Dear Hanbin,

If you are reading this letter, it means that you realised that there isn't any of my things in our house. I'm leaving. If you don't understand, I'm breaking up with you. Read this whole letter before getting angry.

I love you, I really do, that's why I'm letting you go.
With me by your side, you can't follow your dream.
I'm letting you go, so go with no regrets. I will always be there, rooting for you, somewhere in the crowd.
I can't move on, I don't want to, you gave me enough memories to remember, I'm happy with them.
You were my first crush, first love, first kiss, first everything, now you will also be my first break up. I don't know about the future but all I know is that you are not only my first but also my last.
Don't cry, I want you to give a smile, a real one. Thank you for everything, for loving me, for reaching out to me when I was having a hard time. We actually went throught too much together to just forget each other. Thank you for always being patient with me, thank you for being understandable. Thank you for being loyal and honest to me. You always respected me and my choices and I hope you respect this choice also. Thank you for giving me the chance to feel what it is to love someone, to be in a healthy relationship. Thank you and...sorry. Sorry because I don't deserve you, I was never good enough for you, sorry because I won't be able to come with you until the end. You are everything a girl could dream of, I never asked for a prince charming but I actually got a real one. You know that I was never the type to date, I planned my life on my own, after meeting you I wanted us to last, last long enough to get married, to have children, to be together when we will be old.
Now I'm just going back to my original plan so you don't have to worry. You know how I am, I won't fall for anyone in this lifetime except for you so there is no use of you hoping for me to move on. But you have to move on, you will probably meet some one better than me, and when you do, I hope you wil cherish her as much as you cherished and loved me.
Before going, I'm just taking some of your clothes with me to hold it when I will feel lonely or when I will miss you. And keep making music because that's the only way I can see you.
Don't drink to much because of the break up, you know that your limit is 2 cans of beer. Eat well, sleep well, don't over practice, you need to rest, the same goes to the guys. Tell them that I will miss them a lot, that it's all for the better.
If we meet again in our life I want to see you happy, that's all I want from you Hanbin.
If you miss me to much, just think back about our time together (that's what I will be doing), think about our first kiss, that will warm up your heart.
This letter is getting longer and longer, I was actually trying to make it short.
I will never say it enough but I love you. And I will miss you a lot, you really are like a drug to me.

Goodbye,
I hope that your road will be filled with flowers.

Live a long and happy life,
With lots of love and lots of kisses,
Your first love Y/N.