A/N: Please enjoy and don't forget to leave comments.

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Wonyoung never thought it would end up like this. She had it all figured out... at least that’s what she thought. The quick-witted girl always had a plan, and a backup plan, and a backup to the backup plan. However, this time there was no fallback or safety net for this. She was on her own, in a strange and unfamiliar place and she wasn’t sure how she would make her way out of it.

This sorrowful and tormenting place was called heartbreak. Admittedly, Wonyoung never understood those sad breakup songs, never fully understood why it was so difficult for people to move on or why others wallowed in misery for years... until she ended up in this place. The once hopeful girl never wanted to end up here but deep down, she expected it at some point. It happened to nearly everyone and it was a part of growing up, she just didn’t think it would hit this hard or hurt this much.

The grief-stricken teen looked back at everything along the way that caused her to end up in this state. It was so easy to avoid this she felt, it stung so much because she was so foolish. It wasn’t the fact that she had lost her first love to another, that things would never be the same, or even the fact that she knew how happy they were together, but that it was her unwillingness to speak up that caused her own undoing, her own failures that had pushed the person she loved into the arms of another.

Wonyoung could feel this burning sensation in the chest. It made her cry more, she cried and cried and cried and couldn’t stop, her eyes were so swollen and disgusting now.

She didn’t mean for this to happen, she just wanted to be nice, to be a friend but along the way things became so twisted. Wonyoung and the girl she loved, Yujin, were students at the same boarding school and were in the same dorm, sharing the same bedroom. That’s when they met and immediately without knowing why she was so bewitched by the other girl. They weren’t even meant to be in the same dorm as it had been separated by age and class ranks but they managed to stay together.

It felt nice to have someone of a similar age range and be of a similar height. It was nice not to have to awkwardly lower herself next to another, for someone else to feel the awkwardness of being long and gangly like her. The pretty brunette had the cutest smile with these two prominent front teeth and large captivating eyes that Wonyoung got lost in whenever she gazed at her.

The two of them quickly became peas in a pod, thick as thieves, they stuck with each other through thick and thin. Always attached at the hip together, within the first week they were sharing secrets, waiting for each other after class and buying each other special treats from the vending machine. Things were good, they grew incredibly close at an accelerated pace. It felt like Yujin understood her, like they were connected in some way. That’s when she felt the flutters for the first time but had just ignored it thinking that they were the bubbling feelings of a new friendship.

“You two are so cute together,” Her teacher, Eunbi, had once remarked as she saw the tall brunette waiting for her younger friend by the door. Wonyoung blushed and Yujin just shot the pretty teacher a smile before hooking arms with her younger comrade and guiding her out the door.

They were so good together, and Wonyoung realized that when there was a storm out, a gigantic old tree with long spindling branches located next to the window kept smacking right up against it. Between that and the rolling thunder, it kept the younger teen up way longer than it should have. It was so stupid too; she was growing up and would be a grown woman in just a few short years and she was still afraid of a simple storm. She was humiliated but she balled up in a small corner of the room on her bed and blubbered like a baby, trying to be as silent as possible not to annoy the sleeping girl across the room.

Wonyoung had her head buried in her knees when she heard her voice, “Wonyoungie?” She peered up, the lights were on and there was her roommate and best friend in front of her with a look of concern on her face. She then knew that it was more than just fluttering feelings of a best friend when her older peer decided to lay in her bed and let Wonyoung spoon her all night until morning, when the storm was over.

After that, the freshman felt like electricity was coursing through her body. She, for the first time in her young life had a crush, felt like she was in love. These feeling were intense and strange, like she couldn’t make sense of them but she felt like she was floating on cloud nine. Whenever Yujin hugged her or gave her that dazzling smile, her soul felt like it was on fire.

It was nice until she realized that this feeling was only temporary. It would begin to hurt and twist into heartache unless the other girl grew to like her back. Then it felt like she fell off cloud nine once she remembered that part, no wonder why they called it a crush, they really hurt.

These feelings no longer felt so nice but rather irritating because she was unsure of what to do with them. On one hand she could tell Yujin that she loved her and wanted to be with her, it wasn’t a matter of her ual orientation since the brunette beauty liked girls too. It was a matter of making things awkward, she didn’t want to ruin the friendship and make it weird. It would be even worse because they had the same friend group and were locked into sharing a room together until the semester was up.

“I don’t know what to do,” Wonyoung confided in their close friend, Gahyeon who stayed in the bedroom right next to theirs while at a rare lunch where their mood maker friend wasn’t present because of a track meet.

Gahyeon had known for a while, heck it seemed like everyone had known since the younger girl wasn’t good at hiding her emotions, everyone except Yujin knew, or maybe she did know but just didn’t want to say anything.

“I wish I knew what to tell you but I’ve never really been in love or had crushes before, I mean there was this one time in fourth grade but that didn’t really go anywhere.” The raven head shrugged as she bit into her sandwich.

The freshman poked out her cheeks, she was grateful have someone to talk to but she needed someone with more experience in these nuanced matters to help her come to the best decision.

Still, it was great not to keep it all bottled up inside the diary that she hid under her bed every night. “Thanks for being here and being my confidant, I really appreciate it.” The two girls shared a hug afterwards before being informed that lunch was ending soon and that they all needed to leave the cafeteria.

Later that night Wonyoung went to sleep with Yujin in her bed and arms s around the older girl’s torso and dreamed of the sleeping girl coming up to her, hands behind her back, twisting her foot on the ground, shyly looking downwards as she confessed that she also had a big fat crush on her too. Those dreams were always the sweetest.

What wasn’t the sweetest was when the new semester started and their good friend Gahyeon moved back home and wouldn’t be able to attend school with them anymore. It but they still had her number and promised to video call her whenever possible.

Wonyoung wanted to retch as she thought about when she had met the other girl, but she had been doing that enough already. It was a few days later and there was word of a beautiful redhead moving in. Wonyoung wanted to meet her and say hello but Yujin, her energetic social butterfly of a friend surprisingly wasn’t all that interested. “I don’t really want to go meet her, who cares?” She shrugged which was odd to the freshman but she didn’t pay it any mind.

"Why? We should go greet her and introduce ourselves, she must be so alone. It’s the right thing to do.” She jokingly pleaded on her knees beside Yujin’s bed, looking up with exaggerated puppy dog eyes. The tomboy rolled her eyes but agreed. Looking back, that was her first mistake, she wished she hadn’t pushed Yujin into meeting her.

It was a day later and the two tall roommates were knocking at the door of their friend’s former room. It opened fairly quickly and behind the door popped out, a redhead with breathtaking beauty, Minju.

Wonyoung heard Yujin audibly gasp and wondered why she had that exact reaction. Suddenly her tomboy friend who was typically fearless had a light blush dusting her cheeks and became a stuttering mess when she introduced herself. Wonyoung remembered thinking that was also strange, however (like an idiot) she did not question it.

They learned that the meek and shy girl was actually older than the both of them and would graduate next year, the only reason she was in these dorms is because the senior one was too full and there was an opening in the freshman dorm.

Quickly the two girls incorporated the senior to hang out with them and invited her to lunch. Instantaneously, the girl seemingly blended right in with their friend group like it was nothing. Everyone adored her, her innocent demeanor and sweet voice. Her boyish best friend had taken a particular liking to the girl which bothered her more than she liked to admit but there wasn’t anything she could do about it so she didn’t mention it.

Wonyoung regretted it, letting that girl into her friend circle, making herself so available, pushing her crush to even interact within the first place. It was partially her fault though, she never expected Yujin to leave her like this, she thought there would be more time, thought that she could wait longer to confess.

Now she was left on the sidelines as the two girls grew closer and closer. Wonyoung should have known something was up when their entire crew were out on the field, sitting on a picnic blanket. Minju was playing guitar with Yujin right next to her.

“You’re really good at that, I wish I knew how to play,” Yujin complimented, making the redhead flush and become even more rosy.

“Maybe I could teach you sometime,” Minju offered with a playful smile. The small shy glances they gave each other should have clued her in that something was going on; others had even commented that they looked like they were flirting, the freshman paid it no mind.

“Hmm, that might annoy my roommate though,” Yujin thoughtfully answered to which Wonyoung told her that it was cool and that she wouldn’t be bothered by them practicing in their shared room or in Minju’s room. That was her second mistake.

It wasn’t until Yujin had begun to blow her off more and more that she seriously questioned what their friendship truly was. Gone were the days when the track runner would wait for her after class, sit right next to her and give her full attention at lunch, buy her whatever she wanted from the vending machine and generally wait on her hand and foot like they usually did for each other.

Now she was spending more and more time with Minju. At lunch she would sit right next to the gentle, kind girl and look at her like she could turn on the sun. Suddenly the freshman couldn’t eat anymore, she felt ill.

The feelings got even worse when they had all went to the local movie theater to see the latest horror flick. It was generally a good time, helped get her mind off the situation at hand and everyone had enjoyed either pointing out the killer’s next move or being freaked out by the insanely good special effects. Wonyoung felt great until she looked over and saw the two in their own little world. Minju would peak through her fingers and then immediately hide her face into the taller girl’s chest whenever a jump scare happened. The younger girl only looked down at the senior hiding her face in her bust and gave a charming boyish and reassuring grin whenever Minju looked up at her.

Then the movie was ruined and the popcorn tasted like trash and the soda she was drinking began to taste like bile on her tongue. Wonyoung was really screwed up. This entire situation was screwed up. It was her that Yujin was meant to be making googly eyes at, blushing at, hanging onto every word she said, not Minju.

What really broke her was when she heard the two girls... experimenting on a number of occasions. She wasn’t so certain in the beginning, the first time she saw something strange was when she had opened the door to her own room and saw the two on Yujin’s bed scrambling apart, in the split second they were relaxing she was sure she saw the sophomore's large hand under the senior’s shirt.

The next time, it was somehow even more traumatic even though nothing was seen. Wonyoung just wanted the best pal to help her with homework like she usually did. The sophomore wasn’t there though, the bedroom was utterly empty. Wonyoung took a seat on her bed and waited for the girl to return. It wasn’t long until there were strange noises coming from Yujin‘s side of the room where on the other side Minju’s bedroom was located.

Slowly the freshman left her bed and dorm room to the room next over. Wonyoung pressed her ear up to the senior’s bedroom and heard the most disgusting noises in her life. The bed was creaking, Wonyoung was sure she heard Minju’s voice calling out Yujin’s name repeatedly, some weird wet sounds like either a sloshing or noise.

Even though she couldn’t see it, she could just visualize what they were doing and it made her sick. The heartbroken girl made her way to the communal bathroom located in the middle of the hall. Wonyoung hurriedly tied her hair up as best she could and lumbered into the stall, leaning over the porcelain white bowl and she spilled the contents of her lunch.

After that the young girl made her way to the sink basin and created a bowl with her hands, lapping up the cold tap water, hoping she would feel better.

The crushing blow came when once Yujin’s phone rang but she wasn't in the room. She was predictably in Minju’s room. This time when she walked over, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. There were rustling noises before she was told she could come in. Inside they were sitting on the bed, not very far apart. Their hair was messy like they had rolling around on the bed, Yujin’s shirt was inside out and her lips were smeared. Wonyoung’s keen eye saw the pink glittery lip gloss stains on the senior’s inner thighs underneath her skirt.

Saliva flooded like it usually would before she threw up. “Your mom was calling,” She managed to say, nearly throwing it at the girl before turning and stumbling back down the hall to the bathroom, repeating the same actions as last time. This time, her best friend and her best friend’s girlfriend had seen her flee and followed her into the bathroom.

The tall brunette banged on the stall, “You okay in there Wonyoungie?” The maknae smiled through her vomiting, she hadn’t been called that by her crush in a long time.

The smile was quickly wiped off her face and replaced by more puking when the person she hated, who had stolen her love from her asked if there was anything she could do.

“No,” There was nothing Minju could do except jump off a bridge. “There isn’t, I guess I ate something bad for lunch, that’s all. I’ll be fine.” She weakly tried to convince, she could tell the two older girls weren’t buying it, she wasn’t either but they eventually left her alone.

She thought it would be okay and she was for a while until another storm came through. Once again, the stupid branch of that god forsaken tree smacked against the window, the thunder boomed and frightened the young girl.

There was a knock at the door and Yujin got up to answer it, it was Minju looking completely shaken up. Yujin quickly took the older girl into her arms. “I am so sorry to bother you guys; this is so embarrassing but I’m really freaked out by rain and thunderstorms.” The redhead nearly teared up.

“It’s okay, you can sleep in bed with me,” She said before remembering her best friend’s phobia of storms as well. “Is that okay?” Yujin turned to her, almost pleading look in her eyes, as if begging Wonyoung to let her sleep in the same bed as her beloved.

“Don’t worry I’ll be fine,” Wonyoung reassured, hoping to sound as convincing as possible. The runner nodded as she slipped into bed and wrapped her long limbs around her girlfriend. The freshman bit her fluffy white comforter all night to muffle her cries as tears streamed down her cheeks.

After that her lovesickness increased tenfold, Wonyoung could barely keep food down, she was barfing all the time and half the time she no longer made it to the bathroom due to how sluggish she was from being sick. Her grades began to suffer as well, going from an A+ to a C- in a matter of weeks.

“Wonyoung are you doing okay?” Asked Sakura, her foreign language teacher. Her teacher was young and bubbly, seemingly very ditzy at times, however even she could see that the distraught student was not doing her best.

“Why do you ask seonsangnim?”

“Because my teaching assistant Hyewon tells your grades are slipping in my class. You’ve gone from a B+ to a D- in just a month, you used to be one of my better students. What’s wrong?”

Wonyoung shook her head as she packed up her belongings, “Just going through something right now, don’t know how to fix it is all,” The grieving girl hurried out the classroom, lest she be forced into talking about this even more.

After that she decided she needed to get a grip on herself. She couldn’t let her first love being stolen ruin her life, she needed to get ahold of herself and let go of this. So, she buried herself in her work, trying to fix her grades. If she only thought about school work then she wouldn’t be able to think about her heart ache. Before long, she was making straight A’s again but at the expense of all her friendships.

Wonyoung still felt terrible but for different reasons, her grades were good again but she had distanced herself from her friend group, luckily in her intense studying she found a different one and they met in the library after class every day. The freshman also made sure to never be seen by the roommate. She hoped that this would bury the feelings and she’d no longer be attracted to the funny and brazen girl. Anywhere Yujin was, Wonyoung was sure not to be there. It hurt, letting go of her old friends and of course her crush but it’s what had to be done. She made sure to be there whenever Yujin had fallen asleep and out the door before she was awake.

Luckily it seems that Yujin spent most of her nights in her girlfriend’s room. Unluckily, sometimes the bed squeaking noises made her vomit all over again.

Wonyoung was still madly, deeply, truly in love with the other girl and held out some hope that they could be together but in the back of her mind she knew that would never be possible, at least not in this life time. She was great at masking it though, until randomly Yujin showed up at their dorm. The freshman made sure to keep track of the sophomore’s schedule so that she could avoid her at all times. Was it creepy? Kind of. Was it useful? Absolutely. Until it wasn’t.

“Hey,” Wonyoung jumped nearly a meter in the air until she turned around and saw the person that brought so much pleasure and pain was standing behind her, awkwardly holding onto her elbow as she looked shyly at her. This was so weird; in the beginning they were inseparable but now they felt like strangers.

“Hi,” Wonyoung barely threw her a glance as she swung her backpack over her shoulder, trying to leave until Yujin grabbed her by the arm to pull her back. It still shot the same electric sparks down her spine even when she didn’t want it to. Just when she thought she was over her crush, these feelings all came flooding back.

“Please don’t go, I miss you. I miss us, why aren’t we friends anymore?” The younger teen felt like her heart was breaking when she heard her best friend’s voice crack. Wonyoung turned to look at the sophomore and she looked pitiful. Her lower lip jut out as her eyes became glassy, full of unshed tears.

The maknae was speechless. “I well, I had been taking some time to myself and I know you’re busy too with your track meets and other things” Wonyoung trailed off, not knowing how to end this awkward exchange.

“I’m sorry I blew you off to hang out with my girlfriend but I really miss us,” Wonyoung felt destroyed. This whole time it had never been said, that dreaded word that filled her with discomfort, girlfriend.

But she was right, Minju was Yujin’s girlfriend and she could at least pretend in the back of her mind that the two were just messing around instead of actually lovers.

“No, it’s okay, this is your first time being in a relationship and those things take time and work, if I had a girlfriend, I’d be the exact same way probably.” She felt dizzy, her palms were clamming up, felt like there was a giant pill stuck in with no water to swallow.

“Come to the track meet with me and everyone else, they missed you and I have to race today. It’s not been the same without you,” Yujin pleaded, tears falling freely at this point. Wonyoung smiled and nodded before quickly turning on her heals and heading out the door.

She didn’t know where she was going but she knew she had to get away. Finally, after what felt like forever, she made it to a more secluded part of school in front of the science building, there was a large tree with a bench under it. She sat down on and broke down; big fat tears ran down her chubby cheeks. This was different than the hurling had been. When she saw them in love and so happy it made food taste terrible, made her stomach upset, gave her terrifying nightmares.

Hearing Yujin say the word girlfriend was ...disgusting. It absolutely gutted her; it was soul crushing. It hurt so much because it forced Wonyoung to accept and recognize the truth, she let her friend go into the arms of another, she didn’t do anything to stop it and she had even unknowingly encouraged it. It was all her fault and that made her cry. She cried and cried for what felt like hours and her voice was gone. The gangly limbed teen was sure that eyes were swollen and disgusting.

She sat there alone weeping quietly until she felt a hand come up from behind and land on her shoulder. It was her friend, well maybe a former friend as she hadn’t hung out with her in a while, Chaewon.

“Hey baby,” She greeted sweetly as she took her place beside her on the bench. Wonyoung didn’t need to look at her to know she had a concerned face as it was easy to see the younger teen was perturbed.

“Hi Chae unnie, long time no see huh?” She could tell she sounded terrible, her voice was crackly and nearly gone.

“What’s bothering you sweetness?” The older student had taken to rubbing her junior’s back. She felt comforted having the maternal older girl rub her back like this. Made her think of when her older sister did it.

“I’m in love with someone, but that person loves someone else and not me. That other person loves them back too. It’s been making me sick, literally.”

Chaewon nodded in understanding. “This is about Yujin and Minju right?” Wonyoung’s eyes grew wide as she tried to deny before promptly being shut down by the senior. “You can’t lie to me. I know this is about them, it’s been kind of obvious, Minju and Yujin know too.” With that the freshman let out a broken sob.

“Don’t cry, you’ve done enough of that and it’s done no good. You have to get over this, you’re making your friends sad by you being sad. You need to move on from her and learn to be happy for her and find someone that truly makes you happy. You can’t wallow in misery forever, it’s no good for you.”

“I don’t know how, I thought ignoring her and spending time away from her would do it but it hasn’t helped at all.”

“And it won’t help. You need to face these feelings and let go of them. I’m sorry that you missed your chance but time does not stand still and neither should you. Now let’s go see her race.” Chaewon stood up and offered her hand. Wonyoung took it and they walked across campus to the field where Yujin would run for the gold.

Wonyoung looked a mess she knew, but the others didn’t care as she made her way into the stands. They were all happy to see her as she had been dearly missed while away dealing with her unreturned affection. Minju even came and gave her a hug and Wonyoung strangely didn’t feel like strangling her.

They looked to the fields and saw the tall brunette in a dark blue track suit towering over almost all of her opponents. Yujin first saw her girlfriend and made a small finger heart. It still hurt but she knew she would get over it eventually. The track star then turned and had a momentary look of surprise until giving her the sweetest toothy grin that she had missed so much.

Of course, Yujin and her team had won, it wasn’t hard when nearly everyone on her team was a giant compared to everyone else. They all made their way down to congratulate the ecstatic sophomore. Obviously, she went for her girlfriend first and gave her the biggest hug she could. Wonyoung stood off to the side of their friends, still feeling awkward and wanting to remain unnoticed. Her best friend wouldn’t let that happen and made her way to her, snaking her arms around her torso and holding her tight. It had been a long time since this happened. It felt just as good, different but still nice.

“There’s someone I want you to meet,” The tall teen quirked up a brow, confused at the sly grin her bestie was giving her as she led her to an equally tall girl with flaming red hair wearing the same royal blue track suit.

“This is Yuna,” The brunette introduced and Wonyoung felt her cheeks grow red at the mischievous look that twinkled in the redhead’s eyes and the flirtatious smile she sent her.

The flush grew even deeper as the other girl sized her up, giving her a full onceover before sticking out her hand. “Nice to finally meet you,” Even the way she talked was flirtatious and bubbly. Yujin seemed to take notice as well as she shot her teammate a look that went ignored. “Yujinnie here has told me all about you,” She gave the sophomore a pat on the back.

Wonyoung rubbed the back of her neck, shy and embarrassed. She still looked a mess from crying earlier, had she known there were cute girls like this she would’ve gotten dressed up a bit more and saved the crying for later. She was glad that Chaewon had applied generous amounts of makeup on her to hide the redness and swollen areas before they came or else, she’d look even worse. “Only good things I hope,” Wonyoung bit her lip as she batted her eyes coyly at the other.

The third wheel was perceptive to what was happening here and decided to make her exit. “Well I’ll be taking my leave then,” She muttered which went mostly ignored by the other girls as Yuna took her best friend’s hand and led to a more secluded corner of the field.

Yujin made her way to her girlfriend and hooked her arm around her shoulder. “I think Wonyoungie is going to be alright.”

“You sure? I just want her to be happy, she’s been pining over you for a real long time.” Questioned Minju with concern in her evident in her voice. Just then the track runner got a text from her team member. It was a boastful message about she got Wonyoung’s number in record time, several days before Minju had given Yujin her number.

“Yeah I think she’ll be alright.” She mentioned before showing the redhead the message to which she giggled when Yujin launched another text war with her teammate about how the circumstances were different. Minju rolled her eyes before leading the distracted girl back to their friends who had all migrated to the parking lot as they were all going to get celebratory pizza. They saw Yuna and her close group of friends along with Wonyoung pile into a car before heading off first.

Yujin smiled as she thought that maybe things were looking up and this small setback wasn’t the end of the world and this wouldn't be the end of their friendship either.