost a lot of weight, Junmyeon.”

The smaller snorts, “Nonsense. I just have no appetite, that’s all.” Yifan squishes him out of the blue until Junmyeon lets out a wail. He glares up to the humanoid, “What was that all about?” Yifan only smiles ever so sweetly, “Will you let me cook for you tonight?” Junmyeon blinks. He hasn’t acknowledged this fact before. “I’ve found a recipe to boost your immune system. It’ll make you healthier.” Junmyeon is so baffled for a few seconds but then, he giggles, “You’re so determined to shoo my fever away, aren’t you? What’s the reason?”

Yifan firmly answers, “I just want you to be in perfect shape when we go out on our date.” Pink invades Junmyeon’s cheeks by the serious reply. “Yifan, I’m not dying. It’s just a fever. It’ll go away.” Yifan doesn’t want to look at him. Junmyeon blinks fast. This is new. Junmyeon cradles the other’s jaw to face him. When he spots flakes of white in Yifan’s eyes, he panics. Is Yifan going to shut down again?

“Yifan, I-I’m going to be fine. You— Are you… Scared… ?”

Yifan never leaves his sight as he nods without a smile. Junmyeon doesn’t know whether to cry or be still. As far as he knows, humanoids are only supposed to love and care. He didn’t know Yifan has the ability to actually feel scared to lose him. He hugs Yifan around his waist and digs his fingers into the back of his shirt as if his life depends on it, already sniffling. Junmyeon has never felt so wanted before. He can’t believe a robot can make him feel appreciated.

“I won’t leave you all alone, Yifan…”

Yifan sweeps his hair with his fingers, giving him comfort as he senses the smaller crying, “Promise?” Junmyeon has tears all over his face as he perceives Yifan is normal again. Junmyeon smiles brightly out of relief. He can’t afford to lose Yifan and his memories again. “I promise.” Yifan rubs his tears away before smooching him until Junmyeon is all pink in the face. “I love you, Junmyeon.” The shorter connects their mouths again before parting away a little to cast a shy look at him in the eyes, “I love you more.”

+++

The date is all Junmyeon has imagined. Walking side by side while holding hands, enjoying the silence. The humanoid is witnessing the outside world wordlessly and if only he’s a real human, Yifan will have an amused expression on his features. The chilly wind brushes their face and thanks to that, their hair is all messy now. Junmyeon giggles as Yifan’s forehead is nowhere to be seen, concealed by his bangs.

He stands on his tiptoes, carding his fingers through the taller’s strands to style it up. “You look good,” Junmyeon mumbles shyly after he’s done. “And you look adorable,” Yifan cups Junmyeon’s pinking cheeks, giving him heat. Junmyeon is honestly grateful for that. They stop by in the middle of the pathway, taking a short break after a long walk. “Are you up for a dare?” A gleam of mischief light up in Junmyeon’s eyes. 

“What are we going to do?”

Junmyeon grins up to the taller, “Let’s see who will reach first to the end.” Yifan nods firmly, having a pokerfaced expression, “Any rewards?” Junmyeon thinks for a moment before he declares his reply, “The loser has to do what the winner says. Deal?” Yifan nods again, “Deal.” Both of them stand side by side. After exchanging smiles, Junmyeon shouts, “Go!” Junmyeon puts his everything and manages to pass Yifan.

He sticks his tongue out as he watches Yifan behind him. Within a minute, Yifan is right next to his side. Junmyeon glares at the taller’s back before looking ahead of him, ignoring the shortness of his breath. Unfortunately, Yifan has gone too far until Junmyeon can’t even see him anymore. “You stinky robot,” Junmyeon grumbles but lets out a laugh anyway, feeling somewhat childish for being upset over a little thing.

Without any warning, Junmyeon tumbles on his knees after feeling a strong jab to his heart. He feels it again and he clutches his shirt rigidly, tears misting up his view. He has one hand on the ground as he tries to breathe but it hurts terribly on each breath he takes. “Yifan,” Junmyeon can see his world becoming doubles as he lays there on the ground, heaving deeply like a fish out of water. His chest tightens and he nearly gags, unable to breathe, feeling the burning sensation flowing through his windpipe.

Everything feels like a nightmare.

Junmyeon eventually gives up getting on his feet. His throat and his lungs feel like they’re on fire. When he hears footsteps nearing, Junmyeon can’t even let out a cry. He musters every little energy in his body to say, “He… Help…” A deep intake of air is all he takes before he sees Yifan’s face hovering over his. “I’m here,” Yifan flips Junmyeon warily before sliding his arms below his knees and his upper back, casting a glance at him while smiling briefly, “I got you, Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon’s chest rises and falls dangerously fast, fingers clasping solidly into Yifan’s shirt as he tries to speak, “H-Home.” Yifan glances down, his feet never stopping, “But you need medical attention, Junmyeon.” The smaller curtly shakes his head, tears falling to the sides as he inhales deeply with difficulty, “Home.” Yifan gives him a stiff nod. Junmyeon’s condition is no different once they reach their apartment.

Yifan scans the screen of the keyless door lock with his orbs and it unlocks. He closes the door with his shoulder and speeds up to settle the smaller on the bed. Yifan exits the room and returns with a glass of water seconds later. Propping a hand underneath Junmyeon’s head, he rises it carefully as he nurses Junmyeon to drink. “In-Inhaler. K-Kitchen.” Yifan instantly heads out. He stands in the middle of the small kitchen, surveying every spot as he searches how an inhaler looks like in his system.

Once he finds a match, Yifan opens the drawer beside the sink and discovers it. He examines the product with a thin layer of red laser scanning it up till down. The details pop out in his system. It hasn’t expired yet. Hurrying back to Junmyeon, he sits next to him and takes his ha