Fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes is the absolute longest Chaeyoung allows herself to wait every time her already compromised beauty sleep is threatened by the tossing and turning of the girl above her before she sits up and calls out her name.

It’s a good strategy, since Tzuyu falls asleep pretty fast the nights where her mind isn’t being plagued by some awful thought or another. When it is, though, and is left unattended, neither of them is able to get a second of sleep, given Tzuyu’s constant shifting in bed and sighing into her pillow and Chaeyoung’s stubborn need to stay awake and make sure she doesn’t hear any crying. So, what she has come to learn in the past few weeks (and especially after the first night), is that the best thing to do in these situations is to make her talk.

Their debut is two days away, however, so Chaeyoung only gives her the five minutes it takes for her phone to read 12.27 AM before she sits on her bed and looks up in the direction of the mattress that’s only centimeters above her head.

“Tzuyu? Are you okay?”

The following silence reminds Chaeyoung of how alone they are in this room, the smallest in the dorm but also the least crowded. Dahyun was supposed to sleep here, too, but it soon became apparent that the most practical arrangement was for her and Sana to share one of the bunk beds in the big room, along with the rest of the J-line.

Chaeyoung likes it this way. If she could pick a single roommate for the rest of their careers, it’d probably be Tzuyu. Her favorite part of every day is when they’re all told to go to sleep and she basks in the knowledge that even if she has to part from the rest, she still gets to have Tzuyu for a little longer (and the others don’t). But it’s not just about them being best friends, -god knows Momo and Sana rooming together has not spared anyone any headaches- everyone would be lucky to have a roomie that understands the concept of alone time and smiles at you every morning.

She hears the bed frame creak around her when Tzuyu grips the side of her own mattress and leans down to look at her. The lights are off and the window curtains are partially drawn, but she’s lived this scene enough times for her to be able to imagine Tzuyu’s upside-down face and her long hair hanging at such an unnatural angle that she always wants to laugh.

“I can’t sleep,” Tzuyu’s voice is soft and her Korean is still a little rough, but the mix is so fundamentally her that Chaeyoung can’t help but secretly wish it stays that way forever.

Chaeyoung doesn’t say anything, just lays down and slithers her way to the side until her back is pressed against the wall. As usual, she needs a few seconds to get used to the cold, about the same time it takes for Tzuyu to maneuver herself off the top bunk and onto the bottom one. The bed is pretty small, but that’s fine because so is Chaeyoung, and she likes the scent of Tzuyu’s shampoo (chocolate and mint).

Once the rustling of the blankets that Tzuyu carefully drapes over them dies down, Chaeyoung’s eyes try their best to paint features on the familiar shadow that is Tzuyu’s face. After a while, she’s able to make out the outline of her nose and the shape of her eyes, which remain as two black holes.

“Do you miss home?” nine times out of ten, that’s the reason for Tzuyu’s restlessness, so it’s always a safe bet to start with that.

“No… it’s not that,” there’s a different shade of hesitation in her voice, and Chaeyoung feels a wave of curiosity wash over her to override any exhaustion she might have been feeling.

“What is it, then?”

Tzuyu makes a pained sound, and while some people advocate not forcing a person to open up when they don’t want to, Chaeyoung knows better. Tzuyu could seal her own lips forever if it meant not worrying anyone around her. When they first came into this room, for example, Chaeyoung immediately claimed the top bunk. She never gets to be that far from the ground, for god’s sake. Tzuyu had just smiled and nodded in compliance, and it wasn’t until three days later that Chaeyoung realized that the dull thud she kept hearing every morning? Yeah, that was Tzuyu’s head hitting the roof of the bottom bunk whenever she tried to sit up. Chaeyoung finally caught her when she was coming back from the bathroom, still half asleep. She asked her then why in the world she hadn’t said anything, but Tzuyu just shrugged in embarrassment and shot her a grateful look when Chaeyoung demanded they switch.

The point is that letting her be isn’t an option.

“C’mon, tell me. Did you read something mean online? Did management call you in for anything?” she can feel rather than see Tzuyu shaking her head at her every word. “Is it something the girls said?” she shoots in the dark.

The whole group gathered earlier to celebrate their upcoming debut, but Chaeyoung and Dahyun missed the last hour or so to go see a movie. When they came back, everyone was getting ready for bed, so she assumed nothing noteworthy had happened in the time they were gone.

She was wrong, apparently, because this time Tzuyu stays still. What?

“What did they say?”

“Nothing… bad.”

Chaeyoung is growing increasingly curious and willing to get up right now and go shake whoever it was that upset her. Tzuyu must sense this rather aggressive change of energy because she rushes to continue.

“They were just talking about, you know, the guys they’ve dated and stuff,” her fingers tie themselves into nervous knots in the space between them.

Chaeyoung frowns.

“And?”

“And I’ve never –I’ve never even kissed anyone,” Tzuyu’s voice weakens and dies.

Admittedly, Chaeyoung is a little shocked for a moment. It’s not like she’s never wondered about her friend’s romantic history, but until now she always assumed it was Tzuyu being reserved rather than having nothing to tell. And sure, at first glance it should seem impossible for a beauty like her to be romantically inexperienced, but now that she’s gotten to know her and her timid nature much better, it becomes more and more believable the more she thinks about it.

She composes herself quickly enough to mutter a “So?” that judging by the way Tzuyu cringes her hands away, is not as nonchalant as she meant it to be.

“So, all the others have. Nayeon had so many stories to tell…” the girl shakes her head as if to get rid of some atrocious memory. “Do you think I’m… weird or something?”

Chaeyoung once again has to fight the urge to bolt out of the room and yell at someone in sheer outrage because how dare they? Tzuyu probably didn’t let on that she was uncomfortable, but it’s easy to tell. Her head always bows a little and her smile drops from her eyes to her lips. She’s definitely gonna have to write a strongly worded message to the other girls as soon as Tzuyu feels better.

“Of course you’re not weird,” Chaeyoung says, dumbfounded. Tzuyu, who listens and smiles at every member when the others are talking over them, who is kind to everyone she meets even if they don’t deserve it, who never looks down on anybody despite being more beautiful and talented and hardworking than anyone could ever dream of being. Tzuyu, who would rather hit her head every morning than hurt Chaeyoung’s short little feelings. When she puts it this way, though, Tzuyu does seem pretty unusual. Just in the best possible kind of way. She doesn’t know how to word this, so she just tells her “You’re Tzuyu.”

The youngest shrugs.

“I guess. But think about it, Chaeng. We’re about to debut, which means we’re gonna be super busy all the time, not to mention the three-year dating ban. And when that’s over I’ll be 19, our lives will be just as stressful as they are now, if not more, and I still won’t have kissed anyone. And then-”

“Stop,” Chaeyoung cuts her off. “You’re spiraling. I don’t even think what you’re saying is that awful, but if you’re so worried about it, you could literally walk up to any guy with functional eyes and they’d be willing to kiss you. No questions asked. Hell, any random girl would probably kiss you, too,” she means the last part as a joke, but it doesn’t sound very funny said out loud.

“Maybe. But isn’t it supposed to be, I don’t know… special?” her voice is so very gentle and Chaeyoung can almost feel the heat coming off her cheeks.

Part of her wants to tell her that it’s only as important as she makes herself believe and that no sense of moral superiority should stop her from doing whatever she wants with her life, but then she realizes that if she’s gone this long without kissing anyone, it really is because she herself has chosen to wait. She bites her lip. She knows Tzuyu is right, as this appears to be a situation that will only snowball as time goes on.

An idea sparks in her mind, seemingly out of nowhere. It’s not the sort of thing you can blurt out, so she chews some more on her lip as she mulls over it. There’s a ticking clock echoing in the back of her mind, counting down the seconds for Tzuyu to get frustrated with her lack of answers and climb back up to her own bed, even if she knows the girl would be incapable of doing such a thing.

She opens twice before any words actually come out, and when they do it’s a miracle that they don’t trip on her tongue.

“Am I special to you?”

The silence that follows is suffocating. Chaeyoung can feel the adrenaline being released into her bloodstream, preparing her body to jump off the bed and dash out of the dorms before her friend starts crying for their unnies’ help. The sound of her own heartbeat is so loud she barely hears Tzuyu’s low, but certain answer.

“Yes.”

This time her body goes haywire for an entirely different reason. The blood is still rushing in her ears and she still feels somewhat breathless, but in an addictive, exhilarating manner.

“Alright, then.”

She props herself up on a very shaky elbow and takes a deep breath as she looks down at the silhouette of her best friend. This angle lets her see more of Tzuyu’s features than before, like her wide-eyed look of wonder and her parted lips.

When she realizes she could spend the rest of the night admiring her face if she doesn’t force herself to move, Chaeyoung counts to three in her head, places a hand on the other’s blazing cheek and leans down to press against Tzuyu’s.

It’s warm. Chaeyoung’s lips are always a little bit chapped, but Tzuyu’s aren’t and that makes the way they fit together kind of perfect, in her opinion. She can recognize the faint taste of mint toothpaste and surely so can Tzuyu, because they share the same one. It’s a delicate kiss, lips barely brushing against the other’s, but it somehow feels like their only possible kiss.

They don’t break apart until the warmth has spread down Chaeyoung’s face to her chest and arms, and they’re both slightly out of breath because they’ve clearly overestimated their lungs. Chaeyoung keeps her eyes closed as she Tzuyu’s face one last time and reluctantly lays back down next to her, hugging herself in order to maintain the warmth, and also to keep her hands off her friend.

The room goes unbearably quiet for yet another eternity, but Tzuyu isn’t asleep. Chaeyoung knows what her breathing sounds like when she’s sleeping, and this isn’t it. She bites her lip, then remembers where it has just been and stops. Then she thinks about losing her best friend.

Finally, Tzuyu speaks.

“Do you think,” she starts, as sure of Chaeyoung’s wakefulness as Chaeyoung is of hers. “Do you think that what we did was wrong?” she sounds confused and maybe a little scared, but not mad.

Chaeyoung frowns. Wrong? Who could ever think that kissing your best friend, who you love-

Oh. The people that roll their eyes whenever they’re watching a western show featuring a girl kissing another girl. Or the people that shoot warning glares at adult women holding hands with each other in public. Those people. Most people.

But this is different. There’s nothing wrong or disgusting about Chaeyoung, and there most certainly isn’t about Tzuyu. Anyone with half a brain would understand.

“No,” she decides then, proud of how sure she sounds. “I don’t think it was wrong at all.”

“Okay,” Tzuyu seems satisfied with the answer and her hands (which don’t feel as cold as they usually do) find Chaeyoung’s and give them a light tug.

Chaeyoung can’t help but smile at the familiar signal. She drags her body until it’s pressed against her friend’s and throws an arm over her flat stomach. Their height difference (which only seems to grow larger with each passing day, damn it) makes Tzuyu’s shoulder the ideal place to rest her head on, and that way she can hear the girl’s content sigh.

One not-so-cold hand comes up to run its fingers through Chaeyoung’s hair, and she can feel it becoming slower and clumsier as the minutes go on, until it finally drops to the side when Tzuyu’s breathing evens out.

Only then does Chaeyoung stretch out a blind hand in the direction of her nightstand to feel for her phone. After making sure its light hasn’t woken Tzuyu, she sets an alarm for ten minutes earlier than when she knows Jeongyeon will be coming to wake them up, giving the youngest enough time to climb up to her own bed. It’s a habit they picked up after Dahyun walked in on them trying to press their dimples together, and gave them a look Chaeyoung never wants to see again on any of the members’ faces. She has a feeling Jeongyeon would be far more tolerant, but she’s not willing to risk creating tension during their debut week, so alarm clock it is.

Then she closes her eyes and tries to come up with a good story to tell the next time someone asks who her first kiss was.