It’s raining.

What seems like a torrent of rain flows down the sidewalk, making muddy puddles and liquid craters. People make careful steps under their umbrellas as they rush to class. The skies are cloudy and there’s a chill in the air.

But Sojung stands still. She observes slowly. She observes how the water lands and slides off the sides of her umbrella. She observes the splashes that each droplet makes on the ground. She listens, listens, listens. The rain makes a loud, thundering noise, like a symphony, with the campus as the backdrop. She could stay like this for a while.

Life is waiting and she doesn’t want to be late again, though. So Sojung goes, with the rain to accompany her.

Rainy days always reminded Sojung of her.

--

The moment she steps out of class, Sojung’s hit by an urge to text her. Maybe she’s tired or hungry or lazy or all of the above, but her mind just can’t handle timezone calculations right now, so she pulls up her phone.

New York. 11:00 PM.

There’s a realization and a sigh that follows. Xuanyi’s probably asleep by now. Still, Sojung’s hand brings up their text messages and her fingers hover over the keyboard. Should she still text her? What if her phone isn’t on silent and it wakes her up?

Pros and cons weigh her mind like she’s doing a complex balancing act. Sojung never knew she was this impatient. Until this. This. Her mind whirs like it’s going under overdrive and she wills herself to empty her mind. It’s fine, she thinks. I’ll just text her tomorrow.

A moment passes. Then a beep. Oh. Sojung looks down at her phone and sees (1) new message. Without hesitation, she opens it.

Xuanyi <3

[12:11] Hey, just wanted to say good night, I love you <3

Sojung

[12:12] I love you too, good night and sleep well :)

The girl lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Something changes and she’s suddenly feeling much better. Still, Sojung chides herself for being so anxious.

It’s not the end of the world if Xuanyi didn’t text back.

(Although her brain has deceived her more than once).

--

 

When Xuanyi moved back to China, it was easier. Sojung had never been in a long-distance relationship before, but she felt like Xuanyi was someone she couldn’t give up on. They’ve been through their ups and downs together and at the end of the day, the Chinese girl was someone she couldn’t live without. So, long distance it was.

They used to call every other day, even if were a little while—Sojung never got tired of asking her how her day was, and Xuanyi was always happy to share. Sometimes, Sojung would miss her voice so she’d call just to say I love you, hear Xuanyi’s laugh and an “I love you too,” and hang up.

Sojung’s friends were worried at first, talking about their own experiences with long distance, but the girl just wanted to try. Xuanyi is someone worth trying for.

Xuanyi is charming, smart, and funny. Not that Sojung had high standards, but Xuanyi just seemed to check off all the boxes she didn’t know she had. When she asked Xuanyi what her favorite thing about her was, the Chinese girl would just smile. There’d be a look in her eyes that said everything and nothing at the same time.

“I like everything about you.” Her usual answer.

Sojung didn’t like abstract things; she wanted concrete answers. But Xuanyi wouldn’t be Xuanyi if she was straightforward. Knowingly, the younger girl would simply accept it, and feel the same warmth in her heart.

(She’s probably asked Xuanyi that question over 32 times. Or something like that)

But you know, nothing stays the same forever. Like her favorite show, Avatar the Last Airbender, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Sojung’s Fire Nation came in the form of an announcement: Xuanyi’s moving to America.

Her initial reaction, like most people, was one of happiness. Xuanyi had always wanted to live in New York, eat bagels every day, and live life in one of the biggest fashion cities in the world. This was her dream and she finally reached it. Of course, Sojung was happy. How could she not be?

But Xuanyi always saw right through her. Sojung’s congratulations sounded just a little stiff. Her eyes weren’t as bright as they should be, and somehow, a miniscule particle of hesitance was released in the air.

Quickly, Xuanyi reassured her that she’d still try to visit Sojung as much as she could and that Sojung should come visit her too. They would still text everyday and maybe call a little bit less, but nothing would change the two of them. And maybe they’d have to get pretty good at converting timezones but that was trivial. Everything would be fine.

And because Sojung always believed in Xuanyi, she believed her now too. Xuanyi was her world, and nothing could tear her away from her. Even if that “nothing” was the world.

If only life was that easy.

--

Days passed, weeks went by, and months trudged on slower than she would have liked. Xuanyi would be staying in New York for about a year. A reasonable amount of time, Sojung thought, no big deal. The first couple of weeks was hard. Like, Hard hard.

There’d be times where she would instinctively send her girlfriend a message, only to receive it was 1 AM where she was moments later. Sojung was okay though. She had lots of distraction around her, mostly in the form of endless projects, assignments, and presentations. Her friends took her out often, knowing she needed to get her mind off things.

The restlessness never wore off, but Sojung was managing. She suppressed her anxiety and things were gonna be fine.

The girl even took up a new hobby: painting. Somehow, it was therapeutic to her, even if the swirls on the canvas looked like children’s work. At least she could express how she felt in ways other than her song lyrics.

And so the balancing act went on. And on. And on. Until 10 months passed. Sojung was doing okay. Only two months left until Xuanyi returned to China, and things would be easier again.

That is, until Xuanyi told her she landed a job at some high-end fashion company. Here’s how it went:

 

Xuanyi <3

[3:02 AM] Sojung, guess what?!

I knew you had to be the first person I tell so guess what!! I GOT A JOB AT YUEHUA!!!!!

Okay so more like a paid internship but still!!! :D :D

Call me when you wake up! I have so much to tell you!!

 

And there it is.

When Sojung woke up and read the messages, it was a rainy day. How fitting, she thought.

How fitting.