The rain beats down rhythmically, pitter pattering against the roof like little bullets. The raucous sound of chatter and bubbling drunken laughter fills the small room. People in smart business attire surround a table with their ties loosened and blazers haphazardly hanging from the backs of chairs. 

When the door opens and a woman steps inside, light panting and drip drops of rain on her jacket from outside. She fixes her bangs quickly, a little damp and probably an untameable mess and takes a quick, embarrassed scan across the room. 

When her eyes land on someone familiar, it isn’t the one she was looking for. feels like it dried up completely and her soul immediately departing her body. 

How can a single glance make you feel like you’ve shattered into pieces all over the wooden floor?

“You’re here!” 

From the other side of the table, a figure gets up and moves towards the door. Son Seungwan is smiling and giving a small wave to her friend who seems to snap back into reality… or however close she can get to it. 

Thankfully, her friend doesn’t really notice the inner turmoil churning through her. 

“This is Seulgi, my friend.” She introduces to the room. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Seulgi smiles back and gives a polite bow towards the group of people on the table. “The traffic was really bad.”

“Come sit down.” Wendy’s hand is already leading her towards the table and her heart starts beating faster when they get closer to the person she doesn’t want to look at. 

She’s not a religious person, but Seulgi finds herself whispering every prayer her mother made her memorize as a child hoping that she will be seated somewhere far, far away from… her. 

But the lord or whatever controls her fate must be feeling vengeful today because she ends up on the seat exactly across, with curious dark eyes scanning her face.

The drinks are already spread on the table, some half full from the drinking that is already evident from the red cheeks and louder-than-sober volume of the people around. 

“So, the party has already started…” Wendy chuckles, handing her friend a cup and pouring some unknown liquor in. “Thanks for accompanying me, by the way.”

“What are friends for, if not to get drunk with you in your company party?” Seulgi smiles a little stiffly

She stares at the liquid on her cup for a moment before tossing it back in one impressive gulp and wincing immediately afterwards. 

“I better catch up.” Is all she says as an explanation to her friend’s raised brow. To her credit, Wendy only laughs in response before refilling the cup. 

Seulgi mentally pats herself on the back for successfully not making eye contact with the person seated across her. 

Maybe this is fine. 

She can spend the whole night looking at Wendy next to her or the floor or the alcohol on the table…

“There’s someone I want you to meet…” Seulgi hears Seungwan start, and as if in slow motion her eyes flit to the girl across her who looks back with an expression she can’t describe. 

“Joohyun-unnie, this is my close friend Seulgi.” 

The chatter and laughter seems to have ceased and a spotlight beams up on the two of them. Maybe neither of those things actually happen but the woman across the table is looking so intently at Seulgi she wonders if she is x-raying right through to her soul or internal organs.

Her eyes can’t help but scour the face in front of her with barely restrained eagerness. Her hair is longer now, framing her face like a goddess straight out of a painting in a museum. Her lips are a shade darker, wine stained or a new type of lipstick from what she usually wore. But her eyes still has that same deep intensity.

The eye-contact battle seems to go on forever, at least uncomfortable enough for Wendy to cough awkwardly and nudge Seulgi with her foot. 

Before Seulgi can say anything, the woman opens to speak:

“I know you, right?”

Please never mention this relationship to her again.

The pitter patter of hailing bullet-rain feels like it’s going right through Seulgi at that very moment and the laughter-like noise that erupts from might sound more like a cry than anything else. She can feel her friend’s stare next to her, worried and curious. 

“No. We’ve never met before, sorry.”

Something in Joohyun’s expression seems to flicker and fade. She apologizes and smiles a reserved smile to introduce herself. 

“My name is Bae Joohyun. I work with Seungwan.”

“Oh… that’s cool,” And a nudge on her foot propels, “I’m Kang Seulgi.”

Seulgi has always been bad at hiding her feelings, the discomfort from this conversation seems so evident to anyone paying attention that she feels a hand reach for hers. 

“Are you alright?” Wendy whispers to her ear. 

She feels the stare from across the table without even having to look she draws her hand away gently. “Yeah, I’m just not feeling very well today I guess.”

Later after washing her hands in the bathroom and giving herself a quiet pep-talk (mostly consisting of “pull yourself together” and splashing water on her face), she looks up upon hearing the door open. 

Through the reflection of the mirror, she makes eye contact with her again. Joohyun. 

Seulgi wrenches away from the possibility of another staring contest because being alone like this suddenly feels like dangerous territory. So she swipes at the paper towel machine like a maniac and wipes her fingers hastily before making a quick exit. 

“I’m really sorry about earlier,” A voice halts her feet from moving further. “I know this will sound really stupid but…” 

Seulgi doesn’t turn around even though she can hear the voice getting closer, the sound of footsteps approaching nearer. 

“... I just feel like we’ve met before--”

“You’re mistaken.” She doesn’t mean to sound that harsh, but she’s also gone through five or six cups of whatever bottle Wendy chose to introduce to her during the evening. 

Please never mention this relationship to her again.

She feels a pang of regret weighing heavily in her chest when she turns to see the other woman with tears threatening to spill against the bottom lashes of her eyes. 

“Oh… . I’m sorry.” Seulgi whispers just as a tear makes its way down Joohyun’s face. She instinctively reaches a hand to wipe it with her thumb and the gesture elicits a sob. 

Seulgi had several scenarios of what would have happened today. None involved trying to calm the woman in a bathroom. 

“Please stop crying.” 

Another sob.

“Okay, at least just breathe for a second. You might have a panic attack.” Seulgi pats her back and makes circles with her palm. 

The woman turns to her with red eyes and that same look from when they first met eyes that evening. 

“How do you know about that?”

Seulgi’s mind short-circuits for a moment because Joohyun’s eyes, red rimmed, confused and hurt feels like someone squeezing her heart.

“What?”

“The panic attacks. How do you know?”

Seulgi blinks like maybe it will generate an answer that will save her from the situation. Say anything. Anything. 

“I… don’t.”

Joohyun narrows her eyes and steps away from Seulgi’s space. 

“Who are you?”

“I’m Seulgi.” 

Bae Joohyun has had you, Kang Seulgi, erased from her memory.

Please never mention this relationship to her again.

Thank you. 

Lacuna Inc. 

The small piece of paper, worn and almost fading stares back at Seulgi. This is it. The only reminder that what they have- had was real in the first place. A tangible object she can only hold onto and preserve for as long as she can. 

Hey. 

Her phone screen flashes the greeting. Wendy. She barely has time to think about answering before the vibrating buzz goes off again.

You remember Joohyun-unnie from before?

She’s asking to see you. 
 

Joohyun absentmindedly sips on the tea in her cup, thoughts too loud to be disturbed by the bustling sound of the café. But the spot she picked is precisely placed to have a view of the entrance, which rings a little bell as a warning that a person has entered or left. 

Like a Pavlovian response, her eyes flit up towards the door when the bell rings. 

Ring. 

This feels completely out of character of her, that she wonders how she even got to this position in the first place. 

It’s the seventh ring since she sat with her tea, a slim figure cautiously enters the space. Joohyun takes the moment before the other person sees her to observe: her clothing seems far more casual than when they first met. The plaid shirt and black skinny jeans seem to suit her personality better. 

Not that I really know her. 

When they make eye-contact, Seulgi’s face breaks into this smile and her eyes shape into little crescents. Joohyun can’t stop herself from thinking about how cute she looks. 

“I didn’t think you would come.” She says in her quiet, reserved voice once Seulgi is settled with her cup of coffee. 

As if the gods are truly playing with them, the skies seem to open up again. With more intensity and rage and heavy drops of rain pour down, make little splashes on the pavement. 

“It always rains when we meet.” Seulgi chuckles, gazing out the window to observe people running for shelter or the safety of their umbrella.

Joohyun is far too occupied by other thoughts to humor the observation. 

“Are you and Wendy together?”

It’s like another person has taken over her body, the sort that will bluntly ask a cute girl she just met if she’s seeing someone. The sort that can’t stop herself from thinking about how cute this girl is. 

Seulgi for her part, far too shocked to measure her response simply guffaws while shaking her head and reaching for her coffee. 

“You do that when you’re trying to hide something, right?”

“What?”

“You do that weird laugh and look away.”

“Seungwan and I are just friends,” Her gaze looks serious and she doesn’t look away like she usually does, like she’s trying to communicate without words. 

Joohyun nods and takes a moment to sip her drink, too cold and no longer pleasant for a while now. 

The conversation moves on to lighter topics somehow. She finds out a few details about Seulgi, though the woman seemed evasive for the better part of the afternoon. They’re from the same town, but somehow never crossed paths. From schools close to each other. 

“I really think I would’ve remembered seeing you around.” Joohyun frowns. 

I would have approached you then.

“Maybe that’s why you think you’ve seen me before.”

“Maybe.”

Before they know it, the eve dawns upon the city with heavy clouds continuing to pour with its heart’s content. 

“How did you get here?” Seulgi asks as they get up to put their jackets on. 

“I took the bus.”

“Oh.”

Then they’re in Seulgi’s car, with Joohyun clutching her giant umbrella and a light hum of some pop song playing on beat with the raindrops. 

The ride is silent but eerily comfortable. Joohyun looks out to the city through the water stained window and Seulgi hums as she steers. Something in Joohyun’s chest feels like it’s being squeezed, her mind feels like it’s searching for something that isn’t there. 

“You don’t have to walk me.” She says when Seulgi unbuckles her seatbelt. 

“I want to make sure you get in safely.”

They run like fools to her front step, squealing as if the rain will be affected by their volume. 

“You should let me know when you get home safely.” Joohyun says. 

They exchange numbers and she watches Seulgi's figure disappear, washed by the droplets of rain.