https://youtu.be/ku00yvX1Ik8

Clear blue water, high tide, came and brought you in

And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will

Skies grow darker, currents swept you out again

And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone…

DAHYUN’S POV

It’s been exactly 3 years since I last saw her, last time I’ve talked to her, last time I’ve tasted her sweet soft lips brushing against mine; the bittersweet taste that still lingers in my tongue doesn’t help one bit because it still hurts the same. It hurts like it happened yesterday, like she just left my already breaking heart.

I could pretend like everything’s okay, that I’d moved on; but a happy smile can only serve as a mask to people who don’t know me at all. God knows Chaeyoung isn’t buying it at all. But she keeps quiet, knowing full well that it is my own way of coping. How could she not? She was my best friend since I could remember, a sister even, if you consider everything we’ve been through together. And she loved her as well.

Her.

My greatest love.

My biggest heartache.

“I’m heading out now Chaengie. Don’t wait up for me okay? I think I’ll be working overtime tonight”, I told her as I headed out the door.

I saw how she furrowed her brows, showing her concern. I know she’s got a lot of things to say. She’s been trying to get me to open up since everything happened, but she just respects me too much to do anything. It’s so not like Chaeyoung. Usually she’s the persistent type, someone who won’t stop until she gets things done. I guess it’s affected a lot of people more than I could imagine. Jeongyeon rarely even visits anymore, and I’ve never even heard from Nayeon since. Mina comes once in a while, mostly to comfort me and Chae. Tzuyu? I’ve never talked to Tzuyu ever since. I’d like to think that I still hate her like before, but I can’t really blame her. It wasn’t her fault that she was there to break her fall when I was too stubborn to catch her myself. I think I haven’t talked to her since because we just naturally drifted apart, our friendship long forgotten. I had thought about reconnecting with her, but what’s the use? I don’t think either of us is ready anyways.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna hang out tonight? Mina said she’s coming over. She’s bringing some of our favorite flicks. We don’t mind the company, we just want to you know…”, she stopped mid sentence after I hugged her for reassurance.

“I’m fine Chaeng.”

I wasn’t.

But I don’t wanna drag my friends any further down with me. It’s about time I face my own demons. But god it’s so hard to face them without my angel beside me.

God I miss you so much…

Flashback:

“Guess who?”

With soft hands covering her eyes and a sweet lemon scent engulfing all her senses, a smile crept onto Dahyun’s face as she tried to tease the older girl in return.

“Um… Jieun-eonni?”

She succeeded with the teasing, earning her a playful slap on the arm and a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Stop. That’s not even funny.”

Dahyun faced the older girl with a cheeky grin only to be met with a pouting face.

“You know I was only teasing. How could I ever mistake those soft lips for someone else”, Dahyun replied planting a quick peck into the older girl’s lips.

The older girl could only blush and smile shyly at the gesture.

“You know I love that shade of pink on you. It suits you so well”, Dahyun says smoothly.

“Ah… But my Dahyunnie is such a sweet talker huh?”, she answers back, not even bothering to hide her blush anymore.

With this, Dahyun takes her hand as she leads her to the rooftop of their apartment building.

“Come on! I need to show you something!”, she tugs at the older girl’s hand excitedly as they climb the stairs.

Upon arriving at the rooftop, they were greeted by the beautiful sight of Seoul’s evening sky. The city lights glimmered as brightly as the stars which were perfectly blanketed by the velvet sky; ironically complementing each other. The moon was shining in all its glory, completing the overall feel of the evening. Beautiful was an understatement. It was more of magical. All the more magical for Dahyun because of the special girl standing beside her on the rooftop’s railing taking in all of the scenery before them.

She saw Dahyun staring from her peripherals. She smiled but didn’t mind facing her when she spoke in her native tongue.

“The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it, Dahyun-chan?”, she said in Japanese.

Dahyun looked in wonder, “are you saying you like me?”

This time she faced Dahyun, wrapping her slender arms around her neck pulling her close.

“Take a guess…”, she answered while staring intently into Dahyun’s eyes.

With that, Dahyun wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her even closer (if it was even possible). She touched their foreheads together, not breaking their eye contact, as if asking for permission. A quick nod was all she needed as she crashed her lips to the older’s soft ones, eliminating any space left between them.

“Are you sure she’s okay? I mean it’s today right?”, Mina asked worriedly from the other line.

“I don’t know babe. She looked… empty. But I couldn’t stop her”, Chaeyoung answered through the phone.

“Then you shouldn’t have let her go Chaeng. You know how she breaks down without warning sometimes”, Mina replied.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. But I just can’t… We can’t force ourselves and try to fix her Mina. We could only be here for her while she heals herself. Dahyun’s stubborn. We all know it. Forcing ourselves to break through her walls is a futile attempt to get her to open up”, Chaeyoung answered sadly.

“I know… I’m just… I’m worried about her Chaeng. It’s been three years.”

“Me too Mina… But…”, Chaeyoung tried to answer as she held back her tears.

“I know. Please don’t… I’ll be there soon”, Mina said soothingly.

“Okay. I’ll see you soon. Drive safe okay?”, Chaeyoung replied before ending the call.

“I thought I told you to take the night off?”, Jihyo emerged from her office once she was notified that the pianist had arrived.

“I know Eonni, but I’ve got nothing else to do. Besides I need the extra bucks. Also, are you that desperate to get rid of me?”, Dahyun tried to joke but Jihyo saw the sadness in her eyes.

Jihyo shook her head as she answered with a sad smile, “You know you’re always welcome here. It’s just…”

Dahyun squeezed Jihyo’s shoulder to stop her from continuing, “Why does everyone worry so much? Stop worrying about me guys, I’m fine”, she tried her best to smile genuinely.

But Jihyo saw through it, she always does. It’s one of her gifts. But at times like this, she hated herself for being able to read people too well. She could only sigh in defeat.

“Okay then. Help yourself with the treats. I’ll be at my office if you need anything”, she answers the younger.

“Will do”, Dahyun replied before heading to the small stage.

Jihyo looked empathetically back at Dahyun one more time before retreating to her office.

In silent screams, and wildest dreams

I never dreamed of this…

Flashback:

“What’s wrong with you lately? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore”, Dahyun asked desperately.

“Please Dahyun. Not now. I don’t feel like talking. I’m just… I’m just tired okay?”

“You’re tired? Well that’s just rich”, Dahyun scoffed.

The older girl could only sigh loudly in return.

“Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be? You don’t want to talk to me? And here I am wanting for you to open up. I want to make things right, but you keep pushing me away. Why? What did I ever do to you? Am I not good enough anymore? What?! Have you found someone else? Is it because of Tzu-“, Dahyun bit her tongue before the name could roll out of it.

But she caught it and her blood boiled with the bitter accusation coming from the younger.

“SAY IT!”, she couldn’t hold it in anymore as she spat those words full of venom.

Dahyun flinched as the older girl shook with rage. Her warm doe eyes were filled with a mixture of anger and hurt. And Dahyun couldn’t look at them so she tried to avert her gaze.

“I dare you to say it to my face...” she started, tears threating to fall from her eyes.

Dahyun could only stare at the floor. Guilty, embarrassed and hurt. ‘How did it come to this’, she thought to herself.

There was a deafening silence before the older girl decided to break it, knowing full well that the younger wouldn’t dare to talk. It’s always been like that between them. She always had to be the one to confront the problem head on. She always had to be the bigger person. But she had to. She was older after all. More matured. More rational. And she hated it.

“You couldn’t say it now could you?”, she spoke coldly. “Tzuyu.”

Dahyun flinched once more as she heard the name. Hearing her most hated name pierced her heart. But she wouldn’t show it. She was stubborn. Everyone knew that.

“You really think this is because of Tzuyu, Dahyun? Really? Is that how you think of me?”, she scoffed before continuing. “To think you would’ve known me by now. After all these years…